The Darkest Hour
by tmtcltb
Summary: This is an AU story describing how things might have gone down if Kara Foster did not out herself and Danny Green in Lockdown. This story is independent of my other stories and is rated M for mature themes.
1. The darkest hour is just before the dawn

_Ch. 1 - The darkest hour is just before the dawn_

 _x_

Kara was laughing at Tex's imitation of Commander Slattery when Doctor Scott entered the isolation tent, following closely by Doctor Tophet and Doc Rios. The three had been in and out of the tent many times over the past five days, but there was a stark difference this time, one that immediately caught the attention of the five patients. Instead of being covered from head to foot by hazmat suits, Doctor Scott and Doctor Tophet were wearing simple lab jackets, while Doc Rios was in his uniform.

Doctor Scott stopped at the entrance to the space, hand moving to her throat as she considered the five of them, her eyes lingering for a long moment on Maya's empty cot. When Doctor Scott finally spoke, her voice cracked, betraying her emotions. "Before I release you, I wanted to say…that you are all extraordinary people. You have gone far beyond the call of duty and I owe you a debt of gratitude. The human race owes you a debt of gratitude. Without your bravery we would not be in the position we are in right now – heading home with not only a vaccine, but with a cure. So I thank you."

"And we thank you Doctor Scott," Master Chief Jeter, appropriately, was the one to respond. The man whose belief in the success of the trial had never wavered. "I lost my family long before this tragedy struck and I often wondered why I had survived. But now I understand that I was left alive for a higher purpose. To allow me to be here to assist you, Doctor Scott."

Kara felt tears sting her eyes as she gazed back and forth between Doctor Scott and the Master Chief. Two people who had stood firm in the face of adversity, certain of who they were and what they had to do, what their mission was. So very different from the doubts that plagued Kara's mind every time she closed her eyes.

 _The fear. The hurt. The longing for something that was never meant to be._

"Well, if the fancy speeches are done, is it time to break out of this joint? Because while I love spending time with you, Doc, I not love the smell of disinfectant."

Tex's remark broke the solemn mood and Kara, along with Tex, Commander Garnett, Miller and the Master Chief, began gathering her belongings. While she was still somewhat nauseous, Kara was more than ready to return to her cabin. She had begun to go stir crazy in this tent with nothing to do other than sleep or read and was hoping that Alisha was off duty and could fill her in on what had happened outside of the helicopter bay over the past five days. A light touch on her shoulder distracted Kara from her thoughts. She turned to see Doctor Scott.

"I would prefer that you stay behind for a little while, Lieutenant Foster."

"Of course," Kara responded automatically, but a chill swept through her as she realized why Doctor Scott would ask her – only her – to stay behind. And the reason was not good. Doctor Scott had to be worried about her seizure, and whether there were going to be long-term consequences. Kara's gaze met Commander Garnett's, who had turned towards them, presumably having heard Doctor Scott's request. The Commander smiled at Kara in a reassuring manner. "It should be a lot quieter without the entertainment. If you want, I can finish reading my reports here."

Kara bit down on her lip uncertainly. The idea of staying here – alone – in the isolation tent was not appealing, but Kara knew how anxious Commander Garnett had been to return to her post and check to see what it happened during her absence. Workaholic did not come close to describing the woman's dedication to her job.

"I'm sure that you have a lot to do, ma'am," Kara began.

"I can read reports just as well from here as from my cabin. Besides, Captain Chandler has barred me from engineering until at least tomorrow so he'll be avoiding me." Andrea Garnett winked at Kara as she settled back onto her cot, picking up the first from a pile of files.

Doctor Scott hesitated, almost as though she was going to object to the Commander's presence, before she changed her mind. "I need to take another blood sample, Lieutenant. Just to check a few things."

Kara obediently held out her arm, wincing slightly as the needle slid into the back of her hand. The veins in her arms had given out yesterday after four days of abuse and this was the second time that Doctor Scott had been forced to resort to her hand. After all the poking and prodding of the last five days, Kara would be happy to never see a needle again.

Doctor Scott pocketed the vials of blood she had taken from Kara. "I'll be back as soon as I finish running the tests."

Kara watched as Tex, Miller, and Jeter left the tent, envious of their departure despite knowing that she would be following them shortly. Once they had the tent to themselves, Kara turned Commander Garnett. "Thank you for staying ma'am. The idea of waiting here alone was a bit unsettling."

"Feeling like a lab rat?"

"Or perhaps like I'm in the Planet of the Apes." Kara replied, gesturing at Doctor Scott's sole surviving monkey, who was currently hanging out on a corner of the doctor's desk eating crackers from a bowl.

Commander Garnett chuckled. "You should call me Andrea, or Eng, when we're off duty. No point in standing on formality with someone who sang you nursery rhymes."

Kara was surprised that the Commander – Andrea – had mentioned those moments when, at the height of their delirium, Andrea had believed Kara to be her daughter and Kara, for her part, had been more than willing to accept that mothering, reality blurring with memories of Debbie singing to Kara as a child. Kara met the older woman's eyes directly, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that had been formed in those moments.

"You have a beautiful voice, Andrea. You should sing more often."

Andrea smiled slightly. "Don't tell anyone. It might ruin my reputation."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"If you don't mind, Commander Garnett, I would prefer to speak to Lieutenant Foster alone," Doctor Scott said as she approached the two women an hour later.

Kara pushed herself to a seated position. She had been lying on her cot, reading _A Brief History of the United States_ , which she had borrowed from Carlton before entering the tent five days ago. Despite the title, the book was not brief. In fact, it was over seven hundred pages. But it was a decent read – at least it had been interesting enough to distract her from the tests that Doctor Scott was running.

Andrea glanced at Kara questioningly and Kara nodded. "Thank you for staying with me, Andrea. It made the time go by much quicker."

Doctor Scott waited patiently while Andrea gathered the reports that she had strewn across the cot formerly occupied by the Master Chief and left. As the hatch swung closed behind the engineer, Kara noticed again how quiet it was in the isolation tent, which muffled much of the background noise that Kara had become accustomed to on the Nathan James.

Kara decided to hit the topic head on. "I guess you have bad news if you need to speak with me alone."

"Not bad, exactly," Doctor Scott began, and then stopped. "Let me start over. I have been meaning to talk to you for several weeks now, to thank you. Not just for your assistance in establishing the video link back in Cuba, but for … supporting me. It meant more to me than you probably realized."

Kara stared at Doctor Scott blankly, the unexpected reference to Gitmo triggering a jumble of emotionally charged memories.

 _Watching the clock click to zero, her chest tighten until she could barely breathe, knowing that Danny was out of oxygen._

 _Danny finally appearing - in CIC – after what felt like hours – to report to Commander Slattery, the shadows in his eyes tearing at her heart._

 _Slipping into his stateroom as he was packing up Frankie's belongings, his devastation etched onto his face._

 _The feeling of helplessness as he cried, before she distracted him the only way she could think of, with a kiss that it turned into so much more._

 _Her happiness when Captain Chandler assigned her to impersonate Rachel on the speedboat, understanding how much faith the Captain – and Danny – would be placing in her._

 _The stiffness of Danny's shoulders when he told her to bail, leaving her both infuriated by his high handedness and strangely thrilled to know that he was willing to risk the mission to keep her safe._

 _The anger blazing in his eyes when he told her that he loved her, then demanded that she stay away from him._

 _Followed by six long weeks of being treated as nothing more than a colleague_

 _Weeks when she fell asleep each night dreaming of the stolen kisses in the Arctic, his hand on hers at the rail of the ship as they approached the coast of the United States, the look in his eyes when she stumbled across him in the helicopter bay before they reached Serrano Bay. Then waking up to his utter indifference as he entered the wardroom, laughing at something Tex said or planning his day with Burk, his eyes gliding past her without so much as a flicker of interest, each indifferent glance and curt nod a cut to her heart, until she became almost numb to the pain._

 _Leaving her with nothing else to do but pick up the pieces of her shattered heart._

Kara could only hope that her confusion and pain was not written across her face. "I was just doing my job, ma'am. As were you."

"Anyway," Doctor Scott continued, "I hoped that we could move to a first-name basis. Please call me Rachel. Would it be okay for me to call you Kara?"

"Of course Rachel." Kara didn't hesitate. With so few women on the ship, they needed to stick together, and Kara sensed that Rachel could use a friend.

"Good." Rachel relaxed slightly, a smile crossing her face for an instant before it faded, as though she had just remembered why they were here. "As for your blood results, physically you will make a full recovery. There appear to be no lasting from the seizure. But your blood results also revealed something else, Kara."

"You're pregnant."


	2. A Moment of Pleasure, A Lifetime of Regr

_A/N – thank you to everyone who had favorite and followed and most especially reviewed this story! I enjoy hearing all of your thoughts. Before I continue, I wanted to emphasize that this story has a M rating for a reason. This chapter includes adult content and mention of abortion. I am aware of the sensitive nature of the subject and if that is something that you do not want to read about, I suggest you skip this chapter._

x

 _Ch. 2 - A Moment of Pleasure, A Lifetime of Regret_

 _x_

Kara stared blankly at Rachel. "I'm what?"

"Pregnant." Rachel handed Kara a file containing blood results. "Based on your HcG levels, I would estimate six to eight weeks."

Blood pounded through Kara's head and she squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to block out the memories.

 _Six weeks ago._

 _Gitmo._

 _Danny's cabin._

A moment of stupidity that she had spent the last six weeks trying to forget.

 _Six weeks ago_

 _Kara held Danny against her, eyes smarting as she felt his tears soaking into the fabric of her collar, knowing that this was about so much more than Frankie. This was about the terror, the tension, the stress that had filled every moment of every day since those Russian helicopters had appeared in the Arctic and their lives had become a bad horror movie, one in which nothing felt real. Nothing except this. The now. The present. The man she was holding in her arms. THIS was the only thing that was real anymore._

 _Kara felt the tension building in Danny's muscles as he struggled to regain control of his emotions, knowing that he was about to pull away, to shut her out and pretend that he had it all under control; to hold it all in until he snapped._

 _She couldn't let that happen._

 _Head turning, Kara pressed a kiss to Danny's jawline, and then another, noticing the shift in his breathing a second before his lips grazed her bare skin just above her collar. Kara trembled as he nibbled his way up her neck to nip at her ear. Catching his head in her hands, she met his gaze squarely before rising on her tip-toes to capture his lips, biting down on his lower lip until she gained entrance to his mouth. His surprise lasted only a second before he was walking her backwards, their tongues tangling, his weight trapping her against the lockers as he leaned into her until their bodies touched from toes to chest, his lower body cradled against her hips, his erection rocking against her core. One of his hands rose to cup her breast, his thumb rubbing across the nipple, the sensation driving Kara crazy even through the layers of clothing. She moaned, her hands kneading at his shoulders as she wrapped a leg around his thigh to pull him closer into her embrace._

 _Danny tore his lips from hers, his breathing harsh as he rested his head against the cool metal of the locker. "We need to stop now before I can't."_

 _Kara's hands dropped from his shoulders to tug the hem of his shirt out of his pants. She sensed more than saw his confusion as he obediently pulled the shirt over his head. Kara leaned forward to flick her tongue over one nipple, grinning when his lower body jerked in response. Although they had certainly bent - contorted, twisted, circumvented - the rules, they had always stopped. Because she had always stopped him. She had always pulled back before they went too far._

 _But not this time._

 _Kara ducked under Danny's arm. Unzipping her uniform, she shrugged out of the top before pulled her t shirt over her head and dropping it haphazardly on the floor. Bending, she tugged off her shoes ungracefully before pushing her coveralls over her hips to pool on the floor. She smirked at the dumb-struck look on Danny's face as she reached for his belt._

 _"Who said you need to?"_

She had put her heart on the table, had given Danny everything that she had to give, and where was she now? Dumped and pregnant. Just like her mother had been. The very fate that Kara had sworn would never happen to her.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Kara groaned as bile filled the back of her throat.

Rachel handed her a bucket without comment, remaining silent as Kara emptied her stomach. Kara waited until she was certain that the waves of nausea had passed before raising her head, realizing that tears were leaking from the corners of her eyes.

"Six weeks. I'm six weeks."

"From your last period or the day of your last sexual encounter?" Rachel asked, her voice clinical as she picked up the paperwork that Kara had not bothered examining, knowing that Rachel would not have said anything unless she was certain.

"The later."

Rachel made a note. Setting the file back down, she reached forward to touch Kara's knee. "I presume from your reaction and from the general circumstances that this was not a planned pregnancy."

Kara couldn't help but laugh at Rachel's dry tone. "No, it wasn't."

"And the father?"

Kara's chest tightened until she could barely breathe. _Danny_. God, how could she tell him about this? Now, after he had made it so abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her? He would be furious – and rightfully so. This was all her fault. She had been the one to change the rules without even considering the consequences of her actions. And yet... Kara couldn't help the tiny spark of hope that blossomed as she thought of Danny. The hope that they could work things out, and raise this child together.

Kara shook her head at her own stupidity, banishing the thought as soon as it formed. This wasn't a fairy tale and Danny was no prince charming. "I…he's…I'll be doing this alone."

Rachel's eyes flashed and, for a moment, Kara thought that the other woman was going to argue with her. Uneasily Kara recalled a chilly night in the Arctic when she and Danny had been checking supplies together and Rachel Scott had walked in on them standing far closer than regulations permitted. At the time, Kara had assumed that Doctor Scott was unaware of the breech in protocol, but the look in Rachel's eye told Kara that her assumption had been wrong. Kara tensed, wondering what Rachel was about to do, but when Rachel did finally speak, it was on more practical matters.

"You do have options, Kara. Termination is a straight-forward procedure. Although we don't have the proper medication on board, the Nathan James is headed back to the States and I can help you get the drugs that you will need once we are there."

Bile rose in Kara's throat again at the thought. The idea was so horrific, and yet, what was the alternative? Raising a child in a world devastated by the Red Flu? Where would she even go? There was no place for a baby on the James, Kara knew that much without asking, but who would take in a woman with a newborn? One whose only job qualifications involved running the sophisticated computer system of a naval destroyer? Those skills would hardly be in demand in a world where electricity was a luxury. And even if she found a job, who would watch the child while she worked? How could she feed, clothe, care for an infant under such circumstances? Kara had never imagined being faced with such an unbearable decision. But isn't that what they were doing every minute of every day now? Making decisions that seemed unfathomable a month ago?

And then another terrifying possibility occurred to her. Kara's hand dropped to her stomach without conscious thought.

"Is it okay? I've been so sick..."

Rachel sighed. "I can't give you any guarantees, Kara. My professional opinion is that if you were going to miscarry, it would have happened already. You haven't had any cramping or bleeding that I am unaware of, have you?"

Kara considered the question carefully before responding. "No, nothing like that. Just exhaustion, and some nausea. I thought it was from the medication."

"It may be," Rachel responded. "Or it could be morning sickness - which is not confined to the morning, by the way. I believe that you are past the danger zone but if you are planning to continue the pregnancy, I would recommend staying off your feet as much as possible in the next week or so just to be safe."

Kara's eyes closed as relief surged through her, followed by bewilderment. Wouldn't it be _better_ if she miscarried? If the "problem" just went away without anyone else knowing? If there was no need to actually make a decision? If everything could go back to the way it was before?

Of course, Rachel wasn't done. "Morphine has been known to cause birth defects, especially heart problems, when taken during pregnancy. It has also been linked to early labor, although I believe that is only when administered later in the pregnancy. We did stop administering the morphine once we were certain of your recovery, but our options before that were limited."

In other words, no reason to worry about whether the medication being administered caused birth defects when the mother was dying anyway. "You made the best choice that you could, Rachel. I should have known that I was..." Kara trailed off, unable to bring herself to say the word.

"And I should have checked," Rachel replied, her regret obvious.

"Given that I have a medical assistant certificate, I really should have a better grasp of biology," Kara replied sardonically.

Rachel actually smiled at Kara's crack. "The good news is that the child will most likely be born immune. And if not, by the time you give birth we should have a version that is safe to use on infants. Assuming that is the path you choose to take, of course."

Kara opened her mouth but could only stare at Rachel, unable to form a complete thought.

Thankfully Rachel didn't seem bothered by Kara's sudden muteness. Reaching forward, she placing a hand on Kara's knee. "It's a lot to think about. I'll call Commander Garnett and ask her to escort you to your cabin."

"Thank you, Rachel."

"Oh, and Kara, I won't say anything to Captain Chandler until you make a decision."

Panic rose so quickly that Kara almost hyper-ventilated. The thought of looking Captain Chandler in the eyes and telling him how badly that she had screwed up was horrifying. Kara doubted that the Captain would throw her off the ship immediately, but once they reached a safe harbor, she would certainly be on her own. And what about Danny? If Captain Chandler learned that he was the father, would Danny also be forced to leave the ship, giving him another reason to resent her?

Still, she could hardly keep the pregnancy a secret. The CO wasn't blind. He would eventually notice that her stomach was protruding – assuming that she continued the pregnancy, of course, and didn't take the other option that Rachel was offering.

Kara wasn't sure how long she sat there, motionless, her mind whirling, before the hatch opened and Andrea appeared. She paused by Rachel's desk and the two women had a brief, whispered conversation before the Commander entered the isolation tent.

"Ready sailor?" Andrea's voice was no-nonsense enough to jerk Kara out of her daze. She stood, wobbling slightly until Andrea slid an arm around Kara's waist to steady her.

Stepping into the p-way, the first thing Kara saw were his boots. Her eyes shot up, colliding with a pair of achingly familiar blue-green eyes that looked as shocked as she felt. Kara's heart pounded in her chest as she considered the ramifications of Danny's presence. She instantly dismissed the idea that Rachel had summoned him here. Even if the doctor had figured things out, she would not go behind Kara's back to tell Danny the news. No, he had to be here of his own accord. Had he been waiting for her to leave the helicopter bay? Needing to see for himself that she was okay, much as Kara had felt when Danny had been felled by Dengue Fever? The question was on the tip of her tongue when Danny stepped back against the wall of the corridor with a sharp nod of his head.

"Ma'am. Lieutenant."

His voice was polite, formal, not a hint of relief or concern. Choking back a sob, Kara turned towards her cabin on trembling legs, suspecting that the only reason she was still on her feet was Andrea's arm around her waist. The tiny spark of hope she had felt back in the helicopter bay evaporated.

 _She was in this alone._


	3. Nothing in Life is Free

_Ch. 3 - Nothing in Life is Free_

 _x_

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_.

Danny stood stiffly, back to the corridor wall, his eyes glued to a spot above Kara's head. He had almost given himself away, so focused on getting to Kara and making sure that she was all right that he had somehow missed Commander Garnett's presence, only the flicker of panic in Kara's eyes tipping him off to the fact that they were not alone.

 _Fuck_.

Thank God Kara had her wits about her. The last thing that he needed right now – the last thing that _she_ needed – was to get dragged before the CO for violating the frat rules. From the corner of his eye Danny watched as the two women headed down the p-way, Garnett's arm all that was holding Kara upright.

 _Fuck_.

Danny had been stupidly hoping that Burk's information was wrong – or at least embellished. But from what Danny was seeing, if anything, Miller had downplayed just how sick Kara really was.

 _Three Hours Earlier_

 _Danny was pacing back and forth on the flight deck, something he had been doing a lot of the last few days, when Burk approached._

" _Just saw Tex and Miller. Doctor Scott released them to their cabins but said no PT for another week or so."_

 _Danny didn't bother to hide his sigh of relief, the tension that had gripped him for the past five days loosening slightly. "How do they look?"_

" _Tex was back to his usual self." Burk rolled his eyes and Danny assumed that meant Tex had cracked one of his un-funny jokes. "Miller was kind of antsy, said he was tired of being cooped up. I didn't see Kara. Doctor Scott hasn't released her yet."_

 _And just like that the weight dropped back onto Danny's chest. He kept his voice as steady as possible as he asked, "Why did Doctor Scott keep Foster?"_

" _Miller thought it might have something to do with Kara's seizure," Burk started to explain._

" _Seizure?"_

" _Apparently Kara was running a pretty high fever and it caused a seizure. It took Doctor Scott and Doctor Tophet almost four minutes to get her temperature down. Miller said it was like something out of Alien with her thrashing around."_

 _Danny turned cold at Burk's words. He had known Kara was sick – had seen her there, lying so still on her cot, chest barely moving – but a seizure? Danny was no doctor, but he knew enough about seizures to be certain that nothing about a four-minute seizure was good. Which made Doctor Scott's failure to release Kara with everyone else all the more concerning._

" _I better go check on Tex," Danny said abruptly, heading towards the hatch with the intent of tracking down his roommate and getting some more answers._

Present

 _Fuck._

Danny had been secretly hoping that Burk had gotten it mixed up, and there was some other explanation for Kara's delayed release, but it looked like the intel had been right. Danny tried to remember everything he knew about seizures. Wasn't limb weakness a sign of paralysis? Or was that a stroke?

The need to see Kara, to talk to her, to hold her (assuming she let him anywhere near her) was eating him alive and it took every ounce of Danny's self-control not to run after the two women; to insist that he be the one to help Kara to her cabin, to find out for himself exactly what had happened – and whether she was going to be okay.

 _Fuck_.

But that wasn't going to happen. Even if he managed to get rid of Commander Garnett without raising suspicions (something that wasn't likely given how sharp the engineer was), if the death glares that Granderson had been sending in his direction for the past month were any indication, Kara was just as likely to slam the door in his face as she was to let him help her.

Heading in the opposite direction from Kara and Garnett, Danny stomped towards his cabin. He had been so certain that he was doing the right thing when he ended things after the disaster at Gitmo. Over the last six weeks he had reminded himself over and over again of what might have happened, of all of the reasons that the frat rules existed. He had a mission – they both did – and they couldn't allow themselves to be distracted.

It was only when he had come face-to-face with the possibility of losing her permanently that he had admitted how stupid he had been, thinking that he could turn his emotions off like a tap. He was emotionally involved whether he denied it or not, and she had almost died thinking that he didn't care.

 _Four Days Ago_

 _Danny jogged around the flight deck for the umpteenth time, not bothering to keep track of how many loops he had made, sweat dripping off him in ribbons. He had been at this for so long that even Halsey had abandoned him to lie in a shady spot, lapping up the water that Cruz had thoughtfully provided._

 _Danny knew that his behavior was drawing attention, but he couldn't manage to stay still. Not when Kara was inside that isolation tent and he had no idea what was going on. At least he wasn't the only one who couldn't focus. Burk and Cruz were out here trying to wear themselves out as well, and Nishioka had spent an hour pacing before his shift in CIC._

 _Just then the XO appeared, lifting his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he stepped onto the deck. A crowd immediately gathered, anticipating an update on the vaccine trial. There had been no news for several hours and Danny couldn't decide if that was good – or very, very bad. As soon as he got close enough to see Slattery's face, however, Danny knew that the update they were about to receive was not the one they were hoping for._

 _The XO cleared his throat. "I have news for all of you. Petty Officer Gibson has passed away. Captain Chandler has awarded her the Navy Cross for her bravery in participating in the trial. Services will be held at 0900 tomorrow."_

 _Chung was the one to ask the question on all of their minds. "Then the vaccine doesn't work, sir?"_

" _Doctor Scott is still determining her cause of death. However, given what has happened, anyone who wants a visit with the remaining five volunteers is encouraged to do so. However, you'll have to stay outside of the isolation tent so there is no risk of the virus spreading."_

 _The silence following the XO's statement was deafening, as everyone understood what Slattery was not saying._

 _They were being given the chance to say goodbye._

 _Danny found himself moving towards the converted helicopter bay without conscious thought, trailing Burk and Cruz as they approached the Captain and asked to see Tex and Miller._ _Danny_ _hesitated in the entrance to the lab, taking in the sight before him. Burk and Cruz had moved to stand near Miller's cot and, as Danny watched, Rick managed to raise his hand to bump Carlton's fist through the plastic. Master Chief Jeter lay curled on his side, his Bible held tightly between his hands as Doc Rios injected something into his IV. Andrea lay facing Kara, their hands entwined in the slight space between the cots, Chung standing nearby, hand on the plastic as he spoke to his superior. Tex was the only one who appeared conscious, shaking violently as he huddled in the corner of the tent, his eyes glazed._

 _Involuntarily, Danny's eyes returned to Kara's still form, his stomach heaving as he noticed how deathly pale her skin was – almost as though she were already dead._

 _Danny had thought that he was prepared for the sight, knowing what to expect after the cruise ship and Gitmo. But it was so much worse than he had imagined. Standing there, taking in the still figures, Danny's mind flashed to those last few minutes with Frankie. Helmet off, blood streaking his face, Frankie had been so resigned. So convinced that he was a dead man walking and that nothing could be done to save his life. Danny remembered his desperation when Frankie pulled out his gun, his unwavering belief that if Frankie would just put down the gun that someone, somewhere would have the answer and they could help Frankie, could cure him. And then Doctor Scott had spoken, her words like a death toll._

" _He's been exposed."_

 _For days afterwards Danny had blamed Doctor Scott for what happened next. If she hadn't spoken up, if she hadn't confirmed what Frankie had already known, would he have still pulled the trigger? But now Danny wondered whether Doctor Scott had done Frankie a favor. She had told him the truth – that he was going to die – and had allowed him to make a choice. What was it that Frankie had said?_

" _I'm not all too interested in dying like these people."_

 _Is that what Kara would have chosen, if she had been given the option? Would she have chosen to end her life rather than suffer through such agony._

" _Are you okay son?" Slattery's hand descended into Danny's shoulder, bringing him back to the present and making him aware that he was blocking the door. He stepped to the side to allow the man to pass but Slattery didn't move._

" _Sorry, sir." Danny tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "I was just thinking about Benz."_

 _Slattery nodded, his eyes far too understanding, far too sympathetic. "We've lost too many people. Good people. But we'll beat this. Doctor Scott will find a way."_

" _Yes, sir."_

 _But the response was hollow. Because Danny no longer believed that they could beat this invisible enemy._

 _Unable to bear the compassion in Slattery's eyes, Danny headed towards Tex, allowing him a better view of Kara. But all it did was confirm his worst fears. The blood trickling from her nose. The sores on her forehead. The way Doctor Scott checked Kara first each time she entered the tent, as though she were afraid that this time would be the last. The way Commander Garnett lay so close, almost protectively._

 _Slattery had been wrong. Kara wasn't going to beat this any more than Frankie would have._

 _Danny halted besides Tex, terrified that his legs were about to give out as anguish flooded him. He had spent so much time and energy fighting his feelings, so certain that it was wrong to feel this way, thinking that if he could just keep his distance that these emotions would go away and he could focus on his job, on the mission._

 _But he had been lying to himself._

 _Six weeks of avoiding her and ignoring her hadn't made a bit of difference._ _Because he was still completely and hopelessly in love with her._

" _She's not dead yet."_

 _The unexpected words shocked Danny and his gaze jerked to Tex, who stared at him, breath labored. "Tex?"_

" _KFC without the C. She's a fighter. She won't give up."_

 _Danny's gut twisted. Was that really what he wanted? For Kara's agony to be prolonged? At least with Frankie, death had been instant._

" _Quincy!" Every face turned as Doctor Scott burst into the room. "Microcellular inflammation, oxidative stress, immune vascular dysfunction. And Bertrise... always sick when she was a kid and yet immune to this. How could I have missed it?"_

 _Heart pounding, Danny looked back and forth between the Captain and Doctor Scott as the doctor began to suit up, her explanation of what she was doing far too complicated for Danny's frantic mind to understand. But what he could comprehend was the glimmer of hope in Captain Chandler's eyes. Glancing back at Kara, Danny watched as she struggled through another breath._

 _Praying that it wouldn't be her last._

 _Praying that Doctor Scott was right._

 _Praying that he would get another chance._

 _Because he didn't know what he would do if anything happened to her._


	4. A Sweet Friendship Refreshes the Soul

_Ch. 4 -_ _A sweet friendship refreshes the soul – Proverbs 27:9_

 _x_

Andrea helped Kara onto the lower bunk. Although it was actually Alisha's bed, Kara didn't feel strong enough to climb up to the top bunk and she figured that Alisha wouldn't mind.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Andrea asked, her unease about leaving Kara alone evident. "If there's anything you want to talk about..."

"I appreciate that Command, er, Andrea. But I am going to try to sleep for a bit."

The lie rolled easily off Kara's tongue. She knew that if Andrea stayed she was going to end up spilling her guts – and that would be a disaster. Because no matter what Andrea had said earlier about being friends, as soon as the engineer learned about Kara's condition, she would be duty-bound to report it to Captain Chandler and any chance that Kara had of keeping this under wraps would go up in smoke. Thankfully Andrea didn't push the issue, leaving with the promise of having some food sent over.

The instant the door closed behind the engineer, reality kicked in and Kara let out a sob.

 _She was pregnant._

The logical course of action would be to accept Rachel's help and end the pregnancy before anyone was the wiser. To focus on the mission. Kara could still hear the Captain's words to the crew the day that they visited Rachel's laboratory, days after Danny collapsed from Dengue Fever.

" _Because this mission's not about me, and it's not about you. It's about them."_

Truer words had never been spoken. It was her job – _her duty_ – as a member of the United States Navy to place her own needs and wants secondary. That was what Captain Chandler had done when he turned the ship away from the United States coast, prioritizing the development of the vaccine over the safety of his wife and children. It was what Commanders Slattery and Garnett and Barker had done when they chose to remain on the Nathan James rather than return to the families who waited for them at home. It was what Frankie had done when he shot himself rather than risk infecting others. It was even what Danny had done when he ended their relationship before it put anyone else in jeopardy.

 _Given all of their sacrifices, how could she ask any less of herself?_

But, unbidden, an image of a little girl with straw-colored pigtails and blue-green eyes flashed through Kara's mind, followed swiftly by a little boy with spiky chestnut hair who grinned at her in an all too familiar manner. Or maybe a little girl with stick straight mahogany hair and a sun-kissed face, or a little boy with who inherited Kara's nose scrunch, the one that Danny used to insist on kissing.

Kara's hand crept to her stomach, eyes drifting closed as she marveled over the idea that there was a little person growing in there. You would never know by looking at her. If anything, Kara had lost weight since Gitmo. She thought back to the past several weeks, wondering if there had been some clue that she missed. She had not had her period, obviously, but since the Nathan James had been floating in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean with no water at the time, its absence had not triggered any particular concern. As for other signs, there was nothing that Kara could identify even now. She had been exhausted, certainly, but so had everyone else, the long days and strain of keeping a constant eye out for the Russians taking their toll on all of them.

Still, she should have known. Growing up as the only child of a single mother, Kara had been determined not to repeat her mother's mistakes. The day she turned sixteen she had hitched a ride to the closest Planned Parenthood, over an hour away, and put herself on the birth control shot. She had been equally diligent since, only allowing her birth control to lapse when she was out to sea for long periods – like they had been in the Arctic – and there had been no need for it.

 _And now here she was, in the exact same place that her mother had been twenty-seven years ago._

For the first time, Kara wondered what Debbie had done when she realized that she was pregnant, weeks after becoming a widow at the ripe old age of twenty. If anything, Debbie had been in a worse spot that Kara. An orphan with no education and no job, Debbie had learned that she was pregnant days after losing her husband of only a month to a car accident. Yet Debbie had told Kara innumerable times that becoming a mother was the best thing that had ever happened to her, her love and devotion to her only child indisputable.

That wasn't to say, however, that Kara's formative years had been easy. Debbie's alcohol abuse had cast a long shadow, leading to lost jobs and evictions and nine different homes in eighteen years. The problem had only become worse after Kara's grandfather, who could be relied on for regular financial assistance and had allowed his daughter-in-law and granddaughter to stay at his farm whenever they needed or wanted to do so, passed away when Kara was fourteen. The loss of her father-in-law had left Debbie with no support system, and her response had been to spend more and more time at her favorite dive bar. Upon being accepted to the Naval Academy three years later, Kara had been more than happy to kick the Kansas dust off of her feet and move to Maryland.

 _It certainly wasn't the kind of life that Kara wanted for her child._

And wasn't that what she was really afraid of? Not of telling Danny or telling Captain Chandler or finding a place to live or somewhere to work? But that the pressure of being a parent would be too much and she, like her mother, would turn to a bottle? That she would hurt her own child in the same way that Debbie, no matter how much she loved her daughter, had hurt Kara?

The sound of the door swinging open startled Kara and her eyes shot open, only to relax when she saw that it was Alisha.

"Captain Chandler cut my shift short and asked me to bring you some food," Alisha explained as she deposited the tray that she was carrying on the bed next to Kara, not commenting on the fact that Kara had taken over Alisha's bunk without asking.

Kara's stomach growled at the sight of the chicken noodle soup and cornbread with butter. She reached for a slice of the cornbread, appreciating the fact that it was still warm. "It smells delicious."

"Compliments of Bacon," Alisha replied, plopping down at the foot of the bunk. "I missed you like crazy this week. There was nobody to talk to except Gator and Chung, and I can only tolerate their earnestness for so long. Thank goodness things are getting back to normal. Well, middle-of-the-apocalypse-stuck-on-a-Naval-destroyer normal anyway."

Dropping the cornbread back to the tray, Kara pressed her hand to her mouth in a useless effort to hold back a sob. _As if anything would ever be normal again_.

"Hey, are you in pain?" Alisha leaned forward to grasp Kara's hand. "Do you need me to get you something?"

"No, it's not that," Kara managed to gasp through the tears that were now streaming down her face. "It's just ...I'm pregnant."

Kara felt a giggle bubble up inside her when Alisha's mouth actually fell open, her eyes wide as saucers.

"You're _what?_ "

"Pregnant. You know? That thing where there's a small person growing inside of you?"

Alisha sputtered. "But I thought you and Danny weren't…"

"Yeah, well, I made a stupid spur-of-the-moment decision and voila." Kara indicated her mid-section.

"Wow. That's …. wow."

That time Kara did giggle, grabbing a napkin off the tray in order to dry her eyes. "I know. It's absurd. We're in the middle of Armageddon and I decide to make things even more complicated."

"What did Danny say?" Alisha asked, finally recovering enough to complete a full sentence.

"I haven't told him," Kara admitted. "I keep thinking that the smart thing to do would be to terminate. Rachel said she could help me but..."

"But that's not what you want to do." Alisha concluded.

Kara smiled sadly. "No, I don't. But you know as well as I do how bad things are out there. How can I bring a child into that? And, if I did, how could I take care of a child? I couldn't stay on the ship, not with a baby, but I have no idea where we would go or how I would support us."

"You should talk to Danny," Alisha said firmly. "He could help you. He _should_ help you. He's the reason that you are in this mess to begin with."

"I got myself into this mess," Kara countered, unwilling to shirk her own responsibility.

Alisha snorted. "Pretty sure it takes two, honey."

Kara fiddled with her napkin, fresh tears rolling down her face as she recalled the way Danny had steadfastly refused to make eye contact as she left the helicopter bay this morning. "Can you believe how pathetic I am? He can't stand the sight of me and I'm wondering if our baby will look like him."

Alisha scooted forward on the bed to wrap an arm around Kara's shoulders. "You aren't pathetic, Kara. You are what's right with this world. You loved him – you still love him. He's the idiot who let you go."

Tears threatened to overflow again as Kara turned to Alisha. "Have I mentioned recently what a good friend you are, Lisha?"

"You haven't but don't worry, I know," Alisha replied smartly. She passed Kara a fresh napkin. "Anyway, forget about Danny. Focus on you and your baby and the life you are going to make for her."

"I just don't know if I can do this alone," Kara admitted.

"You aren't alone. You have me."

"You mean I have you until the Captain kicks me off the ship," Kara said with a snort.

"Captain Chandler wouldn't do that," Alisha replied, frowning.

"Not right away. But I can't keep a baby on a destroyer. Sooner or later I'm going to have to find somewhere else to go."

"Well then I'll go with you," Alisha replied. "My enlistment is up anyway. I wasn't even supposed to be on the Nathan James. I was supposed to finish up my last six months in Providence at a desk job."

"I don't want to ruin your life that way, Lisha," Kara said softly. "This is my problem, not yours."

Alisha gave Kara an unimpressed look. "You're my best friend Kara. Your problems _are_ my problems. Besides, you aren't ruining anything. Everyone I know is probably dead, my mother and Sarah included. But we have each other, and this baby gives us something good to look forward to. My first goddaughter."

Overwhelmed by Alisha's sincerity, her generosity, Kara had to clear her throat twice before she could speak. "Why couldn't I fall in love with you?"

"Well, for one thing, you aren't my type," Alisha replied, causing both women to laugh.

Kara finished drying her face and blew her nose before something else occurred to her. "By the way, what makes you think it's a girl?"

Alisha rolled her eyes. "Wishful thinking. Given who the father is, God help us if it's a boy."


	5. Hope without Love is Hopeless

_Ch. 5 - Hope without Love is Hopeless – Dejan Stojanovic_

 _x_

Kara dragged herself into the wardroom, wishing by all that was holy that she could curl up in her rack and sleep for the next twelve hours. She was only halfway though her shift in CIC and was already completely worn out. Of course, it didn't help that Barker's cologne was driving her absolutely crazy; her newfound sense of smell apparently a fun side effect of being pregnant.

Kara closed her eyes as she set the plate of french fries and grilled cheese on the table before her, thankful that she had arrived here late enough that she had the room to herself. Her stomach had been completely erratic since her return to duty and Kara had learned to give things a few seconds to settle before taking another bite. Fortunately everybody had accepted that her sensitive stomach was a residual side effect of the vaccine, and she had received only sympathy on the two occasions when she had gone barreling out of the room without warning.

Grease seemed to settle best, which is why her plate was currently filled with things that Alisha would surely disapprove of. Kara found herself smiling at the thought of her bunk mate. Alisha had jumped headfirst into the idea of parenthood. She had already begun thinking of items that they would need when the baby arrived, as well as brainstorming options of where they might go. Rachel had provided invaluable assistance on that front as well, pointing out that any laboratory capable of manufacturing the vaccine would also require people proficient in computers and communications equipment to help spread it. She had little doubt that Kara and Alisha's skill sets would be well-received were they to remain with her at Fort Detrick.

Alisha had also floated the idea of trying to find their mothers. Based on what Alisha had told her about Amy Granderson, Kara could understand why Alisha wanted to look for the woman. Not only was Alisha close to her mother, but Mrs. Granderson was highly connected in politics and the military and might be able to help them get set up, assuming she had survived, of course. Kara, on the other hand, had no intention of going to Norfolk to look for her mother until she had found a new place to settle. Debbie Foster tended to focus on the negative under the best of circumstances. Given the pandemic and Kara's impending departure from the Nathan James, she anticipated that Debbie would see the pregnancy as a catastrophe.

Kara had finished most of the fries on her plate and half of her sandwich before the door to the wardroom opened again. Glancing up, she froze, seeing the one person above all others who she would have preferred to avoid right now.

 _Danny Green._

"Lieutenant." Danny actually addressed her, which was unusual, but Kara assumed it was because Gator was on his heels, coming in to get more coffee.

"Lieutenants." Kara returned her attention to her plate and pretended to be engrossed in her food. Fortunately, Danny was as likely to ignore her as she was to ignore him, so there wouldn't be any awkward conversation. Unfortunately, he had decided to add mayonnaise to his turkey and tomato sandwich, and it was making Kara second-guess her decision to eat anything today. Occupied by the effort not to vomit, Kara didn't notice Danny's approach until he pulled out the chair across from her.

"I heard you had been released back to duty. How are you feeling?"

Kara looked up, startled, but assumed that this display of concern was related to Gator's presence. "Yes, my third day back. I've been working with Lieutenant Granderson to gain access to the Air Force's satellite system."

"I heard that Fort Detrick was a no-go."

"You heard right." Kara shook her head. The destruction of the lab at Fort Detrick had been a blow. "Captain is thinking Providence next."

"Makes sense." Danny took a bite of his sandwich. "When will the pass-by be?"

It struck Kara that this was the perfect opportunity to tell him about the pregnancy. Not here, of course, but Rachel would undoubtedly let them use the lab so that they could have some privacy. Kara nibbled on her lip, trying to decide if she should speak up now or wait until she had a firm plan for the future in place, just in case Danny's first move was to tell Captain Chandler and she got booted off the ship.

"In about two hours," Kara explained, her eyes drawn to Danny's mouth as his tongue flicking out to snag a crumb stuck to the corner of his lip. Warmth pooled in Kara's lower abdomen as she recalled the way his tongue had felt as it burned a trail across her stomach, his grin devilish as he informed her that the first time had been merely the warm-up. Shivers tickled their way across her abdomen and Kara could feel her breasts swelling as memories assailed her, memories of how he had leisurely explored every inch of her front side before rolling her over to lavish her back with the same treatment. By the time he finished she had been begging him to end the torture, her body so primed that she shattered around him after only a single thrust. Kara's fingers tightened on the remains of her sandwich as she fought the urge to throw herself across the table, to bury her fingers in his hair, and capture his mouth in a greedy kiss.

"Kara? Are you okay?"

Kara's face was flaming, her embarrassment intensified by Danny's look of genuine concern. Had she really just been caught fantasizing about him in the _wardroom_?

"Sorry, just spaced. What did you say?" She mumbled.

Danny didn't meet her eyes when he spoke, his words jumbled together as though he were nervous. "I was hoping that maybe we could talk later. Just the two of us, I mean. About ... stuff."

"I..." Kara did some quick calculations "I'm back on duty in ten but I should be done by 2000 if you're free."

Before Danny could respond, Alisha burst into the wardroom. "Kara!" Her excitement dimmed a bit when she saw who Kara was talking to, shooting Danny an icy glare, but continued speaking anyway. "We made contact with a lab in Baltimore! And you'll never believe who was there. My mother."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You know this means right?" Alisha whispered as she dragged Kara off towards CIC.

"I have a place to go," Kara replied, her relief palpable.

" _We_ have a place to go, Kara," Alisha corrected.

"You didn't say anything to her, did you?" Kara whispered, suddenly panicked about how quickly it was all happening. They were less than two days from Baltimore. Two days to tell Captain Chandler.

Two days to tell Danny.

"Of course not," Alisha scoffed. "I promised you that I wouldn't tell anyone and I haven't. But my mother can help us. If she asks us to stay in Baltimore to help spread the cure, Captain Chandler can't say no. You might not even need to tell him why you are leaving."

As tempted as she was to take the offered out, to keep her secrets, Kara shook her head. "Captain Chandler has been good to me. I screwed things up enough already. I need to tell him. Get this out in the open."

Alisha considered Kara for a moment before she nodded, accepting Kara's decision without comment. "Okay, then tell me what the putz was saying to you in the wardroom."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was almost 2230 before Kara had an opportunity to ask the Captain for a private word. She had been hoping to catch him at the end of her shift before she spoke with Danny, but Slattery had asked her to stay late and work on some of the communications equipment before they hit Baltimore, giving her no opportunity to do either. Mrs. Granderson had mentioned that they were having trouble with local warlords jamming their signals, and the Captain and XO wanted to make sure that the landing teams wouldn't be cut off from the ship. Seeing her exhaustion, Captain Chandler had suggested meeting first thing in the morning, a thoughtful gesture that had left Kara tossing and turning all night.

She anxiously straightened her uniform before knocking on the door.

"Lieutenant, at ease." Captain Chandler motioned for her to sit, an action no doubt prompted by concern over her recent illness. Kara had noticed both the Captain and XO keeping tabs on her since her return to duty, making sure that she took breaks and ate regularly, something she had felt guilty about given that they were unaware of the real reason that she had not bounced back as quickly as the others. "What can I do for you?"

Kara drew herself up as best as she could. "I need to apprise you of a change in my personal circumstances, sir. I'm pregnant."

The ten seconds that Captain Chandler spent staring at her silently, eyes boring into her until she felt like a bug under a microscope, were the longest of Kara's life.

"I see." Captain Chandler crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair, the disapproval rolling off him in waves. "And when did you discover this pregnancy? I assume that you were not in this condition when we left Norfolk seven months ago?"

If she hadn't been so embarrassed by the entire situation, Kara would have found the biting sarcasm amusing. "Doctor Scott discovered that I was pregnant when she was running tests during the vaccine trial. I'm approximately two months along, sir."

Turning away, Captain Chandler picked up his phone, speaking briskly to the person on the other end. "Please have someone escort Doctor Scott to my office immediately."

 _Shit._ Kara hadn't expected the Captain to bring Doctor Scott into this meeting. It was certainly an indication that he was not taking the news well.

"It hasn't escaped my notice that you are here on your own Lieutenant. Should I expect the other party to present himself in my office later today?"

This is the part of the conversation that Kara had been dreading. She knew the Captain would be furious, but she wouldn't - she couldn't - turn Danny in. Not when he had broken things off at the first sign that their relationship might endanger the ship and crew. Not when he had made it abundantly clear that the mission was his highest priority. She would not be responsible for casting doubt on his loyalty, his dedication. "He's not involved, sir."

"I see." Captain Chandler leaned forward. "How long have you been aboard my ship, Lieutenant?"

"Four years, sir," Kara replied, trying desperately to keep her composure.

"After four years under my watch, I trusted you to have better judgment. You took an oath, Lieutenant. You took an oath to follow certain rules, rules designed to keep everyone on this ship safe. Now I find out that, not only have you flaunted those rules, but you are refusing to name your partner in crime. How am I supposed to trust you again? How are the people out there supposed to trust you?"

Kara flinched under harsh, but accurate, scolding. "I'm sorry that I let you down, sir."

Rachel chose that unfortunate moment to walk through the door. Captain Chandler's eyes flickered to her. "Doctor Scott. Perhaps you can tell me why I just learned that one of my officers is pregnant and that _you_ have been sitting on this information for almost two weeks."

Captain Chandler's tone was biting, but Rachel was not the type of woman to be easily cowed. "I am unable to discuss anything regarding a patient's health with you without permission, Captain Chandler. I am sure you are familiar with the concept of doctor-patient confidentiality. In addition, I understand that there are guidelines setting forth the timeline for a pregnant sailor to disclose her condition. What are those guidelines again?"

"Disclosure must occur within fourteen days," the CO replied shortly.

"Then best I can tell, Captain Chandler, no violations have occurred. Lieutenant Foster elected to wait to speak with you until we determined whether the pregnancy was viable. A decision that I concurred with."

Captain Chandler's face flickered for an instant before he turned back to Kara. "Do you have anything else that you would like to discuss with me, Lieutenant?"

If anything, this was even harder than telling him that she was pregnant. "Yes, sir. Assuming that the lab in Baltimore is safe and Doctor Scott elects to stay, I am requesting a transfer to shore duty in order to assist her in spreading the cure."

"As you probably know, you are entitled to such under Naval regulations," Captain Chandler said with a nod. He stood. "Come along."

Kara stood as well, puzzled. "Sir?"

"I think your comrades in CIC deserve to know why you will no longer be assisting them on this mission, Lieutenant Foster. Don't you?"


	6. When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

_Ch. 6 - When One Door Closes, Another Door Opens_

x

Danny was eating his meatloaf as slowly as possible in the hope that Kara would enter the wardroom. Up in the Arctic, he had often waited up on deck until Kara's shift was done, the frigid air driving most people inside the ship, and offering a bit of privacy. Although Alisha had interrupted them yesterday before they could make firm plans, he had assumed that was where Kara would look for him, which is why he had hung around the deck until after 2100, using Halsey as an excuse for his presence. He had later heard through Tex that she had been CIC well past the end of her shift, and she had been hustling down the p-way towards the bridge when he stopped by the wardroom after morning PT, giving him no opportunity to talk to her. Rationally, Danny knew that she was most likely busy this morning. With Baltimore only a day away, everybody was in overdrive trying to prepare for whatever awaited them. But a tiny piece of him couldn't help but wonder if it was deliberate. If, once she thought about it, she hadn't _wanted_ to hear what he had to say. If it was just too late.

"Hey guys, did you hear the news?" Wright asked as he settled into the seat across from Danny and Carlton.

Danny arched an eyebrow at the man while Carlton ignored him. Wright always tried to oversell his information, which was never much juicier than who was hiding chocolate in their cabin. That said, he did work in CIC and therefore might be able to tell Danny what Kara was working on and when she would be on break, assuming Danny was willing to tolerate his know-it-all attitude.

"Nope, what's up?" Danny asked as casually as possible, ignoring the incredulous look that Carlton gave him. Obviously the other man was hoping that Wright would clear out and was less than happy that Danny was encouraging him.

"Foster's pregnant."

The chunk of meatloaf that Danny had just placed in his mouth flew across the room. Carlton snorted as he wacked Danny on the back. "Good one Wright. You got Green here. By his reaction you would think that he was the dad."

Danny glared at Wright, cursing himself for being such an easy mark. Things like that were going to get both him and Kara in trouble. Maybe trying to meet up with her sometime today wasn't a good idea after all. It might be better to wait until they were in Baltimore, when people wouldn't be watching her so carefully, making sure that she wasn't overdoing it after being so sick. "Not funny, Wright."

"Seriously guys. CO escorted her into CIC himself right at the start of my shift." Wright took a bite of his potatoes.

"He's not actually full of shit this time," Gator said, although he still shot Wright an icy glare. "CO confirmed it."

Danny stared at the man, unable to utter a single sound, his mind fixated on the news that Kara was pregnant.

"She didn't say who the dad was," Wright added. "Kind of makes you wonder. Foster spends a lot of time with Barker. He's got a wife back home so he'd be in major shit if he knocked her up. I can see her covering for him."

"There's no way Foster slept with a married guy," Burk replied with a snort. "So stop spreading rumors."

There was a slight pause in the conversation while everybody considered the news, and considered how many of the guys on the ship were single. Danny knew the answer to that question because he and Frankie had counted one time. Eight-seven.

Well, eight-seven if you counted Benz, Berchem, Smith and Cossetti.

"Got something you want to confess, _Lieutenant_?" Wright asked, his tone crossing the line into full- on disrespect. Danny's head shot up only to realize that Wright was talking to Carlton.

"Ask that again and you'll find yourself running laps until we arrive in Baltimore," Carlton replied calmly, but there was an edge of steel in his voice that assured everybody present that he was completely serious.

Danny felt Burk turn and look at him, and he wondered if Kara had told the man what was going on. Danny knew the two of them were tight but, unlike Alisha, Burk's attitude towards Danny hadn't seemed to change after Gitmo. Of course, Danny hadn't really interacted with Burk until they began jointly training the crew for possible land incursions. For all Danny knew, the man had hated him from the get-go.

"My vote is Benz or Berchem," Gator said after a slight pause, his effort to break tension obvious. "Otherwise the guy would have gone with her to talk to the Captain, right? Unless he was dead?"

Jolted by Gator's comment, Danny realized that the man was right. He _should_ have been there with Kara to talk to the Captain. And he would have been. He wouldn't have made her do that alone. So why hadn't she told him? Had she not wanted him there for some reason?

"Wasn't Berchem enlisted?" Chung asked uneasily, and every eye swung towards Danny. Even though Kara hadn't had direct command over Steve, everyone here understood the line between officers and enlisted, and the suggestion that Kara had crossed that line seemed almost more shocking than the news that she was pregnant to Chung.

Fortunately, Burk came to Danny's rescue - again. "The guy is dead. Show a little respect."

"Whatever you say," Wright retorted as he picked up his tray, no doubt moving on to more willing audience.

Burk shook his head as Wright left the wardroom, probably on his way to the mess in the hope of finding a more receptive audience. "Foster's smart. I'm sure that once someone besides Wright talks to her we'll get the real story."

Burk's tone made it clear that the topic was finished, something that Danny was immensely thankful for. His mind was spinning and he couldn't seem to focus on anything. And then, abruptly, it all crystallized.

 _He was going to have a kid…_

As soon as the thought formed, Danny made the horrifying realization that Kara had been pregnant the vaccine trial. And suddenly it all clicked.

 _Why Kara had seemed so much sicker than the others._

 _The seizure._

 _Doctor Scott keeping her behind when the others were released._

 _Her lingering symptoms - the exhaustion, the nausea - which hadn't been caused by the virus at all._

It all made sense now. Kara couldn't have known she was pregnant, or she would never have volunteered for the trial. Doctor Scott must have discovered it while she was sick. What _didn't_ make sense was why Kara hadn't told him. He could understand that the wardroom yesterday might have been too public for that type of conversation, but she'd had a week to track him down. Unless, Danny realized with a sinking feeling, she didn't plan for him to be a part of this baby's life at all. Unless she wasn't willing to give him another chance after what had happened at Gitmo.

 _Eight weeks ago_

 _Danny snapped out of his daze when Kara's hands began undoing the buckle to his belt. He knew that he should stop her now, before things got even more out of hand. As Kara had once noted, there was breaking the rules and there was blowing them out of the water – and this was blowing them out of the water. But hadn't Frankie followed the rules? Done exactly what the CO and Doctor Scott had said? Followed his training to the letter? And where had gotten him?_

 _Dead._

 _Just like Danny would be. Maybe not tomorrow or the day after or the day after that, but sometime soon he would get infected, killed by an invisible pathogen for which he had no defense._ _So why deny himself this now? Why follow the rules when being with her was the only thing that made him feel alive anymore?_

 _Danny drew in a sharp breath as Kara undid his zipper, one hand slipping under the elastic of his boxers to encircle him, her hand stroking him from base to tip. Danny bit his lip to suppress a groan, well aware that the walls of the cabin were paper thin. His head dropped back against his locker as she continued stroking, her touch alternatively firm and light as a feather, until his hips were rocking against her hand of their own volition._

 _The last five months had been torture – watching her walk by and not being able to touch her, listening to the guys talk about her boobs and ass without comment, planning for hours to coordinate five minutes alone. He had fantasized about Kara doing exactly what she was doing right now from the moment he met her, but the fantasy couldn't hold a candle to the reality of her actually touching him, stroking him, driving him to the edge of his control with just her hand._

 _Even though every inch of his body was screaming to take what she was offering, to pick her up and sink into her heat, Danny dropped his hand to cover hers, stopping her movement and drawing her hand out of his shorts. Three deep breaths later, he had regained enough control to open his eyes, meeting her gaze directly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"_

 _Kara stared back him and then her hands rose to cup his cheeks and she reached up to kiss him sweetly, gently – almost chastely. "This is exactly what I want."_

 _And just like that his resistance crumbled._

 _Danny yanked Kara against him, cupping her ass and lifting her until her barely covered core was pressed firmly against his erection. She groaned, her head falling backwards as he ground against her, one hand sliding up her back to unsnap her bra, which she quickly disposed of. Lifting her slightly, he licked across one pebbled nipple, drawing a gasp from Kara as she wrapped her legs more firmly around his waist, her lower body rocking rhythmically against him. While he nibbled and licked along her breasts, he slid a hand between their bodies to stroke her through the black granny panties that she was wearing, knowing that he wasn't going to last long. She buried her face in his shoulder, her entire body arching as he ducked his fingers under the material to stroke her softly, feeling how wet, how ready, she was._

 _He stumbled across the cabin, ducking to set her on the bunk before drawing her last piece of clothing down long, slender legs and then setting to work on his boots and pants. He was so focused on getting his boots unlaced that it took a minute before he noticed that she had lifted herself up on her elbows to watch watch him. He froze, unable to tear his eyes away as he took in the sight of her – cheeks flushed, lips parted, breasts lifting as she panted slightly. Then she cocked her head to the side, biting down on her lower lip almost nervously._

" _Are you planning on joining me?"_

 _Ducking down, Danny pressed a kiss against her quivering stomach before stretching out over her, holding himself up on his elbows as he stared into her hazel eyes, feeling as though he needed to say something, to tell her how beautiful she was, how perfect. But before he could find the words, Kara was wrapping her arms around his back and pulling him down to her. He lowered his head to nibble along her neck as he sank onto her, every inch of their bodies touching. With a groan, Kara wrapped her legs around his waist, opening herself even more. He could feel her trembling as he slid into her slick heat, pausing for a moment to let her adjust before he began to move, carefully at first to make sure he didn't hurt her, until she was twisted up against him demanding more. Sliding a hand down her back he cupped her ass to angle her hips so that he could go deeper, drawing a low groan. "Oh god, just like that, please don't stop."_

 _The sound of her voice, the soft whimpers that she was attempting to muffle, was driving him crazy and Danny began to lose the rhythm, one hand returning to Kara's breast to tweak her nipple. The extra stimulation shot her over the edge, and Danny didn't need any incentive to follow as her body convulsed around him. Burying his face in her shoulder to muffle his own shout, Danny emptied himself into her._

 _And in that instant, lying there with Kara, Danny swore that he could see his entire life laid out before him. He could imagine introducing her to his family. He could imagine standing at the altar with her. He could imagine kissing her goodbye when he left for deployment, and kissing her hello when he returned. He could imagine her pregnant with his baby. He could see the two of them sitting on the porch together, watching as their children frolicked in the yard. He could even imagine retiring with her to a small beach cottage where they could watch the tide. The images were so strong that Danny barely managed to bite back the words that were on the tip of his tongue._

 _I love you._

Present

Splitting from Burk, Danny found himself heading towards CIC, thankful that he had scheduled the training sessions to avoid the mid-day heat and thereby giving himself a couple hours of free time. There was no way that he could focus on anything until he talked to Kara directly. He was trying to think up a plausible excuse to get her out of the CIC when the stars aligned, and he saw her approaching with Barker. Just before they saw him, Barker split off, leaving Kara headed in his direction alone. Danny slipped into a supply closet, waited silently until she walked by, yanking her into the small space without warning.

She stiffened, mouth opening instinctively to cry out, before she realized who it was. Her mouth snapped closed, eyes flashing in annoyance. Danny put a finger to her lips to stop her from speaking, the sound of approaching feet tipping him off. As they waited, silently, for whoever it was to pass, Danny couldn't help but notice how small the closet was. They were only inches apart, the heat from her body soaking into him, and he wanted nothing more than to sink into her until they were melded together. Their breathing sounded loud in the enclosed space and Danny found his eyes dropping to the finger that he had used to keep her silent, lightly stroking across her bottom lip until her breath caught. His gaze rose to meet hers, both of them simply staring. Slowly, keeping eye contact the entire time, Danny leaned in until their lips touched. After a moment one of Kara's hands rose to his hair to tug him closer, letting out a soft sigh as the kiss deepened. Sliding his hand behind her neck, he fought the urge to press her against the wall of the small enclosure, struggling to keep the kiss light.

It was several minutes before Danny pulled back, forehead resting again Kara's, their breath mingling. One hand dropped to her stomach, sweeping his fingers across the flat plane. "I heard a rumor that you were..." Danny couldn't bring himself to say the word. "That you were having a baby."

Kara turned her head, eyes dropping from his. "It's true."

 _He was really going to be a father._

Danny stared at Kara, a sense of elation flooding him, followed almost immediately by total confusion and a bit of anger. "Why didn't you tell me? I had to find out from _Wright_."

"I was going to..." Kara paused. "I didn't know how you would react."

Danny stared at her in the dim light, wishing that he could see her better, read her face better, her statement only adding to his confusion. She wasn't sure how he would _react?_ The way she kept looking away from him reminded him of that night after they had left Gitmo, when he had mentioned _why_ the frat rules existed. Like she felt guilty. But why would she feel guilty, unless…

"It is mine, isn't it?"


	7. There is neither good or bad, but thinki

_Ch. 7 – "There is neither good or bad, but thinking makes it so." –William Shakespeare_

 _x_

"He said _what_?" Alisha hissed, managing to look shocked and furious at the same time. Kara glanced towards the door, thankful that it remained closed. Mason was on a coffee break and Kara was using the opportunity to fill Alisha in on what had happened earlier that afternoon. Kara herself had no intention of leaving the room until it was time to head to her bunk. The last thing she wanted to do right now was to run into Danny. Not now, when her emotions were in such chaos.

"He asked who the father was," she repeated with a sigh.

"Just like that? Flat out?" Alisha demanded.

"Well no, he didn't say those words. He said something like it is mine, right?"

 _Three hours earlier_

" _It is mine, isn't it?"_

 _Kara stared at Danny, her brain unable to process the words that she had just heard. And when she finally realized that she hadn't somehow misunderstood him – that he had really just asked if he was the father – fury welled up in her. For the past two weeks she had been twisting herself up in knots trying to decide what to do, worrying about how all of this would impact HIM. Worrying about whether he wanted to be a father. Worrying about what this would do to his career. Worrying about what this would do to them, if there was a "them" left. And the first thing that he said when she told him that she was pregnant? Right after he kissed her? While he still had a hand wrapped around her neck?_

 _He asked who the father was._

 _Jerking herself away, Kara glared at him. "Exactly how many guys do you think I had sex with in the past two months?"_

 _Even in the dim light she could see the panic on his face, the wheels spinning as he realized how upset she was and immediately try to backpedal. "That wasn't what I meant, I mean, that came out wrong."_

Present

"Hmmm, well that isn't quite as bad," Alisha replied after mulling it over.

Kara choked. Alisha had made no secret about how disgusted she was over Danny's behavior since Gitmo, barely tolerating being in the same room as him. And now she was _defending_ him? That was not the reaction Kara had expected. "Really? How?"

"Green is about as sensitive as a rock," Alisha said bluntly. "He was bound to say _something_ asinine. And that sounds more like he was freaking out and in a bit of denial. Not that different from you, really."

Kara tried to consider Danny's words from that perspective, and she could see Alisha's point. Danny did appear shell-shocked when he yanked her into the storage closet. She hadn't considered the possibility that he would hear the news from somebody else – and Wright was probably the worse person possible given his taste for dramatics. Still, Kara couldn't get over the fact that he had actually asked her if it was his.

As thought she had so much as looked at another man since they met.

"Maybe," she said grudgingly.

"Don't get me wrong. I hope you gave him a good knee to the groin for being such an idiot," Alisha added. "But it could have been worse. What did he say next?"

 _Three hours ago_

" _Well, what did you mean?"_

 _Danny tossed his hands out, hitting the wall in the process. "I don't know. I was eating lunch when Wright came in. I thought it was a joke! And now you're telling me it's true and I don't know what to think. Why didn't tell me?"_

" _I didn't think you would want a baby," she snapped back, refusing to back down._

" _What would make you think that?" He sounded genuinely bewildered._

 _Kara stared at him, dumbfounded. After what he had said at Gitmo? About staying away from him? About the mission? Tears burned in the back of her eyes._

" _Let me see. It might have something to do with the fact that you told me to stay away from you and then ignored me for six weeks," she hissed._

 _She thought she saw a flash of comprehension in Danny's eyes, but Kara was past the point of caring. She couldn't deal with this right now – not after the horrible conversation with Captain Chandler this morning followed by hours in CIC pretending not to notice the whispers, the averted glances. It was all too much. Without bothering to check whether the pathway was empty she burst out of the storage room and headed down the corridor, confident that Danny wouldn't follow her. After all, there was nothing more important to him than keeping his precious secrets._

" _Kara stop," Danny's voice was quiet but commanding as he grabbed her elbow, spinning her around._

" _Let. Go. Of. Me. Right. Now." Every word was enunciated perfectly, her voice glacial, and something finally clued Danny in to the fact that she was beyond furious. He released her elbow immediately._

" _I get that you are upset with me," Danny spoke urgently. "But we need to figure this out and do what's best for the baby."_

Present

"That all sounds good," Alisha said, sounding somewhat confused. "He didn't ask you to get rid of the baby or accuse you of ruining his career or anything. It sounds like he wants to help."

Kara glanced over at Alisha. "He wants to help with the _baby._ "

"Oh," Alisha's eyes softened. "He's the idiot who chased you away, Kara. He doesn't deserve you. Besides, you'll find somebody else. Somebody better. And until then you have me."

Kara found herself tearing up. _What would she do without Alisha?_ "Pinky swear?"

Alisha rolled her eyes but immediately took the offered finger. "Pinky swear."

The two women quickly separated as the door opened and Mason entered juggling three cups of coffee. After accepting her mug, Alisha turned back to Kara and asked under her breath. "How did you get rid of him?"

 _Three hours ago_

 _The sound of footsteps had them stepping away from each other out of habit. Danny's voice dropped. "Can we talk about this later? Come find me when your shift is over. Please."_

" _There's nothing to discuss," Kara began, but held her hand up when she saw that Danny was about to argue. "Fine. Later."_

 _His shoulders relaxed as he nodded. "I'll be on deck."_

 _Ignoring him, Kara smiled brightly at the approaching officer. "Perfect timing, Lieutenant Nishioka. Lieutenant Green was asking to see the footage of the satellite flyover of Baltimore and Lieutenant Granderson and I are still working to determine what is jamming the radio signals. Would you be able to help him?_

" _Of course," Carl spoke without hesitation. He turned to Danny. "So what exactly are you looking for?"_

Present

"Carl was more than happy to go over the Baltimore footage with him," Kara replied with a smirk. Alisha barely contained a snort. They both knew that Danny wouldn't have been able to escape Nishioka for at least an hour as he gave Danny a very … comprehensive walk-through of the footage.

Served the bastard right.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Opening the door in response to a sharp knock, Kara's heart sunk at the sight of Commander Andrea Garnett. In an effort to force herself out of the cabin to get some breakfast, Kara had been reminding herself that today could not possibly be worse than yesterday, which began with the disastrous conversation with Captain Chandler and ended with Danny ditching her despite being the one who asked to meet in the first place.

 _Looks like she had jinxed herself._

Not sure whether she wanted to scream or cry, Kara opened the door further, assuming that the Captain had sent Andrea down to discuss Kara's situation. "Would you like to come in, ma'am?"

"We're not on duty, Kara. It's Andrea right now."

"Sorry about that. Andrea." Noticing that the older woman had made no move to enter the cabin, Kara spoke again. "Can I help you with something?"

"I came by to see if you wanted to have breakfast with me. Yesterday was certainly an eventful day and I thought you might appreciate some company," Andrea explained.

"I would like that," Kara replied, warmed by the gesture. Andrea appearing with her in the wardroom would send a strong signal that the senior officers did not intend for Kara to be ostracized or otherwise treated differently based on her condition. Kara had not expected such a kindness – not after Captain Chandler's reaction yesterday.

"How are you feeling?" Andrea asked as the ship gave a slightly roll.

Kara steadied herself against a wall. "Well, I don't get seasick so…"

Andrea chuckled. "I've never seen morning sickness on a D.D.G. before."

"Have you ever seen a nursery on one?" Kara muttered in reply.

"Not a once." Andrea turned to look at Kara. "The CO mentioned that you asked to be transferred to shore duty if things in Baltimore work out the way we hope. I think that's a smart decision. Having a baby is tough enough without trying to keep the kid from screaming while the ship is in quiet one."

"I haven't even though of that," Kara gasped.

Andrea shook her head. "I used to have nightmares about it. I did a year on shore after my daughter was born, so I was off ship for almost two full years. On my first cruise back I had these crazy dreams where she would be crawling around the engine room pushing buttons or screaming during a lockdown drill. Sometimes I would even wake up in the middle of the night searching for her, convinced she was in the bunk. There's something about being a parent. You never completely leave them behind."

Kara reached out to squeeze Andrea's hand. "I hope you find her."

Andrea squeezed back before stopping just before the door to the wardroom. "You could always do the same." It took Kara a minute to realize that Andrea was talking about staying in the Navy. "I remember what it was like when I was pregnant. You feel like there's no place for you anymore. But there is. Eventually the country is going to get back on its feet and we are going to need good people to keep it running. People like you, Kara. Remember that."

Kara only had time to murmur a thank you as Andrea pushed open the door to the wardroom. As she stepped into the room, Kara was startled to see that the XO was present, along with the Master Chief, Barker, Tex, Rios, Gator, and Burk. The only member of the senior staff missing was Danny. Uneasily, Kara wondered what was going on. Had she forgotten about a meeting?

"Ah, Foster, come in. But if you feel the urge to puke, please do it elsewhere. That's not the way I want to start my morning," Slattery said as he leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee. Kara tamped down the urge to giggle as she realized that, in his unique way, the XO was attempting to diffuse an awkward situation.

"I'll attempt to do so, sir," she replied, earning a chuckle from the man.

As the two women headed towards the cabinet to gather their food, Andrea took advantage of their last opportunity to speak privately, leaning over until their heads almost touched. "Don't let them get to you. This might be a boy's club but you're not alone."

With a final nod, Andrea moved to the chair next to Commander Slattery and the two instantly struck up a conversation about a problem engineering was having with the fresh water intake valve, something that had been an ongoing issue since the Nathan James scrapped the coral escaping from Gitmo. Kara took the empty seat between Tex and Burk, who was currently speaking with Barker.

Tex beamed at her, looking far too cheerful for breakfast. "I owe you big-time, girl."

"For what?" Kara asked as she took a small bite of the hash browns, placing her fork on her plate as she waited to see how the greasy potatoes would settle.

Tex picked up his coffee, the scent of which was already making Kara rue her decision to try eating anything, and took a big gulp, sighing contently before he continued. "I slept like a baby last night. Commodore put Green on overnight watch as punishment for breaking the frat rules. Which means that I don't have to listen to either him or the dog snore for an entire month."

It took a minute for Kara to comprehend what Tex was saying.

 _Danny had confessed._


	8. A Brighter Tomorrow

_Ch. 8 – A Brighter Tomorrow_

 _x_

"I heard an interesting story about KFC," Tex said as he sidled up next to Danny during afternoon PT.

Danny shot the man a glare, scowling. He had just spent an hour pretending to listen to Carl Nishioka drone on about the satellite footage of Baltimore while he re-played his conversation with Kara over and over again in his head, each time coming away with the same conclusion.

 _She wanted nothing to do with him._

Okay, maybe not _nothing._ She had kissed him, after all, the chemistry that sparked between them the first time they met clearly still present. But he didn't want some casual relationship focused on sex. Not that he would say no if she was offering. God, just kissing her had been enough to leave him aching. He had thought it was bad before, when he was imagining what it was like, but now that he knew exactly what she looked like, felt like, tasted like, the scent of her shampoo was enough to drive him crazy. Dragging his thoughts back to safer territory – he was in the middle of a training session, after all – Danny attempted to focus on the real problem. He needed to find a way to convince Kara to give him another chance. Find a way to show her that he was in this for good – that he wasn't going to disappear on her again, that he wanted to be there for her and the baby. To show her that he wanted forever. "Not now, Tex."

"Ah, so it's true. You're going to be a daddy," Tex continued as though Danny hadn't spoken. "Congratulations man."

Danny's jaw almost dropped at Tex's absurd comment. "Have you lost your mind? This whole situation is a disaster."

Tex grinned. "The piss-poor mood tells me that the happily-ever-after part of the story hasn't happened yet."

"You're dropping your left elbow, Rowler," Danny shouted at the man who was currently sparring with Cruz. Danny had deliberately chosen an activity that required him to pay only a minimal amount of attention to what was going on. Knowing that Tex wasn't going to leave him alone and deciding that he might as well take advantage of the man's uncanny ability to gather information, Danny lowered his voice. "Who did you hear it from?"

"Miller, actually. He heard it from Cruz, who heard from O'Connor, who apparently heard it from Bacon. Not sure who told Bacon. He was being cagey. Probably Wright. Slimy little asshole. Of course, I didn't believe it at first. But then I got the news straight from Gator, who was in CIC when the Commodore marched Kara in. According to Gator, the Captain made Kara explain exactly why she was there to all of them. Said he wanted them to understand why fraternizing was against the rules, as a lesson."

 _Fuck_. Danny had been so focused on his own disastrous conversation with Kara that he hadn't given any thought to what Kara's morning had been like. Danny's stomach twisted as he imagined how Kara had felt as she announced to her shipmates that she was pregnant, how mortified she must have been.

It took Danny a minute to realize that Tex was still talking. "Lot of speculation on the dad. Gotta say, Green, I don't know you well but you don't seem the sort to fuck and run. I take it you didn't know?"

Tex's words hit Danny like a thunderbolt. _Kara hadn't identified him_. There could be no other explanation for what happened, for why Danny hadn't been called before the CO for his own punishment. Captain Chandler was not the type of man to cut corners or ignore regulations, even during an apocalypse. Still, his reaction to the news – marching Kara into CIC to tell everyone what she had done – seemed harsher than necessary. But Danny could guess why the man had reacted so strongly, almost emotionally, to the news. He might not have served under Captain Thomas Chandler as long as many of the crew, but he had quickly realized that the Captain valued trust and loyalty far above intellect, skill, or even experience. And Kara had breached that trust. Not by fraternizing – that was a mistake that could be punished and forgiven – but by keeping Danny's identity a secret. By protecting him.

 _That had to mean something – didn't it?_

Danny felt slightly mollified that Tex didn't think he would deliberately put Kara in that position. "No, I didn't know."

"You talk to her at all?"

"Miller, stop trying to protect your stomach, you're leaving your side wide open!" As much as Tex sometimes – well, often – drove Danny up a wall, there was nobody else that he could talk to right now. And while Tex's pick up lines were atrocious, the guy was fairly perceptive. "Yep. Didn't go all that well. She stormed off."

"Well, pregnancy hormones can turn even the sanest woman into a raving lunatic," Tex noted sagely. Momentarily distracted from his own problems, Danny wondered whether Tex was speaking generally or from personal experience. Tex had never mentioned kids, but the man could be frustratingly closed-lipped about his past. "So what did you say to set her off?"

"I made a strategic error. I was caught off guard and didn't think through what I was saying before I said it," Danny began, hoping that the words didn't sound as bad this time around.

"Spill it, Danny-boy. You've had front row seats to my strike outs with the Doc. Chances are that I've said worse."

"I asked her if the baby was mine."

Tex was silent for a full minute, time which Danny filled by setting up the next sparring pairs. Finally Tex whistled softly. "Have to admit that I didn't see you being quite that stupid. It's a hell of a hole you dug yourself into."

Danny ground his teeth. "You know that none of this is any of your business."

"True, but I do have to bunk with you and I prefer not to have you doing the Hulk grunt thing twenty-four seven. It's annoying," Tex replied with a shrug. "So she say anything else or just knee you in the groin?"

Danny rolled his eyes. "She said that the reason she didn't tell me she was … pregnant," damn that word still made him want to hyperventilate, "was because she thought that I would be upset. That I wouldn't want the baby."

"Well, I can't say I blame the girl. You did basically dump her on her ass and not talk to her for two months," Tex observed, drawing an immediate scowl from Danny.

"That's not how it was and you know it," Danny hissed before raising his voice. "Keep your head in the game, Walker! Burk is about to mop the mat with you."

"Actually I thought that was pretty accurate description of what happened," Tex replied. "Woman isn't a mind reader, after all. She doesn't know that you're still mumbling her name in your sleep."

"I am?" Danny frowned. He had been a sleepwalker as a child. Not as bad as his brother, but there had been a few incidents. It hadn't happened in years and he had always assumed that he outgrew it. Maybe the events of the past couple of months had triggered a relapse? Talking wasn't as bad as sleepwalking, but either could be deadly in the field.

"Ha, got you," Tex quipped. "But think about it. Of course she expected you to be upset. She was probably worried about you leaving her to raise the kid alone. Something that was scary enough before the end times arrived. A woman like KFC, she's not going to sit around hoping for the best. She's going to make a plan."

Danny swallowed, struck by Tex's words, although not for the reason that the older man probably expected. Tex didn't know Kara's history, didn't know that she'd been raised by a single mother with a long string of failed relationships, didn't know that she had never met her father. In Kara's world, men left - by choice or otherwise. _Just like Danny had done._

"Sounds like she's got a good plan once she's off the ship, assuming all goes well in Baltimore..."

Danny was swinging around before he realized he had moved. "What do you mean off the ship?"

"She's leaving the ship. Something about helping Doctor Scott at the Baltimore lab," Tex said casually.

Danny groaned. He had assumed that he would have more time to work things out but they were reaching Baltimore tomorrow. "You mean I only have eighteen hour to straighten things out with Kara before she's off the ship for good?"

"Nope," Tex paused and Danny gave him a hopeful look. "More like fifteen."

"Well that was helpful," Danny snapped. "This is impossible."

"Look, you've seen my track record so take this for what it is worth, but I've watched a lot of romance movies and you know who always gets the girl? The guy who puts it all out there. If you really love her, you shouldn't be afraid to let everyone know."

Danny swallowed as Tex sauntered off after that incredibly unsubtle suggestion. This was turning into one hell of a day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Lieutenant Green." Captain Chandler's voice was completely neutral and Danny couldn't tell whether the man was expecting to see him - or had no idea why he was there.

Danny fought the urge to squirm. He hadn't been this nervous to talk to a commanding officer since boot camp. Frankly, he wasn't sure if he had ever felt this level of apprehension. He had certainly never screwed up this badly. But, hell, if Kara could do it he could do it too. "I am here to report myself for breach of the fraternization rules, sir."

The sudden shift in the Captain's eyes told Danny that the man hadn't known it was him. Kara _really_ hadn't told him. "Well, now I know why you insisted on being on that vessel with her at Gitmo."

Danny, foolishly, hadn't expected Chandler put everything together so quickly. "Yes, sir."

"And you were late that night. The timing was off to impact with the Vyreni. What happened, Lieutenant?"

This was it. Time to lay all of his cards on the table and take his lumps. _Man, this sucked._ "I … didn't want her on the boat when we reached the Vyreni. I slowed down for her to jump. She refused."

Danny saw a flicker of something – understanding maybe? – in the Captain's eyes before they narrowed. "Why?"

Why? Danny was perplexed. It was obvious why Kara refused. _She_ had her head on straight. _She_ hadn't been willing to risk the mission. "She thought the Russians would notice…."

But the Captain cut him off. "Why did you slow down?"

"Because I don't know what I'll do if anything happens to her." There. The words were out. His secret – the one that had almost killed every person on this ship.

"We almost ran into the coral waiting on you. Because you were more concerned about Lieutenant Foster than the mission," Captain Chandler's voice was harsh. Danny stood as still as possible, keeping his eyes fixed on Captain Chandler's ear, a trick he had learned from his father as a way to look a man in the face without meeting his eyes. "And what do you think your punishment should be?"

Kara had not received a punishment, other than having to explain to everyone that she was pregnant, but she was still recovering from the vaccination trial, in addition to being pregnant. Captain Chandler had undoubtedly taken her health into consideration when electing not to give her additional shifts. Danny knew that he would not be so lucky.

"Four weeks double night watch, plus informing the crew of my involvement with Lieutenant Foster."

The end was a formality. After all, the entire point of coming to the Captain was to make sure Kara knew about it. To show that he was committed – to her and the baby.

"Four weeks it is, beginning tonight," Captain Chandler replied. Danny hoped his dismay wasn't showing. If he was on overnight watch tonight, he would have no time to catch Kara after she got out of CIC, and catching her in the morning before her shift began would be tough. Everyone in CIC was working overtime to get ready for Baltimore. "Along with full disclosure of your actions in Gitmo."

Danny stopped, staring at the Captain in horror. "Sir?"

"You heard me, Lieutenant."

Danny's mind was whirling. He had expected the Captain to tell the XO, to have both of them watch his every move for a while as he re-earned their trust, but how could he admit to the men he commanded that he had almost killed them and then expect them to follow him? "I just, I don't want people to lose faith in me, sir."

"Sit down, Lieutenant." Captain Chandler leaned back in his chair as though he was thinking about what to say. "You may be unaware of what happened while you were down with Dengue Fever, but several of the men asked to leave the ship."

"I heard, sir," Danny replied, his attention diverted for a moment to those long days in sick bay, imagining that he heard Kara's voice telling him to hold on, her hand resting on his forehead, only to open his eyes to find nobody there.

"I created that situation by concealing information from the crew. They knew that what I was saying didn't fit with the evidence before them, and it made them doubt me. Understandably."

"Your situation was different, sir, you were trying to spare the crew from the truth, which is horrible," Danny began, but again Captain Chandler cut him off.

"We both made a mistake. It doesn't matter what that mistake was about. What matters is what you do now. Because believe me when I tell you, whether or not you come clean, Green, your men will figure it out. You are their leader, and they will be disappointed to learn that you put them at risk to protect Lieutenant Foster. But they will also understand that you are human, and they will respect you more if you acknowledge your mistake and make it clear to them that you will do everything you can not to repeat it. That, Danny, is what makes a leader. Not being perfect, but being willing to admit you screwed up, apologize, and strive do better the next time."

Danny blinked at Captain Chandler, realizing, for the first time, how much the Captain had struggled with the events of the past few months. He always seemed so confident, so resolute, that it was easy to forget that he, like all of them, had moments of doubt. "I understand, sir."

"Good. Now get out of here before I keel-haul you like Commander Slattery suggested."


	9. Smoke and Mirrors

_Ch. 9 – Smoke and Mirrors_

 _x_

The ball in the pit of Danny's stomach grew heavier and heavier as Amy Granderson led them through the Avocet facility. After visiting the laboratory, which had impressed even Doctor Scott, they viewed a fully functional hospital wing, a hydroponic garden, sample living quarters (which were about six times the size of his cabin and had private bathrooms), a temperature-controlled library filled with rare books, and classrooms for children of all ages. Most impressive of all, instead of being run off generators, which Commander Garnett had worried would not provide enough power to run the machinery necessary to produce the vaccine in bulk, the building had a dedicated line from a coal-burning power plant and, according to Mrs. Granderson, enough coal stock-piled to keep everything running for months. Danny would have liked to see the security offices, but there was a team arriving from Olympia for decontamination and nobody wanted to risk accidentally exposing those within the building to the virus – not until there were enough shots for everyone. Instead the group continued on to the communications room, where a dozen people sat before radios, responding to radio calls from people requesting help, directing them to the Olympia stadium. On the far side of the space, several people were working on computers, the screen above them mapping the spread of the virus and known hot and safe zones.

Avocet was practically a city unto itself – and it was continuing to grow. From the upper floors they could see the line of people waiting to enter to building, which sprawled around the corner, as each person was checked for signs of the virus before being allowed to enter. Mrs. Granderson had mentioned several times over the course of the morning that a local warlord named Thorwald was jamming their signals, making it more and more difficult to communicate with the other known safe zones, as well as dropped numerous hints about Avocet's need for people with expertise in communications and electronics. Although the comments were directed towards Alisha, who Mrs. Granderson most certainly did not want to see go, she might as well have been talking to Kara.

Avocet needed people with Kara's expertise, and Kara would no doubt jump at the chance to live and work in a place like this, especially if Doctor Scott and Alisha stayed.

Not that he could blame her. The baby had to be her priority – had to be _both_ of their priorities – and Avocet offered everything that the Nathan James did not. Spacious living quarters, specialized medical care, other children, even daycare – things that the baby would need.

But if Kara stayed in Baltimore that meant Danny would have to make a choice – a choice between leaving the Nathan James or leaving Kara and the baby. Although his enlistment wasn't up for another two years, Danny thought that Captain Chandler would be willing to give him an early discharge, under the circumstances. But then what would he do? From what Danny had seen, the only position he was qualified for was security, but those positions seem to be filled by the Baltimore PD. Still, they might need additional men as they began distributing the cure to a broader area, perhaps bringing things to a head with the local warlords. Commander Slattery had made the transition from police offer to Navy sailor; there was no reason why Danny couldn't do the reverse.

Of course, that all assumed Kara even wanted him in the picture, something which had yet to be decided.

"What you've done here is amazing, Mom," Alisha gushed as she, Danny, Carlton, and Master Chief Jeter headed towards the cafeteria, having little else to do now that the tour was complete. Doctor Scott was on her way back to the lab, eagerly chatting with a researcher named Michael, while Captain Chandler headed towards the radio room in in the hope of reaching his family. Tex, in his usual fashion, had simply disappeared.

"Ma'am?" The interruption by Lieutenant Landau, one of the police officers who met them at the pier, gave Danny a chance to pull Alisha to the side.

"Have you talked to her yet?" He asked, jerking his head towards the elder Granderson.

"About what?" Alisha replied, her face an unreadable mask.

"About the baby. About Kara staying here," Danny clarified, knowing that he didn't have time to beat around the bush. Alisha crossed her arms, as though she was considering telling him to shove off. Danny gritted his teeth.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no. Not yet," she finally replied.

Relief flooded him. "Can you wait until I have a chance to talk to her? Please."

He thought Alisha's expression softened slightly at his plea. In the Arctic, Kara often brought her cabin-mate along when she and Danny were meeting up, just as Danny often brought Frankie as a cover. But unlike Frankie, who demanded payment in the form of better shifts or more desserts for his cooperation, Alisha had participated voluntarily. Originally Danny had figured that Alisha was tagging along because she had a thing for Frankie but, after Kara managed to stop laughing long enough to explain that Alisha's interest lay in an entirely different direction, Danny had been forced to rethink the situation.

Besides Danny's team, Alisha was the only new officer to join the Nathan James crew before their departure for the Arctic. While such low turnover made for a tight-knit group who worked seamlessly together, it also made for a group that, intentionally or other, was difficult for newcomers to break into. Not that Alisha hadn't tried – Danny had seen the effort that she put into getting to know Lieutenants Mejia and Mir and Garcia, the people she worked with daily – but during those early days in the Arctic, Kara and Danny and Frankie had been the only people who Alisha regularly socialized with.

While Danny knew that his friendship with Alisha – because they _had_ been friends – had taken a beating after the events at Gitmo, he hoped that enough of the relationship survived for Alisha to at least consider his request.

Alisha held his gaze. "And what exactly is that going to change? You, more than anyone, know what it's like out there. Do you think that you are going to find somewhere better than this?"

Breaking eye contact, Danny turned slightly to look out the window, remembering the sight that had greeted them on the cruise ship and at Gitmo, knowing how lucky they were to have found this place, aware of how slim the chances were that anything remained in Norfolk or Danny's hometown in Connecticut. But even though he knew that Alisha was right, that this really was the best place for Kara and the baby, he still wanted – no, he needed – to talk to her. He needed to know whether there was any chance for them to work things out, whether him staying in Baltimore would make a difference. But, most of all, he needed to know that she wouldn't leave the ship before he had a chance to try to talk things through.

Danny returned his gaze to Alisha's face. "Just give me a chance to talk to her. That's all I'm asking."

Alisha gave him another hooded glance. "You have until tomorrow."

It wasn't much, especially since Danny was on night watch and catching Kara at all would be tricky, but he would make it work.

 _He had to._

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Danny, Carlton and Jeter were deep in the middle of a rousing gave of hearts – Jeter didn't play poker – when Tex approached the table where they were sitting, waiting on orders.

Carlton was the first to notice the bounce in Tex's step. "You get good news, old man?"

The man grinned. "Just kissed the doc."

"The more interesting news would be if she kissed you back," Carlton replied, drawing a round of laughter.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Tex replied with a wink. "Anyway, I'm headed out but wanted to say goodbye to you boys first. I already talked to the Commodore so this is my last stop."

Danny rose to shake Tex's hand, jumping when the man gave him a hearty slap on the back. "I might swing back by after I finish my business. Check up on you and KFC. Make sure she's keeping you out of trouble."

"Take care of yourself Tex." Danny paused before quietly adding. "I hope that you find whoever you're looking for."

"Me too, partner. Me too."

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Danny cursed fluently as he sped through the streets of Baltimore, thankful for his naturally good sense of direction. It was allowing him to avoid the streets they had used on their way from the ship to Avocet, suspecting that those either were – or would soon be – crawling with Baltimore PD. Danny's mind was still trying to catch up with what had happened when they pulled up to the Onyx truck stop where the Chandler family was supposed to be waiting.

 _Where, in a flurry of gunshots, their belief in Amy Granderson's Baltimore Utopia had been shattered._

And now it was a race. A race to see who would reach home base first because Danny knew, without a doubt, that the second Granderson's men reached Avocet and told Granderson what had happened when they refused to let Captain Chandler go to Olympia to rescue his family, the James would be at risk – which meant that Kara would be at risk.

As Danny swung another left, he calculated the remaining distance, determining that they were less than five minutes from the harbor. Turning his thoughts to the next step, he tried to recall how many Baltimore PD offers had boarded the Nathan James earlier. At least five with Lieutenant Norris, but Mason had mentioned more arrivals when Danny radioed them a couple hours before, so it could be triple that number by now. Despite knowing it to be useless, Danny hit his comm. "Mother, this is Vulture, come in."

"Probably still jammed," Master Chief Jeter said when no response was forthcoming. Danny glanced at Jeter, who was clutching his arm. Looking at the man's expression, you would think that he had suffered no more than a scratch, his face calm as he kept watch out the window, both of them recognizing how exposed they were in a known vehicle, but not wanting to take the time to stop and find alternative transportation.

"You still doing okay?" Danny queried as they went over another heavy bump. Given the time crunch, they had elected not to pack Jeter's wound, simply tying it off with a rag, and Danny was beginning to regret that decision, worrying that the man was losing too much blood.

Jeter grimaced as Danny took a corner at roughly double the speed limit. "I'm fine, sir. You concentrate on getting us back to the harbor."

One last turn and they were barreling towards the north side of the harbor. Danny jerked to a stop by one of the warehouses to avoid notice and the two men approached the water by foot – only to be greeted with the very sight that they were hoping to avoid. The pier where they had left the RHIB was crawling with Baltimore PD, with several smaller boats on the way towards the ship, and no sign of Walker or Rawler. Worst of all, a helicopter circled the Nathan James. From his position, Danny could not see what was happening on the ship but he could hear the megaphone calling for everyone to move into the helicopter bay.

"Fuck! How did they get here so quickly!"

"No idea, sir, but we should fall back to the rendezvous location and wait for the Captain," Jeter responded.

The moment they were out of sight Danny slammed a fist into the nearest wall. They hadn't gotten here in time. He had failed the crew – again. He had failed Kara. He began pacing, noticing several small boats tied up relatively close to their position. "We need to get back on the ship. Maybe we could grab one of the motorboats. If we wait for nightfall the helicopter may not spot us...

Jeter reached over to place his hand on Danny shoulder, cutting off the words. "The crew prepared for this. They know what to do."

" _I let them on board."_ The realization that he was the person to check Norris's credentials and send him to the James hit Danny like a punch to the gut.

"We all let them onboard, son. Don't put this on yourself."

Objectively, Danny knew the Master Chief was right. But that didn't change his torment at realizing that he could have stopped this, if he had only realized earlier that something was wrong.

"I can't just leave them …" Danny's voice cracked, unable to finish his thought.

Jeter drew himself up. "Last night when you spoke to your men, you asked them not to lose faith in you. But this is not about their faith in you. This is about your faith in them. Right now you need to have faith in Commander Slattery, in the men you trained, in the entire crew. Faith that they will do what needs to be done to free the ship, and to complete the mission. You need to trust them so that you can focus on what needs to be done."

The Master Chief's words echoed through Danny's head, reminding him of his talk with Captain Chandler. For weeks now, Danny had worried about his men losing faith in him, but he had never considered the flip side. At Gitmo, Danny hadn't trusted anyone else to keep Kara safe – even Kara herself – and it had led to near disaster. He could not make that mistake again. This time he needed to trust that Kara would do everything in her power to stay safe, trust that Slattery and the crew would figure out a way to regain the ship, and focus on the job at hand.

Because any other option would lead to disaster.

"Let me bandage that wound, Master Chief."


	10. Despair is the Solace of Fools – Benjami

_Ch. 10 - Despair is the Solace of Fools – Benjamin Disraeli_

 _x_

Kara scrubbed at her hands using the alcohol swabs that Doc Rios had procured from his medical kit. But no matter how many times she cleaned her hands, she couldn't erase the sight of Quincy pulling off the clamp closing his wound, the arch of blood shooting up as he collapsed onto the floor, or the sound of Kelly's horrified scream, followed by anguished sobs as the woman watched the husband she reunited with only a weeks prior bleed to death on the floor.

Pressing her lips together firmly, Kara fought back a wave of nausea, confused and angered by her reaction. Quincy wasn't the first person she had watched die – far from it. After all, the Nathan James had provided support to teams of Marines and SEALs stationed in Iraq and Somalia – some of the deadliest places on the planet even before the virus hit. As a med tech, Kara had seen her share of serious injuries, and deaths, as soldiers were brought aboard to be stabilized before transportation elsewhere could be arranged, and in the three months since leaving the Arctic she had attended so many funerals – Benz, Berchem, Smith, Cossetti, Gibson – that she could no longer differential between them in her mind.

But Quincy's death felt different. Not just because Quincy was a civilian or because he was betrayed and shot by someone he trusted, but because Quincy sacrificed himself for them. Quincy must have known, like Kara and Slattery and everyone else on the bridge, that as soon as Norris got his hands on the primordial strain he would have no further use for the crew of the Nathan James. Quincy died saving Kelly, but his death also bought everyone on the Nathan James the time they needed to find out a way to take back their ship.

 _Just like Frankie._

Well, actually, not _just_ like Frankie. Frankie knew that he was a dead man walking, that nothing could be done to help him, and he made the choice not to expose anyone else to the deadly germs he carried. Quincy could have given Norris the primordial strain and the lieutenant probably would have let him live; maybe even let Kelly live. After all, Quincy was a virologist, one who worked with Doctor Scott for years and helped develop the cure. He was _useful_ in a way that the run-of-the-mill sailor on the Nathan James was not. But Quincy chose a different path, one that gave every person aboard the Nathan James another chance.

And, somehow, that made his death a thousand times harder to bear.

Before today, Kara had failed to understand why Frankie's death shook Danny so profoundly. She _thought_ she did, of course. While Danny mourned the loss of every member of his team, he and Frankie were more like brothers than friends, their lives tightly interwoven. But there was a missing piece that Kara didn't understand, that she would not have been able to comprehend until now. Danny had reacted more intensely to Frankie's death not only because of the shocking loss of a man who he viewed as a brother or because Frankie died by his own hand, but because not all of Danny's emotions had been grief. Kara now understood, because mixed in with the horror and sorrow of Quincy's loss, she felt a sense of relief. Relief that Quincy chose to sacrifice himself rather than turn over the primordial strain. Relief that he bought them – bought her – additional time to escape. Relief that she was still alive (for the moment, anyway). And guilt. Guilt that she was feeling relief when Quincy was dead.

How much worse would that guilt have been for Danny? Guilt over the relief he felt knowing that he had not been exposed, and that he could return to the Nathan James without risk of exposure when his best friend, his brother, was dead.

"Do you need to sit down Kara?" Timothy Rios asked quietly, touching her hand for the briefest of moments, causing Kara to realize that she was trembling.

She glanced toward Tim, wondering at his solid presence – that was what made him an excellent medic, of course, steady head and hands under pressure – unable to explain the myriad emotions tumbling through her mind. "They just tossed his body overboard."

Tim paused, as though he too was struggling to find a way to deal with the situation. "We have to stall them until….."

 _Until the Captain arrives_. The unspoken words hung between them as Norris stormed onto the bridge. Slattery stepped in front of Kara, Rios and Gator, a position that made no difference as two of the officers headed directly towards him.

"Lock this asshole in the chart room," Norris sneered before fixing his view on Kara, a grim smile forming on his face. Uneasy, her eyes locked on Norris, Kara barely noticed as Slattery was forced into the small room to the side of the bridge. "He tries to come out of there, you shoot him. Lieutenant Foster, you're going on a little trip."

 _What?!_ With a sharp intake of breath, Kara stepped back from the officers who, finished with Slattery, were now advancing on her. "N-no, wait ... no!"

"Hey! Wait!" Tim tried to intervene, only to be pushed back roughly.

Kara struggled as the men dragged her from the bridge, Tim and Gator's shouts quickly fading behind them. Kara slammed her heel into one of the officer's foot. "Get your hands off of me!"

Ignoring her struggles, Norris gave her another creepy smile, one that chilled her to the bone. "Mrs. Granderson wants to see you."

Her queasiness returned in full force as Kara connected the dots. She was leverage, just like Kelly.

 _They must have found Danny._

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As the SUV took another corner far too quickly, Kara cynically wondered what her guards would do if she vomited all over their seats. They had shackled her hands behind her back before tossing her into the rear seat of the vehicle, failing to latch her seatbelt and giving her no ability to hold herself in one place – something that she learned the hard way when the SUV picked up speed. Of course, knowing her luck, if she did vomit, she would miss the guards entirely and puke on herself, which meant that she would smell like vomit for the rest of the day. Just the though was enough to make Kara gag.

Given the delicate state of her stomach, Kara was both relieved and anxious when the SUV pulled up before a steel and glass building labeled Avocet. Rubbing her wrists as feeling began to return from the too-tight cuffs, Kara scowled at the guards who continued to ignore her as they yanked her out of the SUV and towards the towering building.

"Let me go! Let me go! Get your hands off me!"

Under other circumstances, Kara would have admired the open layout of the building, a wall of windows allowing light to pour into the corridor, the stone floors and light walls giving the building a sleek and modern look. But despite the bright interior, the atmosphere was solemn, the people Kara passed as she was half carried, half dragged through the hallways careful to keep their eyes down and their attention elsewhere, their reluctance to become involved clear. Kara's heart sank as she realized, whether due to fear or indifference, she could expect no assistance from those within Avocet.

After walking for several minutes, the guards suddenly stopped before a thick wooden door. Upon gaining entrance, Kara's first instinct was to search the room for Danny, a wave of relief passing through her as she determined that he was not here – that Mrs. Granderson would not be able to use Kara against Danny as Norris used Kelly against Quincy. But even as he body began to relax, Kara realized, with mounting terror and horror, why she was here.

This had never been about Danny.

 _They wanted the baby._

" _No! No! Stop! No! Stop!"_

The frenzied screams burst from Kara's throat, any pretense at calm gone as she fought against her guards with every bit of strength she possessed, her only goal to somehow escape.

 _To save her baby from these lunatics._

A short Asian man turned, absolutely no emotion on his face as Kara was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the room. "Get her on the table. Warm up the equipment."

Tears flooded Kara's eyes and began streaming down her face as she was tossed onto the examination table, her arms and legs quickly strapped down. She turned towards a dark-skinned woman dressed in scrubs – a nurse perhaps – and the only person in the room who appeared to have any concerns about what was happening, catching the woman's gaze. "Help me!"

A flicker of uncertainty crossed the woman's face, but the man in charge turned his cold stare towards the nurse, who immediately dropped her gaze from Kara. "Take her coveralls off."

" _Help me! Stop! Please!"_

After fiddling with Kara's coveralls for a minute, the woman stopped, hands trembling. "I can't unhitch them."

"Just open them up," the leader snapped, tearing Kara's shirt open with enough force to pop the snaps. After stuffing a rag so far into Kara's mouth that she could feel it against the back of her throat, he leaned over her until he was close enough for her to smell his rancid breath.

"Calm down! Lieutenant! Listen to me! Do you want to save your baby? Because I haven't done surgery since medical school. So if you want at least one of you to survive, I'm going to need you to calm down and sit still. Do you understand?"

Kara stared into his emotionless face, knowing that he was lying. There was an unnatural gleam in his eyes as he looked at her, one which reflecting his depravity. He wasn't just indifferent to what he was doing.

 _He was excited._

This man did not care what happened to Kara or her child. All he cared about was getting the stem cells he needed to recreate the vaccine, and it didn't take much medical knowledge to know that the easiest way to do that was simply to remove the fetus and gather the desired tissue. But even knowing that this evil man's was lying to gain her cooperation, she had little choice but to acquiesce to his request. Kara forced herself to stop screaming, recognizing that she was expending energy fighting a useless battle when she should be focusing on any opportunity to escape.

Willing herself not to cry, Kara stared at the ceiling as her clothing was roughly pushed aside and an assistant rolled an ultrasound machine towards the edge of the table. For the first time since she was eight, when Debbie told her without any preamble that her father was dead and asking God to send him home was pointless, Kara prayed.

 _She prayed that the door would swing open and Danny would burst through, guns blazing, her white knight here to save her._

 _She prayed that that Rachel or Alisha would learn what was happening and convince Mrs. Granderson to stop the procedure._

 _She prayed that Captain Chandler would retake the Nathan James and Commander Slattery would send a team to rescue her._

But as the tears crept down her face and the nurse spread gel on her belly, Kara knew that no one was coming – because none of them knew she was here.

 _All she could do was pray for a miracle._

The wand from the ultrasound machine moved against her stomach and, wondrously, Kara heard her baby's heartbeat for the first time. Rachel had tried to find it with the stethoscope several days before with no luck, finally concluded that it was too early for the equipment that they had on board to pick it up. Kara listened intently to the steady _thump thump thump_ , knowing that, at least for the moment, her little one was still there. Still alive. Still safe. A few motions of the wand later, a picture appeared on the monitor above them and an image of the baby appeared, the infant's tiny arms waving at her as though to say hello. Even as she marveled at the sight, though, Kara could not help but wonder if this would be both her first and last time seeing her child.

Moving closer, the lunatic mumbled to himself as he carefully lined the needle up and began pressing down into her stomach, ignoring Kara's sharp intake of breath as the needle moved through skin and muscle. Despite the wave of nausea that the pain in her stomach brought, Kara kept her eyes fixed on the monitor. She needed to watch, to see where the needle went, and to take in every second that she had with her baby.

 _And to know if there was still a heartbeat at the end._


	11. Death is Not the Worst of Evils

_Ch. 11 – Death is Not the Worst of Evils_

 _x_

Sitting before the panel at the power plant, Danny tried to figure out what each of the buttons and dials before him did. Not that he planned to mess with them, but the knowledge might come in useful – after all, the plan did not involve eviscerating half of Baltimore by causing an overload of the furnaces. Besides, he needed some way of keeping his mind off the topic that it kept returning to over and over again.

 _Kara._

Danny knew the odds and, objectively, the odds were damn good that Kara was fine. Pissed off, most likely scared, a prisoner, but fine. As Jeter had pointed out the night before, there was plenty of incentive for Granderson and Norris to keep the crew who survived the initial takeover alive. After all, they were the only people on the planet with the virus swimming around their veins. That _had_ to be useful somehow. Upon meeting up with Captain Chandler, his family, and Burk, the group spent most of the night strategizing and each of them – including Jed Chandler, a former army man who had provided some much needed intel on the state of the world around them – had concurred. The Nathan James crew had information that Granderson needed about the cure. Killing them would serve no purpose.

No matter how he rationalized it, though, Danny couldn't shake his feeling of dread, or stop the pit that formed in his stomach each time he thought about Kara, convinced that something was horribly wrong.

Pulling a worn coin out of his vest pocket, Danny held it tightly in his fist. He had given Frankie the Indian head penny two years ago as a good luck charm. While the gift had been a joke, that hadn't stopped Frankie from carrying the penny on every mission that followed, often flippantly pulling it from his pocket before doing something reckless. When packing up Frankie's belongings in Gitmo, Danny had found the coin – and realized Frankie must have forgotten to take it onto the cruise ship.

Danny knew that believing in a lucky coin was foolish, a silly superstition but...he couldn't help but wonder about that last day, that last mission. Did Frankie leave the coin behind on purpose? Or was Frankie's forgetfulness a sign that his mind wasn't on the task at hand – a sign that Danny missed? Either way, the coin now served as a constant reminder of what a single mistake, a slight misstep, a momentary lapse of concentration could cost.

 _A life._

Three times the radio crackled with the agreed signal, the sudden (although expected) sound startling Danny after hours of silence. Sliding the coin back in his pocket, Danny raised his gun. If all went as planned, in a couple of hours he would be back on the Nathan James, back with Kara, back with the only people that mattered anymore. But for now he needed to push her away, lock her out, and focus on the task at hand.

 _Or else he would end up like Frankie._

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The first time the monitor flickered, Kara thought it was the sheen of tears covering her eyes that caused the distortion in the picture. But then it happened again. The doctor paused in his task, the needle hovering dangerously close to the dancing fetus, scowling at one of the guards. "Find out what's going on."

But just as the needle began descending again, the room went completely dark, no windows or natural light to provide the tiniest break in the inky darkness, and Kara knew without any doubt that this was it. The opening she had prayed for.

The doctor let out an enraged shout as he yanked the needle out from Kara's stomach. "Get the lights! We're going to finish this."

Yanking on her wrists got her nowhere, so Kara did the only other thing she could think of. Stretching her fingertips as far as possible, Kara hit warm flesh, drawing the nurse's attention just as the emergency lights flickered on. The woman's tormented gaze skimmed over Kara to the three men huddled in the corner searching for the equipment. Kara looked as well, all hope disappearing as the doctor began turning towards them, only to feel the slid of the straps holding her right hand give way as a cool, metal cylinder was pushed into her hand. Kara knew what it was without looking.

 _The needle._

From the corner of her eyes Kara could see the nurse retreating against the wall, her terror and panic obvious, and Kara wondered just how horrible the outside world must be for this woman to willingly work for a man who was so clearly lacking any morals – and wondered whether he was the exception or the rule here at Avocet. Kara knew that she would have only one shot, could only pick one man to aim for, and her choice was obvious. She would simply have to hope that taking out the doctor created enough confusion for her to free herself and evade the guards.

Thankfully as the doctor returned his attention was on the lights and ultrasound machine, rather than his missing nurse or Kara. Taking as deep a breath as she could through her gag, Kara counted down from fifty as she waited for him to lean over her, presumably to gather his equipment, before she lunged, slamming the needle into his chest with all of her strength.

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"Running out of ammo!"

As Danny tore down the power plant corridor, he fought against the fear that blossomed in his chest. Not fear of dying – not exactly. He didn't _want_ to die, of course, but he had long ago accepted that he was unlikely to die an old man in his bed. No, this fear was different. Right now he was less afraid of dying than he was of dying too early, of blowing the most important mission of his life.

 _Not holding the power plant long enough._

 _Not drawing enough men away from the James._

 _Not giving the crew enough time to retake the ship._

There were only three of them – three men against hundreds – but every second that he and Burk and the CO bought the Nathan James might make the difference.

 _Might determine whether Kara and their child survived._

Danny knew that Kara was no easy mark. She was a smart woman, a skilled tactician, and a hell of a shot. But she had never served on the front lines, never killed a person face-to-face. If Benz or Berchem or Smith were still alive, or if Tex or Burk were on the ship, he would have taken comfort in knowing that they would protect her in his absence. But Frankie and Jason and Steven were dead, Burk was at Avocet, and Tex was gone, unknowingly leaving them to their fate – leaving Kara to take care of herself.

As he tore across the roof to the building, stopping only to throw his last grenade, Danny prayed that he had done enough to give Kara – to give the James – the help they needed to escape Granderson's clutches.

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Kara barely noticed the shrill scream that sounded in her ears as the needle slashed through the doctor's flesh and muscle. As he flailed backwards, she was already freeing her left hand and then reaching down to free her feet before rolling from the bench, while the guard struggled to hold up the man she had just attacked. Before Kara could decide whether to make a dash for the door, though, it was thrown open.

"Get away from the girl!"

It took Kara's frantic mind a moment to recognize the voice, which was swiftly followed by two tight shot patterns, but once she did a sob broke from her throat and she yanked out her gag. "Don't hurt her! She's with me."

"Kara!" Rachel's voice was horrified. "Oh my god, you're bleeding! What did he do, Kara?"

Tex slammed the door, kicking each of the men lying on the floor to make certain they were dead before moving to Kara's side as Rachel wiped away the blood with a cloth provided by the nurse, who Tex viewed suspiciously.

"He…" Kara took a deep breath. "He just used a needle. He said he might let us survive. I didn't believe him, of course, but the needle never touched the baby."

Realizing that she was babbling, Kara forced herself to stop talking. Rachel's voice turned clinical as she gently poked Kara's stomach, drawing a groan. "You could see?"

"Yes, he needed the monitor," Kara explained.

"What the holy hell were you people doing?" Tex demanded, turning on the nurse who shrank back into the shadows.

"I don't..I don't know! He said to be here. I didn't know…"

But Tex wasn't done. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

As the woman continued to sob, Kara grabbed Tex's arm. "I need to get out of here. _Please._ "

"I don't know if you should be moving right now," Rachel interrupted with noticeable concern. "This is a lot of blood for one needle, Kara. There may be internal damage."

"Not sure that's a good plan, Doc. We've left a trail of bodies leading straight here. Someone's bound to find us," Tex replied.

"We need to go," Kara said firmly, tucking in her shirt to hide the blood, hoping that it was only the doctor's careless manner that was responsible for the blood and faint bruising already appearing on Kara's pale skin. Turning towards the woman who had given her this chance, Kara spoke. "Thank you."

The woman nodded, evidently too scared of Tex to open her mouth.

"Let's roll before the cavalry arrives then," Tex whispered, sliding open the door. On the way out Kara stopped to pick up the guard's weapons, unwilling to wander these halls unarmed. As she bent over, a sharp shooting pain ran through her. Biting down on her lip to stop from crying out, Kara followed Rachel and Tex as best she could, tears leaked from her eyes despite her efforts to stem them. Only weeks ago she had practically prayed for a miscarriage, believing that it would be better to have the choice taken away from her, to not need to deal with all of the decisions and changes that having a child would require her to make. But against all odds, the baby had survived and Kara had put aside her doubts and fears and embraced the idea of motherhood, only to be once again faced with a decision that wasn't a decision.

 _Because staying here meant death for all of them._

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"I found Doctor Scott at the tunnel entrance. She's secure. She was with Lieutenant Foster."

Danny froze at the Master Chief's words, certain he must have misheard. _Why would Kara be here with Doctor Scott rather than on the ship?_ "Kara?"

The Master Chief's only response was a grave stare – one which was less than reassuring – but before Danny could ask the questions thundering through his head, Alisha's groan drew everyone's attention. Carlton adjusted his hold on the woman. "Just hang on, baby girl. We're getting you back to the ship."

But Alisha pulled away, continuing to sob. "No, I can't go back! I can't!"

Danny looked to the Master Chief, uncertain of how to proceed. The man nodded to Carlton. "I got it from here. You're clear. We'll at least get you to Doctor Scott."

Fortunately the trip to the entrance of the tunnel was short, or else Danny might have abandoned Alisha to the Master Chief, his feeling of wrongness returning with a vengeance at the Master Chief's words. When they finally made it to the end of the tunnel, relief flooded Danny as he spotted Kara sitting next to Doctor Scott, head tipped back against the wall as though she were resting. But that relief turned to horror as a closer look revealed the large reddish stain on Kara's coveralls, one only partially covered by the hand resting on her stomach, a stain that Danny would have recognized anywhere.

 _Blood._


	12. Uncertainty is Hell

_Ch. 12 – Uncertainty is Hell_

 _x_

"The bleeding seems to have stopped," Rachel said with some relief.

Kara nodded, unwilling to express out loud her paralyzing fear that she would look down to see a tiny corpse in the blood. From what the two women could tell given the limited privacy of the tunnel, the bleeding was localized to Kara's stomach – for now. But Kara knew too well that she wasn't out of the woods, not by a long shot. As Rachel had explained upon Kara pressing her, even a properly performed amniocentesis performed by an experienced physician carried a one to two percent chance of miscarriage, and the amount of blood spilling from Kara's stomach made clear how very improperly Kara's procedure had been done. The first step would be for Rachel to do another ultrasound and determine whether the baby still had a heartbeat. After that it would be a waiting game to see if the trauma caused through the doctor's carelessness, and their frantic escape immediately following, would trigger a miscarriage.

When they reached the entrance of the tunnel and felt safe enough to sit down to rest, Rachel had been unable to hide her shock and concern over the amount of blood on Kara's clothing. When Kara, haltingly, explained how rough the doctor, who Rachel identified as a man named Hamada, was with the needle, digging around Kara's stomach, Rachel's concern had turned to fury and Kara was horrified to learn that he was responsible for far more than her kidnapping and assault. He, along with Amy Granderson, had taken advantage of the sick and desperate, luring them to Olympia, before killing them and using their bodies as fuel to provide electricity to Avocet.

Kara leaned her head back again the rough concrete wall, exhaustion sweeping through her. The logical part of her brain knew that sitting, closing her eyes, lowering her guard, was a bad idea. There was no guaranty that this tunnel was safe. In fact, given the fierce fighting at Avocet and the apparent takeover of the Nathan James, there was every possibility that the tunnel would be overrun by Amy Granderson's people at any minute. If Kara were being smart, she would grab Rachel and some extra ammunition and find somewhere far away from the fighting to hunker down.

But knowing what she should do and actually doing it were far different things, and Kara didn't have the energy to fight the lethargy that had seeped into her bones.

It was Rachel's gasp that finally caused her to lift her head, opening her eyes, unprepared to see Danny across the way. Kara's eyes swept over him, her concern about the blood staining the shoulder of his uniform alleviated by the smooth way he moved, no sign of injury. He, like she, was running his eyes over her, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face until his gaze fell to her stomach and the smile vanished. Despite her detachment, Kara felt her throat tighten at the anguish on his face, the shock in his eyes.

 _The only other person in the world who could understand._

As Danny took a step forward, Kara's attention was caught by the two people behind him, Master Chief holding Alisha upright as she sobbed, her uniform covered with far more blood than Kara's. Kara scrambled to her feet as Rachel took charge. "Bring Lieutenant Granderson here, the light is better."

Tears streamed down Alisha's face as she caught sight of Rachel and Kara. "I didn't know! You have to believe me that I didn't know! I didn't know what she was going to do."

"Of course not." The words were automatic, Kara's attempt to sooth her best friend as Master Chief set Alisha down and Rachel began examining the wound, which appeared to be a gunshot to Alisha's side. The beseeching tone of Alisha's voice, the betrayal shimmering in her eyes, attested to the truth of her statement – not that Kara ever doubted her friend's loyalty.

But Alisha didn't seem to hear Kara as she continued rambling. "Nobody will believe me. _My own mother_. How could I not know what she was doing? I led everyone into a trap. I could have killed the entire crew. I might have killed the entire crew."

It took a long fifteen minutes to stabilize Alisha, and even then it was apparent that she would need surgery upon their return to the Nathan James to remove the bullet. Rachel turned to the Master Chief. "Any word from the ship? This bandaging won't hold long and Thorwald doesn't have the supplies I need to operate."

"Not yet, ma'am, but I have no doubt that we will hear from Commander Slattery shortly," Master Chief reassured.

His words were like fuel on the fire for Alisha, who began sobbing again, her shaking making the bleeding worse. "I can't go back! I can't face them!"

Kara bent down to take Alisha's hand, but the motion caused Alisha to notice, apparently for the first time, the blood on Kara's coveralls. She jerked away, eyes large. "What did she _do_ to you? Oh my god, is the baby..."

Kara cringed, unable to meet Alisha's gaze as more sobs burst from the woman's throat. "No, no, no, no, no!"

Rachel set a hand on Kara's arm, her tone soothing. "Let me talk to her. She needs to calm down so I can get the bleeding under control."

With Rachel and the Master Chief occupied with Alisha, Danny pulled Kara to the side for a semi-private conversation.

"I thought you would be on the ship," he said, his voice quiet but urgent. "When we got back to the harbor to warn you they were already on board. What happened?"

"They wanted the primordial strain but Quincy hid it. He killed himself rather than give it up." Kara explained stoically, ignoring Danny's sharp breath at the news of Quincy's death (a reaction less about the death and more about the manner, she presumed). "When they couldn't get the primordial, they decided stem cells were the next best option."

"How did they find out about the baby?" Danny followed Kara's gaze to Alisha before shaking his head. "Alisha didn't say anything. I asked her to wait until I talked to you."

Kara frowned. She had assumed that Alisha was the one to tell Mrs. Granderson about the baby, that Alisha had asked if the two women could stay at Avocet, like she and Alisha had planned. With a sick shock, Kara realized that Hamada must have read her medical file.

 _And that made it so much worse._

He had known _details_ about her – the date of conception, the father, what happened during the vaccination trial, the seizure. And if Hamada had known, he might have told others, he might have made copies. There were dozens of doctors at Avocet. Did they _all_ have her information? Would others be looking for her, ready to do the same thing to obtain the cure?

Tramping down her panic, Kara took a deep breath. "They were searching the ship for the primordial. Someone must have gone through the files from the vaccination trial. That's when they brought me to Avocet. I didn't know what they planned until we got to the room. I tried fighting but…they tied me down. I couldn't stop them."

A flurry of emotions passed over Danny's face – confusion, shock, anger, revulsion – the tiny changes in his expression clear as day to Kara after months of learning his moods inside and out. "Did they..."

"The lights went out before they could finish," Kara cut him off.

"So the baby is okay?" Danny pounced on the suggestion – the hope – that the situation wasn't as horrible as it seemed. "What about the blood?"

Kara closed her eyes for the briefest moment, steeling herself. "Rachel doesn't know yet. The doctor wasn't careful with the needle. Moving made the bleeding worse but we needed to get out of there. I killed him – the doctor. Just before Tex and Rachel arrived. I stabbed him to death."

A look of absolute fury crossed Danny's face, his hands curling into fists as he stared at the cement wall. "Good."

"I'm sorry, Danny. So sorry," she whispered, staring at her feet.

"Are you," he paused, then rephrased, "will you be okay?"

"We don't know how much damage the doctor did. Rachel said we just have to wait and see. Once we get back to the ship..."

"No." Danny cut her off and Kara glanced up at him, puzzled. "I asked if _you_ would be okay."

"I ... " The pause stretched for an eternity as Kara's mind fought to catch up with the unexpected question, her entire focus on the baby. "Yes."

"Thank God." Danny's eyes closed tightly before he caught her hand, squeezing it tightly. "I don't think I could survive losing you."

Kara blinked at him as the words sunk in. Then, once again, Kara found herself fighting back tears, unable to do more than squeeze his hand in response.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kara jumped at the unexpected knock on her cabin door. Upon her return to the James early that morning, neither Rachel nor Rios would allow her to help with the wounded, insisting that she stay off her feet, and her sojourn to CIC lasted for only ten minutes before the XO ordered her back to her cabin to rest. But despite her exhaustion, Kara couldn't sleep, images from the day before swamping her the moment she closed her eyes. Instead, she ended up reading the only book she could find in the cabin, one of Alisha's lame romance novels, in a futile attempt to stop the questions tumbling through her mind on repeat, all focused on one solitary theme.

 _When would she know, one way or the other?_

Checking her face in the mirror to make sure it wasn't obvious that she had been crying, Kara swung the door open, surprised to find Andrea Garnett on the other side. When Kara arrived earlier the woman was in full command mode, dealing with the assignment of personnel and the transfer of the Avocet prisoners to shore.

"How can I help you, ma'am?"

"It's Andrea right now." The engineer stepped into the cabin, gesturing for Kara to sit back down. "I heard what happened, Kara. I'm so very sorry. No woman should ever go through an experience like that."

Kara blinked back threatened tears at Andrea's sincerity. "I don't, I can't talk about it."

Andrea held up a hand. "You don't have to say anything. But I did want to share something with you. Back a million years ago when the world was normal, Bill and I thought that we would have a houseful of kids. Or at least three. We tried for years and nothing happened. Then I got pregnant. And everything was perfect, until I lost the baby."

"I'm sorry," Kara whispered, realizing, not for the first time, how little she knew about Andrea Garnett despite serving on the same ship for years.

Andrea nodded, silently acknowledging the statement. "I remember how isolated I felt, and I wanted you to know that you aren't alone. If you don't want to talk, that's fine. But if you do, I'm here. And remember that, no matter what happens Kara, you're a strong woman and you'll make it through this."

Kara stared at Andrea, wondering how she managed to go on, day after day, doing her job without complaint, not knowing whether her daughter was alive or dead.

"I feel selfish, sitting here when I should be helping," Kara admitted. "There's so much that needs to be done and I don't want to be a burden."

"Everyone is just happy that you and Lieutenant Granderson are back on board. They understand that you need some time to recover after what happened. We could use your help in CIC if you change your mind about staying in Baltimore though," Andrea replied. "Things are rather disorganized without Commander Barker."

Kara felt her eyes growing misty at the thought of Barker, a man she had worked with almost every day for the past six months, being gone. "Thank you, Andrea. I'll be there as soon as Doc Rios clears me."

The knock at the door startled both women. Waving Kara to stay where she was, Andrea pulled open the door to reveal Danny, hand up to knock again. Kara almost laughed at the sour expression on his face when he saw who had answeredthe door. "Commander."

Andrea stepped into the pathway, giving Danny a stern look. "Did you need something, Lieutenant Green?"

"Actually, Doctor Scott sent me," he explained, before glancing at Kara. "Tex and I found an ultrasound machine. Whenever you're ready, she can look for the baby."


	13. Even the Darkest Night is Followed by

_Ch. 13 – Even the Darkest Night is Followed by the Dawn_

 _x_

They were almost to sick bay when Kara stopped dead. Backtracking several steps, Danny took in her pale face and arms crossed tightly over her chest. "What's wrong?"

Kara stared down the pathway, her entire body trembling. "I don't think I can do this."

 _Eight Hours Earlier_

 _Doctor Scott slung the stethoscope around her neck with a shake of her head. The woman had warned them that this was unlikely to work, the fetus too small to be heard without specialized equipment, but Kara had still wanted to try._

" _How long until we know?" Danny asked, reaching for Kara's hand, retracting his when he felt her stiffen. For a few minutes down in the tunnel last night, things had felt so natural, the way they used to be back in the Arctic, when the only thing they needed to worry about was getting caught. The closer they got to the Nathan James, though, the more Kara had pulled away, mentally and physically, leaving Danny at a loss of what to do. At least she hadn't objected when Doctor Scott invited him to join them while she checked Kara. He didn't think he could have stood being shut out, not now, not when the fear of losing her was still so fresh._

" _A day or two. If you are going to have a miscarriage, you should start bleeding soon," Doctor Scott replied._

" _So we just have to wait?" Kara asked, her voice reflecting none of the inner turmoil that Danny knew she was feeling. "Isn't there anything else you can do?"_

" _Not with the equipment that I have on board," Doctor Scott explained with a tired sigh. "I know that it will be hard, but the best thing for you to do right now is to rest."_

Present

"This is the only way to know for sure," Danny reminded her. "That's what you said you wanted."

Kara shook her head, taking a step back, her gaze fixed on the door twenty feet down the corridor. "I changed my mind."

 _Four Hours Earlier_

 _Danny set the last load of supplies down in the helicopter bay turned triage center, his eyes skimming over the crowd as he looked for Kara. When he didn't see her, he headed towards Alisha, bending down to take the woman's limp hand. "You're looking better, Alisha. I assume Doc Rios got the bleeding stopped?"_

 _Alisha didn't respond, her eyes staring blankly ahead, the way they had been since the XO delivered the news that Amy Granderson was dead. It was a look that Danny had seen too many time before on soldiers pushed past their breaking point. He tried again. "We just finished moving the state troopers to shore. Nobody on or off the Nathan James without the XO's express permission from here on out."_

 _Another silence. Danny took a moment to glance around the room again, puzzled as to where Kara could have gone. She was supposed to be sitting on the cot next to Alisha, resting. "You don't know where Kara is, do you?"_

 _Furious eyes clashed with his for a fraction of a second before Alisha rolled to the side, giving Danny her back and leaving him without a shred of doubt that he had just asked the wrong question._

" _Doc sent Kara to her cabin. Said she wouldn't stay still, kept jumping up to help." Tex crouched down on the other side of Alisha. "You go find her. I'll stay here with Alisha."_

 _Danny stood, his plan to track Kara down (he somehow doubted that she was actually resting), but before he could take a step, Doctor Scott appeared. "Just the two men I needed to see."_

 _Waving Danny and Tex to the far side of the space where they had a modicum of privacy, Rachel wasted no time. "I can't check Kara or the fetus with the equipment we have on board. I need an ultrasound machine. Commander Slattery is willing to let the two of you go find one now that the ship is secure. Just don't take too long. There's still a lot to do."_

 _Danny frowned, his focus on Doctor Scott's first statement. "I thought you said Kara was okay."_

 _"She most likely is_ ," _the woman replied smoothly. "But I need the ultrasound machine to check the fetus and would prefer to check Kara as well. Make sure that arsehole didn't cause internal damage than an external examination wouldn't reveal."_

" _Tell us your real feelings, why don't you?" Tex murmured, before giving Doctor Scott a salute and steering Danny towards the exit. "Don't worry Danny-boy, we'll be back lickety-split. Your girl won't have time to miss you."_

Present

Hurriedly checking the corridor for witnesses, Danny moved until they were standing side-by-side and then, with one last quick glance around, he wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Please Kara. This is important. Not just for the baby, but for you. To make sure that you don't have internal injuries. We don't know exactly what Hamada did. You could be hurt too."

Kara's hands rose to grasp the front of his uniform, her breath ragged, forehead leaning against his chest. "I saw him. The baby, I mean. Hamada was using the ultrasound machine to guide the needle and I saw him. He looked just like a baby. Tiny arms and legs waving. And his heart was beating. I could see it moving in his tiny chest."

Danny swallowed, fighting to breathe through the anger pulsing through him as he pictured the scene, imagining Kara's terror, her desperation.

Kara leaned back to look at him, her eyes filling with tears. "What if this time I don't see the heartbeat?"

 _Two Hours Earlier_

 _Danny fought the urge to give the body before him a solid kick, revolted and sickly pleased to see the needle that was still stuck in his chest, next to a neat circle of entrance holes, courtesy of Tex._

" _This is him?"_

" _Yup, that's Hamada. The sick son of a bitch," Tex confirmed, barely sparing Danny a glance as he continued unplugging cords and gathering equipment._

 _Danny stared at the body before him. He recognized the man now. It was the same guy who greeted Doctor Scott when they first arrived at Avocet two days ago, the one that led the round of applause in the laboratory. Nothing around him had stuck out to Danny, nothing giving him any cause for concern. In fact, nothing about Granderson or Hamada or Norris or anyone at Avocet had suggested the level of depravity that these people were capable of._

 _How could he – how could they – have been so wrong?_

 _Dragging his eyes away from Hamada's vacant stare, Danny found his gaze settling instead on the chair where Kara must have been held, the straps for her arms and feet still attached. He tried to imagine what it was like for Kara to be tied down, muffled, watching the needle grow closer and closer, knowing that there was nothing she could do to save herself or the baby._

" _Don't make me regret bringing you here, Green," Tex warned, his voice serious._

 _Ignoring the tongs and forceps, which must have been upset when Kara escaped from the chair, scattered across the floor, Danny scanned the wall of medical equipment searching for the items that Doctor Scott requested. "We can't tell her."_

" _You'll have to be a little clearer than that, Danny-boy. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a mind reader."_

 _Danny's hands tightened on a bottle of gel until the top popped off, the goo oozing onto his hand. "We can't tell Kara where we got the ultrasound machine."_

 _Tex scowled. "Probably should keep this from the Doc as well. When I told her that I knew where to go, I wasn't really specific on the details. Wouldn't put it past her to refuse to use this stuff on principle."_

Present

"I don't know," Danny admitted, hating the anguish in Kara's eyes – and hating himself for not being able to fix it. "But we can figure it out. We _will_ figure it out if we need to."

For a long moment they stood there, neither one moving, then Kara stepped back, her hand dropping from Danny's shirt. "Everyone on the ship knows about the baby. How will I tell them…."

"You won't need to tell them anything," Danny rushed to assure her.

 _One Hour Earlier_

 _Danny waited while McGregor, Thorwald's second in command and apparent successor, stepped out of the rhib, followed by several of his people. Danny examined him with a critical eye, noting how the man's shoulders curled down, as though he felt the weight of the world bearing down on him._

 _Maybe he did. With Granderson and Thorwald both dead, Baltimore was on the verge of collapse, the little remaining infrastructure failing as people fled from Avocet, while the sick continuing to stream to Olympia by the hundreds, despite cessation of Avocet's broadcasts._

" _Doubt he'll stay in charge long," Burk murmured as he approached Danny and Tex, followed by Miller and Cruz, who was whistling an off-key tune._

 _Danny agreed. McGregor might have the military training and strategic vision to be an invaluable asset during a turf war, but he was no Thorwald, lacking the charisma and confidence necessary to govern. With a pang, Danny realized that McGregor had a lot in common with Smith, one of those men content to live in the background, excellent at what they did but with no interest in advancement. Baltimore would need someone stronger to deal with the myriad problems created by the virus and Amy Granderson's disastrous reign._

" _What were they doing on the ship?" Danny asked. "Thought the XO locked it down."_

" _See the bald guy with them?" Burk replied, motioning towards a small, thin man with a receding hairline who was wearing a Hawaiian shirt that was at least two sizes too large. "He was one of the doctors recruited by Avocet. A Harvard professor, apparently. He was the one who tipped Thorwald off to what was going on. He's been living in the tunnels for months, hiding from Granderson. Now he's in charge of getting the Avocet lab up and running. Doctor Scott wanted to talk to him personally before giving him the vaccine."_

" _Can't imagine why," Tex muttered._

" _Guy must have checked out. He's carrying a CDC case," Danny noted._

 _The three stood in silence as McGregor, the scientist, and the three other men climbed into one of Granderson's SUVs and headed out. Danny turned to see Burk's eyes glued on the crate Tex and Danny had commandeered to move the ultrasound machine and other supplies that they had collected, worried about the equipment being damaged in transit._

 _Burk's eyes rose to meet Danny's. "Is that for Kara?"_

" _Yeah."_

 _Burk's gaze flickered away and then back. "I heard what happened. With Kara. Is she okay?"_

 _Okay._

 _It was such a loaded word. Would Kara recover physically? He had to believe that she would, unable to even consider the possibility of losing her now, after everything that had happened. Emotionally? Again, Danny assumed she would – Kara was nothing if not tough, her childhood forcing her to develop coping skills long before most other children, and she had certainly dealt with the whole pandemic better than he did._

 _But would she be okay? He didn't know. Would any of them ever be okay again?_

" _I hope so." It was all that he could manage._

" _If there's anything you need – you or Kara – let us know. We'll get it," Burk responded, reaching over to clap a hand on Danny's shoulder._

 _As Danny looked at Burk, then Cruz, then Miller, and then Tex, it occurred to him that Captain Chandler had been right. He had feared that telling these men about how he screw up the mission at Gitmo, how he almost wrecked the ship, how he put Kara above all of them, would destroy their faith in him as a leader. But that wasn't what had happened. Instead, opening up, telling them the truth and showing them his vulnerability, had brought them all closer together._

 _Leaving him feeling just a little less alone._

Present

A look that Danny couldn't identify crossed Kara's face. "They know what happened, don't they. All of them."

Danny shifted awkwardly. "Yes."

"Carlton, I assume?"

Danny shrugged, not caring that he was throwing the man under the bus. "Probably."

A grimace crossed Kara's face and then she rolled her eyes "And I used to think high school girls were bad. They have _nothing_ on bored sailors."

Stunned by her words, Danny found himself sniggering, then breaking into full-blown laughter, unable to stop as Kara stalked past him with a look of disgust on her face. "Well, come on then, let's get this over with, one way or another."

Entering sick bay sobered Danny up immediately. Eons seemed to pass as Doctor Scott finished up with a patient and then gestured them into the small cabin where Danny had recovered from Dengue Fever. Entering the tiny space last, Danny squeezed against the wall to give Doctor Scott room to work, not missing how she turned the monitor of the ultrasound machine away from Kara. As Doctor Scott smoothed the gel over Kara's stomach and pressed the wand against Kara's stomach, Danny wished that there was enough room for him to sit on the bunk with her, to hold her hand. An eternity seemed to pass before Doctor Scott straightened, a relieved smile breaking across her face as she turned the monitor around.

"Kara and Danny, meet your child."


	14. Until you heal the Wounds of your Past

_Ch. 14 – "Until you heal the Wounds of your Past, You Will Continue to Bleed." – Iyanla Vanzant_

 _x_

"Your wound is healing nicely," Rachel commented as she poked at the bruise and jagged cut along Kara's abdomen. "Sorry about that. I know it must be tender. Now to take a quick look at the baby."

Just like she had every day of the last week, Kara held her breath until the screen lit up, revealing that the tiny person inside of her was currently doing acrobatics. Danny laughed, his hand sliding over to rest on her knee. "He's busy today."

Moving her leg away from Danny– rather less discreetly than she intended if Rachel's raised eyebrow was any indication – Kara smiled tightly. "Must be all the sugar from breakfast. I could never resist Bacon's chocolate chip pancakes."

Rachel removed the wand from Kara's stomach, wiping off the excess gel with a washcloth. "Everything looks great, Kara. Just remember to take it easy? Same time tomorrow?"

Four days ago Rachel had reluctantly agreed to allow Kara to return to CIC on two conditions. First, Kara was supposed to limit the time she spent on her feet, something that turned out to be quite easy given that any time she tried to move, at least three people offered to help her, the entire CIC treating her as though she was made of spun glass. The second condition was that Kara swing by Rachel's laboratory before each shift to check for any changes in the baby's conditions, a condition that immediately became Kara's favorite part of the day.

"Actually I'm on morning shift tomorrow," Kara explained. "I could come by during my lunch break if that works?"

"Lieutenant Green?"

"I'll make it work," Danny replied, his voice flat. Kara busied herself adjusting her uniform, not wanting to look at him, knowing he would be wearing that wounded puppy-dog look, the one that appeared each time she reminded him about the rules on physical contact.

But she was not going to fall for the lost-little-boy routine. Not again. Not when she had far more pressing things to worry about – like where she was going to live and how she was going to raise this baby.

Unfortunately, Kara was so busy avoiding Danny's gaze that she didn't notice Rachel leaving the small space, caught off guard when Danny stepped between her and the door. "If you're on morning shift, do you have leave tomorrow night?"

Kara looked up without intending to, noticing the bags under his eyes and the tension lines on his forehead, fighting the urge to smooth them away with her fingers. "Um, yeah. I'm planning to curl up in bed with a good book."

She immediately regretted admitting that she didn't have plans for the evening.

"I have leave too. Well, until midnight," Danny corrected, reminding Kara that he was still serving his punishment for fraternizing. So much had happened since Kara learned that she was pregnant, it was hard to believe that mere weeks had passed. "Captain Chandler gave us permission to leave the ship so long as we don't go anywhere alone. Maybe we could get off the ship. Go somewhere private."

Kara's chest tightened, making it hard to breath. The idea of leaving the ship right now was, quite frankly, terrifying. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"I didn't mean _private_ private," Danny added quickly, his words tripping over each other, apparently misunderstanding the reason for her reluctance. "I meant somewhere we could talk. That's all."

Flushing, Kara looked away, afraid that he would see the way her heart was racing at the thought of a private moment. Imagining him backing her into the wall, his mouth on hers, lifting her until she could wrap her legs around him, his skin hot to the touch as he pressed slowly into her, the simple motion enough for her body to begin contracting around his…

 _Fuck._

Crossing her arms over her chest to hide her hardening nipples, Kara fixed her eyes on a spot to the left of Danny's head. Danny was right about one thing. They did need to talk – somewhere off the ship where they didn't run the risk of being overheard or interrupted every two seconds – and her body would just have to get with the program. "Okay, but I don't want to go far. Just in case."

"Great." His voice was so enthusiastic that she couldn't help but glance at him, noticing the bright smile on his face. The one that used to make her heart flip but now just left a bitter taste in her mouth. He probably smiled like that at every woman he met. "I'll find a place. A close one. And I'll let Doctor Scott and Tex know where we are going in case you start feeling sick or something."

"My shift starts in five minutes," Kara interrupted the flow of words, wishing that she could tap her watch to emphasize the point but unwilling to chance moving her arms.

Danny's smile slipped for the briefest of seconds before he regrouped, stepping to the side to let her pass. "Right. Okay. So 1200 tomorrow?"

"Yes." Slipping by him, Kara walked swiftly towards the corridor.

"And, Kara, thank you."

Despite knowing it was a bad idea, Kara turned. "For what?"

"For letting me be here when Doctor Scott does the ultrasounds." A haunted look crossed his face. "I know it's kind of uncomfortable for you but it means a lot to me. To be able to see him – or her. To know that he's okay. So thank you."

With a sharp nod, Kara escaped out the door, hoping that she would be able to make it to the head before she burst into tears.

 _Damn she hated hormones._

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kara paused at the threshold, hand raised, her stomach churning as she recalled the last time she was in this cabin. Captain Chandler's words, his anger at what he clearly viewed as a betrayal, were still fresh in her mind and, despite Andrea's repeated assurances that Kara was welcome to remain on the Nathan James for as long as she wanted, Kara couldn't help but worry about the reason for today's summons. Since Rachel released Kara from bed rest, she had seen Captain Chandler only twice, both times as he was boarding the rhib to attend to business in Baltimore.

In fact, the last time that Kara spoke with Captain Chandler was at Avocet, a memory that she would rather forget.

 _Seven Days Ago_

" _Get down," Tex hissed at the sound of approaching footsteps. With almost nowhere to hide in the open corridor, the three took refuge behind a glass display case holding what appeared to be a bust of Thomas Jefferson's head. As she crouched, Kara barely contained a scream as every muscle in her abdomen protested and she felt a fresh wave of liquid begin seeping down her stomach._

" _Well, I'll be," Tex murmured, beginning to rise._

 _Rachel grabbed his jacket, hissing, "What are you doing?"_

" _The cavalry's arrived." Tex nodded towards the approaching figures before standing up, gun to the side, completely defenseless. Despite her confidence in Tex, Kara felt her hand tighten around the gun she was clutching as a flashlight was aimed in their direction._

 _The only way Amy Granderson was getting her back into that room was in a body bag._

" _Hey, Commodore." Tex spoke quietly, not making any quick moves._

" _He's with me."_

 _Hearing Captain Chandler's distinctive voice, Kara felt tears of relief pressing against the back of her eyes, but she knew that now was not the time to break down. Nodding to Rachel, both women stood. At the sight of her, Tom Chandler frowned, but when he spoke the question was directed to Tex rather than Kara._

" _What's Lieutenant Foster doing with you?"_

" _Crazy witch doctor tried to get the cure from Kara," Tex replied, his tone hard, not a single smidge of his usual humor._

" _I killed him, sir," Kara added. Captain Chandler's eyes bore into her for long seconds; his gaze flickered from her face down to the hand clutching her bleeding abdomen, before turning to Rachel._

" _You okay?"_

 _Dumbfounded, Kara stared at Captain Chandler, his question – his concern for Rachel – echoing through her head._

" _I'm fine. Quincy's dead," Rachel replied, her voice shaking from the effort to stay calm._

" _I'm sorry," Captain Chandler replied. He turned to a mousy man who Kara did not recognize. "Can you get them out of here?"_

Present

A realist, Kara had never deluded herself about the important of her role on the Nathan James. As a lieutenant, Kara was senior enough to have some autonomy, but still junior enough not to receive (or expect) much attention from her commanding officers. But Captain Chandler always seemed like the exception to the rule in that regard, taking a personal interest in each member of his crew, making a point to talk to every person on the ship, remembering details about their lives, checking in during shore leave. And Kara had bought into the act, believing that he truly cared, even feeling guilty for letting him down by getting pregnant and asking to leave the ship.

 _Right up until the minute that he looked at her bleeding, broken body and turned away._

That was the instant when Kara realized that, like every other man in her life, she could not depend on Captain Thomas Chandler.

Even knowing that Captain Chandler's reaction was likely due, in part, to the loss of his wife, his coldness, his indifference to her pain still stung. Rachel Scott and the lab at Avocet were the priorities. Kara's unborn child was not. Kara bit her tongue, taking a deep breath and allowing her hand to descend. Right now the only thing that mattered was convincing Captain Thomas Chandler to allow her to stay on the ship long enough to get away from Baltimore and Avocet and any other insane scientist who might want to finish what Hamada began.

"Come in."

Kara stepped through the door with a confidence that she did not feel. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Foster, please sit." Captain Chandler set down the papers he was reviewing and waved her to the chair before him. "I understand that you've been back in CIC for a few days now."

"Yes, sir."

"How is morale down there?"

Kara paused. This was not the conversation that she was expecting. "All hands are holding up best they can, sir. Losing Commander Barker has shaken them."

"Barker was a good man, a good TAO. You up for replacing him?"

Kara studied the man before her – the steady voice, the confident eyes, the calm demeanor – everything about him screamed of his sincerity.

 _Yet a week ago she hadn't rated a moment of consideration._

Kara might not be able to reconcile the two versions of Captain Chandler, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Serving as the Nathan James's TAO would give her a level of security that she desperately needed, at least in the short term. "Absolutely, sir."

The pen in Captain Chandler's hand twitched. "How are you feeling physically?"

"Fine." Kara felt a twinge of guilt as she recalled the quick stop she made to lose her lunch less than an hour ago. Still, there were some things that you just did not discuss with your commanding officer and vomit was one of them.

"Good. I'll advise Commander Slattery of the change."

Kara knew a dismissal when she heard one. She stood, and then paused. "I never did get a chance to tell you how sorry I was... am about your wife, sir."

"Thank you." Kara was about to open the door when Captain Chandler spoke again. "I'm glad that you are back on your feet, Lieutenant. What happened to you was … deplorable. I know that I speak for the entire crew when I say that I am relieved to know that there were no permanent repercussions."

Flummoxed, Kara could do nothing more than blink. Finally pulling herself together, she nodded. "Thank you, sir."

Fifteen minutes later, she was still attempting to reconcile today's concern with Captain Chandler's indifference at Avocet when Mason bustled into CIC with an armful of laptops gathered from Olympia. Deliberately setting the quandary aside, Kara focused on the task at hand. This promotion to TAO was her second chance and Kara did not plan to give Captain Chandler (or anyone else) reason to doubt her dedication.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"This is incredible!"

Her gasp echoing in the towering space, Kara glanced over to see Danny beaming. "Tex found it, of course, but I knew that you would love it. Look over here."

Before Danny could raise his hand to the small of her back, something he had tried several times over the last hour, Kara headed in the direction of the floor-to-ceiling tank on the far side of the room. Feeling his eyes trailing after her, she fought to contain a shiver. When mentally preparing to spend the evening in Danny's company, Kara had forgotten one important consideration; namely that both of them would be out of uniform.

To Kara's dismay, when she went to get dressed earlier this evening she found that her jeans pressed directly against the sensitive portion of her stomach. Unfortunately, that left her to choose between a sundress and cardigan or her gym clothes, and Kara refused to leave the ship in stretch pants and a baggy shirt. It was only after she was on deck, seeing the way Danny's eyes lit up at the sight of her, that she realized her strategic mistake.

 _She was dressed as if this was a date._

Stopping before an enormous tank, Kara watched a group of small, silver fish dart by. "The fish are still alive?"

"A lot of them are. They've created their own ecosystem." Danny replied, moving until he was standing directly behind her. Studying their reflection in the glass, Kara couldn't deny that they made a good-looking couple. Her eyes skimmed over Danny's figure-hugging maroon pullover and slim dark jeans, realizing that he must have shaved just before meeting her because the five o'clock shadow that he usually wore by this time of day was absent. Seeing them like this, Kara could almost imagine what might have happened if the virus never struck and the Nathan James returned to Norfolk as planned.

 _What it would have been like if tonight really was a date._

Danny met her eyes in the reflection and Kara flushed as she was caught gazing not at the fish, but at him. His eyes fixed on hers in the glass, Danny's hands rose to her hips and he slowly shifted until their bodies were flush against each other, his arms wrapped around her waist.

"Someone might see us." It was a weak protest and Kara knew it.

Danny's lips pressed against her temple and Kara felt herself relaxing back into him, her eyes sliding closed as her body thrilled at the familiar contact. "We have this place all to ourselves. Scout's honor."

His lips were moving lazily down her neck now and Kara was so very tempted to turn around, to pull him in for a kiss, to mold herself to him, to forget about tomorrow and the day after and see where this night went. One of his hands shifted, brushing across her breast, causing Kara to jerk away. Danny's hands dropped away instantly.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Sighing, Kara turned, taking a step back. Knowing that it was for the best didn't make the lost contact any easier. "It's not you. They're sore."

A puzzled look crossed his face and then eased. "Because of the baby?"

"Yeah."

"Are you having other … symptoms?" Danny asked, turning to walk along the tank, arms folded behind him.

Kara followed reluctantly. This was why they were here, after all. To talk about the baby. Not to do...other things. "Some nausea and headaches. Rachel says it's a good sign."

"Is there anything that I can do?"

His sincerity made Kara smile. "I think you've done enough, Danny."

Caught off guard by the teasing, he gawked at her for a few seconds before chuckling. "Come on, I have something I want to show you."

Curious, Kara trailed Danny to the other side of the tank. Holding the door, Danny waved her inside. "After you."

The room was dark, the only illumination several candles on a platform across the way. As she drew closer, Kara could see that the candles were set on the table arranged for two people, with covered trays of food before each chair. Surprised, she looked over at Danny. "Did you plan all this?"

"Tex and Carlton helped a bit," he admitted. Pulling out a chair, he waved her to sit. "Please, sit."

Lifting the lid of her tray, Kara was assaulted by the smell of steak and potatoes – far from the usual Naval fare. "This smells delicious…"

Raising her head, Kara was startled to see that instead of sitting down on the other side of the table, as she was expecting, Danny was in the process of dropping to one knee, a small box clutched in one hand. With a rush of panic Kara abruptly realized what this – the beautiful location, the candlelight, the special meal – was all about. Shoving back her chair, Kara stood.

"Please don't. Don't make it worse than it already is."


	15. When the Floodgates Open

_Ch. 15 – When the Floodgates Open_

 _x_

"Well if it isn't the happy couple," Tex chortled as Danny came over the rail behind Kara. Danny winced when he realized that, in addition to Tex, Burk, Cruz, and Miller were also hanging out on deck waiting for their return.

Kara took a long look at the gathered men, her eyes narrowing. "And you _all_ thought tonight was a good idea?"

"Um...it wasn't?" Burk was the first to crumble.

"No wonder you're single." With a flounce, Kara disappeared below deck.

Tex cocked his head. "Not a good time to break out the champagne?"

"No," Danny replied wishing, for the second time that evening, that the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

 _Two Hours Prior_

 _Danny froze, certain that he must have misheard, but even in the dim light there was no mistaking the look on Kara's face. Rather than joy, or excitement, or even shock, she looked furious. Abruptly, Danny realized that he was still on one knee, ring box clutched in his hand, and a combination of mortification and rage swept through him._

 _"What do you mean worse?" He snapped, jerking upright, but keeping the presence of mind to slip the ring box back into his pocket. "I thought you would want to get married."_

 _Kara's hands went to her hips, an action that Danny knew from prior experience meant she was pissed – really pissed. "What would make you think that? We're not even together, Danny."_

 _That caught him off guard. "Of course we're together."_

 _"Really? Because what I remember happening is that you dumped me after we got back from the Vyerni!"_

 _"You know why I did that," he growled._

 _Kara glared at him. "You didn't talk to me for six weeks, Danny! Six weeks! Am I supposed to just forget about that?"_

 _He closed his eyes, ignoring the guilt clawing at him. The whole time he was ignoring her, fixated on following the rules, determined not to let her distract him, she was pregnant. Pregnant and alone. "We had to focus on the mission."_

 _"And now we don't?"_

 _"It's different," he prevaricated._

 _"Because I'm pregnant." The words were a statement rather than a question._

 _"Yes," he practically roared the word, lashing out in his frustration._

 _"So what, we have sex once and we're stuck together for life?" Kara sounded more incredulous than angry. "Did Captain Chandler put you up to this? Remind you of your obligations?"_

 _Danny glowered at her, baffled and infuriated by the insinuation that this wasn't his idea. So much for Burk's theory that Kara would see a proposal as a sign of Danny's commitment. "No! Nobody is making me do anything. I love you!"_

 _"You know, I might actually believe you if you weren't yelling at me every time you said that!" Kara snapped back. She turned away, giving him her profile. "This isn't 1850, Danny. We don't need to get married just because I'm knocked up."_

 _"I'm not worried about your reputation Kara. I'm worried about what will happen to you and the baby if I'm not around."_

Present

"I don't get it," Burk shook his head. "Kara has always sworn that she would never be a single mom. You must have really screwed something up. You didn't call her the wrong name by accident did you?"

The look that Danny gave Burk would have leveled most men. Unfortunately, Burk was pretty much immune to those by now. "Of course not. She loved the aquarium, by the way, Tex."

Tex chewed on a toothpick thoughtfully. "Think I could convince the Doc to join me there one night?"

Danny snorted. "Only if you fill it with sick patients or a laboratory. That woman is single-minded."

"It's not the worst idea I've heard," Tex replied.

"Now tell us how you screwed up, Green," Burk wheedled. "Kara is way too level headed to turn you down without a good reason."

 _Two Hours Prior_

 _The instant the words left his mouth, Danny knew that he had said something very, very, very wrong. Kara stormed towards him until her finger was poking – hard – into his chest. "I can take care of myself."_

 _Danny stared her at disbelievingly. "And what about the baby?"_

 _"You don't think I can take care of this baby?" Kara demanded._

 _Danny's hands found their way to her forearms, fighting the urge to shake her. "Have you seen what it's like out there Kara? How are you going to do that by yourself? You need me!"_

 _A hiss was his only warning. "Yes I know what it's like out there! I was the one who was dragged off the ship, remember? I was the one who was tied down to a table! I was the one who had to deal with that lunatic doctor! I was the one who had her stomach slashed open! I know exactly what it is like out there."_

" _I didn't mean…"_

 _Kara cut off his attempted apology before he could begin. "You think I need you? Well where were you when I was carried off the Nathan James? Where were you when Hamada was pressing that needle into my stomach? Where were you when I was getting out of Avocet? I was the one who killed Hamada. I was the one who saved this baby. So don't tell me that I need you. Because I have already proven that I will do whatever I need to do to protect this child whether you are around or not."_

 _Danny was stunned by her intensity. "You're right."_

 _The simple answer must have caught Kara by surprise, because rather than respond she just stared at him, her angry tears shimmering in the candlelight._

 _"You're right – I wasn't there." Danny struggled to get the words past the lump in his throat. "I thought you would be safe on the ship. So I left you there. I didn't even try to get back. I had no idea you were at Avocet. And I would do anything to change that."_

 _Tears flowed down Kara's face, her hands twisting until she was clutching at his shirt. Now that the words had started, Danny couldn't seem to shut them off. "At first it seemed so simple. Focus on the mission. Get a vaccine. Get home. And then we could work things out. I never thought, never imagined that it would be like this. That they would be doing things like … that. Hurting people. Hurting you."_

 _"Me either," Kara whispered, a hand coming up to cup his cheek, and Danny realized that she was not the only one crying. His arms moved from her arms to her back, clasping her against him._

 _"I saw the room, Kara. Tex showed me. And all I could think about it was how much I wished the bastard was still alive so I could kill him myself. What he tried to do..." His voice broke. "God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there."_

 _In response, Kara wrapped an arm around his neck, drawing his head down until their heads were side-by-side, their tears mingling as they wept._

Present

"Women get funny ideas about these things," Cruz said with a shrug. "She probably had some romantic idea about the guy getting down on one knee," Danny hoped nobody noticed his wince, "and professing his love or some such shit. Maybe we should ask Garnett for her take."

"Bet you twenty that you don't have the balls to ask Commander Garnett how her husband proposed," Miller said to Cruz.

"You are on," Cruz grinned.

Danny rolled his eyes, not in the mood to deal with Miller's gullibility tonight. Fortunately Burk was there to fill in the gap. "And how are you going to know that he doesn't just make it up, Miller?"

Miller's eyes grew wide. "But that's cheating."

"Damn you're easy," Cruz replied with a shake of his head.

"It's not that exciting anyway," Tex added. "Garnett's husband sent her a box of those candy rings and asked her to pick her favorite color and ring size while she was out to sea. She picked green. When she got home there was an emerald waiting for her."

 _Two Hours Prior_

 _Danny wasn't sure how long they stood there after the tears stopped, simply holding each other, before Kara raised her head._

" _I guess, um, we should head back to the ship," she said finally, awkwardly, not quite looking at him._

 _His eyes fell on their dinner, the steak and potatoes that Tex had commandeered from Avocet and somehow convinced Bacon to cook, still sitting on the table. "I did promise you dinner."_

" _I'm not sure that I can eat right now," Kara demurred, only to be betrayed by the growling of her stomach. She grimaced. "Okay, I guess I am hungry."_

" _Bacon did the potatoes au gratin the way you like," Danny commented as he pulled Kara's chair out, struggling to find a neutral topic of conversation._

" _They look delicious." She took a bite, fiddling with her silverware. "I didn't know that you knew that."_

" _Knew what?" Danny tentatively took a forkful of what were supposedly potatoes, although they looked more like grits. He was pleasantly surprised to discover that they were rather tasty and still passable warm due to the lids on the plates._

" _How I liked my potatoes," Kara explained. "I don't even remember telling you that."_

 _Now it was Danny's turn to fiddle with his silverware. "I wasn't goofing around in the Arctic, Kara. I always knew that you were something special. I want to make this – to make us – work. I meant what I said at Gitmo, and it hasn't changed. I love you."_

 _Kara took her time cutting into the steak, the words hanging between them. "Those days feel very…far away. That person feels very far away. Things are different now. I'm different now."_

 _Danny swallowed a piece of the perfectly cooked steak, barely tasting it, his mind returning to his first tour in Iraq; the first time that he killed someone up close, the first time he watched the life drain out of someone else's eyes and knew that he was responsible. Kara might have served in the Navy for years, might have fired at live targets, might have killed, but nothing in her past could have prepared her for that moment at Avocet. "It changes all of us. Killing someone like that. No matter the reason."_

" _Have you ever felt betrayed?" Kara asked after a pause, her eyes coming up to meet his, her gaze intense yet vulnerable. "No, that's not quite right. More like being let down by someone you trusted?"_

 _For just an instant, Danny was back on the cruise ship watching Frankie raise the pistol to his head, watching him pull the trigger, watching him pick death over his best friend. Without stopping to think, he blurted out, "Benz."_

" _Frankie?" Kara replied, obviously startled._

 _Danny sawed through the delicate steak as roughly as though it were gristle. "On the cruise ship. He didn't even know for sure that he had the virus. He didn't wait to find out or to fight it. I kept asking him to put the gun down but he wouldn't listen. He just gave up."_

" _I didn't know you felt that way," Kara said softly._

 _Danny shrugged. "I don't really. Not anymore. Seeing you so sick made me realize…well, I can see why he didn't want to face that."_

" _I don't remember you being there," Kara said, frowning._

" _The CO let us come by to say goodbye. It was after Gibson died. I thought you were going to be next. I kept wondering which breath would be the last," Danny explained, shoving the remainder of his food around his plate. "Is this about Gitmo, Kara? Is that why you said no? Because I let you down when I broke it off?"_

" _No, not really," Kara replied slowly. "We were breaking the rules and tempting fate. I'm not happy about how you did things, but I can understand why."_

 _He set down his silverware. "Then what?"_

 _Kara moved her dinner around her plate slowly. "At Avocet, after … after we got out of the room, we ran into Captain Chandler and Thorwald's men. I knew that the CO was disappointed and angry with me about the baby but that night he couldn't even look at me. He didn't ask what happened or how I was. I thought, well, I thought he cared more than that."_

" _He cares," Danny reassured her. "He asks about you every day when Tex and I escort him to Avocet."_

 _Kara looked astounded. "He hasn't said anything to me. Well, just the one time when we talked about me stepping in as acting TAO."_

 _For some reason, his conversation with Captain Chandler after his confessed to fraternizing flashed through Danny's mind. "Maybe he doesn't know what to say."_

 _That drew a snort from Kara. "I've never seen the CO at a loss for words."_

" _When we got back to the harbor after everything went to hell at Avocet, Burk and I wanted to retake the ship. The Captain was the one who said no. He wanted to draw the officers off the James, figuring that would make it easier to retake and save lives. It was the right decision strategically but if we had retaken the ship that night…" Danny let the sentence fade._

" _I never would have been at Avocet," Kara concluded._

Present

Danny, Burk, Miller, and Cruz all turned to stare at Tex.

"How in God's name did you get Commander Garnett to tell you how her husband proposed?" Burk demanded.

Tex shrugged. "It came up. But enough about Garnett. What did KFC say when you popped the question, Green?"

"She said she wasn't ready," Danny said with a shrug. "She was surprised and wants to take some time to think about things. That's all."

"That's Foster for you," Burk said with a shake of his head.

"You're kidding, right?" Cruz replied, disgusted. "That's _all_? No drama? Damn. Please tell me that girl is a little more exciting in bed than out of it."

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about," Danny growled.

"And a senior officer," Burk added.

Cruz tossed up his hands. "I got it, I got it. No need to get your panties in a knot."

"I wouldn't worry too much about Green," Tex remarked. "He did manage to get the girl pregnant on a destroyer full of sailors. Not the easiest of tasks, if you catch my drift."

"Enough," Danny snapped, heading for the door. "I need to get ready for watch."

"I'll grab Halsey for you." Tex waited until they were in the pathway before leaning towards Danny, his voice dropping. "You ever going to tell us the real story?"

"Not a chance in hell."

 _One Hour Prior_

" _Thank you for dinner," Kara said primly as Danny pulled out her chair and helped her to her feet._

" _You're welcome."_

" _Do we need to clean up?" She asked, looking around._

 _Danny shook his head. "Tex promised to handle it."_

 _Kara arched an eyebrow at him. "Just how many people know about tonight?"_

 _Shit. Danny suspected that Kara would not be pleased to learn the real figure. "Well, the guys. And Bacon. And Captain Chandler. I had to run the…idea by him."_

 _And everyone else on the ship barring – maybe – Commander Garnett, Doctor Scott and Alisha. Although Danny wouldn't be shocked to find out that Commander Garnett had wheedled the information out of Tex. That woman was dangerous._

 _The eyebrows arched higher, and Kara bit down on her lip. "What are you going to tell them when we get back?"_

 _Fuck. He was going to have to explain to every single one of them that she turned him down._

" _You could say that I asked for some time to consider it," Kara offered, no longer bothering to hide her smile._

" _This is going to suck," Danny groaned._

" _Well, if it makes it any better, I enjoyed dinner," Kara said, smirking at him. "Thank you for a lovely date, Mr. Green."_

 _Kara leaned up, balancing against his chest as she brushed her lips against his. For about half a second the kiss remained innocent before they were straining towards each other, Kara's arms winding around his neck. Danny reached for her, remembering only at the last instant to avoid her sore breasts, and instead sliding his hands under her butt, picking her up just long enough to maneuver them towards one of the chairs, tumbling Kara onto his lap. He was just sliding a hand under her skirt, stroking up the length of her leg, when Kara broke the kiss._

" _Argh," Kara dropped her head to his shoulder with a groan. "We can't. Rachel said no sex."_

 _Danny's brain was only half functioning. "What?"_

" _No sex," Kara repeated. "Fuck. This is so unfair."_

 _He took a minute to try to compose his thoughts, leaning his forehead against hers while he got himself back under control. Sort of. Hell, Kara was right, this sucked. "We've gone months, Kara. I think we can wait a couple more weeks."_

" _Yeah, well you aren't the one stuck dealing with these crazy hormones," Kara retorted, her frustration and exasperation obvious. "I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin."_

" _Wait, pregnancy makes you horny?" The look that Kara gave him was glacial. "Just so I understand, the baby makes you want to have sex but you can't have sex because of the baby?"_

" _Pretty much," Kara grumbled. "It's all I can think about. The other day at lunch you had this spot of mayonnaise on your upper lip. I kept imagining licking it off. And I hate mayonnaise."_

" _Just no sex or no … anything?" Danny asked after his brain cleared enough for coherent thought. The idea of Kara fantasizing about him in the wardroom was doing nothing to help the situation._

" _No penetration, due to risk of infection," Kara explained primly, cheeks rather pink at the clinical description._

" _So the challenge is to get you off another way?" Kara's eyes widened as Danny's hand stroked back up her leg. He grinned at her in the darkness, leaning towards her, stopping when their lips were a hairbreadth apart._

" _Challenge accepted."_


	16. Silence Can Speak Louder than Words

_Ch. 16 – Silence Can Speak Louder than Words_

 _x_

"Lieutenant Foster, may I speak with you?" Master Chief Jeter waited patiently for her response, not taking for granted that his question would be answered affirmatively.

As always, his respectful manner struck Kara. Out of everybody on the Nathan James, the Master Chief was the one person who Kara honestly believed did not think less of her over the situation with Danny and the pregnancy, which was almost strange considering the strict moral code that the man himself lived by. It was obvious that the Master Chief truly believed the words he spoke about forgiveness and not judging others.

"Of course, Master Chief," she replied, waving him towards the rather small room to the side of the CIC that doubled as equipment storage and the TAO's office. "You're in charge until I return, Kirkland."

"Yes, ma'am."

Knowing that all eyes were on them – the Master Chief was rarely in CIC unless they were conducting an operation or exercise – Kara couldn't help but wonder what he wanted to discuss. While Jeter's duties officially centered on the enlisted personnel, he was highly respected and admired by the crew – meaning that he was often called in to mediate disputes or address sensitive topics. Try as she might, thought, Kara could not think of any recent issues that would have required the Master Chief's special touch. While her promotion to TAO had certainly raised a few eyebrows, Kara wasn't aware of any direct objections and she had chosen to deal with the more subtle problem of being a main source of gossip on the ship by completely ignoring it. There was one incident with Wright that had required her immediately attention (as it occurred in front of the XO), but given that Wright was generally disliked by his fellow sailors, the correction was viewed with more amusement than resentment by the rest of CIC.

"What can I help you with Master Chief?" Kara asked as the door closed behind him, awarding them a certain amount of privacy – even if it did mean standing rather close together. Kara made a mental note not to use this space again, knowing how much gossip standing in this close of proximity to any other member of the crew would create. Fortunately, the Master Chief was above all suspicions.

"I wanted to speak with you about Lieutenant Granderson. I understand that you haven't seen her in a few days."

Kara shifted awkwardly, the Master Chief's words hitting a little too close to home. "She seemed so agitated each time that I went to visit that I thought perhaps it would be better to give her some time."

Jeter nodded, his face remaining solemn. "I thought it might be something of that nature. I spoke with the Lieutenant earlier today, and she seemed concerned that you were upset with her over the events at Avocet. She mentioned that you seemed unwilling to look her directly in the eyes."

 _Fuck._

Kara felt nauseous and, despite the frequency of that event over the past couple of weeks, she knew this time had nothing to do with the pregnancy. Alisha was her _best friend_ – the woman who was willing to put aside her own life make a new one with Kara and the baby in Baltimore (back before they knew the hell they were walking into, of course). And yet, every time Kara tried go see Alisha, she found herself turning around halfway there, deciding to wait one more day. Not because she blamed Alisha for what happened – that would have been idiotic, Alisha was just as much a victim of Amy Granderson's insanity as Kara herself – but because Alisha understood only too well what Kara had gone through.

Alisha was _there_. She had _met_ the people involved. She _knew_ what had happened.

Unlike Andrea or Burk, Alisha couldn't be brushed off with vague explanations, reluctant to push the matter further. And unlike Rachel or Danny, Alisha hadn't been updated in real time over the past week, making explanations unnecessary. Kara knew that, until they spoke, Avocet and Amy Granderson would remain a barrier between them.

 _But the thought of talking about Avocet made Kara want to vomit._

 _The thought of hearing Hamada's name made her skin crawl._

 _The thought of telling Alisha how close her mother came to aborting Kara's child made her break out in a cold sweat._

Out of the blue, Danny's comment from the other night about Captain Chandler not knowing what to say to her at Avocet came to mind and, for the first time, Kara understood. Because, right now, Kara had absolutely no idea how to talk to Alisha without multiplying the guilt that Alisha already felt – and making the situation a thousand times worse.

And yet, wasn't silence worse than even the wrong words?

"I'll speak with her," Kara said finally. "Thank you for letting me know what she said."

"Actually, I was hoping that you might be able to do something a little more," Jeter explained. "Captain Chandler intends to promote Lieutenant Granderson to full lieutenant for her bravery and her loyalty while in Baltimore. I believe it would mean a great deal to if you were to participate in the promotion ceremony."

"I would be honored."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The two women stared at each other uncertainly as the door closed behind Captain Chandler and Master Chief Jeter. Kara wasn't sure how long they stood there in silence before she reached forward to hug Alisha, relieved when the other woman didn't stiffen or pull away. A minute later they were settled, somewhat awkwardly, on Alisha's bunk in sick bay.

Kara spoke quickly, before she lost her nerve and change the topic to something innocuous like Wright's most recent screw-up in CIC. "I'm sorry I didn't come by. I was so focused on what was going on with me that I wasn't there for you when you needed me."

"I didn't tell her about the baby." Alisha blurted, the words obviously sitting on the edge of her tongue.

Kara sucked in a deep breath. This is what she was dreading – this conversation – and yet, she couldn't avoid the topic forever. She and Alisha needed clear the air or else this would sit between them forever. Kara fought to keep her eyes on Alisha's face, Master Chief's words fresh in her mind. "I know. Danny told me. Rachel thinks they found out from my file. Nothing that happened at Avocet was your fault Alisha. _Nothing._ So please don't think that I blame you."

"I heard my mother talking to Hamada. I didn't know it was about you but I heard him say that he had found another way to develop the vaccine…" Alisha's voice faltered and she trailed off, lost in her own memories.

Kara shuddered as she considered, once again, the possibility that the nightmare wasn't over; her information still floating out there for some other mad scientist to discover and finish what Hamada had begun. She hadn't mentioned her fear to anyone, even Danny, knowing that his response would be to expound on all of the reasons why it was unlikely to happen, not understanding that a one percent chance of ever being back in the position she was in at Avocet was one percent too much for Kara. "It's hard for me to talk about ... him ... but I do want to hear about what happened to you while you were there."

A sheen of tears appeared in Alisha's eyes before she nodded. "I spent most of the time in my mother's office. She actually blamed Doctor Scott and Captain Chandler for what happened – said if they had just shared the vaccine immediately she could have shut down Olympia." Alisha's eyes squeezed shut. "She kept trying to justify what she was doing. Saying how those people would have been dead anyway and she was making it easier for them. She didn't seem to recognize how horrible it all was. They were luring people to Olympia to kill them."

Kara set a hand on Alisha's knee, trying to think of something – anything – to say. "Living through the pandemic changed people, and we don't know what happened to her while we were gone. It may have been awful."

"And what could possibly have happened to her to justify killing people and then burning their bodies for fuel?" Alisha's voice was hard.

"Nothing," Kara whispered, unable to lie.

Alisha looked away. "I should have known that everything at Avocet was all wrong. My mother always took care of number one. Everything was about the bottom line, about how it would impact her career. She would never have been willing to protect strangers if she wasn't getting something in return."

"She was your mother, Alisha. You wanted to believe the best of her."

Alisha snorted, the sound bitter, but she did look back at Kara. "The strangest part was how cowed everyone was. While I was in my mother's office, dozens of people came by to discuss whether to admit more teachers and where to send patrols to look for more canned goods. None of them mentioned the James or what happened to Captain Chandler or the fact that Doctor Scott was being escorted around by armed guards. Half the time I didn't know what was real and what was a lie. When Danny's voice came on the radio, I thought I was imagining it."

"Danny?" Kara interrupted, realizing abruptly that her refusal to discuss the events at Avocet ran both ways – meaning that she had little idea of what everyone else – including Danny – was doing during the takeover.

"When the power went out, _Amy_ called the power plant to find out what the problem was. Danny picked up and said some crazy stuff. Carlton told me it was intentional to make sure she sent as many people to the power plant as possible, reducing the number of guards on the James and at Avocet. It worked. But I still don't know how Danny held that place for close to twenty minutes single-handedly."

Kara felt her chest tighten as she imagined Danny taking on so many men alone. She had never even asked what he was doing that night, so wrapped up in her own anger at him for not being where she wanted him to be. And then like a lightning bolt, comprehension struck. "Danny cut the power?"

"Yes, he cut the power while the Captain and Burk led the assault on Avocet," Alisha confirmed, sounding surprised. "You didn't know."

"No," Kara whispered. "I didn't."

"Have things improved any between the two of you?" Alisha asked, and Kara wondered if the change of topic was as much a relief to Alisha as it was to her.

"Actually, yes. Sort of. We finally talked." Kara wrinkled her nose. "Then he asked me to marry him. I said no."

"Oh boy." Alisha crossed her legs on the bed, turning to face Kara. "Sounds like you better start from the beginning."

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Kara came awake slowly, feeling groggy, her attention caught by an unfamiliar voice.

"Where do you think they did it?" Drawled the strange voice. "Hard to imagine those two going at it in a closet."

Cracking one eye, all Kara could see was green linoleum. Where was she?

"Your guess is as good as mine. Foster's a hardass and Green's a wet blanket. Remember the time he gave Cossetti double PT for a week for that drawing of Gibson's assets?"

Now _that_ was a voice Kara recognized. Rowler. Not her favorite guy but not the worst of the lot either (that award went almost by default to Wright). Besides, she didn't really mind being known as a hardass. Opening her eye a little further, Kara recognized the crew lounge. But what was she doing sleeping in the crew lounge?

"If Green gets wind of this conversation you'll get far worse than double PT," Cruz said dryly, the sound punctuated by the slap of a card on a table.

Probing her memory, Kara remembered coming by looking for Carlton after she left Alisha, needing some holes in her timeline of the events at Avocet plugged.

 _Did she really fall asleep in the crew lounge while talking to Carlton?_

She would never live this down.

"You've known Green a long time, right Cruz?" Rowler again.

"Yup."

"He ever done this before? Hooked up with someone on a cruise?"

The question piqued Kara's interest, curious of Cruz's response. Unfortunately the sound of a door interrupted them.

"Nothing better than going directly to the source. Green, Rowler here wants to know if you pick other officers up regularly," Cruz sounded amused. Kara could hear Rowler groaning and the other guy – maybe Walker? – chuckling.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no," Danny said in his best imitation XO voice.

The silence stretched until Rowler asked, in a rather defeated tone, "Double PT for the week?"

"I'll let it slide. But I better not hear that this topic has come up again. _Ever_. Now get out." Kara heard the door open and close again, presumably ushering out the other three men, followed by soft swishing of Danny's uniform as he crouched down before the couch. "You finished playing possum?"

Kara's eyes shot open, taking in the amused grin on his face. "But it was such an intriguing conversation."

That got his attention, and not in a good way. "If they said anything that bothered you..."

"Not at all." Kara pushed herself to a seated position. She didn't want to talk about Rowler or Walker or Cruz or anybody else on the ship right now. Reaching forward, she cupped Danny's face with her hands, leaning forward to press a firm kiss to his lips.

"What was that for?" Danny asked, obviously taken aback by the surprise show of affection.

"Thank you for being there when I needed you, even if I didn't know."


	17. Anything Worth Having is Worth Fighting

_Ch. 17 – Anything Worth Having is Worth Fighting For_

 _x_

" _Oh!"_

Danny flicked his thumb one final time, watching Kara's face as she orgasmed, a flush spreading across her cheeks. She giggled as she collapsing against the seat of the snowmobile, eyes shut, appearing completely relaxed. Danny grinned at the sound, feeling like the conquering hero despite his uncomfortable position wedged between the side of the snowmobile and a stack of boxes. He leaned in to press a kiss to the sensitive underside of her jaw, greedy for more giggles, more sighs, more groans.

When, at the end of their semi-disastrous evening in Baltimore, Danny tossed out an offer to help Kara with her little "problem" anytime she wanted, he didn't actually expect her to take him up on it. After all, in the Arctic it was Kara, much more than he, who was concerned about the fraternization rules and possible discovery. Given that the crew was now aware of their relationship, it was now even more difficult to spend time together without arousing suspicions. So when Kara made her request, she caught Danny completely off guard, his mind blanking when trying to think of somewhere on the ship where they wouldn't be interrupted. Fortunately, the storage room that he selected so arbitrarily turned out to be the perfect location, far enough off the beaten path for easy ingress and egress and with the added bonus of the snowmobile giving Kara a somewhat comfortable spot to sit.

A saucy smile crossed Kara's face and she pulled Danny to her for a lingering kiss, one foot running up and down his leg in a way that left him, once again, cursing Doctor Scott and her no sex decree. Assuming the rule was still in place, of course. For all he knew this was all self-inflicted torture but, given the circumstances, he couldn't very well ask, instead having to rely on the good Doctor to inform them if and when things changed. Danny shifted, catching Kara's leg and hooking it around his waist before reversing their positions so he was seated, Kara straddling his lap, earning another throaty giggle as he pressed up against her.

A week ago Danny didn't know that Kara _could_ giggle. He was seeing a whole new side of Kara, a light-hearted, almost silly side, and while he reveled in the fact that he could make her feel that way, Danny found himself thinking that they had gone about all of this backwards. There had been no giggling or happy afterglow or feeling of peace at Gitmo, only anguish which turned into intense desire – a distraction, really, from the hell around them. What was it that Tex called it?

 _Fucking in the face of death._

Was that how Kara saw it? Not an act of love or even passion but a way to affirm that they were still alive? A mistake that was compounded by their failure to consider the potential consequences?

Kara pulled back an inch, hands framing his face, stroking the bit of stubble that was always present by this time in the afternoon. "You want me to return the favor?"

 _God yes._

"No." His voice was hoarse, raspy. Seeing a shadow cross her eyes, Danny elaborated. "We have that meeting in twenty minutes. To talk about Norfolk before we dock tomorrow."

It was only half a lie. Given how turned on he was right now, twenty minutes would be _plenty_ of time for him to get off and still make the meeting (probably with time to spare). But Danny found himself oddly uncomfortable with the idea of his pregnant girlfriend – if she was even that – giving him a blowjob in a storage locker. In his head, Danny could hear Frankie giving him shit about being a prude, but it was more than that. Danny didn't want Kara to think that she needed to reciprocate, as though this were a quid pro quo rather than something that he wanted to do for her. Something he enjoyed.

 _God he sounded pathetic even to himself._

"I'll see you there, then?" Kara asked, her teasing tone disappearing at the mention of Norfolk. Standing up as best she could in the small space, she began fixing her clothes.

Danny caught her hands. "Are you doing okay?"

Kara bit down on her lip. "I just need to know one way or the other. She has her flaws but she's still my mom. She's all I have left."

Danny's exuberant mood deflated instantly. Picking his way around the snowmobile, he kept his tone neutral. "I asked Slattery to put us on the same team. Assuming Doctor Scott clears you to leave the ship, of course."

"Danny." Her voice was low, soft. "I didn't mean it like that."

He shrugged, pretending that the words didn't sting. Kara had enough on her plate without him adding to it. Although tomorrow would be ten days since the incident (as they had taken to calling it) at Avocet, Doctor Scott was still conducting daily ultrasounds. And after what happened in Baltimore, whatever hope Kara might have had of finding her mother alive seemed to have deserted her. "No big deal. I should go before someone starts looking for one of us."

He could tell from her face that Kara wasn't buying it but Danny pre-empted further argument by leaning across several boxes to capture her lips in a brief kiss before making his escape. Checking his watch on his way to his cabin to change his shirt (which was more than a bit wrinkled), he realized that it was a little earlier than he thought, and decided to retrieve Halsey for some much-needed exercise. They were almost to the deck when he ran into Master Chief Jeter.

"On your way to the briefing, sir?" Jeter asked.

Danny shook his head. "I'm headed to the deck, actually. Figured I could toss the ball to Halsey a few times."

"I'll join you," Jeter responded, falling into step with Danny. "I've been meaning to ask you how Halsey's leg is doing."

"You would never know he hurt it," Danny replied. Despite having almost no warning of the takeover of the Nathan James in Baltimore, Miller managed to lock Halsey in his cabin, keeping the dog away from Granderson's people and, more importantly, their guns. But while Danny knew that Miller most likely saved the dog's life, Halsey did not appreciated Miller's effort one bit, tearing apart the cabin in an attempt to escape, injuring himself and destroying Miller and Rowler's mattresses – and quite a few personal items – in the process.

"I'm glad to hear that. Admiral Halsey is a credit to you and your team," Jeter replied formally.

"Lieutenant Benz trained him well." Pulling Halsey's ball from his pocket reminded Danny of something else he needed to talk to the Master Chief about. "I've been meaning to return the ring that you loaned me. I'll bring it by your cabin tonight."

Jeter took a moment to respond, both men watching Halsey retrieve the bouncing ball. "I understood that Lieutenant Foster was still considering your offer."

 _Considering your offer._

Somehow the Master Chief made the whole debacle sound so … normal. As though women usually took weeks to respond to marriage proposals, rather than throwing their arms around the guy with a resounding _yes!_. At least Kara had stuck to the party line, informing anyone who asked – including Carlton, to Danny's surprise and relief – that she wasn't ready to make any major decisions given the events at Avocet. Recently, Danny had heard an alternative version of the story, probably engineered by Tex, stating that Kara asked Danny to wait because she didn't want to associate an engagement with the events in Baltimore. But no matter what the rumor mill said, Danny knew what really happened. "I'm pretty sure that any answer that isn't yes is actually a no."

That drew a chuckle from Jeter. "Young men today. You give up so easily."

Sensing that there was a story coming, Danny waited and, sure enough, the Master Chief continued. "I was twenty when I met my wife. I joined the Navy right out of high school and it was my first trip home since enlisting. I was young and arrogant and full of my own importance."

"That is hard to picture, Master Chief," Danny interjected, having difficulty seeing Jeter as anything other than the respectful, humble man he was today.

"Julia was new to town, her family having moved in after I left, and the moment I laid eyes on her I knew that she was the woman I would spend the rest of my life with." With anyone else, Danny would have rolled his eyes at the corniness, pointing out that there was no such thing as love at first sight. But not with Jeter. Jeter was not the kind of man to speak unnecessarily, and he was choosing to share this piece of his past with Danny for a reason. "Unfortunately, Julia was seeing another man, the young pastor at our church, and had no interest in me. I spent my entire leave unsuccessfully trying to convince her to go on a date."

"So what did you do?" Danny asked, curious despite knowing the obvious ending to this story.

"I wrote her. I wrote her letters once a week for the next year. She never responded. I never really expected her to. In my last letter told her that I would be in town for a week on leave. I still remember what happened next as clear as day. I had hitched a ride home with a friend and when he pulled up in front of the house, there she was, sitting on the porch drinking lemonade with my mother, waiting to welcome my home. We were married five days later and had sixteen beautiful years together."

Danny bounced the ball to Halsey again, riveted by the idea the Jeter spent a _year_ writing letters to a woman who never responded. It sounded vaguely stalkerish, to be honest, although Jeter certainly was not a threatening figure. At the very least, a year of unrequited letters sounded a bit … desperate. Danny turned to look at the Master Chief. "Why did you keep writing?"

A smile spread across Jeter's face, a faraway look in his eyes, his thoughts obviously on a different time and place. "When something is worth it, you keep trying. And I knew that she was worth it."

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"Lieutenant Green!"

The XO's booming voice carried down the p-way. Danny groaned, cursing his bad luck in running into Slattery the one time he was late for his overnight watch. "Sir?"

But Slattery's face looked more concerned than annoyed. "I saw you and Foster leaving the helo bay. Is there a problem?"

"No, sir. Everything is fine. Doctor Scott was clearing Lieutenant Foster to leave the ship tomorrow," Danny explained. Since Kara would be needed in CIC to help coordinate the approach to Norfolk, Doctor Scott agreed to do the final ultrasound tonight, rather than wait for the morning. "I was on my way to relieve Martinez."

A gleam that might have been amusement appeared in Slattery's eyes. "No need. CO decided to suspend the rest of your punishment. I've adjusted the schedule to put Walker and Gomez on overnights while we're in Norfolk since neither has family in the area."

Caught off guard, it took Danny a moment to answer. "Thank you, sir."

Now there was definitely a gleam of amusement in Slattery's eyes. "Assuming Norfolk checks out, CO plans to treat this stop as shore leave. That means you're not obligated to remain on the ship unless you have a duty shift."

 _In other words, Danny might actually be able to have more than twenty minutes of time, alone, with Kara._

"That applies to Lieutenant Foster as well. Let her know, will you?" Slattery was now openly grinning at him and Danny found himself grinning back.

"I'll make sure she gets the message."


	18. There are two ways to be fooled

_Ch. 18 – "There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true." Søren Kierkegaard_

 _x_

Kara shaded her eyes as she stepped onto the deck. The bright sunlight and cheerful call of seagulls felt incongruous with the harbor full of ships, all eerily empty, devoid of life. Entering the waterfront had been a disconcerting experience, so familiar and yet not, as they pulled up to the once bustling and now abandoned port, unoccupied apart from the handful of military personnel responding to their radio call.

Her stomach in knots, Kara recognized that this was merely a taste of what was to come as they moved into the city. A 70% infection rate –and that was nine weeks ago. By now, Rachel estimated that the rate of the dead or infected would be closer to 90%; which meant that of the one-hundred fourteen Nathan James crew members with family in Norfolk, more than a hundred of them would end the day with heartache – assuming they got any answer at all.

Catching sight of Commander Garnett, Kara moved towards the woman, knowing that Andrea would also be a ball of nerves despite her stoic appearance. It was only after she altered directions that Kara caught the quickly masked surprise on Cruz's face, and realized that she was now heading away from where Danny was standing at the far rail, loading his gear. Biting back a sharp retort, Kara kept moving towards her target. From the moment that she stepped on board the Nathan James without that damn ring, she had been under a spotlight, the crew watching her every step, analyzing her every action for a clue as to what was going on between her and Danny, the scrutiny making her feel like a bug under a microscope.

Her first instinct was to blame Danny for creating the situation. After all, he was the one who not just proposed, but let everyone know that he was proposing, something that was bound to attract the crew's notice. But Kara knew that even without the added element of the ill-fated proposal, she and Danny would have been the center of attention. That was the reason they were so careful in the Arctic, fearing not just the formal consequences of breaking the fraternization rules but also the awkwardness of becoming live entertainment for two-hundred odd sailors. Besides, although he hadn't complained, Kara suspected that the guys were probably razzing Danny far more than her. Unfortunately, it did leave Kara in the awkward position of never knowing whether his behavior towards her was real – or merely for the benefit of their audience.

"Green!"

Her attention caught by the Captain's voice, Kara turned her head, catching a glimpse of Danny where he stood petting Halsey, realizing that he had been watching her. Probably, like Cruz, assuming that she was deliberately avoided him. Kara felt a spark of unease as her conversation with Alisha played through her mind.

 _Five Days Ago_

" _So the two of you are officially over?" Alisha asked after Kara finished spilling about Danny's doomed proposal and her less than enthusiastic response._

" _Well, no," Kara hedged. "We're…."_

 _Alisha's eyebrows were sky-high as Kara faded off, realizing that she didn't actually know where she and Danny stood. "The guy asked you to marry him and you said no, Kara. Turning down a proposal is usually a pretty good sign that the relationship is over."_

 _Alisha's words hit Kara like a blow. Not because Alisha was wrong, but because Kara knew that, were the tables turned – if, for example, it was Debbie telling Kara this story – she would have said the same thing. Even worse, she probably would have emphasized it with a roll of her eyes, asking her mother what she expected._

 _Now Kara understood._

 _She had been so angry that night – at Danny, at the Captain, at Hamada, at the world – for what happened at Avocet that she had simply reacted, not stopping to think about the consequences of what she was doing._

 _Not thinking about how Danny would take her rejection._

 _Forgetting that some words couldn't be unsaid._

 _Forcing herself to think logically, Kara considered the remainder of the evening. Danny had said that he wanted to work things out, hadn't he? "We're taking things slowly. Figuring things out."_

" _Really?" Alisha asked skeptically. "Because it sounds to me like you just made that up."_

" _If he thought that we were done he wouldn't be hanging around all the time," Kara replied, recognizing how flimsy her argument was even before she uttered the words._

" _Going to ultrasounds? Bringing you snacks? Discussing a safe place for you to live off the ship? Notice a theme here? Name one thing that Danny has done that doesn't relate to the baby," Alisha challenged. Kara opened her mouth, but Alisha quickly added. "And sex doesn't count. Too ambiguous. Could mean he wants a relationship, or could just mean he's horny. I'm pretty sure that Tim is sleeping with Nina, and those two definitely aren't interested in a relationship."_

" _Rios and Mir?" Kara repeated, distracted by the idea of Timothy breaking the rules with, well, anyone, but especially not the overly flirtatious electronics warfare officer. "Are you sure Nina wasn't just flirting?"_

" _I saw her grabbing his ass and he definitely wasn't complaining," Alisha said with a shrug. "But back to you, I'm still waiting."_

 _Kara scowled at Alisha, wracking her brain for an example, coming up pathetically short._

 _Alisha gave her a knowing smile. "I thought so."_

Present

And the days since the conversation had not been any more reassuring. Her first attempt to talk to Danny had gone slightly sideways, as he misunderstood the "problem" she wanted to "discuss", resulting in a rather delightful thirty minutes in a storage room that left her physically satisfied (and reminding her of the benefits to keeping him around) but no closer to figuring out where they stood. Other than a few comments about her mother – and those weren't exactly telling when a solid fifty percent of the conversations since they left Baltimore were focused on what would happen when they reached Norfolk – all of their conversation centered on the baby. But now that they were in Norfolk, Kara found her concerns over her relationship (or non-relationship) with Danny being pushed to the back of her mind as her thoughts turned to her home, and what she might find there.

Anxiety gnawed at Kara as she reached Andrea. "Any news?"

Andrea reached forward to straighten Kara's vest, her smile forced. "The SEALs didn't recognize any of the names on the list. But there are survivors. That's the important part."

"You're right, of course," Kara replied, even as her own heart sank. She _had_ been hoping…

"How are you doing?" Andrea asked.

"Nervous." _Talk about the understatement of the century._ "You?"

"Terrified."

Kara found herself eyes drifting to where Danny stood near the Captain and one of the SEALs who had responded to the Nathan James' call for reinforcements, all three intent on their discussion. Andrea reached over to take Kara's hand.

"Don't worry, CO made sure you and Green are on the same team," Andrea assured her. "You won't be alone out there."

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Halsey was the first to notice Kara, his head swiveling in her direction with a soft whine. Setting a soothing hand on the dog's head, Danny found himself relaxing as she moved across the deck towards Commander Garnett. It was a relationship that he would never have imaged three months ago, back in the Arctic when the engineer was just another face in the wardroom. But that was before he saw the Commander lying on that cot in the isolation tent, holding Kara's hand. A tight bond had formed between the two women during the vaccine trial, and Danny suspected that if anyone could comfort Kara right now, it would be the Commander.

 _90% infection rate_.

Despite having travelled through the streets of Baltimore, seeing the empty buildings, watching the survivors scavenge for food and supplies, wading through the sea of bodies at Olympia, Danny still couldn't believe that nine out of every ten people in Norfolk were mostly likely dead.

 _The girl who gave him his morning coffee._

 _The man at the magazine stand on the corner._

 _The guard at the entrance to the base._

 _The waiter at his favorite Mexican restaurant._

 _The homeless guy who slept in the alley near his pad._

Unlike in Baltimore, here the bodies that they found as they cleared the city might very well be familiar. People they knew – people that they loved – friends and family. During the briefing, the CO and XO had given strict instructions that crew members were not to enter their homes until the space was cleared, but they all knew that clearing the homes was the easy part. The hard part would be telling a fellow sailor that their family, their loved one, was dead.

It was why he needed to be on the team with Kara. If Debbie was dead, he needed to be the one to tell her. He might not have been there to hold her hand during the vaccine trial or to help her escape from Avocet but, if Debbie was dead, he would be the one to tell Kara – to be there for her the way she was there for him when he lost Frankie.

"Green!" Captain Chandler's voice carried down the deck. Tearing his eyes away from Kara, Danny jogged towards the CO, Halsey on his heels.

"Sir?"

Chandler nodded towards a SEAL standing on the dock. "Guy over there says he knows you."

It took a moment before it clicked. "Anders. Out of Little Creek. We had a joint training exercise a bit back."

"What do you know about him?"

Again Danny wracked his brain. "Straight shooter. No sense of humor. Wife died a couple years back in Iraq."

"You trust him?" Chandler asked bluntly.

Danny considered the question, the betrayal in Baltimore still too fresh in his mind. "As much as I trust anyone these days."

"Fair enough." Chandler gave a sharp nod towards the man.

"Green." Anders held out a hand once he was close enough. "Your team aboard?"

"Just me and Admiral Halsey," Danny replied, ignoring the way his chest tightened at the thought of Benz, Berchem and Smith, guilt resurfacing as he nodded to a few friendly faces on the SEAL team. Despite being in a hot zone, Anders had managed to keep his men alive. Danny had not.

"We'll be sending out six teams to spread the cure," Chandler began. "Any information I can give my people ahead of time will be much appreciated."

"We've been trying to divide the city into sectors, impose a level of control," Anders explained. "We got people holed up in different safe houses, but we're still in the process of clearing the city. We've been sweeping north to south, getting as far as the Chestnut Hill area."

Chandler nodded. "Our intel says there's a biosafety level 4 lab on base here."

"There was, but the equipment got moved someplace and no one here can tell us where." Anders gave Danny a speculative look. "We've been focused on the civilian areas and haven't had time to clear the base. We might have better luck with the dog helping."

 _Fuck._

Searching the base meant letting Kara go to Norfolk, to her apartment, without him.

"I need Green on the ground team," Chandler said, his voice booking no dissent. "We'll clear the city first and then locate the lab."

Although Anders' face didn't change, Danny could sense his surprise and confusion – surprise and confusion mirroring Danny's own – before the man responded. "Understood, sir."

When he found his voice, Danny nodded at Anders' team. "Nat was a dog handler, wasn't he?"

"Yup, lost Bones a year ago," Anders confirmed, leaving the obvious question unspoken. Sharing dogs, while not unheard of, was unusual.

"Are we excused, sir?" Danny asked. At Chandler's nod, Danny turned back to Anders. "Let's see what the Admiral here thinks about Nat."

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The jeep was just pulling around the corner to Kara's building when the radio crackled to life. "Lieutenant Green, we got three survivors here, inoculated. Sending them back to base."

"Copy that. We just cleared second street."

But it wasn't Cruz's words that caught Danny's attention so much as the sight of the survivors in question, a young man and woman, the woman cradling a wailing infant in her arms as they followed Cruz down the street, looking around warily. Danny's gaze skipped from the survivors to Kara, sitting stiffly on the seat next to him, her eyes seemingly fixed on the building they were approaching, but knowing that she must have seen the family, wondering if she thinking the same thing as him.

 _About how easily that could be them._

If the Nathan James had gone to North Carolina as originally ordered, if the CO had decided to put in at Norfolk to find his family, if Doctor Scott had been unable to develop the vaccine onboard the ship, even if things had gone differently in Baltimore – it was only the slightest of chance that separated him and Kara from the couple now moving past them, scrambling to survive day-by-day, raising a baby in the middle of an apocalypse.

For all that he had lost in the last three months, he couldn't lose sight of what he still had.

"So, this is where she lives?" Danny asked as the jeep stopped, fighting the urge to lay a hand on Kara's knee, to reassure her that, no matter what, she wasn't alone.

Turning, she gave a brief nod. "Let's do this."


	19. A Single Moment Can Change Everything

_Ch. 19 – A Single Moment Can Change Everything_

x

 _It was the second longest two minutes of Kara's life._

Standing outside the apartment she shared with her mother, listening as Danny and the SEALs moved through the rooms, opening doors and checking closets, Kara could visualize their movements. Their first stop would be the living room, a space that was always picked up when Kara was home but now would no doubt be cluttered with piles of magazines and dirty clothes and bottles and ashtrays – cleaning not being one of Debbie's strengths. Next they would move to the kitchen, which would be pristine other than a coating of dust and possibly a fork or two in the sink since Debbie never cooked, relying on takeout and booze for her daily meals. The first door down the short hallway led to Kara's room, and she briefly wondered what Danny would think of the tidy day bed and desk, which were dwarfed by the three large bookcases overflowing with textbooks, training manuals, mystery novels, and the occasional romance (sometimes a girl needed a little escapist fiction), with two shelves reserved for memorabilia. The trophy she received the year her high school soccer team won the state championship. The dried flowers she got for her graduation from the Academy, the ones that Debbie bought before realizing that Kara couldn't carry them while in uniform. The picture of her father, tucked away in a corner where Debbie wouldn't see it and destroy it one night in a drunken fit.

But Danny wouldn't linger long enough to notice all of the details, taking only the time to ensure that the bedroom was empty before moving down the hall to the bathroom (Kara shuddered to imagine its condition after seven months with only Debbie to keep it clean), and the linen closet (which was probably empty as Debbie used up and failed to replace the towels), and finally the last door on the hall.

 _Debbie's room._

Here was the moment of truth. If Debbie were alive and home, they would have known by now. Even if she didn't answer their original knock, she would have responded to Kara when, at Danny's request, she leaned her head through the door and called into the dark, still space. Which left two options. Either Debbie was gone, having left as so many did for a safe zone or the hospital. Or her body was lying in her queen size bed, bundled in a tower of blankets, a bottle of booze and an ashtray by her side, surrounded by baskets of clothes and half-filled packing boxes and a stack of books to keep her company in her final hours. Despite her tension, Kara found herself smiling as she pictured the towers of books that Debbie tended to stack around her room. Kara's love of reading was one of the few positive trait she inherited from her mother, both of them content to curl up to read on a quiet Friday night, Debbie with her bottle of rum and Kara with her coffee.

"We're clear!"

A thousand pound weight lifted off Kara's chest at Danny's words. But as she crossed the threshold to the apartment where she lived for almost three years ago, she barely recognizing it. Trashed was an understatement. Not only had Debbie stopped cleaning, but from the stench she had also stopped taking out the garbage.

"It's pretty musty. It doesn't feel like anyone's been here for a while," Danny noted, _musty_ obviously being a euphemism for _putrid_. Although, to be fair, they had all become somewhat immune to the stench after the second or third apartment. The ones that contained bodies were the worst, obviously, but even the ones that were empty tended to be filled with spoiled food and mildew from leaky pipes and the occasional deceased pet.

Kara felt her throat tighten as she considered what would have driven Debbie to leave the apartment, and one reason was immediately obvious. "Looks like she went through all the booze."

Danny gave her a concerned glance, and for the briefest of instants, Kara wondered what he would do if she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. Took the comfort she so desperately needed right now to keep it together. Freeze probably. Maybe choke. Worst case he would push her away, totally nonplussed by her flagrant violation of the Navy's frat rules and their unspoken agreement to act professionally anytime someone might see them.

A pad of paper on the table caught her eye and Kara leaned over to pick it up, her heart suddenly pumping a mile a minute. "She left a note. She dated it. It's from six weeks ago."

She heard a trace of her optimism reflected in Danny's voice. "What does it say?"

"She's at the bowling alley on Hancock?"

Kara stared at the words, her mind whirling a mile a minute. Hancock was a ten minute drive – so more than a thirty minute walk – and there were at least two safe zones between here and there. In fact, there was a safe zone just around the corner, less than a minute walk away. _Why would Debbie have gone all the way to Hancock to find a safe zone?_

Unless the reason that Debbie left the apartment had more to do with the empty bottles and cigarette packs than the Red Flu. Heart sinking, Kara re-read the note, realizing that Debbie never said that she was going to a safe zone. Just that she was going to the bowling alley.

And bowling alleys usually had booze.

"It's outside our zone but Burk won't mind if we head over there," Danny remarked as he consulted the city map, lines showing the six zones the teams were covering.

Kara nodded sharply. "Plenty of houses left to clear. We should get a move on."

"Kara..." His voice was low, cautious.

"What?" She snapped, wincing at her own tone.

Danny's hand settled on her arm, his eyes soft. "We might still find her."

Swallowing tightly, Kara stared at him, struggling for the words to explain her turmoil. How her hope that Debbie was still alive was tempered by the knowledge that, even if Debbie had survived, Kara was unlikely to get a true happily-ever-after. That her issues with her mother were not the kind of garden-variety problems that could simply be forgiven and forgotten, paling in comparison to the horrors that had intervened since the last time Kara and Debbie spoke. Danny stayed quiet, his thumb stroking reassuringly across the back of her hand, his gaze steady as he waited for her to find her voice. "I…."

But before she could figure out what to say, O'Connor walked into the room, and Danny's hand jerked away from Kara as though he had been burned.

Kara straightened her back, clamping down her emotions. Well, she knew the answer to her question from earlier, anyway. Dead mother or not, frat rules still won. "There's nothing here. Let's go."

Three hours, roughly two hundred houses and apartments and small businesses, another safe zone, and a horrifying number of bodies later, Danny pulled the jeep to a stop on Hancock Street.

"Bit of a hike from your place," he noted.

"Well, she was always chasing men around. Maybe she met someone hot in the bowling league."

Kara could hear the cynicism in her voice, the scorn, the negativity that Debbie always brought out. But at least the pessimism kept her expectations in check, reminding Kara that, even if Debbie was alive, she would still be the same flawed woman she was before the virus hit. She would still be the same woman who Kara swore never to become.

 _Too much booze._

 _Too many jobs._

 _Too many men._

From the time she was old enough to understand why Mommy sometimes disappeared for days, either leaving Kara to fend for herself or dropping her off at her grandfather's farm for an "afternoon" that they all knew would turn into an overnight stay, Kara had resolved never to fall into those traps. She drank in moderation. Her only adult job was with the Navy and Kara planned to stay in for life. She hadn't followed Debbie's pattern of dating guy after guy, dragging her daughter along for the ride. Hell, Kara could count all of her ex-boyfriends – and that included Danny – on one hand. Six months ago Kara would have said, with confidence, that she had moved on from the trauma of her childhood. That she understood Debbie's alcoholism was a disease. That she was no longer angry. That she forgave her mother for the past. That she accepted Debbie for who she was and what she could give – and what she couldn't give – to her only child.

And yet, right now Kara felt like she was once again that ten-year-old girl sitting on her bed with her backpack already packed, listened to Debbie and the man-of-the-hour scream at each other. Waiting for the inevitable appearance of the police or her grandfather, emotions swinging from terror to exhaustion to anger, knowing that by morning everything would be different – and that nothing she said or did would make any difference.

 _Because only Debbie could change Debbie._

As Kara looked at the bowling alley, she knew that what she found (or didn't find) in that building would change everything – and nothing. Because Debbie after a post-apocalyptic six-week binge was unlikely to be much different than Debbie after a pre-apocalyptic six-week binge.

 _And Kara now had someone more important to worry about._

"Yes, either that or, " Danny paused until they cleared the jeep, revealing the SEALs outside the building, a slight smile dancing on his lips, "It's a safe zone."

Kara stopped short, eyes swinging towards him. "What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't sure until just now. Anders sent some guys to check in out since Burk is bogged down at the hospital," Danny explained as he, Cruz, and O'Connor unloaded several containers of the vaccine from the trunk. Kara didn't offer to help, knowing after the last three times she asked that the guys would all refuse to let her life anything heavier than a vial. Danny swung one of the CDC cases towards the building. "Ready?"

Kara barely noticed as they passed the guards, ushered into the shadowy building that smelled of sweaty shoes and old popcorn, the sounds of people talking and children playing jarringly normal after the sickening silence of the houses they had spent the day searching. Kara made a beeline for a woman with a clipboard, assuming that she could help, leaving the mechanics of the vaccination distribution to the rest of her team.

"I'm looking for a Debbie Foster," she choked out, obviously catching the girl, who was no older than twenty, off-guard.

"Oh, Debbie...um..." After a quick glance at Kara's uniform, the girl turned, scanning the room. A jumble of questions ran through Kara's mind as she waited.

 _Was Debbie here? Was she alive? Was she sober or had she managed to find the only safe zone in town with a bar? Would this be the new start for them or just another disappointment?_

"Debbie! Debbie!"

Kara looked in the direction the girl was gesturing, gazing into the gloom, not recognizing anyone. Praying that this wasn't all some gigantic misunderstanding. That this "Debbie Foster" wasn't another woman who shared her mother's name.

" _Kara?"_

And then there she was, looking just the way Kara remembered, dressed casually in jeans and a vest, her dirty-blonde hair in a twist, her lips a new shade of rose that Debbie bought on a mother-daughter shopping trip the week before Kara shipped out. Tears flooded Kara's eyes as she realized that her mother really was alive.

" _Mom."_


	20. What happens when people open their hear

_Ch. 20 – "What happens when people open their hearts?" "They get better." ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood_

 _x_

Debbie pulled away from the tight embrace, her hands moving to Kara's arms. "How did you get here? _Where have you been?_ "

Kara laughed through her tears. "My ship, Mom. We have the cure."

The look of shock on Debbie's face would have been amusing under other circumstances. "What?"

"We have the cure, Mom." Kara cupped her mother's face in her hands. "The cure."

"Here," catching sight of Danny, still holding CDC container, Kara dragged her mother in that direction. "Mom, this is my..." panic struck as Kara realized she had no idea how to introduce Danny, landing on the safest option, "...friend Lieutenant Danny Green. He has the vaccine to distribute."

Kara wondering if she was imagining the slightly strained look around Danny's eyes as he smiled at Debbie charmingly. "A pleasure, ma'am. Lieutenant Foster speaks of you often."

Grabbing the box, Kara opened it to reveal the vials, loading one into the dispenser and gesturing for Debbie to hold out her arm. "You only need one shot. It cures the sick and vaccinates the healthy."

"How did you do this?" Debbie stared back and forth between the two, lifting her arm.

"Our mission, the one we left for in June, was to escort a team of CDC doctors to the Arctic to find the primordial strain of the virus. That's why the Nathan James was at EMCON. The government didn't want anyone knowing about our mission," Kara explained, stopping short of mentioning that the government also didn't want the crew to know about their mission, or about what was happening to their families back home. "Once Doctor Scott found the primordial strain, she used it to create the vaccine."

Positioning the dispenser, Kara pushed down on the lever, the resulting click incredibly satisfying.

"Your daughter was one of the volunteers to test it," Danny added.

As if the news was finally sinking in, Debbie stared at her arm. "There's a cure for the Red Flu."

"Yes, Mom," Kara said, grinning. "We have a cure."

Debbie stared at them for a final moment before her eyes widened. "We have to get this to everyone!"

As Debbie turned, gesturing wildly at someone across the bowling alley, Kara's eyes were drawn to Danny. "Thank you for being here."

The answer was so quiet that Kara almost couldn't make out the words. "I wouldn't be anywhere else."

The next hour was taken up with answering questions and coordinating the dissemination of the vaccine. This safe zone was the largest that they had found, requiring O'Connor and Cruz to return to the James to gather more doses. Kara was unloading another crate of vials when Debbie approached again.

"Can you believe I haven't had a drink in five months?"

Kara's first instinct was to scoff at the idea of Debbie giving up booze, but something about the way that Debbie said the words made her hesitate. There wasn't a whiff of anything on Debbie's breath or clothing, suggesting that there was at least some truth to what her mother was saying. "I saw all your bottles gone. Thought maybe it went the other way."

Debbie looked Kara straight in the eyes. "Not a drop."

The words hung between them. It wasn't the first time that Debbie claimed to be dry although, if what she was saying was true, five months was certainly the longest that the woman had gone without alcohol. Of course, there was the aspect of supply and demand. Kara hadn't missed the fact that this bowling alley at one point contained a fully stocked bar – a coincidence which might explain Debbie's decision to bypass the closer safe zones and come to this particular location.

Before Kara could respond (not that she knew what to say), they were interrupted by a genial looking man in his early fifties. "Deb, I just heard. Is it really true?"

"It's the real thing. We tested it on ourselves," Kara replied reassuringly, having gotten the routine down-pat after the second safe zone. Apparently having large guys carrying heavy weaponry distribute the cure was rather intimidating to many of the survivors, who were much more willing to speak openly with Kara or Paul O'Connor.

"This is Peter. I've told him all about you." Debbie gushed in a way that Kara was all too familiar with. The way she always was with her current man-of-the-hour.

Peter held out his hand. "Hi. It's nice to meet you."

"Hi. You too." Kara replied, wondering if Peter, rather than the booze, was what drew Debbie here.

"You know your mother's the glue that holds this place together?" Peter must have seen Kara's surprise. "Seriously."

Debbie chuckled, and Kara could have sworn that she flushed slight. "Come on, let's get you in line."

Kara was so distracted watching her mother and Peter that she didn't notice Danny approaching until he was next to her. "That is _not_ the woman you described to me."

"I know." Kara shook her head, still not sure she believed it. "It's amazing. She's a completely different person."

"The guys and I are leaving in ten to check in, then we're all off for the evening. I figured that I should check my apartment and pick up some stuff. Are you going to stay here with your mother?"

Kara froze. A question so innocent, and yet so loaded. Tonight might be the only opportunity for Kara to speak with Danny about the future – away from the preying eyes and interference of the crew – but that meant leaving her mother barely two hours after learning that she was alive.

Kara glanced at Debbie, who was still hanging on Peter's arm. It was a sight all too familiar to Kara, one that more often than not resulted in her spending the evening alone while her mother fawned over the new man in her life, and reminded Kara of something that she swore never to do.

 _To never put a man first._

No, actually that wasn't quite right. What she really meant was that she would never put _another person_ first – and yet wasn't that what she had done all of her life? Always put Debbie's problems first? Wasn't that what she was doing right now? Prioritizing time with Debbie over Danny? Risking her relationship with him in order to stay here and watch her mother flirt with Peter?

Glancing at Danny's profile, noticing his clenched jaw, Kara realized how much he wanted her to come with him and, yet, he wasn't trying to convince her. Despite both of them knowing how rare this opportunity to spend time alone was, Danny wasn't pushing her to leave.

 _Instead, he was letting her make the choice._

Her decision made, Kara caught Danny's eye. "Let me say goodbye and then we can go."

"Okkkkay…"

The word was fumbled, as though Danny was still trying to comprehend that she wasn't staying at the bowling alley. Hiding a smirk, thinking about how adorable he was when he was befuddled, Kara patted him on the arm. "Better get a move on, Lieutenant."

Given the way Debbie was hanging on Peter, Kara wasn't expecting much resistance from her mother, but shaking Debbie turned out to be harder than Kara expected. "I barely got to see you! You're _sure_ that you'll be back tomorrow?"

"I promise that I'll be back." Kara gestured towards the line of people to be vaccinated, one that was still growing as Cruz and O'Connor re-directed people from a nearby supermarket to the bowling alley. "There won't be time to talk tonight anyway. The SEALs will be staying for a few hours to help finish vaccinating everyone but they are going to need your help to get everyone settled for the night."

As though to prove her point, Lydia (the brunette Kara spoke to upon arriving, who turned out to be nineteen), approached with a frazzled look. "There you are Debbie! Do we have any blankets? Some of the kids who are arriving are soaked to the bone. Apparently the pipes at the supermarket burst yesterday and they've been walking around in three inches of water."

Before Debbie could respond, Peter surprised Kara by speaking up. "I'll handle it, Deb."

Kara watched as Peter directed Lydia towards the bank of the building, wondering how Debbie met him.

"Peter's the reason I came here, to the bowling alley," Debbie said softly, as though she could read Kara's thoughts. Questioning if that was a mother thing, Kara abruptly realized that she had lifted a hand to touch her stomach, quickly lowering it and hoping that nobody noticed.

Kara smiled slightly. "I wondered. You must have walked an hour to get here – and you passed a couple other safe zones."

Debbie wrinkled her nose. "Peter owned a restaurant on this block. He wanted to come check on his employees. I didn't want to stay at the apartment alone so I came along. Once we got here, there was so much to do. We couldn't leave. People needed us."

 _People needed us._

Kara found her eyes straying to Danny. From the moment the Nathan James left for the Arctic, the world was depending on them. First to find the primordial strain, then to develop and distribute the cure. But there was still so much left to do. How could she balance the needs of the world against the needs of her child?

"Peter's the one who got me sober." Debbie continued. "Poured all the booze down the toilet before we realized that the power was out permanently and we couldn't flush. I hope the place doesn't still smell like a brewery."

"It doesn't." That was something Kara could say honestly.

Debbie laughed, then hesitated. "I think you'll like him, Kara. Peter, I mean. He's a good man. Maybe we can all spend some time together tomorrow?"

And for the first time in many years, Kara found herself answering honestly when Debbie offered to introduce Kara to her new boyfriend. "I'd like that."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Almost two hours passed before Danny, Kara and Halsey finally reached Kara's apartment.

The plan was for Kara to pack up some additional clothes and personal items to supplement or replace what she brought on board the James before the original departure for the Arctic more than seven months ago. In addition to wanting some lighter clothing, Kara was also finding that many of her more fitted clothing no longer fit and was planning to grab every pair of sweatpants and bike shorts that she could locate. Quickly moving to her bedroom and throwing open the window to reduce the smell, Kara waited while Danny set up one of the portable camp lamps that Slattery had found and distributed to those crew members who planned to return to their homes for the night. Kara dug a gym bag out of the closet and tossed in on her bed, finding it strangely unsettling being alone with Danny.

As though picking up on her tension, Halsey paced back and forth across the room. Kara knelt before him, running a hand down his back. "It's okay, boy. Nothing is going to hurt us."

"It's the smell."

Kara gave Danny a puzzled glance. "What?"

"Halsey's kind of a snob. He gets very agitated by smells. It's why he's not great at crowd control," Danny explained.

"I don't really blame him," Kara muttered. "Hopefully your place smells better."

Danny gave her a hooded look. "Master Chief was in charge of that sector. He told me that the place looked to be in decent shape. If not, we can always gather some things and head back to the James."

Not sure how to respond, Kara turned back to her packing, making a point to gather the few pictures of her father, as well as a few additional photographs of friends who were now likely dead.

"A little light reading, Lieutenant?" Danny asked teasingly, holding up a Harlequin Romance with a man dressed only in a Scottish kilt across the cover.

"Mom likes to read them," Kara muttered, wondering if her cheeks were as red as they felt.

"Ah, the blame it on mom defense," Danny mussed, he flipped the book open to a well-worn page. "The Earl of Cassilis tumbled Maretta down on the bed, her skirts tangling around their knees, his hardness pressing against her…" An eyebrow went up and Danny flipped to the next page. "Damn, these things are detailed."

"Learning a thing or two are we?" Kara inquired, tossing another pair of sweatpants into her bag.

"I noticed that you introduced me to your mother as your friend."

The unexpected change of topic caused a flutter of panic to sweep Kara's stomach. Hoping it wasn't obvious, she smiled at Danny over her shoulder, her tone light. "I didn't exactly know what to call you. I mean, boyfriend doesn't quite cut it."

The look that Danny gave Kara told her he was no longer in a teasing kind of mood. "What about the baby? You're not going to tell her about that?"

Now it was Kara's turn to look away, pulling a pile of undergarments out of her drawer, wishing that he would drop the topic. "I can't."

But, of course, he didn't. "Because she'd ask you to stay?"

"Because if she asked, I might have to say yes," Kara admitted. She recalled the early days, back before Baltimore, when she told Alisha that staying in Norfolk with Debbie wasn't an option. But things were different now. Norfolk was peaceful – and Debbie seemed to be sober. If Kara stayed, she could help with the cure distribution, she could help her mother, and maybe Debbie could help with the baby.

It was a door that Kara simply couldn't open. Not right now. Not when there was still so much to be done.

The look on Danny's face was unreadable. "Is that what you want? To stay here?"

And there it was, the moment of decision, the time to lay her cards on the table. "No, it's not. I want to distribute the cure, to help as much as I can but…" Kara glanced away, her gaze catching on the twinkling lights of the Nathan James as she sat in the harbor two miles away, the only manmade light for miles. "I also want to stay with you. I know that I said and did some things in Baltimore that hurt you, but I this to work. I want _us_ to work." Kara took a deep breath. "I love you."

The room was so quiet that Kara could hear Halsey's breathing and, for an instant, she was convinced that Alisha was right. That she had lost her chance in Baltimore. But then Danny moved, striding forward until their vests bumped, drawing a grunt from both of them.

"You couldn't have picked a time when I _wasn't_ fully geared up to tell me that?" He groused, but his dazzling smile took away any sting from his words.

She reached up to cradle his face in her hands, suspecting that he could see the tears shining in her eyes. "So I didn't screw everything up in Baltimore?"

"No more than I screwed everything up in Gitmo." Danny's hands stroked down Kara's arms. "I love you too, Kara."

Kara found herself grinning. "And just think. That time you weren't even yelling."


	21. I didn't know I was starving until I tas

_Ch. 21 – I didn't know I was starving until I tasted you. – Starving, Hailee Steinfeld_

 _x_

"Is this it?" Kara was slightly surprised by the traditional two-story house where Danny apparently lived. She had always imagined him in a generic apartment close to the base like most of the single guys on the James, who saw no point to finding something nicer when they spent six months a year out to sea.

"Yes." Danny's tone was clipped, but Kara didn't take offense, suspecting that returning to the home he used to share with Frankie was harder than Danny was admitting. "Frankie and I rented the second floor along with a couple guys on another team. Since we were on different rotations, someone was usually around to keep an eye on the place."

Kara trailed behind Danny as they approached the front door, following him as he took an immediate right to climb the stairs. She waited at the entrance to the apartment while Danny cleared it, knowing that he would argue with her if she offered to help. Less than a minute passed before Danny reappeared.

"Are we good?" Kara asked.

"Yup. Make yourself comfortable while I grab the gear." And with that Danny disappeared back down the stairs.

Kara stepped over the threshold, her first impression that the place was messier than she would have expected. In the moonlight Kara could see that the kitchen counters were strewn with containers and the couch was piled with what looked to be someone's wardrobe. Although, to be fair, Kara's own apartment did not reflect her normal standards of cleanliness either. Kara followed Halsey down the hall towards one of the bedrooms, assuming it was Danny's until she pushed the door open and noticed the framed picture of the Benz family sitting on the wardrobe.

"Halsey, come," Kara ordered, without luck, as Halsey curled up in the middle of the large bed that took up more than half of the room.

"Halsey, ici!"

The firm command startled Kara, and she spun around. "Damn you're quiet."

Danny's teeth flashed. "Benefit of being special ops, sweetheart." But his grin faded as he glanced into the room Halsey was vacating, pulling the door closed behind the German Shepard. "Frankie always let the dog sleep in his bed. It used to drive his girlfriends nuts."

"I can understand why. Bad enough sharing with anyone, but a guy and his dog?" Kara joked. She turned, moving further down the hall. "So, Mr. Green, tell me, are you a blanket hog?"

"Nobody has ever complained before," Danny replied. Kara rolled her eyes. Of course nobody complained. Even if Danny did hog the covers or let the dog sleep with him or do something else equally obnoxious, he had other skills which more than made up for those failings. "Last door on the right."

Kara allowed Halsey to precede her into Danny's bedroom, taking the time to glance around. Again there were piles of clothes and camping gear covering most of the surfaces. Kara tried to think of something polite to say. "It smells better here."

"Less musty?" Danny sounded amused.

"If musty is a polite way of saying like shit," Kara retorted just as Danny entered the room.

"Holy fuck!" He stared at the disaster in his bedroom. "What were they doing here? Having an orgy?"

Kara didn't know whether to be relieved that Danny wasn't actually this much of a slob or scared that his first though was to wonder if his roommates had an orgy in his bedroom.

"Thank god I brought clean bedding," Danny muttered as he set up the camp light and began pulling the blue quilted comforter off the bed.

"You brought bedding?" Kara repeated, floored that he had even thought about it. She certainly had not.

"Figured we didn't want to sleep on eight month old sheets," Danny explained. "If you're hungry, Bacon gave me some snacks. They're in the duffel."

A smile played around Kara's mouth as she rummaged through the bag, her mind more on the benefits of clean sheets than the snack options, grabbing a package of nuts and cubed cheese. Kara made a mental note to thank Bacon the next time she saw him. The snacks in Danny's duffel were definitely a step up from the MREs she was expecting.

Leaving Danny to remake the bed himself, Kara pulled off her vest, realizing only after she removed it that there was nowhere to set her gear. Not bothering to ask, Kara moved the stack of Fish & Game magazines from the desk to the floor, setting her vest and service weapon down on the newly cleared space before cleaning off the chair and sitting down to remove her shoes. When she was done, Kara looked up to see Danny was done making the bed and was now removing his own gear, a much more involved process as he carried quite a bit of additional equipment and an extra gun. While she waited, Kara pulled the bobby pins from her hair, combing out the knots with her fingers as she finished the nuts.

Glancing up, Kara found Danny watching her, looking mesmerized by her fingers moving through her hair. Kara stood, crossing the room to slide her arms around his waist, studying his expression in the dim light.

"Clean sheets, huh?"

A flush crossed Danny's face. "Not that I'm expecting…I know we can't….I just thought…."

Kara arched an eyebrow at him, finally deciding to put him out of his misery, pulling his head down so she could brush her lips across hers. "It was a good idea. Thank you."

Danny's arms slipped around her waist and he leaned in to give her an equally soft kiss. "We should probably talk."

"Mmmm-hmmm," Kara murmured, one hand running down his back until she found the hem of his shirt, tugging at it until she reached warm skin, running her fingers along his waistband.

Danny shifted to kiss the soft underside of her chin, his voice low and husky. "So, what would you like to talk about?"

There were a thousand things that they needed to discuss, a thousand unresolved issues, but right now all Kara wanted to do was stand here with Danny's arms around her, to forget about the virus and the mission and the state of the world, to focus on this moment, this man. "Did I tell you about my conversation with Rachel?"

"No, is everything okay?" Danny leaned back slightly, his forehead wrinkling. He shook his head before answering his own question. "It is, right? Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

Kara took advantage of the space between their bodies to pull the front of Danny's shirt from his pants. "She lifted the no sex restriction."

That got Danny's attention, and in a moment later Kara was backed up until her knees hit the edge of the bed, causing her to sit, Danny's arms caging her to the bed as he bent to kiss her, stopping at the last second. "What exactly did she say? Just that sex is okay? Are there things we shouldn't do?"

Kara recalled her rather awkward conversation with Rachel that morning.

 _"Kara!"_

 _Kara sneaked a peak at her watch as she turned towards Rachel. She was running late due to an unfortunately timed bout of morning sickness and had been hoping to make a quick stop at the officer's mess for a snack before her shift started, something that seemed more unlikely by the second. "Yes?"_

 _"I understand that Captain Chandler is giving the crew shore leave and allowing you to return to you homes while we are in Norfolk," Rachel began._

 _Heart sinking, Kara hoped Rachel wasn't going to restrict her to the ship after all. "He did."_

 _"I imagine that you and Danny will be spending some time together. I wanted to catch you alone so I could..."_

 _Flushing, Kara quickly cut Rachel off, glancing around to make sure nobody was close enough to overhear, wondering if Rachel had somehow figured out what she and Danny were up to in storage closet. "Don't worry we won't be…breaking any more frat rule."_

 _Rachel chuckled. "Actually, what I was going to say is that I am willing to lift that particular restriction so long as you promise to use common sense and stop if anything hurts or you have any bleeding and return to the ship immediately. It's your decision, of course - what you feel comfortable with. I won't say anything to Danny."_

 _Kara wasn't sure her cheeks could get any redder. "I understand."_

 _Rachel smiled indulgently as she began walking towards her lab. "Oh, and Kara?"_

" _Yes?"_

" _Good luck."_

"No S&M," Kara replied cheekily, seeing no need to fill Danny in on all the details. She captured his face between her hands, her tongue stroking his bottom lip until he stopped trying to talk and began kissing her back, one hand tangling in her loose hair.

"I think I can handle that," Danny murmured when they finally parted, both breathing heavily. Kara returned to pushing his shirt up until Danny straightened, pulling it over his head. "Slow and steady wins the game."

Kara scooted back on the bed while Danny sat to remove his boots. Reaching forward, she ran a hand through his hair, which was longer and more unkempt than usual, and down the thick column of his back, enjoying the way the muscles shifted under her fingers. Free of his boots, Danny caught Kara's hand, pressing a kiss to the sensitive inside of her wrist, his eyes never leaving hers. Pushing up her sleeve, Danny kissed his way to her elbow before grinning suggestively. "Pretty sure you don't need that shirt."

Shivering under the intensity of his gaze, Kara slowly lifted the shirt over her head and slid her bra down her arms, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. Although Danny had seen the bruising and scars on her abdomen during her daily ultrasounds, there was something about being here, half naked, away from Rachel and the hospital bay, that made her more aware of the marks that now marred her mid-section.

But Danny didn't even seem to notice the scars, stretching out next to her and recapturing her lips, a thumb tracing her jawline while he plundered her mouth. Kara gripped his shoulders as the kiss stretched on and on, until, agonizingly slowly, Danny's hands moved to her waist, tracing patterns up and down her abdomen. When his hand grazed against the sensitive underside of her breast, Kara gasped, and Danny immediately pulled away.

"Too sore?" He asked, nibbling his way from her mouth to her chin, hand settling on her hip.

In response, Kara brought his hand back to her chest, her hand cradling his against her aching breast. "Just be gentle."

And he was, his touch feather light as he tormented one breast and then the other, drawing gasp after gasp from Kara until she was twisting against him, an unbearable tension building in her core. Determined to move things along, she dropped a hand to Danny's belt, only to have him stop her.

"Slow, remember?" He breathed the words against her neck before bypassing her breasts to press a kiss to her stomach. Letting out a surprised hiss, Kara jerked. Danny's head rose. "Did that hurt?"

"No." Kara muttered, taking advantage of his distraction to begin wiggling out of her own pants, since she could no longer reach Danny's belt. "Just not my most attractive feature."

"Kara." His quiet, serious tone forced her to give him her full attention. He rested a hand on her stomach, the heat from his body pouring into her. "You _are_ beautiful. With or without these marks. All they do is show how fierce of a warrior you are. How hard you fought for our baby."

Tears pricking at her eyes, Kara smiled at him almost tentatively. "If I agree to take you at your word, will you agree to take off your pants?"

Stunned silence was followed by a bark of laughter, and then Danny rolled over, sliding his pants and boxers off in a single motion before returning to help Kara wiggle out of her remaining clothing.

"Who says I can't be accommodating?"

Kara intertwined their fingers as Danny settled in the cradle of her hips, keeping most of his weight on his elbows, bending down to capture her lips. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pulled him closer, feeling him nudge against her entrance. By the time Danny broke the kiss to bury his head in her shoulder, they were both panting, bodies rocking against each other. Kara twisted against him, her entire focus on Danny, on the arousal pulsing through her veins.

"I need you inside me. Please."

She had expected him to tease her further, to drag it out, maybe even to make her beg, but instead he did as requested, pressing into her agonizingly slowly until, finally, she was holding him deep inside her. The sensation of being connected to Danny so intimately brought an overwhelming rush of emotion, and tears began to roll down Kara's face.

"Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop?" His voice was ragged, as though he was feeling the sane explosion of emotion.

"It's perfect." Forcing her eyes open, Kara stared at Danny, holding his gaze as she clenched her internal muscles around him, watching the way his mouth parted on a groan at the unexpected sensation.

"God you're amazing." He peppered her face with kisses as he slowly pulled out, only to slide back just as carefully, over and over again until Kara buried her face in his neck, biting down on his shoulder to keep from crying out. She shifted, one hand dropping to Danny's ass for leverage, allowing her to rise up to meet his thrusts, driving him deeper inside as the familiar sense of anticipation coiled within her. She was so close, so very close.

It was only when Danny hooked an arm under her knee, changing the angle of his thrusts that she realized she had spoken the words out loud. "That's it baby. That's it. Just like that."

And that was it, her body shattering, Kara barely noticing as Danny followed her over the edge two strokes later, rolling them both over rather than collapsing on top of her, their bodies still connected, limbs still tangled. "I love you."

Despite her exhaustion, Kara found her lips curling into a smile as she drifted to sleep. "I love you too."

She wasn't sure how long she slept before she woke to the blaring of her alarm, throwing out an arm to silence it, only to run into a solid male body. Confusion quickly turned to alertness as Kara realized that the sound wasn't her alarm and the body in her bed was Danny, who was already getting to his feet, weapon in hand.

"What is that?" Kara asked, sitting up and pulling on the first piece of clothing that she located – Danny's shirt.

"I set up an alarm on the front door. Someone just came in," Danny explained grimly as he handed her a weapon and the radio. "There's a fire escape out the window. If this sounds like it's going south get the hell out of here. Find somewhere to hide and call it in."

"What are you…"

Danny stopped her with a hard kiss to the mouth. "I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."


	22. Whatever Can Go Wrong, Will Go Wrong

_Ch. 22 – Whatever Can Go Wrong, Will Go Wrong_

x

Danny shut the door behind him, hoping to God that Kara would do as told and get the hell out of here if things went south. He crept down the hall, eyes focused on the entrance to the second floor apartment, Halsey moving silently beside him. The alarm was on the ground floor level, so Danny anticipated having plenty of time to reach the landing before the door opened, but if the last few months had taught him anything, it was to expect the unexpected.

One thing was immediately obvious, the intruders weren't trying to be quiet, stomping up the stairs as though they owned the place. Danny could hear two distinct set of footsteps and the murmur of male voices. Taking them down should be easy enough, but Danny found his heart pounding as his mind raced with a thousand what-ifs. Because this wasn't about completing a mission.

 _This was about Kara. About his baby. About keeping his family safe._

He slid to the side of the entrance, signaling for Halsey to wait as the door began to swing open.

"Do not make me repeat mys….." A ping of recognition hit but it was too late. Danny was already in motion, twisting the man's arm behind his back, swinging him around to face the stairs while Danny used him for cover, gun targeted on the second intruder, only to falter as he came face-to-face with the teenager.

" _Chris?"_

"Danny?"

" _Dad?"_

"What are you doing here?" Danny stumbled backwards, gun still raised, mind whirling as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. His family shouldn't be here. They lived in Connecticut, not Virginia. And Master Chief Jeter had personally checked Danny's apartment earlier that afternoon, confirming that nobody was here. And yet, there was his father, his brother, standing right before him.

"You're alive!" Mark took a step forward, arms stretching towards his son, stopping instantly when Halsey jumped between the two men, his teeth bared as he growled. Glancing between his son and the dog, Mark held up his hands, his voice soothing. "It's okay, boy. I'm not going to hurt him."

Chris, however, took a different approach. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Danny?"

Halsey snarled, only his training stopping him from tearing out Chris's throat, but the comment, so typical of the seventeen-year-old, broke through Danny's confusion.

 _They were really here. His father, his brother. They were alive._

"Halsey, assise." Danny dropped his hand, moving to tuck his service weapon into his belt, only to remember that he hadn't taken the time to put on more than his boxers, running a hand through his hair. "You scared the shit out of me. Some of the guys came by earlier and said the place was empty."

Mark reached forward to wrap his arms around his eldest son. "We were at the grocery store on Sixth. Some soldiers came through, offering a vaccine for the Red Flu, and said we could go home. So we did."

Hugging his father tightly, Danny found himself experiencing contradictory emotions – joy at seeing his father and brother alive mixed with wariness over their unexpected presence. And then, in a flash of reason, Danny realized that he was forgetting something important. Pulling free of his father, Danny turned back toward the apartment. "They're friendlies, Kara."

But her voice didn't come from the bedroom, as anticipated, but from the stairs below. "What about this one?"

Peaking his head out the door, Danny was greeted by a sight that he could never have imagined. Kara, still wearing his shirt and a pair of sweatpants, stood at the bottom of the stairs, her gun trained on a brunette woman who was rubbing her arm, a scowl plastered across her face as she sat on the bottom step. At the sight of her, his remaining reservations disappeared and Danny found himself grinning, then laughing until he was wiping tears away, earning glares from both women. "Well, I wouldn't describe Caro as _friendly_ exactly but probably not a good idea to shoot my sister."

Muttering something too quiet for Danny to hear, Kara extended her hand, helping Caro to her feet. His sister turned immediately, stomping up the stairs. Kara following at a more sedate pace, looking slightly green. Caro folded her arms across her chest. "So are you going to introduce us?

Suddenly, Danny understood Kara's hesitation, earlier, when she introduced him to Debbie. Because damn if he knew what to say. "Kara, meet my dad Mark, brother Chris, and sister Caroline. Guys, this is Kara. My girlfriend."

Caro rolled her eyes. "I guess that would explain why you're both half-naked. Did we catch you at a bad time?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kara's cheeks burned as she tried to clear off some space on the couch. Following the most awkward introduction of all time, Danny had disappeared into the bedroom to put on some clothing. Chris was sprawled on a beanbag that he had retrieved from the corner of the room, seeming entirely at home and indifferent to Kara's presence. Caroline, on the other hand, was watching every move that Kara made, not bothering to hide her interest.

Danny's father was chattering, an obvious effort to relieve the tension between the two woman. "Sorry about the mess. We were camping out in the apartment until we ran out of supplies – that's when we moved to the grocery store – but I guess we let the place go a little."

"I suppose you had to collect what you could and store it," Kara replied, trying to imagine what it would be like to be stuck in an apartment with dwindling supplies, knowing that any time you left the house you risked being exposed to the deadliest virus known to man. No hazmat suits. No guns (that she had seen anyway). No Rachel to check you for exposure once you returned. No way of knowing whether you were killing your children just by breathing.

"What are you even doing here?" Kara turned to see Danny lounging in the doorway, a hand tangled in Halsey's fur. "And where's Mom?"

The silence in the room grew oppressive, all three Green children staring at their father. Finally Mark dropped a pile of blankets onto the floor, sinking into a chair. "I don't know."

Kara watched the emotions play across Danny's face – confusion, anger, sadness – before he stiffened. "Was she … sick?"

"She didn't come with us." It was Caroline who responded this time, surging to her feet to pace the room, weaving around piles of clothing and boxes and empty containers. "Dad and I came down to get Chris. He was doing nerd camp at George Mason University when things started to go south. Mom was working and I didn't want Dad going alone. It was just supposed to be two days. Drive down to Virginia, grab Chris, and hightail it back to Connecticut."

"Nerd camp?" Kara shot a look at Danny, who shrugged.

"Chris is the smart one. Headed to MIT in the fall to study aerospace engineering," he explained.

" _Was_ headed to MIT in the fall," Chris corrected, the bitterness in his voice clear. "That will never happen now."

"You don't know that, Chris. Things in Massachusetts could be different," Mark began, but Danny cut him off.

"So you picked up Chris. Why didn't you head home?"

There was no way to miss the uneasy glance between Mark and Caroline. "Well, when we got to George Mason, things got weird. Some of the kids were sick so the whole place was quarantined."

"That's standard procedure in an outbreak situation," Danny replied.

"I _know_ that," Caroline snapped. "I'm the nurse, remember?"

"Jeez you're in a bad mood," Danny muttered, crossing the room and throwing himself on the couch next to Kara, causing her stomach to go a little haywire - and not in a good way.

"You would be too if you had crazy people tracking you down," Caroline snapped back. That was enough to have Danny sitting up straight, the movement causing Kara's stomach to heave again. Squeezing her eyes shut, Kara took several deep breaths.

"Enough beating around the bush, what the fuck is going on here? Why are you here? What aren't you telling me?" Danny snapped.

"They're after me, okay Danny?" Four sets of eyes swung to the gangly teenager sitting clumsily on the beanbag, chin jutting out in a way that Kara knew well – it was the way Wright looked when he knew he had screwed something up but wasn't about to admit it. "Everyone died. All the kids on my floor. All the kids in the camp. All the counselors. Everyone died but me. The guards, they didn't believe me at first but after a week, they called in a virologist to check me out. I'm immune to the Red Flu."

Kara gaped at Chris. Rachel had said that immunity was exceedingly rare so the idea that Danny's brother might be one of the lucky few - it was incredible. Danny broke the stunned silence. "You're immune?"

Chris looked uncomfortable. "That's what Doctor Hamada said anyway."

 _Doctor Hamada._

The name rolled around and around in her head and this time Kara knew there was no way to stop her stomach from rebelling, barely managing to grab one of the containers littering the floor before she vomited, emptying her stomach and then some, dry heaving as tears ran down her face. Conscious of Danny rubbing her back, Kara was confused when a water bottle appeared in front of her face and even more surprised when Caroline Green knelt down in front of her, opening a small bag containing a thermometer, several bottles of medication, a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff.

"I assume you were vaccinated for the Red Flu?" Caroline asked, pulling out her stethoscope, her voice cool and confident.

"It's not the virus," Kara managed to croak. "I already had it."

That caught Caroline off guard. "You _had_ it? How is that possible?"

"Kara was one of the test subjects for the vaccine," Danny explained, before quickly changing the subject. "Mizuki Hamada? From Avocet? That's who you were talking about?"

"Yes," Caroline confirmed. "Total asshole. Talked to us like we were idiots. He actually wanted Dad to sign some paper giving him guardianship and letting them conduct a bunch of tests on Chris. Like that was ever going to happen. So we broke out of there."

"You broke out?" Danny's voice was doubtful.

Caroline rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine, I spiked their drinks with Ambien and we left. We couldn't go home. They could have been looking for us. So we came here. When we ran out of food we headed over to the shelter and told them our last name was Pearson, just in case someone was still trying to find us."

Kara found herself feeling impressed despite the pounding headache she was now sporting. Danny had spoken about his sister rarely, giving Kara the impression that the two didn't get along well, but from what Kara was hearing, the woman was pretty damn competent, and had probably saved her brother's life.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore," Danny was saying. "Hamada's dead."

"How do you know?" Mark asked.

"Did you kill him?" Chris's voice sounded almost excited, the sound of a teenage boy who played too many video games. Of someone who didn't understand the toll that killing another human being, no matter how necessary or justified, took on your soul.

"No but…"

"I did," Kara said flatly, taking a swig of water as every eye in the room turned towards her. "I didn't have a big sister around to save me, so I did it myself. I stabbed him to death with a syringe."

Kara wasn't sure what she was expecting, but Caroline's crackling laughter certainly wasn't it. She pulled a thermometer out of her bag, popping it into Kara's mouth without stopping to ask. "Good for you. I like this one, Danny. Maybe she'll stab you the next time you do something asinine."


	23. You can kid the world, but not your sis

_Ch. 23 - "You can kid the world, but not your sister." – Charlotte Gray_

 _x_

He should be ecstatic.

Last night was perfect. Not because of the sex, well, not _just_ because of the sex, because that was pretty damn good. The chemistry between him and Kara had been obvious to Danny from the moment they met. But rather than burning out or even returning to a simmer as he would have expected, Danny found himself craving her more, not less, as they grew closer, raw desire merging with an emotional response more compelling than anything he had felt before. _A desire to be with her, to protect her, to make her smile._ Kara's acknowledgement that, despite him screwing up pretty much everything, she loved him had made him feel like the luckiest man alive. Sure there were still things to work out but he and Kara were _finally_ on the right path, moving forward together. It was a thousand times more than he hoped for when they left the Nathan James the evening before.

And, as the cherry on top of his perfect evening, Danny had, effectively, won the best lottery in the world. His father, his siblings, were alive. So he should be ecstatic. And he was – ecstatic, that was. Overjoyed, thrilled, thankful beyond comprehension.

 _He was also ready to dump his sister by the side of the road._

An hour, that's how long it took for Caro to burrow under his skin, making him wish that she was safe and sound in a galaxy far, far away. She was nosy, opinionated, brash, and annoying as hell when she fixated on something. And right now she was fixated on Danny and Kara's decision to return to the Nathan James, taking umbrage over something that had absolutely nothing to do with her.

"So who is this Scott woman?" Caro demanded from the backseat of the Jeep where she, Kara, and Chris were sitting, Halsey wedged under their feet.

Kara didn't answer, but without looking into the rear seat – something that he probably shouldn't do given that it was pitch black outside and many of the streets were so jammed with stalled or abandoned cars that they were barely passable – Danny couldn't tell if Kara was ignoring the question, or getting ready to hurl again. The vomiting was, of course, the reason that they were out here in the middle of the night to begin with. One time could be blamed on an emotional reaction to hearing Hamada's name. A second time could be a reaction to the first. By the third time, Danny was confident that Doctor Scott would prefer that Kara return to the ship.

Unfortunately, Danny made the mistake of saying so in front of his sister, who instantly took offense since, as Caro put it, _she was perfectly capable of dealing with a stomachache_.

Danny supposed that he could have enlightened Caro to the circumstances that made this so much more than a stomachache, but he felt strangely reluctant to do so. From the very beginning, everything about his relationship with Kara, about the pregnancy, about the baby, had been backwards – Kara learning she was pregnant from Doctor Scott, Wright spilling the beans to Danny, Kara's first ultrasound being under the worst circumstances possible. But telling their families, that was a moment that they could still salvage. It was something they could do together and make special – or at least normal. Danny didn't want to lose that moment simply because his sister was a pain in the ass.

"She's a doctor," Danny explained shortly.

"You mean a med tech," Caro lectured. "Navy ships don't have real doctors. I probably have more training than she does."

Danny thought he might have heard a snort from the backseat as he made a sharp right, a move he instantly regretted when Kara puked again.

Caro gave an exasperated sigh. "Do you need to take the corners so sharply? Honestly, I don't understand why you insisted on dragging us all out here."

"Nobody asked you to come," Danny snapped. Back at the apartment, splitting up didn't seem like a good idea, which is why Danny didn't protest Caro's suggestion that they all take Kara back to the ship. It was a decision that he was lamenting more with each passing second. "And, for the record, Doctor Scott is a real doctor. Hell, she's better than a doctor. She has like ten degrees. She's the one who developed the cure to the virus."

That silenced Caro for a second before she tackled a new question, her voice suspicious. "Why did you have a virologist on board a Navy vessel?"

Mark must have decided it was time to step in. "Kara is obviously sick. It makes sense that she would want to return to the ship and see a doctor who she is comfortable with. Now I suggest that the two of you stop bickering. It's giving me a headache."

There was a humph from the backseat but at least Caro remained blessedly silent as they approached the entrance to the base. Upon their arrival there was a short delay when the guard, a man Danny didn't recognize so must be with the new recruits, asked for identification and Danny discovered that none of his family was carrying any. Fifteen minutes and a call to the Nathan James later (a call which served the additional purpose of letting the XO know they were on route), they were on their way.

Danny glanced at his father. "Why aren't you carrying your license?"

"Ham.." Mark began, glancing towards Kara and stopping. "The men holding us took all of our cards. There wasn't time to look for them after Caroline knocked the guards out. We weren't sure how long they would sleep."

Danny gripped the steering wheel as his father's words sunk in. Hamada took their identification. That was obviously the reason why Mark and Caro made the decision to head south to Norfolk rather than north to Connecticut – Hamada knew their home addresses, and they were worried that he would come looking for Chris. Danny took a deep breath, reminding himself that both Granderson and Hamada were dead.

But that didn't mean that Chris was in the clear any more than Kara was.

Michael was the one who raised the alarm, pulling Tex aside to mention that several of the Avocet scientists were missing following the attack on the facility. At first, they assumed that the men were either killed or had gone into hiding rather than face the truth of what they were involved in. But when Rachel and Michael began looking into the records, it became clear that while the vast majority of the people living at Avocet, including Michael, were unaware of Hamada's vile research, he was not working alone. In fact, Hamada's protégé – a man by the name of Ferguson – was among the missing. Further digging brought to light the disturbing fact that Ferguson copied a significant amount of information from the Avocet computers before disappearing.

Since asking either Kara or Alisha to return to the Avocet building was out of the question, the XO put Nishioka in charge of figuring out what Ferguson took and, although Danny found Carl long-winded and rather pompous, the man knew computers. Although Nishioka was unable to determine the specific information Ferguson was after, he could tell that Ferguson now possessed everything Granderson and Hamada had on the Nathan James, its mission, its crew, and Doctor Rachel Scott – including the information entered about Kara's pregnancy.

Logically, Danny knew that Ferguson most likely took what he could in the hopes of somehow using Doctor Scott's research on the cure, information which was freely available now that the Baltimore lab was up and running and pumping out the vaccine at the rate of thousands of doses per hour. There was certainly no reason to think that the man cared about one pregnant Navy lieutenant. Still, Danny found the fact that someone out there possessed private, medical information about Kara, about their baby, was unsettling.

And now it seemed that he needed to worry about Chris as well.

Pulling to a stop just beyond the ship, Danny pushed away thoughts of Baltimore and Hamada and crazy-ass scientists. Chris moved out of the way without prompting and Danny took Kara's arm to help her out of the Jeep, noticing that she was shaking and Halsey was sticking unusually close to her side. "Are you okay to walk?"

The glare that Kara gave him was ice cold. "I'm _fine_."

"Do you need assistance, Lieutenant Green?" Cruz's voice cut through the quiet night air.

 _Fuck._

Why, out of all of the people on this ship, did Teylor have to be on duty tonight? Hoping to get rid of the man, Danny spun around. "Lieutenant Foster's sick. Could you see if Doctor Scott is ready to see her?"

"Of course, sir." The response was immediate. Unfortunately, Teylor chose to do so via radio rather than in person.

"What is he doing here?" Caro hissed as she slid out of the jeep door after Kara.

"He's on overnight watch," Danny replied, before dropping his voice. "This is my ship, Caroline. Do not embarrass me in front of my men."

"Of course that's what you are worried about," Caro scoffed. "Your precious reputation. God you're simple. Eat, shoot people, and fuck. _Ooh-rah!_ "

"Lieutenants Green and Foster, Doctor Scott will meet you at sick bay," Teylor announced. "XO cleared your guests to board once they are searched."

Caro's mouth actually dropped open. _"Excuse me?"_

Turning, Danny pinned her with his eyes. "Petty Officer Cruz needs to search you for weapons before you are allowed on the Nathan James."

"You're going to let _him_ search me?"

Mark stepped between the two in an effort to defuse the situation while Cruz quickly patted down Chris, who Danny suddenly realized was being unusually quiet. Overwhelmed, he assumed, by the events of the day. "This is a military vessel, Caroline. They aren't going to let us on with taking some precautions."

"You are welcome to wait for a female assist, ma'am," Cruz said coolly.

Danny ground his teeth together. "For fuck's sake, Caro, you slept with the guy. I think you can tolerate him patting you down."

For a moment, he thought that Caro might actually attack him, before she turned her furious gaze on Teylor. "What did you tell him?"

Taking in Kara's narrowed eyes and Chris's wide stare, Danny belatedly realizing that outing his sister and Teylor might not have been the best choice - especially in front of his father. "He didn't tell me anything, Caro. You aren't as sneaky as you think you are."

Other than the dark red flush on Teylor's cheeks, there was no outward change in his demeanor as he first patted down Mark, the silence beyond awkward as both men made every effort to avoid eye contact, before moving on to Caro. "All set Mr. Green, Ms. Green."

As the five of them made their way on board, Kara glanced over at Danny. "As far as awkward family introductions go, I think Cruz might have me beat."

Behind him, Danny heard Chris snort, then break into full-blown laughter, as Caro badgered the teenager to tell her what, exactly, was so funny. Thankfully, the walk to sick bay was short and Doctor Scott was waiting there when they arrived, fully dressed with her hazmat suit tied around her waist as though she had been in the lab, making Danny wonder if the woman ever slept.

Doctor Scott took one look at Kara as she leaned against Danny's arm, cradling a container before her just in case there wasn't time to reach a bathroom, and bustled across the room.

"All of you out. Including you, Danny." Danny opened his mouth to argue but Doctor Scott cut him off. "If Kara agrees, I'll call you back in a few minutes for the scan."

Kara gave him a sharp nod before turning towards the small room, Halsey still at her side.

"Fine." Although it wasn't what he preferred, Danny figured that the quicker Doctor Scott checked Kara, the quicker they would know that nothing was wrong and he could relax. He turned towards his family. "The crew lounge is down the corridor. You'll be more comfortable there."

Fifteen minutes later his family was settled in the lounge, Chris already asleep on the couch and Mark leaning back with his eyes closed. Danny found himself pacing back and forth, unable to stay still as he waited for Doctor Scott to appear. Not that he was overly worried. Kara's morning sickness seemed to come and go rather frequently and Doctor Scott said that was normal. But he hated the fact that he was here, babysitting his family, rather than sitting next to Kara where he belonged.

Throwing himself down on a chair next to his sleeping brother, Danny was suddenly aware that Caro was gazing at him smugly. "What now?"

"Nothing. Just thinking. About all of the reasons that a woman sleeping with my brother might be tossing her cookies." Caro took a sip of her coffee, her smile growing wider. "And about all of the stories that I need to tell Kara. I think she deserves to know what she's getting herself into. Don't you agree?"

Danny took in the evil glint in his sister's eye and felt his own stomach turn over.

 _Oh shit._


	24. Do Not Make Someone a Priority Who Puts

_Ch. 24 – Do Not Make Someone a Priority Who Puts You in Second Place_

 _x_

"Any symptoms other than the vomiting?" Rachel asked as Kara eased onto the bunk, moving slowly as not to jar her stomach any more than she needed to. "Bleeding, cramping, sharp pains in your abdomen?"

"No," Kara replied with a sight. "I think it was a combination of being woken up in the middle of the night and not eating right away. Oh, and then Danny's driving."

Rachel's eyebrows rose. "Exciting night then?"

"You could say that," Kara confirmed.

Rather than pulling out her equipment, as Kara was expecting, Rachel sat carefully on the side of the bunk. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The quiet words surprised Kara. Although Rachel had been there during some of the most difficult, and most emotional, moments of Kara's life, their relationship was one that was hard for Kara to label. Rachel had kept Kara's confidence, even at the expense of incurring Captain Chandler's fury, but was that professionalism or friendship? And, in the end, why did it matter?

 _Because it did_.

Just like it mattered how Danny introduced her to his family tonight, and how she introduced him to her mother earlier today. Whether or not they _should_ , labels mattered.

"Are you asking as my doctor or my friend?" The words slipped out and Kara immediately wished that she could claw them back. The question was too revealing, her emotions too raw, her thoughts too jumbled after the events of the day. _Finding her mother. Telling Danny she loved him. Meeting his family so unexpectedly._ It felt like a year – rather than a mere seven hours – since she and Danny left the Nathan James with plans to gather some clothes and hash things out.

But Rachel didn't seem thrown by the question. Instead she gave a slight self-deprecating smile. "I would like to think that we are friends. Although, in the interests of full disclosure, I have never been very good at making friends. Kelly has told me that I'm quite bad at it, actually. Something about being overly focused on my work."

Rachel sounded so fatalistic that Kara laughed. "I've been accused of the same thing. Spending half my year out to sea doesn't help."

"Still, though," and now Rachel's tone was almost wistful, "there are times when all you really want is a cup of tea and a friend to share it with."

That was a sentiment Kara understood. "I'm usually a coffee drinker, but right now a cup of tea sounds great. Do you want to go to the wardroom?"

Rachel shook her head. "Given the circumstances, I think it would be better for you to stay here. Commander Slattery's orders were not to let you out of sickbay for at least an hour after the vomiting ceased. The man seems to have a serious aversion to bodily fluids. Besides, as a precaution, I want to give you an IV."

Fifteen minutes later – a blissful fifteen minutes with no vomiting, the gentle roll of the ship much more relaxing than Danny's rather jerky driving – Rachel returned with a steaming carafe and two cups of tea. "This is my own special blend. I save it for special occasions."

Kara took the cup. Truthfully, she was not a tea drinker, but it was better for the baby than coffee and this looked far more appealing than the dry Lipton teabags that Bacon kept trying to press on her. "It smells delicious."

"I let Danny know that your vomiting had ceased and I would come get him once the IV was finished. He and his sister were arguing about something. She seems feisty," Rachel commented as she resumed her seat on the very edge of the bunk, a position that Kara knew from experience was rather uncomfortable. She scooted towards the wall, taking care not to pull the IV line.

"You'll be more comfortable if you swing your feet up," she explained, waiting until Rachel did so. "I held her at gunpoint."

Rachel almost dropping her cup. "Caroline Green?"

Kara buried her nose in the cup, inhaling the vapor. "Yes. Not that I knew who she was at the time. Mark and Christopher woke us up coming through the door. Since we weren't expecting anyone I went down the fire escape while Danny went for the door and I ran right into her. It seemed the prudent thing to do."

"That was quite the introduction to Danny's family," Rachel observed, hiding her smile behind her cup.

Kara wrinkled her nose. "It definitely took a few minutes to get everything sorted out. Apparently they were at a safe zone and decided to return to Danny's place after the cure arrived."

"What time was that?"

Kara took a tentative sip, making sure the tea wasn't too hot. "Around eleven, I think?"

"Rather late to be moving around," Rachel noted.

Kara gave a noncommittal grunt. She assumed that the Greens left the safe zone as soon as they could do so without raising suspicions, not wanting anyone to discover that they were using a false name – but that wasn't her secret to tell.

Fortunately Rachel was distracted. "A combination of too little sleep, adrenaline, and lack of food could have caused the nausea. Not that there needs to be a reason, unfortunately. Hormone shifts during pregnancy are common."

Kara fiddled with her cup. "Hamada's name came up. That's what started it."

Silence fell between the two women. Finally Rachel leaned forward to adjust Kara's IV, giving her hand a squeeze. "That type of reaction is not uncommon, Kara. It has only been a few weeks. Give yourself time."

For a moment Kara vacillated on how much she could reveal, before deciding that a more thorough explanation of Hamada's relationship to the Greens needed to come from Danny. She grimaced. "It still wasn't the impression that I was hoping to give."

"Do they know about…" Rachel trailed off, waving her hand towards Kara's midsection.

"No," Kara quickly replied. "We didn't tell my mother either."

"I was pleased to hear that you located your mother," Rachel said conversationally, probably attempting to shift the topic to a more pleasant topic. "She was at a safe zone, correct? She wasn't infected?"

"No, she was in good health. I just hope that she stays that way." When that earned her a raised eyebrow. Kara took a deep breath. Debbie's condition was so well-known among the crew that Kara had forgotten Rachel might not be aware of her _condition_. "My mother drinks. A lot. She claims to be sober now. It makes things … complicated."

"Are you thinking about remaining in Norfolk with her?" Rachel asked, finishing her own tea and moving across the room to refill her cup. She held up the pot to Kara, who declined, her own cup still half-full.

"Yes…and no." As always when she discussed Debbie, Kara found finding the words she wanted difficult. "Five months is the longest she's ever gone without a drink. I feel like I _should_ stay to help her, make sure she doesn't start drinking again."

"Ah, the guilt factor," Rachel concluded. "My father used it for years after my mother died. Every time I mentioned remaining at school during a break, he would remind me of how many more people I could help if I joined him in whatever far-flung part of the world he was proselytization. Of course, his version of _helping_ meant spending hours praying for their souls rather than doing anything remotely useful."

Now _that_ was not information that Kara was expecting. "I assume that you grew up in England."

Rachel stared down at her tea. "My parents were missionaries. We moved to Burkina Faso when I was eight. Within the year my mother caught malaria and died. Her death could have been prevented, but my father refused the treatment and my mother would never go against her husband on anything, even if it meant saving her life."

"I'm sorry."

"It's what drove me to become a doctor," Rachel continued. "Not the death itself, but the woman who attempted to treat my mother. She stood up to my father, argued with him when he declined the medication. It was the first time that I understood that my father was not infallible, that there might be another path. I have thought of that woman many times over the years, wondering if she knew what an impact she had on me."

"Is your father still alive? Or was he, before the virus?" Kara asked.

"Last I heard, he was in the Congo in a rather isolated village. Probably one of the safer places to be, given the state of the world. I haven't seen him since I turned eighteen and left for Yale," Rachel's voice was tight and clipped, and Kara knew without asking that there was far more to this story that a father and daughter divided by geography. How could there not be? Rachel grew up to practice medicine – an occupation that her father apparently rejected – and given Rachel's past comments on religion, it was obvious that she did not share her father's spiritual zeal.

"I never met my dad. He died before I was born. Before my mom even knew she was pregnant, actually," Kara said softly.

Rachel considered that information. "Your mother never remarried?"

"No," Kara shook her head. "I know she wanted to. She was always chasing this guy or that guy, but things never worked out. That's why she moved to Norfolk. There was nothing holding her in Kansas and I finally convinced her that the Navy wasn't a phase, that I was really in for the long haul. I thought being here would give her a fresh start but nothing really changed. If she really hasn't had a drink in five months, that's the longest she has ever gone. The people at that safe zone love her, they depend on her and…."

Kara stopped, shocked at how easily the words rolled off her tongue, the anger and frustration that she normally kept bottling up spilling out in a rush of words.

Rachel tilted her head slightly, the way she often did when she was thinking. "And you don't want to be here if she falls off the wagon."

"I don't want to see their disappointment." Kara's eyes closed for the briefest of seconds before meeting Rachel's eyes directly. "It's more than that though. Captain Chandler just promoted me to TAO. I know that eventually I'll have to leave the ship, but I want to be useful for as long as possible, to help spread the cure as much as I can."

"Well, then it sounds to me like you've made your decision," Rachel said, taking a final sip of her tea. "I'm sure that Danny will be happy to hear that you are remaining on board. Were the two of you able to talk before his family arrived?"

"A little. There wasn't much time." Before Rachel could press on that – Kara didn't want to go into details about what they did manage to find time to do – Kara rushed on. "And I didn't think to ask him whether he wanted to stay in Norfolk."

Comprehension lit Rachel's eyes. "Because of his family? They seem perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. I don't see why Danny would stay here with them."

And _that_ was why Kara hated having to skip over important details, obviously Rachel wouldn't understand when she didn't know the backstory. "They ran into some trouble, that's why they are here in Norfolk rather than their home in Connecticut."

"And you're worried that he is going to leave the ship because of that trouble?" Rachel asked, a tint of surprise – or maybe confusion – in her voice. "Even were you were to remain on-board?"

" _This is why we're not supposed to... I love you. Just stay away from me."_

Kara's hand squeezed her cup until she was surprised that it didn't shatter as Danny's words echoed in her head. Only hours earlier she had made the decision to stop falling back into her old pattern of putting Debbie's wants and needs first; to stay with the ship not just because of the mission, but because she wanted to stay with Danny – to see where this thing growing between them would go. But now Danny was being faced with that same decision, and Kara was afraid that, when push came to shove, he would make a different choice.

 _Scared that Danny would choose to stay here with his family._

 _Scared that this was Gitmo all over again._

 _Scared that she wasn't enough._

"Yes."


	25. to decide forever to have your heart

_Ch. 25 -_ " _Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." – Elizabeth Stone_

 _x_

"Fuck this chair is uncomfortable," Danny muttered, before shooting a quick glance at his father to make sure the man was asleep. Mark was not a fan of foul language.

Caro huffed. "Really, Danny? You're going to complain to _me_ about one night in a chair when I've spent the last three weeks sleeping on the floor of a grocery store?"

"Poor baby. I suppose you also had to spend four months freezing your ass off in the Arctic looking for bird shit." Danny's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Nope. Just months of searching buildings for food, never knowing whether I was going to come back with food or the Red Flu," Caro replied sugar-sweet.

"Kind of like raiding a hospital full of _infected bodies_ to get supplies?"

"I worked in a hospital, Danny. I did that _every day_ ," Caro scoffed.

"Unless people were shooting at you at the time, it wasn't the same thing _at all_."

Caro folded her arms across her chest. "I went three months without a shower."

"We went ten days without water."

That caught Caro's attention. "How is that even possible? You were on a _boat_."

"Fresh water," Danny clarified. "The James' seawater service system intake was damaged. We couldn't filter water until it was fixed, which really sucks when you're sitting dead in the middle of the ocean."

 _Two days without water._

 _Two._

 _Knowing that on day three people would start to die._

That last day, sitting in the helo bay, too hot and lethargic to do anything except pray that they would make it to Serrana Bank, Danny couldn't take his eyes of Kara. She was so wan, so pale – _and yet so incredibly beautiful_ – as the brutal heat took its toll. When she lifted her gaze to meet his – unable to completely hide the longing, the pain – it had taken every ounce of his self-control not to reach over and clasp her hand, slide his arm around her shoulders, pull her against her chest.

 _Because if he was going to die, the last thing he wanted to see was her face. The last thing he wanted to feel was her body curled up next to his. The last thing he wanted to imagine was the future they might have had if things were different._

Caro's voice drew him back to the present. "Six weeks of hiding from Hamada."

Danny narrowed his eyes at his sister, ready to tear into her for the mere suggestion that what Hamada did to Chris was worse than what he did to Kara, before remembering that Caro didn't know what happened in Baltimore, didn't know how close he came to losing everything. Not that it would necessarily have made a difference – Caro rarely pulled her punches – but she wasn't cruel. Not usually. "Two months evading the Russians, who almost killed me twice, by the way, first in the Arctic and then again down at Cuba. Finally got rid of them and then we ran into Hamada, who wasn't exactly an improvement."

"Telling Mom that we would be back in two days and having no way to tell her why we didn't come home or warn her that people might show up looking for us."

Danny's stomach twisted as he imagined his mother back in Cornwall, worrying more and more as the days passed and Mark and Caro failed to return, wondering what had happened to them, to Chris, to Danny, not knowing where they were or if they were sick or even if they were dead or alive – the same hell that Commander Garnett and Commander Slattery had gone through every day since the Nathan James left the Arctic. Of course, that assumed Joanne was still alive. If Hamada sent people to Connecticut looking for Chris, Joanne might have been dead before Danny even knew there was such a thing as the Red Flu.

"I tried calling from the Arctic, once we found out how bad things were here. I couldn't reach any of you. I thought you were dead." Danny swallowed, throat tight as he remembered the words he threw at Kara in Gitmo. _Frankie's dead. So are my parents, probably, and so are yours, everyone else's in the whole damn world._ He had given up on them, unable to believe that this reunion was possible.

"We had no idea where you were. Dad tried calling the Navy, but all they would tell us was that you were on a classified mission and couldn't be reached. It seemed ridiculous. What mission could _possibly_ matter when the world was going to hell?" Caro snorted. "I guess I was wrong about that one. Apparently I owe some guy at the Pentagon an apology."

"He's probably dead anyway," Danny replied with a shrug, the gallows humor drawing a brief smile from Caro before her eyes grew distant.

"When we tried to pick up Chris they wouldn't even let us on the campus. They made all of the families wait in the chapel next door. You can't imagine what it was like there, waiting with the other families, everyone knowing what the end result would be but nobody willing to say the words."

Danny opened his mouth to correct Caro – because he _did_ know what it was like to wait, begging for updates only to secretly curse the messenger who delivered the inevitable bad news, knowing that every odd was against survival, yet unable to eliminate that tiny spark of irrational hope for a miracle – but then Caro pulled her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees. It was that moment of vulnerability, so unlike his sister, that made him wait silently for her to finish.

Caro leaned her chin on her knee, fingers playing with the cuff of her sweatshirt. "Every time the chaplain arrived the whole room would hold its breath until he announced the name of the deceased, and then the crying would start – sometimes even screaming – and the family would be led out. At first I held my breath too, crying in relief each time that it wasn't Chris, but by the end I just wanted to get it over with. I couldn't stand being there, seeing all of those families leaving, the room slowly emptying, knowing that all of those kids were dead."

He understood. Caro got her miracle – Chris's immunity – just like Danny got his – Rachel saving Kara and the baby – but that "happy" ending didn't take away the pain, the agony of living through hours that felt like years, the torment of wondering why you were spared when so many others were not. "I stood there while my best friend shot himself in the head."

Caro sucked in her breath, eyes darting from her sleeve to his face. "Frankie killed himself?"

"We needed fuel and supplies so we boarded a cruise ship." Danny stared at the ceiling. "Everyone was dead. The virus, of course. Frankie's mask came off and he got exposed. Said he didn't want to die like that."

"I gave a few people pills," Caro admitted softly. Danny's gaze jerked to her face, noticing the way she wouldn't meet his eyes. "The hospital ran out of pain medication quickly. We didn't keep much on hand, the usual procedure was to send anyone with serious injuries on to a larger facility and it wasn't like we could just order more. I couldn't give them anything to dull the pain, but I could give them something to stop it. Shows how much I believe in the Hippocratic Oath."

Danny made sure to meet her eyes. He knew what it was like to take a life, the burden that it put on your soul. Right or wrong, Caro needed to know that he wouldn't judge her for her actions. "You did the best you could under shitty circumstances. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Caro blinked a few times before she suddenly straightened, brushing away a tear that was sliding down her cheek. "God this is embarrassing. I'm acting like a pregnant woman. Which I can't possibly be because I haven't gotten laid in months. Doubt you can say the same thing."

"Pretty sure you could solve that problem as soon as Teylor's off duty," Danny retorted although, to be honest, the idea of his sister having sex was one that made him feel slightly nauseous.

"You offering your place?" Caro challenged. "Because I might just take you up on that."

"Just make sure to change the sheets," Danny quipped, barely holding back a convulsion at the thought of Caro and Teylor having sex _in his bed_.

"And here I thought teenage girls were bad," a familiar voice remarked. Jerking upright, Danny barely stifled a groan as he took in the sight of the XO lounging in the doorway, coffee cup in hand, looking completely awake and chipper despite the hour, wondering how long the man had been listening.

"It's best to ignore them when they get like this," Mark commented, his voice rough with sleep. Caro's eyes widened, flickering to her father and then back to Danny, obviously wondering just how much Mark had overheard. "Separately they're both fully functioning adults – for the most part. Together they're basically three year olds fighting over a lollipop."

"Ah, the old ignore the bad behavior in the hopes that it will stop technique," Mike commented. He took a gulp of his coffee. "I never found that particularly effective."

"Believe it or not, they were worse as teenagers," Mark replied with a faint smile. He stood, holding out a hand. "Your girls must be well-behaved."

Danny sucked in a breath at Mark's casual reference to Commander Slattery's missing family, but the man himself didn't miss a beat, folding his hand over Mark's. "They have their moments."

"I'm Mark Green. Danny's father. That's my daughter Caroline and son Chris." Mark's voice cracked, his left hand coming up so that both hands shook Slattery's. "Thank you for bringing my boy home."

With a crash of comprehension, Danny realized that the gut-twisting anxiety he had been feeling every day since Kara told him that he was going to be a father – the elation upon receiving the news despite the circumstances, the panic when he realized that Kara might start a new life without him, the horror upon learning what Hamada had done, the fear that he might never get to meet his child – _it was never going away._ Danny was almost thirty, a grown man a thousand times more capable of surviving in the hellish world they found themselves in than his father, a man who had spent the last seven months in the relative comfort and safety of the Nathan James, and yet his father was worried about him.

The XO did not appear to be having a similar revelation. He simply waited while Mark composed himself. "Your son has been an incredible asset to the ship. One of the finest officers I have had the pleasure of serving with. You raised him well."

While the compliment was clearly directed towards Mark, Danny couldn't help but hope that the words were true. That, despite everything he did wrong – the loss of his team, the situation with Kara, his screw-up at Gitmo – he hadn't let the crew, the CO, the XO, down completely.

"And you trained him well. He had me pinned before I got through the apartment door," Mark replied wryly. "Didn't even see him."

There really was no reason to point out that Mark's failure to notice Danny _might_ have been at least partially due to the fact that he was looking over his shoulder as he lectured Chris and paying absolutely no attention to his surroundings. How his family managed to evade Hamada's man eluded Danny.

"I imagine that was a shock." Slattery's eyes flickered and Danny could see him putting the pieces together. "You were at Green's place? I recall that Master Chief cleared it earlier today. Said nobody was there."

Danny wondered if his surprise at Slattery's words showed. Obviously the XO, and presumably the Captain, were keeping a closer eye on the search for survivors in Norfolk than the crew realized. "They were at a safe zone. Under the name Pearson."

"Sorry to impose on you in the middle of the night like this," Mark interjected, looking visibly uneasy with the topic. It was a hesitation that Danny understood. For a moment, back there at the apartment, Danny had been ready to take out his own father in order to give Kara a chance to escape. Mark wouldn't do anything that might endanger his children.

Slattery gave Danny a measuring glance, one that made it clear that he wasn't finished with this topic. "It's no problem at all. Actually, I came by to offer you folks slightly better accommodations than the crew lounge for the night – or what's left of it."

Mark quickly glanced at Danny, who nodded, relieved that he wasn't going to have to choose between spending the night with Kara or with his family. "We would appreciate that. It's been a long day and none of us have gotten much sleep lately."

"I'll have someone show you to a cabin. Any word on Lieutenant Foster?"

The last was directed at Danny, who tried to think of a delicate way to update the XO, Slattery's feelings on morning sickness, as well as motion sickness, the stomach flu, and drunken nights out, were well-known among the crew, but came up empty. "Doctor Scott said the vomiting stopped once we got here."

"Ugh." Slattery actually shuddered, his dislike of vomit well-known among the crew. "I told Doctor Scott to keep her in sick bay for the night just in case."

Caro leaned towards Danny, her voice amused. "Is big, bad Navy guy _really_ bothered by a little puke? What does he think about blood?"

Danny barely restrained a groan, giving it a fifty percent chance that Slattery overhead her comment. Was Caro _trying_ to get kicked off the ship?

" _Shut up_ ," he hissed at his sister before raising his voice. "Doctor Scott wanted to give Kara an IV for dehydration. Should be done soon."

"Good. Last thing we need is to have our TAO out of commission," Slattery retorted. His eyes narrowed as he, once again, took in the Greens. "Unless you and Foster have decided to remain in Norfolk after all."

"No, sir, we're remaining on mission," Danny rushed to reassure the XO.

It wasn't until he looked back towards his family that Danny saw the hurt on Caro's face. Then she spoke, her tone the saccharine-sweet tone she knew drove him batty. "After all, we wouldn't want to ruin Danny's Navy career."

Danny opened his mouth, then closed it, realizing that he had no idea what to say.

 _Well, fuck._


	26. All our dreams can come true

_Chapter 26_

 _x_

"Danny?" Rachel's appearance – after seeing her every day for the past three weeks, Danny could no longer think of her as _Doctor Scott_ or _the Ice Queen_ (as Berchem was fond of saying) – was a welcome break from the scene on loop in Danny's head, the one that inevitably ended with him standing there stupidly, unable to think of a single coherent thing to say, while his sister swept out of the crew lounge. Not that it was unusual for Caro to be angry at him, she wasn't exactly known for her easy-going personality and Danny stopped trying to make nice long ago, but the betrayal he glimpsed on Caro's face before she turned away, the hurt, that was what he couldn't shake.

 _Was Caro right? Was he putting the Navy before his own family? And, even if he was – because Danny couldn't say that Caro was wrong – wasn't it still the right thing to do? Didn't spreading the cure to hundreds, to thousands of people outweigh the risk that Hamada's lackeys were still after Chris?_

No matter how many times Danny asked himself the question, no matter how he reworked it, he got no closer to an answer. Instead, he felt a yearning for the days before the virus hit, when the toughest moral dilemma he faced was whether to spend Christmas in L.A. with Frankie or in Connecticut with Rebecca. Back when family and duty were two separate worlds. Back when orders came in and were followed without question, any moral ambiguity a problem for someone far higher than him on the chain of command. Back when he had never so much as considered the possibility that those he left at home might be at risk.

Turning to Rachel, he scanned her face. "How is Kara?"

"She fell asleep during the IV drip, but everything looks okay. I'll do a follow-up ultrasound in the morning but I suspect it was a bout of morning sickness brought on by adrenaline and the situation," Rachel explained, her voice tired. She lowered herself into the chair that Mark had vacated no more than twenty minutes ago, her eyes slipping closed, and Danny wondered when she last slept.

"Kara told you then? About Chris being immune?" Danny assumed as much, knowing that Rachel would be curious about the circumstances that resulted in Danny and Kara arriving back at the ship in the middle of the night with his family in tow.

But instead of the corroboration that Danny was expecting, Rachel's head snapped up. "Your brother is immune to the virus?"

"Um, yeah, that's what Chris was told anyway. Apparently Hamada found out. He wanted to bring Chris to Avocet to do _experiments_. Dad refused but Hamada's men tried to hold them anyway. That's why they were here in Norfolk, rather than Connecticut where they lived. They've been hiding from Granderson."

Rachel's eyes were wider than saucers. "Do you know what this mean? This might be the link we were missing!"

Danny hesitated, aware that his medical knowledge was slim, but "Didn't you already get that information from Bertrise?"

Rachel gave a self-deprecating laugh. "I forget, sometimes, that I am not dealing with trained scientists. Natural immunity is a complex issue, Danny. For example, it is rarely a single gene, but rather a combination of genes, that provides resistance to an illness. Identifying that combination is painstaking work. But by comparing tissue samples from your brother and Betrise, I might be able to determine at least some of the genes responsible for their immunity. That information could allow us to develop a safer version of the vaccine, one with fewer side effects, and would be crucial should the virus mutate and the current treatment no longer be effective."

Striding across the room, her earlier exhaustion disappearing, Rachel reached for the phone connecting the lounge to the bridge. "Hello, yes, this is Doctor Scott. I need to see Commander Slattery as soon as possible. Yes, I know what time it is. Well then wake him up. It's important."

Hanging up from her one-sided conversation, Rachel turned to Danny, her eyes lit with an excitement that he had seen only once before – when she had her breakthrough during the vaccination trials. "I have been in contact with Doctor Hunter, my mentor and an extremely talented virologist, as well as an expert in vaccine production. He has been working on a method to aerosol the cure, which would allow us to drop it via helicopter. The problem has been making sure that enough of the vaccine reaches the ground. But if we were able to develop a way to make the vaccine more potent, a smaller dose would be required."

Rachel was still chatting on about the development of the aerosol cure when the XO appeared in the doorway dressed in a Nathan James t-shirt and sweatpants, obviously having been interrupted on his way to bed. "Granderson told me that this was an emergency. Please tell me she was joking."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Four hours and one catnap later, Danny poured himself another cup of coffee as he stared blankly across the wardroom, waiting for Slattery to fill the Captain in on the situation and issue a summons. Danny hoped that the briefing wouldn't take too long. His family would quickly realize that something was afoot if he stalled leaving the Nathan James too long this morning.

"Thank you Sonya."

Danny barely suppressed a groan at the sound of Caro's voice. Of _all_ people, why did she have to be the one that found him here?

"Anytime, Ms. Green. If you need anything else, let me know and I'll be happy to assist," a voice that Danny recognized as belonging to Seaman Jackman – apparently her first name was Sonya – responded.

Danny looked up as Caro waltzed into the room, the words coming out rather harsher than planned. "Don't you dare start."

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," Caro replied as she headed towards the spread of food laid out on the side-bench. "My roommate for the evening very helpfully directed me here to get some breakfast. Apparently Commander Slattery is pulling out the stops for us. It makes me wonder why."

Hiding the truth now would only backfire. "They know about Chris. Doctor Scott wants to talk to him and Dad about some tissue samples that might help her research."

Caro silently filled her plate, her face unreadable when she finally turned back to Danny. "The eggs look delicious. I can't remember the last time I saw this much food at one time."

Familiar guilt ate at Danny, the awareness of how lucky he was to have been on the Nathan James when the virus hit, the knowledge of how lucky he was to have food and water (for the most part) and not to have to worry about being exposed to the virus every time he left his bunk, the recognition that dumb luck spared him from the fate of millions. "Bacon is a miracle worker. Plus, we restocked once we got here."

"Apparently the Navy hasn't learned how to share," Caro replied, her breezy tone at odds with her suggestion that the Navy was hoarding food stores while the people in Norfolk suffered.

"The base warehouse was pretty well stocked. Lieutenant Anders and his team are distributing the food throughout the city," Danny countered, although he knew that he had no reason to feel defensive. Caro just had a way of getting under his skin, poking at him until he reacted, and the lack of sleep didn't help. "But you know that already. You were at a safe zone yesterday when they came by to deliver supplies."

Caro shrugged. "I didn't realize that Anders was with you. _He_ seems to understand that the people here need more than just the cure. They need food and medical care and help returning home."

Danny was out of patience. "Do you understand that we have the _cure_ for the Red Flu? Are you seriously suggesting that we should stay here when we have the ability to save millions of people?"

"Not at all." Caro wiped her face calmly. "I'm suggesting that _you_ should stay here to protect your brother. The one that even your precious Navy wants to use as a guinea pig."

Danny sighed, standing to pour himself another cup of coffee. "Nobody here wants to use Chris as a guinea pig, Caro. Doctor Scott just wants to take a few swabs, compare them to someone else we came across who was immune to the virus, see if that helps her improve the cure. And if Chris says no, nobody is going to force him."

"Hmpf. Let's see how far their hospitality goes if Chris refuses."

"Captain Chandler and Commander Slattery will help protect Chris – whether or not he agrees to Doctor Scott's request. That's why I told them about what happened." Okay, that was a bit of a stretch, but Danny would have told the XO about Chris's run-in with Hamada even if he hadn't accidentally spilled the beans to Rachel first. "I'm not running out on you Caro. I'm going to make sure that you are safe before I leave."

Caro stabbed at her eggs before setting down her fork, her eyes lifting to Danny. "But they aren't staying here either. How do we know that those people out there won't sell us out to the highest bidder the second you leave? Do you really trust them?"

Danny fought the urge to squirm, Caro's question too similar to the one Captain Chandler asked him upon their arrival in Norfolk, and Danny's answer – _"As much as I trust anyone these days"_ \- too revealing. Did he trust them enough to leave Kara here without him? Not at all. There was still too much risk that Ferguson was out there – with copies of all of Kara's medical information – trying to finish what Hamada began. Wasn't that why he had been so relieved last night – _was it really only last night?_ – when Kara told him that she planned to remain with the James? _How, then, could he look his father, his sister, his brother in the face and tell them that there was nothing to worry about?_

"I trust them enough," he said finally. "Besides, Hamada's dead and the cure is being distributed from Baltimore as we speak. There is no reason for anyone to be looking for Chris."

"If you really believe that, why do we need protection at all?" The question hung between them, both knowing the answer. Because even without the threat of Hamada (and, not that Danny planned to give Caro more ammunition but that threat wasn't entirely gone, not with Ferguson out there), how could Danny predict what new dangers existed in this unfamiliar world? "It's because of Kara, isn't it? That's why you can't leave the ship?"

Danny wavered before admitting. "I can't leave her, not now, not after…"

"Not after what?" When no answer was forthcoming, Caro actually stomped her foot. "How do you expect me to believe you when you won't trust me enough to tell me what is going on?"

Danny sighed, eyes shutting momentarily, the stress and exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours catching up with him. "It's not that easy."

"Nothing ever is," Kara said quietly. Danny's head snapped up, both he and Caro turning towards the door, too caught up in their argument to have noticed it opening, but before Danny could speak – to make sure that she knew that no matter how much Caro prodded, he wasn't leaving the ship – she continued. "Captain Chandler is asking for you to join him in the ready room. Both of you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As Captain Chandler filled his family in on the situation, with frequent interruptions from Rachel, Danny found his mind wandering to what Kara was thinking and doing. There was no time – or privacy – to discuss anything in the wardroom this morning and, to Danny's disappointed, she did not join them for this meeting, reminding him that she had promised to visit her mother this morning. Leaving him wondering where they stood, his family's unexpected arrival leaving no time to talk about any of the things he planned on.

"Danny told me about what _Doctor_ Hamada tried to do" – Rachel's face twisted at the name, her abhorrence for the man obvious – "and I want you to know that this is completely voluntary, Chris. I don't need an answer right away. Instead, I suggest giving you and your father a tour of my laboratory. I can walk you through the information that I need and the process, and you can ask as many questions as you would like. I want you to really understand what I will be doing, and how much your contribution will mean to my research."

The room fell quiet as all eyes turned to Chris. The teenager was scrunched down in his chair, arms folded across his chest, clearly uncomfortable at being the center of attention. But just as Danny was about to suggest that they give Chris and Mark time to talk without an audience, his brother straightened. "I'll do whatever I can to help."

"Are you sure, Chris?" Caro jumped in, her hand gripping Chris's arm tightly. "We haven't even heard what Doctor Scott needs. Do you want to think about it for a while?"

"No, I want to do this," Chris insisted, and Danny unexpectedly found himself seeing Chris not as the little boy who was constantly destroying his older brother's Lego models, but as a man not that much younger than Miller or Cossetti or Mason – one capable of making his own decisions. "That girl – Bertrise? The one who's immune like me. Will she be in the lab?"

"I'm certain that Bertrise would love to meet you," Rachel replied. She stood before remembering who was, at least technically, in charge of this meeting. "If you will excuse us, Captain?"

An amused smile, one that stood in stark contrast to Captain Chandler's solemn demeanor since Baltimore, crossed the CO's face. "Of course, Doctor Scott. I will be spending the day at home with my children, but I know you won't hesitate to call should something come up."

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Danny glanced at his watch – again – as he stood in the lab, flexing his arm until the sting from the blood draw subsided. To his surprise, Rachel had requested mouth swabs and blood samples not just from Chris, but from their entire family. Although Caro (predictably) declined, both Mark and Danny were more than happy to cooperate.

A lack of willingness to share her bodily fluids did not, however, stop Caro from peppering Rachel with questions. "How were you able to replicate the vaccination with so little equipment?"

Tuning them out, Danny focused on the opposite side of the helicopter bay, where Bertrise was talking to Chris with far more animation than Danny had ever seen from the traumatized orphan. Catching his father's eye, he nodded towards the pair. "Looks like they hit it off."

Mark's jaw tightened, then relaxed. "He thought he was a freak after the way those men treated him at George Washington. Knowing that he isn't the only one makes it easier."

"A friggin' lucky freak," Danny muttered.

Mark's lips twisted at Danny's language, but the anticipated lecture did not arrive. "You've forgotten what it is like to be a teenager, Danny. You just want to fit in. I remember you hiding your grades from your friends, as though being smart was a bad thing. That's how Chris feels about this. It makes him stick out, draws attention to him, and he hates that."

"It all seems so long ago." The thought of high school brought a smile to Danny's face, one that faded as soon as he realized that most of his friends were probably dead, brought down not by war or a natural disaster or any of the things they used to fear, but by a virus. "Do you know if Eddie and Amber got out?"

"They were smart. They took the baby and went to her parents' cabin early on," Mark answered.

Danny tried to imagine what that was like – Eddie, Amber, their eight month old son, her parents, most likely her brother – all sharing a cabin that was really more of a hunting shack buried deep in the Berkshires. No running water. No indoor facilities. Terrible insulation against the heat and cold and blood-sucking mosquitoes. _And probably the safest place for them to be_. What would he have done if he and Kara were in the States when the virus hit? Would he have packed up and left? Or would he have denied what was happening, waiting until it was too late like so many others?

Mark's voice jolted him back to reality. "Caro was out of line last night, Danny. You have your own life, your own responsibilities. You shouldn't feel guilty about putting those things first. It's like on an airplane. In an emergency you need to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others."

Danny felt some of his tension ebb at his father's words, grateful that his father, at least, understood. "Kara's pregnant."

The words spilled out without though, all plans to make the moment special dashed.

"Congratulations." When Danny turned to look at him, expecting more of a reaction, Mark shrugged. "It wasn't too hard to guess based on the way Doctor Scott and the Commander were acting. And there are only so many reasons that a healthy young woman is going to be throwing up."

"I don't know if congratulations are in order." Danny scuffed at the floor. "I've pretty much screwed everything up from beginning to end."

"So fix it." Mark shrugged.

Danny scuffed his foot across the bay floor. "It's not that easy."

"You aren't dead yet." Mark caught himself, apparently realizing that one of his favorite sayings was no longer all that appropriate. "What would you do, right now, if you could do anything that you wanted?"

"Finish the mission first then…"

"Let me ask another way," Mark interrupted. "When you picture yourself in five years, what do you see?"

Instantly Danny's mind was flooded with memories from that afternoon in Gitmo, Kara stretched out beneath him, images of the future so clear than he could have sworn that they were real flashing before him.

 _Her face as she said "I do."_

 _Her belly swollen with their child._

 _Her biting her lip to stop the tears when he left for a long deployment._

 _Her arms wrapping around him when he came home._

 _Her watching their children play through the window as she washed the dishes._

 _Her hair, more gray than brown, wiping in the wind as she walked along the shore._

The images were so strong that Danny barely managed to bite back the word that was on the tip of his tongue.

 _Kara._

As though he knew what Danny was thinking, a smile stretched across Mark's face. "The hard part is figuring out where you want to be. Once you know that, then all you need to do is figure out how to make it happen."

x

x

x

 _A/N - I struggled with the title for this chapter so I am asking you, dear readers, for your suggestions. A quote, a line from a song, a saying, any and all suggestions are welcome. :)_


	27. Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving

_Ch. 27 – Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving. – Erma Bombeck_

 _x_

Although Kara's plan was to locate O'Connor and hitch a ride back to the bowling alley to see Debbie, she found herself taking the long way towards the deck, which meant passing directly by Commander Garnett's quarters. There had been no opportunity to see Andrea the night before – the woman was cloistered by the time that Kara's team returned to the ship and rumor was that the Captain was the only person Andrea had admitted – and Kara felt a nagging need it to check on the other woman. Not to make sure that she was okay, because Kara couldn't imagine how Andrea would be okay less than twenty-four hours after learning that her husband and daughter were dead, but simply to let Andrea know that she was there, the same way that Andrea had done for Kara back in Baltimore.

As she knocked on the door, Kara realized that Andrea was probably already down in engineering. After all, Commander Garnett was a workaholic and it would be just like the commander to bury her grief in work. Which is why, when Andrea actually opened the door, the thick rings under her eyes suggesting that she hadn't gotten a single wink of sleep the night before, her wrinkled uniform a testament to her distracted state, Kara was caught off-guard. Behind the commander Kara could see piles of clothes, photo albums, and other memorabilia that Andrea must have retrieved from her house.

"I'm so sorry."

It was the only thing that Kara could think of to say – really the only thing that she _could_ say – even if it felt so inadequate in light of the magnitude of Andrea's loss. Andrea waved her into the cabin, shutting the door behind them.

"Sorry it's a mess. I haven't found places to put everything yet." Andrea's voice was dull, lifeless, no hint of the fiery engineer's usual energy. Ignoring the piles, Kara picked up the photo album sitting open on the unmade bed, opened to a picture of Lily wearing a pink and blue checkered smock dress. "That was taken on her birthday. She turned eleven just after we left. Bill must have updated the album. He used to do that for me. I would look through the album once I got back and he and Lily would tell me about each one, let me know everything that I missed."

"Lily was a beautiful girl," Kara murmured. She tried to imagine what it would be like, having to leave a child behind for months, contact limited to emails and prescheduled telephone calls if you were lucky, no contact at all if you weren't. For all of Debbie's faults, she had never disappeared for more than a week (turned out she was in the drunk tank), and although some of Kara's girlfriend had begun having families, the ones who did were either high school friends or Navy buddies who didn't re-up when their tours were done.

Gazing down at the picture of eleven-year-old Lily, Kara was struck by how much Andrea had sacrificed even before the virus hit. Would she be able to do what Andrea had done, leaving her child to make a better life for her? And what about Danny? Would they be able to keep a relationship going over multiple deployments, the way that Andrea and Bill had somehow done? Kara's attention shifted to the next picture, one of Lily in front of a birthday cake, a pleasant–looking man in his mid-forties sitting on her left, a broad smile on his face. "Is this Bill?"

"Yes." A smile lit Andrea's face as she glanced at the picture. "He hated having his photo taken but he did it anyway. He read somewhere that it was important for kids to have those pictures … later on."

Andrea's smile faltered, tripped over the last few words. _Later on_. Bill sat for that picture so that, someday far in the future, Lily would be able to pull it out and remember her father. But Lily would never get that future. Within days or maybe weeks of this celebration, the vibrant child in these pictures was dead, along with the father who obviously adored her. A tear rolled down Andrea's face, then another, as she slumped onto the narrow bed.

"When we got there his car was gone. I thought maybe he got out in time. And then I saw the records. They died in the first wave, back in July. _July_. I was planning a surprise for Lily once we got home and she was already dead. She had been for weeks."

Setting the album down carefully, Kara sat down as well, wrapping her arms around Andrea's shoulder. "You couldn't have known."

"Why did Bill stay in Norfolk? He used to go hunting out in the Poconos. Why didn't he get out like Darien did with the kids?" Andrea swatted away tears. "He's dead and I'm angry at him."

Kara reached out to grasp Andrea's hand, recalling the mandatory grief seminars that they were all subjected to during training. "I think it's normal to be angry."

Andrea actually laughed. "Well, at least something about this situation is."

Standing, Andrea moved to her small sink, splashing water onto her tear-soaked face. "I heard that you found your mother. I'm glad."

Kara dropped her eyes back to the picture of Lily and Bill, guilt swamping her. Guilt that she survived, guilt that she broke the rules and put her crewmates in danger, guilt about the pregnancy, guilt that her mother was alive when so many others were dead. She closed the photo album, returning it to the top of the stack on Andrea's small desk. "Thank you."

"Are you going to see her?" Andrea patted her face dry, moving on to fixing her hair.

"I planned to visit her today but I can go anytime. We could get breakfast together," Kara suggested as Andrea slid into a fresh jumpsuit, indicating her intention to leave the cabin.

"I need to get to work." A pause, then Andrea raised her head to look at Kara. "I need to remind myself I still have a reason to live."

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Kara leaned against the wall of the bowling alley, watching as Debbie handled another "urgent" request, this one relating to the appropriate distribution of the blankets and other winter gear being delivered by Ander's team. Seeing Debbie like this, in a position of authority, using her magnetic personality to help others (rather than find a new drinking buddy or boyfriend or both), filled Kara with pride. But even as she marveled over the change in Debbie, one thing about today felt far too familiar to Kara. In the in the more than two hours that she had been at the bowling alley, Debbie had barely spoken to her only child. And while Kara couldn't resent these people for looking to Debbie for support, a piece of her did resent her mother for once again relegating her daughter to second place.

 _Maybe the alcohol wasn't the problem. Maybe it never had been. Maybe the excuse that Kara had always used to excuse Debbie's neglect was just that – an excuse._

Kara summoned a smile as yet another of Debbie's young admirers approached, knowing that her resentment was both juvenile and totally indefensible.

"You must be so happy to have found your mom," the teenager gushed. "Debbie's wonderful. And she's so happy that you survived. It was all she could talk about all night."

"I am," Kara replied, knowing that it was the expected answer. And it was the truth. It just wasn't the _whole_ truth. How could she explain to people who knew only the good side of Debbie how complicated her relationship with her mother was? "Do you have any family here?"

A shadow passed over the woman's face. "We moved here six weeks before the virus hit. My husband was Navy. He had just finished basic and this was our first post. He went out on quarantine detail and never came home. Our families are both back in Arkansas. I guess they're probably dead. I'm an only child too. I tried to get my mom to move with us, but she said that Mason and I needed some time together first."

After her initial shock of realizing that this woman, who didn't look a day over eighteen, was married, Kara tried to recall what information she could about infection rates in the Deep South, but Arkansas wasn't one of the areas that they focused on and Kara could do nothing more than guess. "I hope that she made it."

"Ash?" Peter asked as he approached. "Debbie was wondering if you could come help some of the kids with a craft. You know how much they love you."

"Sure." With a bright smile, the peppy girl-child wandered off, leaving Kara feeling both a hundred years old, and guilty as hell. Why not Ashley? Why not Andrea? Why not Miller?

 _What made Kara so special that she was spared the fate of millions?_

 _And why couldn't she simply appreciate it?_

Peter leaned against the wall next to Kara, waiting until Ashley was out of hearing range before speaking. "I guess you've probably been getting that all morning."

"The people here obviously love Mom," Kara replied diplomatically. Despite Debbie's typical choice in men, which was abysmal, Peter seemed like a decent guy. "It's nice to see her like this."

"You mean not drunk?" Peter asked bluntly, surprising Kara until she remembered that Peter was around when Debbie detoxed, a process that must have exposed him to Debbie's less … pleasant … side. Kara glanced in his direction, considering how to respond without sounding like a three-year-old throwing a tantrum because the chocolate bar she was given was milk chocolate rather than dark chocolate. Her uncertainty wasn't lost on Peter, who gave her a slight smile before he explained, "I'm recovering myself. Fifteen years sober."

"Good for you." It made sense. Peter had too thorough an understanding of Debbie's situation not to have experienced it himself – either as the alcoholic, or as someone who loved one. "I really think she's going to make it to. I know that's hard for you to believe, I'm not asking you too, but I've seen a lot of people go through the program. Some made it and some didn't. I think Debbie's one of the ones who will."

"I hope you're right," Kara replied softly. And she meant it. She _did_ hope that this was a new page for Debbie. It wasn't that she didn't believe Peter, either, maybe the end of the world really was what Debbie needed to make her stop turning to alcohol to solve her problems. But even if there was an eighty percent chance that Debbie would stay sober (a statistic that Kara suspected was highly inflated), that still left a twenty percent chance of a relapse. And a twenty percent chance of exposing a baby to drunk Debbie was twenty percent too high.

"Debbie's lucky to have you."

The statement was starkly at odds with the comments Kara had been hearing all morning, most of which focused on how wonderful Debbie was, how lucky Kara was to be her daughter, how fortunate they both were to have beaten the odds and found each other. Peter gave Kara another one of those slight smiles. "I had a son. One day he sat me down and told me how the drinking impacted his life – and it wasn't in a good way. He didn't spare any detail. At the time, I was furious, convinced that he was blaming me for his own problems, but once I calmed down I realized everything he said was true. I hurt my son over and over again, every time I drank. It's the reason I got sober. A last ditch effort to make things right."

"The virus?" Kara asked hesitantly, noticing Peter's use of the past tense.

"I lost my son long before the Red Flu hit," Peter replied, his voice matter-of-fact. "I wouldn't even know how to reach him anymore. He cut me off the day he turned eighteen. Said he never wanted to hear from me again, and apparently he meant it. I reached out a few times in those first few years, but he made it clear that he wasn't interested in giving me another chance."

Kara paused, struck by how ordinary – and yet how tragic – Peter's story was. From most perspectives, Peter was a success story: fifteen years of sobriety, a successful business owner, well-liked by those around him. And yet his son probably died thinking that his father was a wastrel who chose booze over his own child. "I'm sorry."

"I accepted a long time ago that Ben didn't want me to be part of his life. But it means that I appreciate what you've done for Debbie more than anyone else. You allowed her to remain part of your life. And that's something special."

Kara fought the urge to fidget at the praise. How many times had she considered the option that Peter's son chose, stopped only by the fear of what Debbie might do if Kara cut her off?

"She's a good person," Kara said finally, her gaze followed Debbie's movement from one side of the bowling alley to the other as she assisted the new arrivals. Debbie paused for a moment, leaning down to pretend to steal the nose off a small child, her smile brilliant as the child ran off with a squeal. "Mom always means well. She has grand plans. She just has trouble with execution."

"Debbie's a dreamer," Peter replied.

Kara smiled wryly. That was Debbie in a nutshell. She never lacked in dreams, plans for her life or Kara's life. It was simply the execution where she failed time and time again, unable to withstand the challenges that life threw at her, never able – or at least never willing – to put in the time and effort needed to get where she ultimately wanted to be.

"I think one of the soldiers is trying to get your attention," Peter commented, pointing towards the entrance to the building. Glancing over, Kara was startled, and a little concerned, to see Danny hovering in the doorway. With an apologetic smile towards Peter, Kara nodded towards the door. "I better go find out what's going on. But thank you. Not just for the talk, but for everything you've done for Mom. It makes it easier to leave, knowing that you are here for her."

She held out her hand and Peter shook it firmly, a silent understanding passing between the two. "My pleasure."

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"Lieutenant?" Kara asked formally as she approached Danny, her heartrate increasing as she took in the strained look on his face. That look never bowed well – professionally or personally.

"Could I talk to you?" He nodded his head toward the door, the move so reminiscent of the way he would gesture her into the alcove on the Nathan James that Kara found herself smiling despite her growing uneasiness.

Kara glanced towards her mother, confirming that Debbie was still busy on the other side of the bowling alley. "Sure."

Kara followed Danny out the door and around the corner into a small alley that appeared to be empty. Not that the street itself was busy, but then Danny presumably didn't want anyone from the bowling alley to peek out and see them together, Kara thought sourly.

Danny shoved his hands into his pockets. "How are you feeling? Rachel said that the ultrasound went well."

It wasn't the question that Kara was expecting. Of course, besides the two minutes in the wardroom this morning, they had barely spoken since the night before.

 _Last night. When she admitted that she loved him. When she told him that she wanted to make this – to make them – work. When she handed him her heart and soul, just like she had at Gitmo, taking a leap of faith that this time he wouldn't toss it back this time._

Kara reached up to brush a lock of hair, rather longer and shaggier than regulations permitted, away from Danny's forehead. "Everything looked great. The baby was doing flips the whole time. Rachel said I'll be able to feel movement soon."

"You didn't wake me up," Danny remarked, his voice curiously neutral. "Are you upset about my family showing up last night?"

Kara nibbled on her lip. "No, of course not. Your family is alive, Danny. I'm thrilled. I didn't wake you up because Rachel said that you were up most of the night and you needed the sleep. I didn't expect the Captain to call you in for an early meeting."

The line between Danny's eyes eased, his hands moving to encircle her waist. "Next time wake me up."

"Okay." Kara's eyes fluttered shut as he shifted closer, leaning down to brush his lips across hers. Maybe moving to the alley _was_ a good idea.

Danny pulled back a centimeter, his voice wry. "I had different plans for this morning."

Instantly, Kara's mind was filled with images of things that she shouldn't be considering given that, one, they were outside, two, they were in uniform, and three, her _mother_ might walk around the corner at any minute. She rose on her toes just enough to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, enjoying the play of his stubble against her lips.

Trying to ignore the rather delicious images floating around in her head, Kara tried to focus on the more important issue of Danny's family. "I'd understand if you wanted to stay."

Danny pulled away, the furrow between his brows returning. "What?"

"They're your family, Danny. Your brother and sister and father. Yates, Heller, and Moralez are all leaving the James to stay with their families. If that's what you want to do, I'll understand." They weren't the words she wanted to say, it wasn't the choice she wanted him to make, but if they were going to make this work – _really work_ – they needed to make this decision together, to do what they both wanted to do.

If anything, Danny looked more confused. "I know that I fucked things up before, Kara, but I meant what I said in Baltimore. I want to make us work. You and the baby, you're the most important things right now. I talked to my dad this morning. He gets it. Actually, he got it before I told him anything. He would probably kick my ass if I tried to stay."

Kara slid her arm around Danny's waist, resting her head on his right shoulder despite the discomfort of his gear biting into her chest and shoulders. She gave a sharp laugh at the idea of Mark, who Kara knew was a high school principal, attempting to kick his taller, heavier, younger, and far-better trained son's ass was both amusing and touching. "I love you."

His chin settled on her hair. "I love you too. You, me, and the baby. That's our family now."

A minute passed, then two, as they stood there silently, Kara drinking in his presence, in the fact that he was _there_ , that he wasn't going anywhere without her.

A snort was their only warning before Cruz spoke. "You owe me twenty."

She was mildly surprised when, rather than pull away, Danny merely raised his head. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Teylor shrugged, not remotely abashed. "After the shit you put me through last night? Not a chance."

"Mrs. Foster was looking for you, Kara," O'Connor replied, not bothering to stand on ceremony as he slapped the green paper into Teylor's hand.

But before any of them could respond, Debbie herself rounded the corner, Peter hot on her heels. "And it appears that I found her."


	28. I'm Your Mother

_I'm Your Mother – Debbie Foster, Episode 2.3 of The Last Ship_

 _x_

"So tell me about _Danny_ ," Debbie drew out the word, practically bouncing with excitement. "How did you meet? What does he do? I want to know everything!"

Kara didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed that – after a seven month absence during which the world went to hell – the first thing that Debbie asked her about once they finally had some alone-time was a man. Of course, it wasn't as though Kara wanted to talk about the Russians or the vaccine trials or what happened at Baltimore. Danny was, at least, a pleasant topic.

"Do you remember how I told you that the Nathan James went to the Arctic to find the primordial strain of the Red Flu?" Kara asked, biting into one of Bacon's roast beef sandwiches. The sandwiches were supposed to be for the engineering team that was working to hook a generator up to the bowling alley to provide the people here with heat and power, but Debbie had somehow convinced O'Connor to part with two sandwiches and three cookies. At Debbie's nod, Kara continued. "Danny was in charge of the team put on the Nathan James to protect Doctor Scott, the scientist in charge of the search."

"And how did he ask you out?" Debbie inquired, sitting cross-legged on the floor with an ease that Kara envied. It wasn't that she had a baby bump yet, not much of one anyway, but everything around her middle felt off – stiff was the only way Kara could describe it – and finding a comfortable position on the floor was proving challenging. Kara adjusted her belt buckle so it didn't press down quite so firmly on her bladder. Being off the Nathan James made her far more appreciative of indoor plumping, as her constant need to pee was even more maddening when it meant squatting in an alley.

"He couldn't ask me out, Mom, we were both assigned to the same ship. It's against the rules." Even as she said the words, Kara realized how ridiculous they were. She was pregnant with his child, they were clearly a couple, Danny had even proposed – yet they had never gone on an actual date.

Her statement drew a raised eyebrow from Debbie. "You two certainly seemed cozy. And O'Connor told me it's not the first time he's seen some PDA…"

Debbie trailed off before revealing whatever salacious details she had charmed from O'Connor, leaving Kara to wonder, not without some embarrassment, both what Paul might have seen, and what he might have told her mother. Kara knew without having to ask that none of the guys would say anything about the pregnancy – Baltimore had put that topic in the "top-secret, need to know" basket – but Debbie was a master at getting people to spill their guts without realizing what they were doing. It was probably what had made her so invaluable here at the bowling alley, her charm and ability to put people at ease. It was certainly what made her a likeable drunk, at least until she got mean.

"We spent a lot of time together in the Arctic," Kara replied carefully. "Mostly with Alisha and Danny's best friend Frankie, who was also a member of his team. That's how we got to know each other."

"Who is Alisha?"

The question, casually dropped as Debbie took a bite of her sandwich, caught Kara off guard. While, intellectually, Kara knew that she and Alisha had met once they become bunkmates on the Nathan James, those days felt like a lifetime ago now. To realize that Debbie and Alisha – probably the two most important women in her life – had never met reminded Kara of how much had changed since the Nathan James left Norfolk. Seven months ago Kara hadn't known the woman who was her best friend, she hadn't known the father of her child, she hadn't heard of the Red Flu. In fact, seven months ago she and Carlton were sitting in her apartment complaining about another rush deployment, not realizing that they were two-hundred of the luckiest people in the world.

 _If Kara's life could change that much, maybe Debbie's could too._

"Kara?"

Debbie was looking at her strangely, and Kara wondered how long she had been lost in thought. "Alisha's my bunkmate. I would introduce you but she was injured in Baltimore and can't leave the ship."

"So were Alisha and this Frankie dating too?" Debbie inquired, drawing a muffled snort from Kara as she swallowed her mouthful of food.

"No, Alisha has a long-term girlfriend in Wisconsin."

"Poor girl. It's already winter there. Hope she has power."

Debbie shuddered, glancing towards the small, dirty windows set high on the walls in the bowels of the bowling alley as though to confirm that the Virginia sunshine hadn't suddenly transformed to a blizzard, and Kara knew without asking that they were both recalling the winter that Kara was six. It was October when Darren (or was it Daryl?) disappeared, ditching them only three months in to a twelve-month lease on a drafty, poorly insulated cabin deep in the countryside that was far too expensive for Debbie to afford on a waitress's salary alone. Over the next few months Kara often woke up shivering in the bitter cold, as Debbie kept the heat on just enough to keep the pipes from freezing. The thought that there were people – families, children – heading into the worst of winter with no power, leaving many of them without any way to heat their homes, was another stark reminder of how lucky Kara was.

"That's why this mission is so important," Kara said softly. "We need to spread the cure for people like Sarah. So that people aren't stuck in safe zones without heat or supplies, risking their lives every time they leave the building."

There was a moment of silence before Debbie, in her usual way of dealing (or not dealing) with issues she found depressing, changed the topic. "Okay, back to hottie. And don't think you can lie to me. O'Connor told me that boy asked you to marry you."

Kara groaned. _Of course he did._

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Pulling the jeep up to the dock, Danny radioed Anders to let the man know that he was back from restocking the safe zones with doses of the cure (the official reason for his absence, although Danny doubted it fooled anyone on the James), and would meet the team tasked to locate the missing laboratory equipment once he collected Halsey. Stepping back on deck five minutes later, Danny was somewhat disconcerted to see Captain Chandler standing by the rail, talking to Doctor Scott. The Chandler children took their belongings with them when they left yesterday and, given the CO's comments at their meeting this morning, Danny fully expected the Captain to spend what little time they had in Norfolk with his family. His presence back on the James – and in the company of Doctor Scott, no less – was not reassuring.

Captain Chandler turned. "Green, please join us."

Signaling to Nat and Lou that he would be back in a minute, Danny jogged across deck with Halsey. Rachel wasted no time enlightening Danny about the reason for his summons. "I need more blood."

"Okay..." That wasn't what he was expecting, but Rachel was nothing if not blunt. Danny began rolling up his sleeve.

"Not right now," Rachel clarified, sounding slightly exasperated. "The way you and Chris's blood reacts to the virus is completely different from Bertrise. It is fascinating to think about how two completely independent methods of fighting off the virus developed but, more importantly, Doctor Hunter believes that finding some commonality may be the key to creating a power form of the vaccine."

Still confused by why he had been summoned, Danny focused on fixing his shirt. "Um, okay?"

Catching his confusion, Rachel attempted to explain. "Consider the benefits of a powder. Instead of having to deliver vials of the vaccine, we could send air drops full. No needles needed. A quick sniff up the nose, and the person's immune."

Rachel waved her hands in the air as she spoke, drawing an amused smile from the Captain before he added, "It will also cut down the necessary infrastructure to make the vaccine. Decreasing production time."

Both of them looked at Danny, so in tune that it was almost as though they were one person. Danny was starting to feel like an idiot but he still didn't understand what they needed from him. "Okay..."

"Doctor Hunter wants to take more samples, run more experiments. I want you to talk to your brother about staying on board, at least until Florida," Rachel finally explained. "Your father is welcome to stay as well, of course, given that Chris is a minor."

That would certainly solve Danny's concerns about leaving Chris here in Norfolk, but…

"Why do you need Chris? Aren't we both immune?"

Rachel opened her mouth, but Chandler beat her to the punch. "We're already short on people, Danny. Depending on how things go in Florida, Doctor Scott and Bertrise might remain there with Doctor Hunter. I don't want to leave you there if we have another option."

"What sort of experiments?" It wasn't that Danny thought Rachel would hurt Chris intentionally, but he couldn't forget what happened to Bertrise during the vaccination trial, risking her life to try to help the volunteers.

"Nothing harmful." This time it was Rachel who answered. "I promise you that, Danny. Just some blood draws and lab work. This opportunity is simply too valuable to pass up."

"Dad and Chris will probably agree," Danny said after a moment's reflection. "What about Caroline?"

Again the two exchanged looks, a silent conversation happening in front of Danny. Captain Chandler crossed his arms, appearing less than thrilled about what he was about to say. "Doctor Scott has indicated that your sister has some medical training and allowing her to remain on board would be beneficial, despite her refusal to allow Doctor Scott to test her blood."

Rachel smiled at Danny brightly as she delivered the assignment from hell. "All you have to do is convince her."

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After forty-five minutes of Caro hammering him about every detail of the Nathan James' mission to Florida, most of which Danny didn't know or couldn't tell her, and after she reminded him no less than twenty times that he had assured her _only that morning_ that Chris would be safe in Norfolk, Caro finally agreed that a short hop to Florida would not be a terrible idea. It had taken less than a minute to convince Mark and Chris that joining the Nathan James was their best option, providing them with three square meals and a roof over their heads in exchange for the relatively minor inconvenience of allowing Rachel to stab Chris every so often. Danny suspected that Bertrise's presence might have something to do with Chris's enthusiasm over the idea. Whether it was a teenage crush or simply the relief of finding someone who understood what it was like to remain alive while everyone around you died, Chris seemed to have latched on to the young Jamaican woman.

"Green!"

They were almost to the jeep, planning to gather what the three needed from Danny's apartment, when Danny was stopped for the second time. Looking over, Danny saw the XO talking with two people, one a man roughly his own height and build with thick dark hair, the other a petite woman, her curly hair pulled up in a messy bun. Both wore rather filthy uniforms that Danny could tell at a glance were not American. When he drew close, all three turned to greet him.

Slattery grinned, toothpick wedged between his teeth as though he was holding a cigar. "Meet your reinforcements. Taylor here's Australian Royal Navy. Has some nice demolition experience. Wants to hitch a ride with us as far west as we'll go."

The man stuck out his hand. "Senior Chief Wolf Taylor. Happy to be joining the team."

Taylor's gaze was steady and his handshake firm, predisposing Danny to like him. "Lieutenant Danny Green."

"Green's the head of the TAC team. You'll report to him," Slattery explained. All eyes turned to the final member of the group. "And this here is Lieutenant Ravit Bivas. Israeli intelligence."

Danny fought to keep his face neutral. Israeli intelligence? Was Bivas part of Mossad? If half of what Danny had heard about the agency was true, Bivas would be able to kick his ass and wrap him around her neck without breaking a sweat. He offered his hand this time, one which she took without hesitation. "Bivas."

Catching Slattery's eye, Danny nodded towards his waiting family. "If you'll excuse me, sir, I need to take care of a small matter and then I will show our new team members around."

"Ah, yes, Doctor Scott mentioned her conversation with Doctor Hunter." That was expected, Rachel would have had to go through the XO to get to Captain Chandler. "I assume they agreed? Your sister tear you a new one?"

"She did her best, sir," Danny replied wryly.

"Go on, then. No time like the present."

As he drew closer to the jeep, Danny could see Caro watching the XO, Taylor and Bivas as they moved onto the ship. "Who are they?"

"New personnel. Reinforcements for the combat teams," Danny explained shortly, hoping she would get the point. _Replacements for Frankie and Steve and Jason._

But instead of dropping the topic, as Danny expected, Caro blinked. "Even the woman?"

"Yes, why?"

"Oh nothing," Caro said airily, but the smirk that was creeping across her face clearly suggested otherwise.

As they pulled away from the base, Danny finally gave in to the urge. "Okay, what is so amusing?"

"Just imagining what Kara is going to say when she meets your new teammates."

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"You're sure you have to go?" Debbie asked again as she and Kara moved towards the front of the bowling alley where O'Connor, Cruz, Chung, and Danny were waiting.

"Yes, Mom. There are a lot of sick and scare people out there," Kara reminded her.

A glitter tears appeared in Debbie's eyes. "You be careful, okay?" Her hands rose to cup Kara's cheeks. "I am so proud of you."

"You too, Mom. You too." The words bubbled up, and Kara realized that she really meant them. Despite all of her fears, all of her worries that Debbie would revert to old habits, she was incredibly proud of her mother and everything that she had achieved. Even if today was Debbie's last day of sobriety, nobody would be able to take that away what she did here, how she kept these people together and alive.

 _How she did something good._

"Mrs. Foster, it was very nice to meet you," Danny held out his hand, his expression solemn, as though he was waiting for a dressing-down and Kara wondered if Paul had filled him in on his conversation with her mother. But instead of answering, Debbie chose to express herself non-verbally, catching Danny's face between her hands and giving him a solid kiss on the lips.

Kara gaped at her mother, noticing Peter doing the same, before they both burst into laughter at the look on Danny's face, a combination of shock, terror, and hopefulness, not unlike the face he wore the day Kara confirmed she was pregnant. After a moment, Danny managed to sputter, "I hope that means I have your blessing."

So apparently he _did_ know.

" _Mom_. What are you doing?" Kara hissed, but Debbie was paying absolutely no attention.

"You take care of my girl," Debbie said seriously, before adding. "And the baby."

Kara froze, her eyes darting between Danny and her mother before throwing an accusatory glance in O'Connor's direction, but he looked as shocked as the rest of them.

"You think I don't see? I'm your mother, Kara." Debbie looked almost sad as she reached over to take Kara's hand. "I see more than you think."

"Mom…"

But Debbie didn't wait for Kara to finish. Instead she turned back to Danny. "You bring my girl home in one piece, and then you can have my blessing."


	29. Do away with your old habits and start f

_Ch. 29 –_ " _Do away with your old habits and start fresh. Wash away your old opinions, and new ideas come in." Xue Xuan_

 _x_

"Find anything else on the hard drives from the White House?" Kara asked Carl Nishioka as they headed to the wardroom for the debriefing. With everything that happened in Norfolk, Kara had given virtually no attention to the hard drives that Cobra Team retrieved from the White House on their way from Maryland to Virginia once they retrieved the information regarding the secure network of laboratories, which is how Rachel managed to reach Doctor Hunter in Florida, their next planned stop.

Carl paused, allowing Kara to precede him through a tight passageway, the old-fashioned gesture bringing a smile to her lips. Carl might be long-winded, but his manners were impeccable, instilled by his grandmother during his formative years. "Nothing worth reporting. Most of the information was months out of date. Lieutenant Granderson is using the data we received from the operating labs to create updated estimates on the spread of the virus."

"Were you able to get through to any additional facilities?" Kara inquired. Out of the thirty-five laboratories identified by the Secretary of the Navy on the recording they uncovered, twenty-six failed to respond to the Nathan James' efforts to hail them, a sobering reminder about the state of the world around them.

"One. In Antarctica."

If anyone other than Nishioka was speaking, Kara would have laughing, but Carl was completely serious. "Not a bad place to be right now."

"No way of getting them doses of the cure," Carl replied, stating the obvious. While an isolated research lab was the perfect place to _study_ a deadly virus, it was almost useless when it came to mass-producing and distributing a cure.

"Or getting it out," Kara added. "Anything else happen that I should know about?"

The debriefing would obviously fill in the gaps, but Kara never liked walking into meetings blind.

"Morales left the ship. We'll need a new SCAC," Carl said.

Kara sighed, feeling a headache build as she mentally considering how she could reshuffle personnel. Although she had trained several of the junior engineering officer's on the stations in CIC, engineering was already short-staffed and Kara couldn't put more pressure on Andrea. Not right now. But, unfortunately, the same problem applied to anyone else Kara might want to poach. The Nathan James' losses in Baltimore had cut deep, with most people already working long hours or pulling double-duty.

Not that Kara begrudged Morales her decision to remain in Norfolk. The woman was the single mother of two young children, with only an elderly grandmother still alive to assist with their care. Leaving them alone in Norfolk was simply not practical. "Liz will be a huge asset to the ground team."

And while it was the _right_ thing to say – making it clear she supported Captain Chandler's decision to release Yates, Morales, and Heller from the ship – it was also true. Liz's positive attitude, attention to detail, and willingness to listen to constructive criticism made her the perfect second-in-command to Lieutenant Yates who, while an excellent engineer, tended to fixate on the details and miss the bigger picture. Worse, Kara saw the looks exchanged among Anders' men upon learning that Yates would be taking over the base in Norfolk. While Yates outranked Anders, the insertion of someone new in the position Anders had occupied by default for the past two months had not been well received by his team. Hopefully Liz would find a way to smooth over any tension between the two groups, as well as the inevitable conflict that arose by having military leadership over civilians.

It struck Kara that smoothing over tensions between the military and civilian survivors was exactly the type of job that Debbie would exceed at. She had certainly managed to charm O'Connor and Cruz. Kara made a note to mention the idea of a civilian liaison to Yates the next time they spoke.

Carl hesitated before speaking, "I was happy to hear about your mother."

Ignoring the intense awkwardness, Kara forced herself to smile. "Thank you. Hopefully when we get to Florida we'll find out good news about your family as well."

Carl glanced away, visibly swallowing. "The graphs weren't reassuring."

"Maybe Doctor Hunter will have more updated information once we get there," Kara offered, knowing how hollow the words were even as she said them. Of the one-hundred-fourteen sailors on the Nathan James with family in Norfolk, four of them found their families. Statistically, Nishioka had less than a 5% chance of finding his family, and that was assuming that Miami wasn't as hard hit as other metropolitan areas like New York City and Washington, D.C.

Through a doorway Kara spied Danny descending a ladder, two unfamiliar faces behind him, all three turning too quickly for Kara to get a good look.

"I did manage to get a little more information from the Avocet database," Carl offered, his desire to move on from the topic of his family obvious.

Kara frowned, forcing herself to refocus. "What Avocet database?"

A flash of something, unease perhaps, crossed Carl's face. "Commander Slattery had us copy the hard drives from the Avocet facility while you were … indisposed. Most of the information was out of date and specific to Baltimore and the surrounding location, so not useful. While I had some downtime I decided to take a second look, and I located a file on Lieutenant Green's brother."

Kara rolled that information over in her mind. It wasn't a surprise to find out that Granderson and Hamada had compiled a file of information about Chris. After all, Hamada had shown a personal interest in the teenager and none of them would forget the lengths they went through to save Bertrise, knowing how critical her immunity was to discovering a vaccine. "What type of information are we talking about?"

"Medical information. I gave it to Doctor Scott once I realized what I was looking at," Carl explained. Again he hesitated. "Is it true?"

"What?"

"That he's immune?" Carl clarified, before rushing on. "People were wondering if that's why the Captain let them onboard."

Kara was caught off guard. Normally she would never have discussed someone's medical information but, under the circumstances, this was not the type of thing that could be kept secret. "Yes, it's true."

Carl's eyes widened. "What about…"

But Kara cut him off, unwilling to discuss the matter further. Not without speaking with Danny, anyway. "Anything else on the database?"

"Nothing useable. Ferguson screwed up the hard drive when he copied the information over," Carl explained.

"Copied?"

Carl gave her the same odd look as before, his reluctance to answer her question obvious. "Ferguson copied all of the medical records that Hamada gathered before he disappeared. Lieutenant Green didn't tell you?"

Kara wasn't able to hide her sharp intake of breath. "No, he didn't."

 _And, somehow, she doubted that it was an oversight._

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"Have you met the new recruits yet?" Alisha asked, swirling a french fry in a bowl of gravy, a sight that Kara found nauseating. Given that this was only the third time Alisha voluntarily went anywhere other than the bridge or their cabin, however, Kara planned to keep her mouth firmly shut.

"The accent is hot," Nina commented.

Kara was only half listening to the electronics warfare officer, her mind still occupied by the bombshell that Carl dropped, and which the XO later confirmed. All of the medical information that Hamada had collected – about the experiments at Olympia, about Christopher Green's immunity, about the vaccine trial, about Kara and the baby – it was all compromised, likely in the hands of a man who might even now be continuing Hamada's deranged work.

But worse than learning that her fears were no longer suspicions, was realizing that Danny _knew_ about Ferguson and didn't tell her. Was it an innocent omission, a risk he dismissed as too remote to raise concerns? Was it something that he planned to discuss but never found the chance?

In Norfolk everything seemed so simple. She and Danny were a team, they would make it work, figure it out together. But the moment they set foot on the Nathan James, it was as though a chasm appeared between them, those moments in Norfolk feeling like years rather than days ago as their relationship once again faded into the background.

"Accent?" Alisha demanded.

"Mmmm, yeah, the guy is Australian. I overheard him talking to Commander Slattery earlier. That voice alone is enough to make me want to jump him," Nina replied without a lick of shame. It was something that Kara admired about the woman, how forthright she was about her sexuality. "Not that I will, of course, given the frat rules. I don't want to get stuck on overnights."

Kara stole one of Alisha's fries, one that wasn't smothered with gravy, shooting a puzzled glance at her best friend. Wasn't Nina sleeping with Rios? Alisha shrugged, mouthing _later_ before turning back to Nina. "I'm sure that you aren't the only one thinking about it."

Nina laughed. "You can't complain this time, Granderson. You got some eye candy yourself."

Kara wondered how long Alisha would wince every time someone used her surname. "One of the recruits is a woman?"

"Yup. And she's a looker too," Nina responded, giving Kara a sly smile. "You may want to make sure she knows that Green is claimed merchandise."

Alisha was the first to respond. "Even I don't think Green is that stupid."

"You once accused the man of being dumber than a box of cereal," Carlton commented from the doorway to the wardroom.

"Even a box of cereal knows better than to flirt with the new girl when his pregnant girlfriend has the codes to the armory," Alisha shot back.

Carlton paused in the middle of piling Bacon's macaroni and triple cheese and Swedish meatballs onto his plate. "You talking about Bivas then?"

"Nina mentioned that we have two new recruits," Kara said neutrally. "Apparently one has a nice accent."

"Actually they both do," Nina corrected cheerfully. "She's Israeli, right?"

Kara was familiar with the enthralled look on Carlton's face, one that confirmed Nina's earlier assessment regarding Bivas's attractiveness without Carlton having to say a word. For all Carlton's intelligence, his taste in women was simply. "Ravit Bivas. Israeli intelligence. She's badass. Took Miller down in hand-to-hand without breaking a sweat."

"Anyone can take Miller down. He leaves his right side open every time," Kara replied sarcastically, remembering the last time that she joined the guys for training. It was in the Arctic, back before they knew anything about the Red Flu, when the most challenging part of the day was finding a way to relieve the boredom.

"He's gotten better since the last time you sparred with us," Carlton protested. "You should come by for a few matches. You and Bivas could go head to head."

Carlton stopped, fork halfway to his mouth, when all three women burst out laughing, appearing mystified. "What?"

"How do you think Green is going to react to someone punching his pregnant girlfriend?" Alisha queried, her voice sickeningly sweet.

A flush spread across Carlton's face and he quickly turned his attention back to his mountain of food. "Oh, yeah. Stay away, Foster. Green is in a foul enough mood already."

"Foul mood?" Kara questioned. When she saw Danny at breakfast he seemed distracted, but not upset. "About what?"

"He didn't say. Just muttered something about his sister." Carlton inhaled two forkfuls of macaroni before suddenly looking at Kara, a glint in his eye. "Caroline Green is bunking with Bivas, actually. In case you wanted to check her out, Foster."

"If you want information on Bivas you can ask her yourself, Carlton. I'm not your wingman." Rising, Kara grabbed her plate. "And next time swallow before you speak. Unless you want _my_ partially digested food to be making an appearance next."

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Forty-five minutes later Kara found herself heading down the pathway towards the cabin assigned to Caroline Green and Ravit Bivas. _Not_ , she reassured herself, to check out Bivas but because it was the polite thing to do. Danny's family was onboard and if she and Danny were going to make a go at this relationship thing, she should make an effort to get to know them. If she _happened_ to see his new team member in the process, that was simply a coincidence.

 _If only that didn't sound so pathetic, even in her head._

Upon reaching the correct door, Kara squared her shoulders and knocked, half hoping that nobody would answer.

"Just a minute!"

The voice was pure American and, sure enough, instead of the apparently-hotter-than-hell-Israeli, Caroline Green opened the door, her face damp, as though she had splashed it with water in an effort to disguise her puffy eyes and drawn face. "Yes?"

"Sorry to bother you. I, um, I wanted to check to see if you needed anything," Kara stumbled over the words. Teary women were not her specialty. Two sailors walked by, not bothering to disguise their interest, and Kara stepped closer to the door. "May I come in?"

"Actually I'm dying to get out of here," Caroline responded. "Could we go up to the deck?"

Kara mentally considered her plans for the evening – all of which revolved around sliding into comfortable clothes, gossiping with Alisha, and catching up on sleep – and decided that twenty-two hundred was a little too early to go to bed even for a pregnant woman. "Sure."

Caroline closed the door behind her, turning as though to lock it, a habit so ingrained that it was only when she looked down that Caroline realized what she was doing, and that there was no key for the door. "How do you stand these tiny cabins? There's no room for anything. And I heard that some rooms have four bunks."

Caroline shuddered, and Kara wondered whether the woman was claustrophobic. Not that anyone found the cabins spacious, but Caroline's reaction was more extreme than usual.

"You get used to it," Kara replied. "And most people go to the gym or lounge when they aren't sleeping. That helps with the cabin fever."

Caroline stiffened, her face hardening. "I'm not allowed to go anywhere except my cabin, the mess hall, or Doctor Scott's lab without an escort. Captain's orders."

Well, that explained Danny's bad mood. Kara could not imagine Caroline Green took that news well. "What about your brother and father?"

"Same rules. And Bertrise too," Caroline explained shortly. "Rachel told us about how the Baltimore troopers tried to take over the ship in Baltimore. So now there are new rules for civilians on board. Rules nobody bothered to tell us until it was too late to get off the ship, of course."

 _Oh, yes, Caroline had definitely given Danny hell._

Kara thought back to her earlier conversations with Nishioka and Slattery. While Rachel's role on the ship was unique, even Kelly and Ava Tophet hadn't been restricted to their cabins. Was this new rule really because of what happened in Baltimore or was it a cover for the threat posed to Chris and Bertrise by Ferguson?

"I'm sure Captain Chandler is concerned about you getting lost or hurt," Kara replied mildly. Attempting to smile, she ushered Caroline to the ladder. "This time of night the deck is usually pretty crowded. Let me introduce you to a few people."

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Scanning the compartment, Kara got her first view of the woman who no less than six members of the crew saw fit to warn her about. Passing Ravit on her way to Danny, Kara conceded that the woman was, indeed, gorgeous, even if that was the least of Kara's concerns at the moment. "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." Danny followed her towards the side of the room, where there was less chance of them being overheard.

"CIWS is down, but we'll have SCAT teams ready for you if you need support," Kara remarked, wishing that their every move wasn't being watched.

"All right, well, we'll be ready." Danny replied absently, surveying the team, his mind plainly not on the conversation. Kara bit her lip, fighting the urge to smooth down his lapels, to wrap her arms around his waist and press her face into his chest, to ask him tell her again.

 _That he meant what he said in Norfolk._

 _That he wanted to make this, to make them, work._

 _That she and the baby were the most important things._

Apparently realizing that Kara had more on her mind than CIWS, Danny's eyes finally focused on face, his head dipped towards her. "Everything okay?"

For a brief moment, she almost told him. Told him how much she loved him. Told how much she hated this. Told him how much it tore out her heart knowing he was walking into danger. But she couldn't. Because this was who he was, this was what he did, and she couldn't ask him to give that up.

So she dodged the question. "I saw your new team members."

The concern on Danny's face disappeared, chased away by a smug smile. "Jealousy is a useless emotion."

Eyes flashing, Kara's chin jutted out. "I agree. I'm just saying. All the girls are talking about the man from down under."

Danny's mouth snapped open and then shut before he bit his lip to muffle his laughter. Kara raised her hand to his shoulder, playing off the brief caress off as a playful punch. "Be safe out there, okay?"

And when their eyes met, Kara realized that she didn't need to tell him a single thing. Because everything she felt was reflected in his eyes.

"Always, sweetheart, always."


	30. The mediocre teacher tells The good tea

_Ch. 30 – "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." William Arthur Ward_

 _x_

 _It was just a routine mission._

That's what Kara kept reminding herself. There were a number of reasons why Solace might not be responding to the Nathan James' efforts to contact them. Although, as the Nathan James drew within range of bridge-to-bridge and then close enough for the even more primitive system of lights and Morse Code, those reasons dwindled until only one remained. Everyone was dead, the virus having managed to sneak on-board despite the crew's best efforts.

From the records that the crew recovered in Norfolk - turns out there _was_ a good reason to keep things on paper as well as computers - they had learned that, once the quarantines began to fail, the government started using boats as safe harbors. It was an option of last resort, but the logic was sound. Load the uninfected onto ships, send them offshore to isolate them, and wait until the virus burned itself out.

Unfortunately, it was a system that worked better in theory than in practice. The recently infected boarded the ships undetected. Food and fuel ran out, requiring the ships to return to port and risk exposure. Those left behind commandeered small crafts and snuck aboard. All leading to the same outcome. The one they had seen first-hand on the Italian cruise ship.

 _Death._

Thoughts of the cruise ship made Kara's stomach churn. After all, that was also a routine mission – one that turned fatal over something as simple as tripping on a stair.

"Starboard RHIB is away."

Deliberately pushing thoughts of the cruise ship and how much could go wrong on a _"_ simple mission _"_ aside, Kara forced herself to focus on the task at hand. A glance around CIC confirmed that everyone was at their stations. Although they had trained for situations like these, standard for any Navy vessel that might be assigned to the Gulf of Aden to deal with Somali pirates, this would be Kara's first engagement as TAO. Previously, even when she was the acting TAO, there had been comfort in knowing that Commander Barker was, at most, a telephone call away. Knowing that there was someone to step in if she completely flubbed it. Knowing that there was someone she could turn to in a pinch. But Barker was gone. And if she screwed things up, the fallout wouldn't just be professional.

The radio crackled. "Tiger Team. Tex, Ravit, Burk. Start aft and starboard, clear your way to the lab. The rest of you on me. We go port and forward."

Captain Chandler's voice was calm, assured, reflecting no apparent worries about the situation. And even though Kara knew that it was a facade – the Captain had used that same tone at Avocet, back when everything was going to hell – she still found it reassuring.

"Expect radio drop-off once we get in the skin of the ship. Next check in five mics."

Kara turned to Ensign Luddow. "Set timer. Five minutes."

While Luddow set the clock, the one that they would all be watching compulsively for the next five minutes, Kara pulled up the schematics for Solace. Right now Danny would be moving into the bowels of the ship, a place with hundreds of cabins and turns and twists, hundreds of hiding places – and possibly no radio. Time seem to have slowed, each second taking eons as they sat, silent and anxious, waiting for the clock to hit zero.

Slattery must have felt the same, the next check coming with two seconds remaining. "Vulture Team, this is the Bridge, radio check. Radio check."

"Reset timer," Kara indicated to Luddow while they waited for the response from Solace.

"Bridge, vul... team."

"Vulture Team, say again. Your last was garbled."

"Bridge, Vulture Team, I say again, no sign of li..."

Although the message cut off, Kara was familiar enough with Burk's speech patterns to know that they had found nothing. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, her anxiety continuing to grow as the timer continued its countdown.

And then, with 1:33 left on the clock, came the words that Kara had been dreading.

"Host…on boar…." Danny's voice might be broken, but his urgency was unmistakable. Before he finished his sentence the siren was wailing, Master Chief making the announcement.

"General quarters. General quarters. All hands, man your battlestations. General quarters is up and forward to the starboard side."

In CIC, training took over, gear donned in seconds before attention was refocused on stations, everyone looking for something out of the ordinary. Kara's hand was on phone before the first ring finished. "CIC, Bridge, hostiles aboard Solace. I need a 360 surface search. They didn't come from nowhere. Find me a ship!"

"Roger that." Kara turned towards her team. "Anything on surface search?"

Every second that passed felt like a lifetime, possibly the difference between bringing their teams home safe, or in body bags.

"No, ma'am. Nothing." Nishioka was good at his job. If he hadn't found it there was nothing to find. But those pirates didn't just appear, and there were only so many ways to hide in the middle of the ocean. It was a split second decision, the kind that relied on instinct – instinct that Kara hoped was born of training rather than panic.

"Let's check underwater. Mason." She turned, pinning him with her eyes. Mason, above anyone else in that room, had the ear. It was something that couldn't be taught, and it was the reason that she needed Mason – not Kirkland or Nishioka or god-forbid Wright – handling sonar.

The kid looked terrified, even though he must have known what she wanted him to do. "Ma'am?"

"I need you to run a 360 degree sonar search." Mason hesitated, and Kara fought the urge to snap at him to move, to get it together, to stop wasting precious time. But she couldn't do any of that. She might know that Mason was the best person for this job, but Mason needed to know that too. Kara met his eyes, channeling Captain Chandler's tone, firm but reassuring, when she spoke. "You passed the murder board. You can do this."

And it worked. Maybe. Mason at least moved towards sonar. "Aye, ma'am."

It was the annoyed frown on Nishioka's face, the one he used to make when Barker was pacing around CIC staring over their shoulders, that caused Kara to take a step back – and then make her second spur-of-the-moment decision. "I'm going to man the starboard Mark 38. Kirkland? You're in charge."

Kirkland's head snapped around, a flicker of panic in his eyes, and, for the briefest of seconds, Kara thought he might object. But he didn't, merely relinquishing his station to Luddow. "Yes, ma'am."

It took Kara thirty seconds to make the trip from CIC to the Bridge, all the while second-guessing herself, wondering whether her need to know what was happening on Solace was overriding her objectivity. Slattery nodded to her as Kara seated herself, quickly checking the computer. "Foster?"

"No target."

"Sir, if we get any closer, we could collide." Alisha's concern was understandable. In CIC, with the detachment of watching the two ships on a computer screen, they hadn't seemed quite so close. But from the Bridge Kara could plainly see how a wrong turn, a second of delay, would result in disaster.

But Slattery wasn't deterred. "It's a chance we have to take. Bring us in closer. Find me something to shoot!"

Long moments passed as the Nathan James swung around, searching the deck of Solace for any movement, either friendly or hostile. Then the radio crackled, Captain Chandler speaking. "Nathan James, what's your whiskey?"

"Coming up your starboard side, looking for a target." Slattery growled.

"Well, I'll give you one. Flight deck. We'll flush three hostiles topside, you light them up."

"Roger that," the XO turned to Kara. "Batteries released."

"Aye, sir." Kara flipped the switch, her hands tightening on the controls. "Starboard Mark 38 hot."

Everyone was silent as they waited, listening to the firing from Solace, all attention on the starboard door of the flight deck. Then the signal came. "Three. Two. _One_."

She got off one shot before smoke flooded the deck, obscuring her vision. Kara released again, knowing even as the shot was fired that she would miss. "Lost them in smoke."

"You got one." The Captain and Danny appeared for a moment before they too disappeared in the smoke. Kara avoided the XO's eyes, keeping her attention on the Mark 38, continuing to comb the deck for a target. What was it that she told Captain Chandler all of those months ago? _I can knock the nipples off a chicken from a thousand yards._ Today she couldn't hit the side of a barn. "These guys are good. Look for a military ship, a helo. There could be more where they came from."

Slattery picked up the phone. "Sonar, Bridge, anything on that subsurface search?"

It ate at her. Her team was down there, operating without her so that she could be here – _and she missed_. But there was no time to think before the radio was crackling again.

"Vulture Team, hostiles have rigged the ship to blow up. I say again, hostiles have explosives." There was no mistaken the panic in Burk's voice, or the responding alarm in Captain Chandler's as he ordered everyone off Solace.

"Nathan James, we got two dozen doctors and crew, some of them hurt. We're about to load them into the tenders. We're going to need cover, though, starboard amidships." Kara felt her shoulders relax slightly, only to immediate tense as his words sunk in. Two dozen civilians to evacuate, and Danny would be at the end of that line.

This time, she couldn't miss. _They_ couldn't miss. Kara turned to Slattery. "Sir, suggest we add snipers topside."

Slattery didn't pause. "Get it done, Master Chief."

As Vulture Team made straight for the tenderboats, now burdened by civilians and wounded, Kara forced her eyes to roam the deck, not settling in any spot for more than a few seconds. But when the shots came, they came out of nowhere.

"What the hell!" Slattery's exclamation reflected the frustration of everyone on the James. Kara clenched her teeth. How could she have missed them _again?_

Then Danny's voice came through loud and clear. "I'll lower the boat!"

Kara's blood ran cold, knowing what Danny was about to do before he moved an inch, watching helplessly as he dashed from the tender back to the hydraulics. The risky move paid off though, forcing the hostiles to change positions, allowing Kara to catch one as he moved. But before she could locate another target, a sudden flash blinded her, the explosion so close, so loud that the James shook, throwing Alisha into the Captain's chair.

 _And the teams were still onboard._

"Bridge to all teams! Report!" Slattery yelled, attempting to be heard over the screaming.

Finally the glare cleared and they were treated to the sight of Solace right where she should be, appearing unscathed, and then Tex's voice came through. "Damn that was close!"

"I take it you handled the explosives?" Slattery asked ruefully.

"Tiger to Bridge. Explosives have been neutralized."

Kara suppressed a giggle. Trust Burk to be so _textbook_ after almost getting blown up. Relaxing slightly, she refocused on the men diving from Solace. It wasn't over, but for the first time all day, she saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

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"Captain's in combat."

Kara stood stiffly as her team gave their report, wondering whether she should expect a dressing-down for leaving CIC in the middle of a crisis, a decision she had been second-guessing from the moment she made it.

"Mason, are you sure you saw a sub out there?" Chandler questioned.

Kara watched the young ensign, fearing that he would crumble under the pressure, but Mason surprised her. Although he hesitated, ducking his head, he didn't back down. "Sir, I'm sure of it. Hidden out there in the seabed... It was a sub."

Kara felt a burst of pride. Mason was no longer the green ensign who came aboard the Nathan James seven months before. Somehow, in the midst of the challenges they faced since leaving the Arctic, the young man had found his self-confidence.

"Then let's find it." Captain Chandler turned. "Lieutenant Foster, a word?"

Swallowing, Kara followed Captain Chandler to the side of CIC, bracing herself for a lecture. About leaving her post. About appropriate delegation. About allowing her emotions to dictate her actions.

"Good shooting today."

That was not what she was expecting. "Thank you, sir. Next time my aim will be better."

Chandler regarded her carefully. "With all that smoke I'm surprised you hit anything. And that was good thinking adding the snipers."

"Thank you, sir." Kara stumbled through the words.

Captain Chandler opened the door before pausing. "Barker left big shoes, but I made the right choice in decided who to fill them."

Kara stood staring as the door swung shut, before collecting herself. Everyone might be off Solace, but that didn't mean that their work was done. She turned back to her team.

"Good work everyone, especially you Mason. Now let's find that sub."

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"Lieutenant Foster?"

Kara would have known that voice anywhere, even if she hadn't spent the last few hours listening to it over the radio. "Lieutenant Bivas. How can I help you?"

"I thought I should introduce myself," the woman explained, thrusting out her hand.

Accepting the handshake, Kara searched for something to say. "You did good work out there. A lot more people would be dead right now if you hadn't managed to disconnect that bomb."

Ravit cocked her head, shaking it slightly. "Thank Tex. He was the one who pried the explosive off the tank. I told him it wouldn't work."

Kara laughed. "We have our moments. Especially Tex."

"I've been told that you and Lieutenant Green are together."

Ravit's straight-forward statement caught Kara off-guard. "Well, yes. Did Caroline mention it?"

This time it was Ravit who laughed. "Caroline. And Burk. And Tex. Oh, and Miller told Wolf to tell me."

Kara wondered if it was possible to die of mortification. "They mean well."

Ravit laughed again. "You guys are a little crazy. But I like it."

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Kara swallowed, painfully aware that they were not alone in the passageway. "Lieutenant."

"Lieutenant."

They both stood, staring at each other.

"That was a good shot you made, through the smoke," Danny offered finally.

Kara swallowed again. "When you got off that tender..."

"That's my job, Kara."

The words were harsh, but Kara ignored the sting. Danny was always like this after a mission, his temper simmering until he was able to break away and exhaust himself at the gym. He had probably spent the last two hours with his team going over what went right and what went wrong, just as Kara had done in CIC. The immediate debrief was critical to peak performance, but it was also mentally exhausting. The strain of listening as each person spoke, of finding the words to criticize without tearing anyone down, of remembering to hand out praise where deserved.

 _It was the loneliness of leadership._

"I know. But that doesn't make it easier." Giving into the urge to touch him, Kara laid a hand on Danny's arm. "I planned to hit the gym. Want to join me?"

"Can't. Debrief with the Captain and XO." Danny sounded frustrated. "Rain check?"

"Sure. Next time." Kara smiled, hoping her disappointment didn't show. She was three steps down the corridor when he spoke again.

"Or we could meet up later. Maybe at that other place..."

Kara turned. Was Danny suggesting what she thought? The intensity in his eyes gave her the answer. "Twenty-two hundred?"

The grin her gave her sent the most pleasant of shivers up Kara's spine. "I'll see you then."


	31. To handle yourself, use your head to h

_Ch. 31 – "To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." Eleanor Roosevelt_

 _x_

The murmur of voice died the instant that Danny walked into the wardroom, a clear sign that he or Kara - or more likely both - were the topic of discussion. Selecting a roast beef grinder and potato salad, Danny settled into a chair between Carlton and Tex, waiting for Wright and Elliot to leave before speaking.

"You going to fill me in?"

Nishioka shifted awkwardly, exchanging glances with Kirkland, as Carlton enlightened Danny on the most recent round of gossip. "They're wondering how pissed Foster is at you."

Danny stopped with his fork half-way to his mouth. Kara wasn't pissed at him at all, as far as he knew. Danny thought back to the last time he saw her – she definitely hadn't seemed angry when they met up last night – but all that did was lead to a train of thought completely inappropriate for the wardroom. "Why would Kara be pissed at me?"

Carlton lifted an eyebrow. "Bivas."

He rolled his eyes. "God, Wright's an idiot. Does he just pull this stuff out of his ass?"

"Lieutenant Foster was upset about something this morning." Nishioka's quiet comment caught Danny by surprise. "Ensign Wright's suggestion that the two of you had a fight is a natural one."

Raising his sandwich, Danny took a bite but the roast beef suddenly tasted like sawdust. Leaving Norfolk, everything seemed to be falling into place. They had the cure and a way to distribute it. His father and siblings were alive, as was Kara's mother. And things were finally back on track with Kara.

 _Damn the universe liked to fuck with him._

Danny knew that his team would be more amused than concerned about Wright's suggestion. Even setting aside Carlton's well-known and much-mocked insta-crush on Ravit Bivas, the team's bond had been forged in fire. If his guys could still follow him after what happened at Gitmo, there was nothing that Wright or anyone else could say to shake them. But that wasn't necessarily the case for Kara.

As the newly appointed TAO, stepping into Commander Barker's more-than-capable shoes, Kara was in the tenuous position of having to prove herself to both her team and the Captain under the most difficult of circumstances. And while Danny knew that Kara considered Kirkland and Nishioka friends, he had only interacted with them casually in the Arctic, generally spending his free time with his own team, and avoiding CIC (and its staff) altogether after Gitmo. Which meant that the men in front of him might very well believe Danny capable of starting something with Bivas. After all, he'd done the same things with Kara, hadn't he?

 _Fuck_.

This was the last thing that Kara needed right now. Making a mental note to get to know Kara's team better - after all, these were the guys who covered his ass out in the field - Danny gave both men an even look. "Well I don't know why Kara's upset, but I am positive that it has nothing to do with Bivas."

"Exactly what I told the kid," Tex interjected. "Hell, Kara and Ravit ate breakfast together this morning. Seems to me that they're fast friends."

Danny glanced over, trying to gauge how much truth there was in Tex's statement, but the guy was impossible to read. "If Kara's upset it probably has something to do with my sister. Caroline has a knack for causing trouble. Actually got in a fight with Bacon this morning. Who picks a fight with the guy who cooks your food?"

Whatever Danny was expecting, it wasn't Nishioka shoving his chair back from the table, departing the cabin with a slam of the door. Kirkland quickly followed, giving the three men an almost apologetic look as he hurried after his friend.

Danny glanced between Carlton and Tex. "Either of you going to enlighten me?"

"Nishioka's from Miami," Carlton offered, eyes on his plate. "CIC's been working on decoding the rest of the information from the White House. Turns out that Miami was a hot spot. Over a ninety percent infection rate six weeks ago, with many of the larger safe zones already compromised."

"The guy took it hard," Tex elaborated unnecessarily.

The divide between those who found their families in Norfolk and those who did not was one that had shaken relationships across the ship. But even within the small group of those who found their families, Danny held a unique position. "Are people pissed that my family is onboard?"

"Have to admit that you live a bit of a charmed life, Green." Tex took another bite from his sandwich.

A bitter taste formed in Danny's mouth, images forcing their way into his mind uninvited. _Frankie racing down the stairs. Steve and Jason joking about Berchem's ex-wife. Cossetti giving him a thumb's up as the left the Vyerni._ Nobody on the Nathan James had escaped unscathed, something that Lieutenant Carl Nishioka seemed to have forgotten. But Danny wasn't interested in Nishioka right now. He waited for Carlton to look up. "Burk?"

Carlton met Danny's gaze. "It did seem a little unfair that you managed to strike the genetic lottery _and_ get the girl. Then I met your sister, and I realized that karma owned you big time. That woman is a shrew."

The tension broken, Danny laughed, returning to his roast beef.

"Do you know that she cornered Mason to give him a lecture on the evils of sonar?" Tex asked.

Danny groaned. "Please tell me you're kidding."

"Nope. Captain barred her from CIC or she'd still be talking about what it does to whales." Carlton rolled his eyes. "Who cares about the millions of people we are helping when there is a whale being harmed."

 _Fuck_. No wonder Nishioka and Kirkland were pissed about Caro being on the ship. Danny stood up, dishes in hand.

"Where are you off to?" Carlton asked.

"Have to find Doctor Scott. She needs more blood," Danny explained, dumping his remaining food and stacking his dishes.

"She vants to drink your blood." Tex broke into hysterics. "I think I'll start calling her Count Scott."

Carlton and Danny exchanged glances before Carlton turned back to Tex. "Let us know how it works out for you."

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Stepping through the doorway to former helicopter bay 2, Danny saw Doctor Scott and Caroline talking to Doctor Milowsky, while Chris and Bertrise sat on the opposite side of the lab cleaning out petri dishes. That caught his attention. The last time Danny that saw Chris voluntarily wash a dish was at least thirteen years ago, back when the kid thought the sink was a mini-pool. Still, he wasn't here to watch his brother fall all over himself to impress a girl.

"You asked me to swing by, Doctor Scott?"

The woman looked up, her forehead wrinkling. "Rachel, remember?"

Rather than remind Rachel about military protocol, which required him to address her formally in front of others, Danny simply amended his greeting. "You wanted to see me, Rachel?"

"Yes, yes." Rachel set down the stack of materials she was holding, reaching for a pair of gloves. "I was just bringing Dennis up to speed on our progress."

Danny made the assumption that Dennis was Doctor Milowsky, although the name didn't really fit. The man looked more like a Bruce. Or a Lloyd. Or the guy who played Ferris's dad. He caught Caro's eye. "Bueller?"

A smirk crossed Caro's face before she turned away.

Oblivious to the byplay, Rachel was still talking. "Dennis is going to be taking charge of vaccine production, allowing me to focus on other methods of vaccination dispersal. To that end, I have a few more questions and will need hair and blood samples, as well as a mouth swab."

"I have an orange juice for you right here." Caro smiled sweetly, pulling the cartoon out of her lab coat pocket.

"In the future I would prefer if you, rather than your sister, mentioned pertinent medical information such as your tendency to faint after giving blood," Rachel added, her voice cooling considerably.

Danny scowled at his sister. "At least I agreed to donate blood."

"Caroline has already given her samples." Rachel waved Danny towards a chair, wrapping the tourniquet around his bicep.

Danny's eyes flew to his sister. "You changed your mind?"

Caro shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "It's not like it was a big deal. We don't even know if I'm immune."

With anyone except his sister, Danny might have accepted that answer. But Caroline had been dead set against participating in any experiments relating to the virus. He narrowed his eyes. Before he could speak, though, a machine on the other side of the room began beeping.

"Caroline, could you please help Dennis with the autoclave?"

"Of course."

Danny watched Caro until she disappeared around the hazmat tent, running the events of the last few days through his mind trying to find an explanation for her abrupt change of heart, but coming up empty.

"They've been inseparable all afternoon," Rachel commented.

Fixated on Caro, it took Danny a few seconds to realize that Rachel was talking about his brother, who was in the process of telling Bertrise a rather animated story, drawing soft giggles from the girl.

"I think it makes him feel more normal, knowing that he's not the only one who's immune. Less like a freak to be studied." Danny spoke without thinking, regretting the words immediately when Rachel's eyes flashed. "No you, Rachel. Obviously."

"What those people did. It's incomprehensible. To experiment on people. _Children_." Her jaw tight, she reached for another vial.

"It's good for Chris to be around someone his own age," Danny offered, before remembering the question that he had been meaning to ask her. "How much information does Ferguson have on him?"

Rachel sighed, straightening. "Bertrise?"

Bertrise responded immediately. "Yes, Doctor Scott?"

"Perhaps you and Christopher could go to the mess and get me a sandwich? Oh, and the two of you should get eat something while you're there."

"We need an escort," Chris commented, looking uncertainly between Rachel and Bertrise.

"Lieutenant Mason can take us," Bertrise replied, a blush spreading over her face. "Let me call him."

The downcast look on Chris's face at the mention of Will Mason told Danny everything he needed to know about how his little brother felt about Bertrise - and about how she felt about Mason.

Rachel waited until the teenagers were gone to speak. "The files from Avocet were thorough. Chris's medical history, the results of his blood tests, the situation at the university were all detailed at length. But if Ferguson was hoping to recreate the cure, he would be better off obtaining a dose of the cure. I understand why you are worried, Danny. Chris is, after all, your brother. But from a medical standpoint, there are easier ways to obtain the cure."

Danny nodded, unable to argue with the facts. Everything that Rachel said was true. Ferguson _shouldn't_ be looking for Chris or Kara or Bertrise. He shouldn't need the information he stole from Avocet. As Hamada's second-in-command, Ferguson was one of the first to get the cure when the Nathan James reached Baltimore, and the vaccine was even now being produced and distributed for free. Ferguson could easily get his hands on more doses, maybe even backwards engineer it to figure out the recipe.

And yet, even with all evidence pointing to Ferguson's theft of information from Avocet as being nothing more than an impulsive act by a man on the run, Danny couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something. Something important.

 _If only he could figure out what that was._

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Turning the corner, Danny could see Carl Nishioka at the end of the pathway, a dejected slump to his shoulders. Deciding that now was as good a chance as any to get to know Kara's team a little better - and maybe convince them that he wasn't the kind of guy to knock up one woman and then pant after another - Danny jogged after the man. "Lieutenant Niskioka! Hold on."

Although the man looked exhausted, he turned, a polite expression on his face. "Lieutenant Green. What can I help you with?"

"I heard that your family is in Miami."

Nishioka froze. "Yes."

The answer was short, unwelcoming of further discussion, but Danny pressed on. "Once we find and deal with that submarine, we're going to need to resupply. Miami's the most likely stop. I can make sure the XO puts you on one of the advanced teams if you want."

A flicker of surprise crossed Nishioka's face. "I'd appreciate that."

"I'll keep you posted."

Danny smiled as Carl continued towards CIC. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

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"One more set and then time for showers," Danny announced, switching spots with Carlton at the bag. He flickered his eyes towards the pair on the opposite side of the small gym. "Wolf seems to have taken Rick under his wing."

"Apparently Taylor was an instructor back in Australia. That's why he was chosen for the training exercise at Little Creek," Carlton replied.

"You find that out from him or Bivas?"

Carlton ignored Danny's smirk. "Poker last night. Noticed that you didn't show up and Tex said you weren't in your rack."

 _Nope, he had been doing something much more fun._

"Family stuff." Not a lie, exactly. Danny hit the bag a few times before he spoke again. "XO wanted me to remind you that you are not a trained explosives expert."

"It needed to be done." There was no rancor in Carlton's voice. They both knew the score. Slattery gave them a lot of latitude on how to run missions, but there were a few conditions. Primarily, don't get killed and don't get anyone on your team killed. Burk cut it pretty close to the wire this time. Literally and figuratively.

"Next time, tell Tex to keep his mic off."

The two men's eyes met, before they both smiled, no need for further words. They had just fallen into a regular routine when Master Chief Jeter's voice sounded over the intercom. "Now hear this. As of this moment, we're going to quiet two, all personnel, quiet two. You all know your jobs. We've drilled this drill a hundred times. But a footstep could give away our position. This one's for real. Lock it down."

The response was immediate. The team scrambled to their feet, securing the gym equipment and removing shoes. Danny turned to the two newest members of his team, the only ones who hadn't been through this before. "Taylor and Bivas, you're with Burk in the mess. Everyone else, you know your assignments. Let's move people!"

And with that, there was an exodus from the gym.

 _Looks like the sub had found them._


	32. Separating the Wheat from the Chaff

_Ch. 32 – Separating the Wheat from the Chaff_

 _x_

Kara stared into the unending darkness, not a single star visible, listening to the rhythmic sound of the waves slapping against the hull. A layer of cloud cover had rolled in late that afternoon, just after the helicopter returned from Doctor Hunter's lab leaving the team – and Danny – behind, putting a definite chill in the air. Next to her Halsey whined, pushing his head against her hand, unhappy with her decision to leave the warmth and safety of her cabin for the exposure of the deck. But then, much like Kara, nothing had made the dog happy since Danny left.

Exhausted, Kara felt herself swaying with the ship, longing to crawl into her bunk. But every time her eyes closed, she was back in CIC.

 _36 Hours Earlier_

" _TAO, ballistic missile fire detected!" CIC was filled with a cacophony of voices as everyone scrambled to calculate trajectories and prepare countermeasures._

 _Captain Chandler leaned over Kara's shoulder. "Inbound?"_

" _No, sir." Kara stared at the computer, perplexed by what she was seeing. Nothing on the screen made sense. "They're diverging. Already pretty spread out."_

Relief, she had felt relief in those moments. Relief that the missiles were not headed towards the James. Relief that going to Quiet 2 worked and they were able to evade the sub. Relief that, for the moment, they were safe. It had taken long seconds - too long, too many seconds - before Kara understood that what was happening was so much worse.

 _Then Alisha's voice, quietly horrified. "They're bombing the labs!"_

 _A simultaneous gasp of horror. The labs were unarmed, unprotected, with no ability to stop an incoming missile. Captain Chandler appeared at her back._ " _TAO, calculate a target to intercept!"_

 _Kara's fingers danced over the pad. "Calculating, sir."_

" _Batteries release on every target you got now!" Panic. She had never heard such panic in the Captain's voice before._

" _Batteries release on all tracks. Birds away." She watched the screen, knowing even as the Nathan James shuddered under the impact of the release of missile after missile that they were going to miss._

" _How many we get?" Captain Chandler demanded._

" _I have confirmation on…" Her heart sank, her throat closing. "Two were in range, sir. We got them both."_

" _Out of how many?"_

 _She forced out the words. "We logged twenty-six. Virtually all of them were out of range before we fired."_

If only she had been faster. If only she had been at her station when the alarm came. If only they had managed to locate the submarine. Maybe then she would have caught more, managed to save some of the labs. Or at least given the people inside time to escape.

 _Slattery grabbed a headset. "We need to get a message to the labs. We've got to get those people out of there."_

 _There was no order, no plan of attack, no direction, as they scrambled to reach the labs._

" _Get out, get out now!"_

" _I want everyone two miles away from the facility!"_

" _If you are listening to the sound of my voice you are under attack!"_

Kara's stomach churned, her nails cutting into her skin as she balled her hands into fists. Those people never had a chance. Five, maybe ten minutes if they were lucky, to get out of the blast zone. An impossibility. And even if the scientists managed to evacuate in time, even if they were able to grab a sample of the vaccine on their way out the door, the laboratories were gone and with them the equipment, the base supplies, all of the pieces needed to manufacture the cure. Leaving the virus to kill millions.

 _34 Hours Earlier_

 _Alisha continued the roll call, her voice growing softer and softer as one lab after another failed to respond._

" _I've got something here," Kirkland spoke abruptly. "It's from Florida. A video file."_

 _"On screen," Captain Chandler ordered._

" _Rachel, oh God, I pray this gets to you. Listen, we're under attack, Rachel, but it's important, it's important that you learn this. I've been working with the data you sent me and I think I found a way to do it. To turn the injectible cure into a powder…."_

 _The video stopped. Captain Chandler leaned over Alisha's station. "Get it back."_

" _I can't, sir. That was all that the satellite received before it went down," Alisha explained._

 _But unlike the other labs, this time there was something that they could do. Captain Chandler turned. "XO, prep the ground team. We're going to help."_

The whole time that they raced towards Florida, moving as quickly as they dared given the continued threat of the submarine locating them, Kara had prayed that they would get there in time. Without the labs and the infrastructure, Doctor Hunter's powdered version of the cure was the only way to continue with large-scale distribution of the cure. He was their last chance.

 _15 Hours Earlier_

 _As the helicopter circled, revealing that the facility remained intact, Kara held her breath. Maybe the lab somehow escaped detection. Maybe Doctor Hunter's staff was able to fight their attackers off. Maybe there was still a chance to save the scientists and the research. But when the team entered, stumbled over bodies and smashed equipment, the last flicker of hope was extinguished._

Doctor Hunter's last act had been an attempt to send Rachel the formula to powderize the vaccine, an attempt that failed, leaving them with half of a formula. But, unknown to either Doctor Hunter or his executioners, the video revealed something else, something important, a clue that only Rachel caught. One that caused her to test the mercenary they captured on Solace's blood. And suddenly everything made sense.

The mercenaries were immune.

Immunity – the elusive quality that had the Nathan James risking everything to rescue Bertrise, almost losing Captain Chandler and Tex in the process, the unique feature that drove Hamada to try to abort Kara's baby for stem cells, the rare trait that forced Christopher Green into hiding - apparently far less rare and unusual than Rachel originally believed. Kara didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Rather than use their unique genetic makeup to help others, like Bertrise or Chris, these men were doing the opposite. Their goal was not to control the cure, not to monetize it like the Russians or to save those deemed worthy like Amy Granderson, but rather to wipe it off the face of the earth.

That was who Danny, along with Carlton and Ravit and Tex and Captain Chandler, were chasing. People who wanted to kill them all, destroying the Nathan James and stopping them from spreading the cure.

 _10 Hours Earlier_

 _Slattery was bent over a map with Gator, checking for safe locations along the coast where they could hide from the sub. "Foster, I need you to talk to Doctor Scott. See if she found anything on Doctor Hunter's computer that might be helpful. Tell us where groups of people could be congregating. Where these people are based."_

" _Yes, sir."_

 _Kara knocked before she swung open the door, but it was immediately obvious that Rachel hadn't heard her. Rachel stood staring down at a photograph, one she brought back from the Florida lab. The picture was from a graduation ceremony, Doctor Hunter and Rachel both in gowns, the older man's arm around Rachel's shoulders. But it was the look on Doctor Hunter's face that struck Kara. Pride. The man looked more like a proud papa than a professor. And the anguish on Rachel's face now, the tears that dotted her cheeks, demonstrated that Rachel felt the same. Doctor Hunter was not merely her mentor. He was her family._

" _Did you need something, Kara?"_

 _Kara wondered how long she had been standing there staring. "I'm sorry for your loss, Rachel."_

" _He was a good man. He didn't deserve…he didn't deserve what happened. None of them did." Rachel's eyes flickered to the picture and then back. Kara waited while Rachel set the photograph down next to her laptop, taking a moment to compose herself. "What can I help you with?"_

" _The XO asked if you had any more information on the disbursal graphs that might help the team figure out where the mercenaries went."_

 _Rachel nodded. "Of course, let me gather my things."_

But hours spent looking at maps and sending out the UAV yielded nothing useful and, when the sun set and the team's check-ins extended to every two hours to allow them to get some rest, Slattery ordered Kara out of CIC. Which is why she was here, standing on the deck with Halsey, exhausted yet unable to stop her thoughts from wondering to Danny, and what he was doing right now.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Andrea asked, her voice causing Kara to jump.

She turned, squinting into the dark. "I could say the same to you."

"Insomnia." There was a tint of dark humor to Andrea's voice. "Danny or baby?"

"Danny," Kara admitted, exhaustion winning out over stoicism.

Andrea finally appeared from the shadows, handing a steaming cup to Kara. "Hot chocolate. Courtesy of Bacon."

Kara took the cup, feeling the warmth seep into her hands. "How did you know that I was here?"

"Lucky guess." Andrea turned her head. "So what's on your mind."

"It's, well, everything. What happened to the labs and worrying about Danny and then worrying that the stress is bad for the baby and my pants are so tight that it hurts when I sit and…" Kara stopped, horrified by her words. "I'm sorry. You don't want to listen to this."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to answer." Andrea took a sip of her own drink and Kara caught a waft of coffee. Apparently the hot chocolate was for the baby's benefit.

"But it must be hard for you to talk about the baby," Kara tried to explain. "Because of Lily."

"Lily has nothing to do with your baby." Andrea shifted so she was looking directly at Kara. "I lost my daughter. And that haunts me every moment of every day. But it doesn't mean that I don't understand how hard it is to be pregnant or the pressure of keeping a department running or what it's like to watch the man you love leave and wonder if you will ever see him again."

Kara took a sharp breath, Andrea's words bringing tears to her eyes. "I just. You've lost so much. I feel petty complaining. And not just you. Everyone here has lost so much. And I haven't. I feel…."

"Guilty?"

"Yes," Kara sighed, the weight of her admission lifting from her shoulders.

"Well, that's horseshit."

That was not the reaction Kara was expected. "What?"

"I said that's horseshit." Andrea paused to let her words sink in. "You feel guilty talking to me because I lost my daughter? Well, what about the Master Chief? Should I feel guilty talking to him because he lost two daughters rather than one? Or what about Commander Slattery? His wife and girls are still missing. Is that better or worse? Captain Chandler lost his wife but saved his children. Where does he fall on the scale? You can go round and round, Kara, playing the who-has-it-worse game, but the truth is that nobody gets through life unscathed. Pain is pain, no matter what causes it."

Kara squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to believe Andrea. But then she remembered the way Carl looked when the UAV did its sweep, not picking up a single heat signature, each pass another reminder that his family was probably dead. Each updated projection that Rachel provided to Slattery - now suggesting that Florida's infection rate exceeded ninety-five percent - another nail in their coffin. "That's different. You've all lost someone. I haven't."

"You lost your father, Kara."

"That was a long time ago," Kara replied weakly.

"Some losses never go away. Stop comparing yourself to others, Kara. No good ever comes of it." Andrea paused, letting her words sink in, before adding briskly. "Now, you better head to bed before that dog loses his mind. I could hear his whining all the way across deck."

Kara was three feet away before she stopped, turning back, even though all she could see was Andrea's shadow. "Thank you for listening, Andrea."

"Anytime."

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Kara was almost back to her cabin when Nina found her, letting her know that the XO had requested her presence in the operations room. Upon entering the cabin Kara was surprised to see not just the XO, but also Alisha and Carl, along with Caroline Green, all of whom looked grim. For a moment Kara's heart stopped, her terror apparently etched across her face because Commander Slattery rushed to reassure her. "It's not Danny."

Easing into her chair, Kara looked at the man expectantly but he waved a hand towards Alisha. "Lieutenant Granderson informed me that they have discovered something of significance on a database we recovered at Avocet. Thought you would want to be in the loop."

Kara's eyes flew to Alisha before flickering to Caroline. _Did everybody except her know about the database?_

"Captain Chandler asked me to take a look before he left the James. He thought that a fresh set of eyes might help. I looped in Ms. Green after I realized that she might be able to translate some of the medical information." Alisha's expression was guilty but whether that was because the Captain basically asked her to double-check Nishioka's work or because she never mentioned the database to Kara was anyone's guess. Either way, the shadows in Alisha's eyes suggested that whatever she found was bad. Very, very bad. Amy Granderson continuing to tormenting her daughter from the grave.

"And you found something?" Slattery asked, his tone markedly impatient.

"The corruption of the database was deliberate. The information dump was just a way to disguise it," Alisha explained.

"But why?" Kara asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"We think Ferguson was more than Hamada's second-in-command." Alisha handed both Slattery and Kara files. Inside was a jumble of medical information about a woman named Doris Merriweather. Eighty-two years old. Arrived at Olympia sometime in September with her grandson and three great-grandchildren. She 'volunteered' for some test that Hamada was conducting, although the specifics could not be recovered. She died thirty-four hours later along with two of her great-grandchildren. But that was where the file got weird. Next to her grandson and one great-grandson were notes stating 'transferred to beta facility.' "We found that notation on the files of roughly seven hundred people. We think all of those people were immune."

"What about Christopher Green's file?" Slattery asked.

"It doesn't have it," Alisha admitted. "But Christopher was never at Olympia so that could be the reason."

Slattery scowled. "Or beta facility could be a secondary area of Olympia and this notation has nothing to do with immunity."

Carl glanced at Alisha before he continued. "When we began talking about it, sir, we realized that the setup at Olympia didn't make much sense. There were hundreds, possibly thousands, of people arriving in Olympia every day. Why would Hamada need that many people? Why would Amy Granderson want people exposed to the virus traveling to Baltimore, potentially exposing those coming to Avocet?"

"To keep the lights on," Slattery growled.

Caroline narrowed her eyes at the Commander, her words blunt. "There were easier ways to do that. They could have collected bodies from nearby hospitals and morgues. Or even dug them out of cemeteries. There was no need to go through the trouble of killing people. Besides, burning bodies isn't really an efficient way to generate power anyway. Breaking down furniture or raiding lumber yards would have worked too and been less dangerous."

Slattery tapped his fingers on the table as he regarded Caroline. Not wanting to be caught in the middle of a fight between the XO and Danny's sister, Kara jumped in. "I take it you have another suggestion for Olympia's purpose?"

Again Carl glanced at Alisha, his unease about talking about Amy Granderson in front of her daughter apparent. "We think Olympia's real purpose, or at least part of its purpose, was to find people who were immune to the virus. There's evidence in the files that some of those early incidents of the virus escaping quarantine weren't accidents. Somebody was actively spreading it."

"These immunes. They were looking for people like themselves." Slattery was the one to state the obvious conclusion.

"That's what we think, sir," Carl replied. "Doctor Scott estimated that between one and five percent of the population are immune. That translates to between sixty thousand and three hundred thousand people in Maryland alone. If you add in Pennsylvania, that could mean another six hundred thousand."

There was a long pause before Slattery spoke, sounding shell-shocked. "That is a hell of an army."

Carl nodded. "But as the Red Flu spread, people stopped gathering in large group, making it harder to figure out who was immune. Like in our case, we had no reason to think that Lieutenant Green was immune because he was never exposed to the virus."

"I think that's when my mother made a deal with these people." Alisha's voice dripped with disgust and loathing. "She turned over those who were immune, and in exchange they left Avocet alone. She only cared about her select few and she was willing to sacrifice everyone else to keep them safe."

"That could be how the mercenaries learned about the Nathan James," Slattery mused. "If Ferguson was one of these immunes he might have told whoever sent the team to Solace about the James. They just got the wrong ship."

"But if there were hundreds of thousands of people who were immune, why did Hamada go after Chris? Why," Kara's voice faltered, "why do what they did in Baltimore?"

Nobody could meet her eyes. Caroline was the one who eventually answered the question. "At the beginning Doctor Hamada probably thought that immunity was the secret to developing a vaccine. That's why he was so interested in Chris. But without the primordial strain all of his attempts failed. Rachel thinks it's because of the human gene that Niels Sorensen added. Once Hamada realized that, immunity was meaningless to him. He wouldn't have cared what Granderson and Ferguson were doing. But stem cells are different. They can actually replace diseased cells, which means that they could provide a means of developing a vaccine or even a cure without the primordial."

Kara nodded, her throat to thick to speak, realizing only after the fact that she had never told Caroline what happened at Avocet or even that she was pregnant, although the later was easy enough to guess. Kara's eyes flew to the other woman's face, but Caroline was giving nothing away. _Another conversation to have with Danny._

"What we can't figure out," Carl admitted, "is why they wanted to locate other immunes. What are they planning?"

Slattery shook his head. "They're a cult. They believe that they are the chosen, destined to inherit the earth, and it's their duty to find other people who are chosen, to bring them into the fold. Anyone who won't join is a threat. And we've seen what these people do about perceived threats." He looked around the table. "Which is why we need to find that sub, and take them out."


	33. I would rather my heart be without word

_Ch. 33 -_ _"I would rather my heart be without words than my words be without heart."_ _― LaMar Boschman_

 _x_

 _Niels._

That son of a bitch.

Danny barely stopped himself from putting his fist through the window before him. Niels was the reason that Benz and Smith and Berchem were dead. The reason why Kara almost died. The reason why Danny's family was split, his brother driven into hiding.

 _The reason why ninety percent of the global population was dead or dying._

If Danny wasn't looking at the asshole right now, if Niels' profile wasn't clear as day through the hotel window, he wouldn't have believed it. How Niels got off the Vyerni before it sank _and_ made it to Florida without dying of thirst or exposure was whatever the opposite of a miracle was. And it didn't look like Niels was laying low either. Through the window Danny could see tables full of laboratory equipment. Niels must be helping the mercenaries - there was no other explanation for his presence here - and even without having any idea what the man was working on, Danny knew that it was bad.

Danny glanced over his shoulder. It would be so easy to kill the Norwegian. Getting inside would be easy - a quick smash to the window and he could snap Niels' neck before the man had time to figure out what was happening. He might even be able to get out without being seen, depending on whether Niels had guards. The problem was that there was no way to warn Tex or the team inside the hotel that he was about to blow his cover, and probably theirs as well.

 _Which meant the plan sucked._

"Hey, what are you doing?"

 _Fuck_. Grabbing his fly, Danny pretended to zip. "Chill out, man. Just taking a piss."

Luckily the self-assigned foreman seemed to buy it, his expression more annoyed than suspicious. "Well, get back to work. Sean wants these boxes unloaded yesterday."

 _Sean_. Danny memorized the name of the leader of this little group. Although the name was Irish, it was also a common name in the States, so not necessarily connected to the mercenaries who took out the labs. Grabbing a box, Danny felt sweat begin to pool under his shirt. Even in early November the Florida air was sticky. There wasn't anything Danny could do about it, though, as removing his collared flannel would expose the radio he was hiding. When they joined this convoy four hours ago, their goal had been to follow the men who attacked the Florida lab, hoping that they would lead them to the men responsible for the missile attack on the laboratories. But knowing that Niels was here, and somehow involved, definitely changed things. As soon as he could break away without rousing the suspicions of the foreman, Danny needed to get word to Wolf about Niels. Wolf had slipped off the back of the truck with the bag of their gear three buildings down, just before Danny and Tex were diverted away from the main entrance where the buses were headed and sent down to the service entrance. Hopefully by now Wolf had established contact with the Captain, Carlton and Ravit - assuming they made it off the buses and into the hotel without being discovered.

"Load up." Tex slapped Danny's back. "Time for a supply run."

Sliding into the truck next to Tex, Danny waited until both doors were closed so nobody could overhear him. "Niels is here."

"You sure?"

Danny would have been annoyed at the question if Tex didn't sounded so shocked - and pissed. "I got a good look. It was definitely him. Look, that's him getting into the van."

He nodded towards the first vehicle in line. Tex scowled. "We'll, fuck. How the hell did that mofo hook up with these assholes? You report in?"

"Just about to." As soon as the line of trucks began moving, Danny connected his radio. "Tiger, calling Mother."

But it was Wolf who responded. "Ship's at EMCON."

 _Fuck._ If the ship was silent, that meant they had found the sub - or the sub had found them - and it was close. Danny let his mind wander momentarily to Kara, wondering what she was doing. With the sub within range, she would be spending long hours at CIC, on her feet, probably not eating or drinking enough – all things that Rachel warned her against. Once again Danny wondered whether he made a mistake, back in Norfolk. He should have pushed her to stay there, safe from this new threat. But even as he thought it, Danny knew that Kara never would have agreed. She was too dedicated. To the Navy. To the crew. To the mission.

 _It made him wonder where he fell on her list of priorities._

Danny forced himself to focus on the present, filling Wolf in on Niels before asking, "Any word on Vulture?"

"Negative."

That was concerning. The team had been in the hotel for hours, more than enough time to make contact. _Unless something was wrong._ "Keep trying. And we need an exfil plan, just in case."

"On it. Out."

Tex tugged on his beard. "What the hell do you think they're up to?"

"I'm not sure. But whatever it is, Niels will be spreading the virus. Rachel said he's permanently contagious."

"You think he might recognize us?"

"Nah," Danny scoffed. "We saw him for what? All of twenty seconds? And he was inside a bubble."

"Well, you're a lot less recognizable than me if it comes to that," Tex replied, actually sounding nervous. "I mean, you've got that vanilla thing."

Danny snorted. If anything, he was _far_ more memorable than Tex. "Okay, whatever you say, Duck Dynasty."

Tex stroked his beard again, waggling his eyebrows. "Yeah, I'm a distinctive man. And the ladies like it. Kara said so herself."

There was no way Danny could let that go without a roll of his eyes. "Keep dreaming, Tex. Keep dreaming."

"We're stopping." That nervousness was back. No doubt about it, seeing Niels had shaken Tex. "Keep to the back, just in case."

It was good advice, and Danny planned to follow it, but as soon as Niels started talking that plan went out the window. "So remember, the gel, it soaks the fur so as long as the bear is wet, it's contagious. So really encourage the child to squeeze the bear."

Even the head guy - someone that Danny heard referred to as Ned - looked disgusted. Seeing him close up, with no plastic between them, Niels was even creepier. "What the hell? I'm not doing your dirty work for you."

 _That voice._ Danny knew it instantly. _This_ was the man from Solace. The one who taunted them over the intercom. The one who executed unarmed men and women, scientists and doctors, in an effort to destroy the cure. The one whose attempt to blow up the ship was prevented only by Tex's totally improvised, and rather suicidal, plan.

"I can't do it. I mean, if I breathe on them, they'll get the virus anyway. It's not a controlled experiment. We need to see if the bear works."

Ned sighed, seeming to share Danny's distaste, although presumably for different reasons. "I need a volunteer. Who likes kids?"

"What kind of sick fuck..." Tex shot him a quelling look but Danny's blood was boiling. Niels was holding a teddy bear. _A child's toy._ Designed to infect kids with the virus. _To kill them._ These people weren't just making the best of a bad situation, clinging to each other as a way to survive, having lived through the unimaginable horror of watching everyone around them die. These people were murderers. Actively working to spread the virus. Danny couldn't let them do this. He couldn't let them kill a child. Every instinct was screaming at him to stop this.

He raised a hand. "I'll do it. What can I do for you, sir?"

"See that trailer park over there? Go and hand it out to one of the kids. It, uh, squeaks." Niels squeezed the bear slightly, acting like they were trying to catch a dog or a rat. And Danny realized that was really how these people saw the non-immune. Like pests. As a nuisance to be dealt with. "Kids enjoy that."

"Yeah, it's our way of making friends in the community." Ned's smile made it worse. "You know, they may not be immune, but we got to be good neighbors. And you know, people are a bit skittish of strangers. So this will loosen them up."

Danny thought he might vomit. "Yeah, sure."

For a moment he thought it would be simple. He could wander around for a few, ditch the bear and lie. And then the plan – simple as it was – was fouled. "Jimmy, take Willie and go back him up."

Danny held the bear carefully, making sure not to squeeze it as they walked towards the trailers. Last thing he wanted was to make himself contagious. Long minutes passed without running into anyone and, once again, he thought there was a way to salvage this without blowing his cover. "Hey, guys, there's nobody here."

But dumb and dumber were having none of it, loyalty rather than intelligence clearly the reason for their supervisor positions. "That's Sean's little brother. We do what he says."

One of them pointed behind Danny. "There."

It was a girl. Maybe ten years old. Hesitant. Dirty. Carrying a doll stroller in one hand as she rooted around in the trash looking for food or clothes or something that she needed. And looking at her, all Danny could think about was his own baby. There wasn't a chance in hell that he would put a child at risk.

"Hi, I'm Danny." He expected her to run but instead she stared at him uncertainly, too young and innocent to realize the danger that he posed even without the bear. "What's your name?"

"Laura." She smiled at the bear. "What's that?"

"No! Don't come any closer." He had spoken too loudly but, a glance back at his escort showed that they hadn't moved - yet. He lowered his voice. "I need you to turn around and get out of here as fast as you can, Laura. Go!"

"Hey!" It didn't take long for his guards to notice their prey disappearing. Danny spun, looking for an escape route but this time his luck was done. Dumbs had pulled out his gun, his handle on it so loose that Danny wondered if a man had ever fired it before. Probably one of those guys who did target practice once a year and thought himself an expert. "These people aren't who they claim to be! Niels, he's the one who made the virus! He's the one who started all of this. Sean is lying to you!"

Neither man seemed to have heard a word Danny said. "We've got our orders, man."

Which left Danny no choice. It took him less than three seconds to disarm both and five to have them on the ground, the shots ensuring that they would not be following him. But without a silencer, those shots would have been heard blocks away. And coming back without his escort would make it clear what happened.

Hearing Tex shout and an engine start, Danny took off towards the vehicles. A truck came rolling around the corner. His gun was up before it registered that it was Tex in the driver's seat, and he threw himself in. Hooking up his radio, he tried to connect. "We need an evac now!"

"Ship still out of range," Wolf responded. Danny swore under his breath. He knew that he was blowing his and Tex's cover when he took those two guys out - and possibly screwing over the rest of the team. There was no way to warn them to get out. His only hope was that nobody could connect him and Tex to the others. Danny tried to remember if there had been anyone who saw them together before they separated. He was fairly certain the answer was no, but "fairly certain" was never comforting when you were talking about someone's life.

"Damn." Danny slammed his fist against the seat, making sure not to jostle the bear in the process. "They wanted me to give that thing to a _kid_."

"Niels recognized me." Tex's lips were thin.

" _Fuck._ Think he saw the Captain or the others?"

"Nope. But couldn't take the chance so I grabbed him." Tex took a corner far too quickly. "Got him in back. Figured Doctor Scott might want to chat. If he lives. Guy took a bullet."

 _Well, fuck_. Danny had always known that Tex had more than basic training but there were times when he had to wonder just what it was that the guy did back at Gitmo. Kidnapping a high profile target and stealing a truck when surrounded by no fewer than twenty hostiles took balls. No wonder those assholes were chasing them. "We need somewhere to lay low until we can get an evac and then we have to get rid of those bears."

Tex grinned. "I know just the place."

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"A school?" Danny grunted, dropping an unconscious Niels to the floor of the cafeteria. Before the man passed out from the pain his belly-aching was enough to make Danny consider putting another bullet in Niels just so the guy would finally shut up. Glancing around he had to give Tex credit. Ditching the van at a local marina and setting a couple sailboats out on pre-programmed paths was admittedly a good way to throw someone off their tail, even if carrying Niels' dead-weight the five miles to the school had been exhausting. Tex got the box of teddy bears, which were significantly lighter.

"Last place anyone will check," Tex replied, obviously unconcerned. "The bodies will keep regular survivors away and the immunes will expect us to head back towards the ship or hit up gun shops for supplies."

Danny checked the window, even though they hadn't seen anyone living for more than twenty minutes. "Sorry Tex. I couldn't do it. I couldn't give that teddy bear to a kid."

"Hell, Green, not on you. Niels made me the second he saw me. Better we got out when we did." Silence fell as both men considered what happened at the trailer park. "I couldn't have done it either. Would have kept picturing my little girl."

That was unexpected. Tex never talked about his personal life. Sure, he mentioned old military buddies and occasionally knew a little too much about places where no ordinary contractor should have been, but never anything specific. Carlton and Danny had speculated about it at times, wondering if the guy was CIA. But neither of them had ever imagined Tex was a family man."You have a kid?"

"Kat. She's fourteen." Tex paused, a smile crossing his face. "It's the scary thing, becoming a dad. But you'll make it work, Green. You and Kara, you got something special there. Assuming you don't screw it up again."

Not waiting for Danny to respond, Tex gathered the box of bears, kicking Niels to make sure the man wasn't playing possum. "Now time to find a bathroom. Good a place as any to start a bonfire."

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Kara stepped into Danny's cabin, swinging the door shut behind her, heedless of who might see. Neither one of them spoke as Danny wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head in her hair. It might have only been two days since he saw her, but those two days felt like an eternity. He wasn't sure how long they stood like that, drawing comfort from each other, before Kara raised her head, her eyes scanning his face. "I heard that you brought Niels back with you."

His stomach churned at the reminder. "I couldn't believe it when I saw him, Kara. He was making infected teddy bears. They were giving them to kids. _Kids_. These people aren't just trying to stop the cure. They're spreading the virus."

"I know." Kara's simple statement caught him off-guard. She dropped her head to his shoulders, her arms tightening around him, voice muffled against his shirt. "Carl and Alisha were working on the Avocet database while you were gone. Once we knew about the immunes, what Ferguson was doing suddenly made sense. That's what Olympia was about, part of it anyway. Finding people who were immune. Amy Granderson worked out some kind of deal with these immunes to turn over the survivors in exchange for leaving Avocet alone. So long as she had her precious commune of the worthy, she didn't care what happened to anyone else."

Danny's breath caught. He had known that Amy Granderson was evil but this, this was beyond anything he could have imagined. "I hope she rots in hell."

Kara didn't respond right away and, when she did speak, her voice cracked. "That's not all, either. There's evidence that Ferguson was infecting groups and flushing people out long before he hooked up with Granderson and Hamada."

Danny was so tired that it took far longer than it should have for him to connect the dots. "Chris?"

"Caroline thinks that Ferguson deliberately started the outbreak at George Mason. Rachel said that the number of outbreaks at colleges was statistically unlikely without some other factor." Kara laughed bitterly. "As though statistics matter anymore."

"God. How did Alisha take it?"

"Better than I expected," Kara admitted. "I thought finding out her mother was connected to the immunes might drive her over the edge, but she's holding it together. I think knowing that Captain Chandler trusted her enough to have her look at the information helped. And it's better that she found out now. Learning about it later and realizing that everyone kept it a secret would have been worse."

The slight bite to Kara's tone told Danny that he was treading on ice here. "Are you upset that I didn't tell you about the database?"

There was a long pause, although Kara didn't move her head from its position on his chest. "I was. That's my medical information, Danny. Stuff about me. Stuff about the baby. You should have told me that it was floating around out there for any crazy to get his hands on."

"I'm sorry," Danny offered, running a hand down her back. And he was. But that didn't mean he would make a different choice if presented with the situation had been so fragile after Baltimore, too fragile to take another blow. "You said was?"

Kara sighed. "I realized that I did the same thing to Alisha. Not telling her. Worried that it would be too upsetting. Well intended but..."

Danny dropped his head to her hair, taking a deep breath, letting the slightly floral scent seep through him. "I thought that I was being paranoid, worrying about it. Even Rachel agreed that there was no use for the information Ferguson stole. There was no reason to think that he was after you or the baby or Chris or anyone."

Kara's voice softened. "But you were still worried."

"I couldn't explain why I was worried. Just a gut feeling. Not exactly scientific." Danny looped a strand of her hair around a finger. "I didn't want to scare you when you had so much going on already."

"You should have told me." Kara shifted, pressing a kiss against his jaw before meeting his eyes. "But I understand why you didn't. You calling for an evac earlier, when I didn't know whether we would get to you in time, it reminded me about what's important. I don't want to spend our time on things that aren't."

Danny looked away, the images from today still too fresh. "Those people, the ones at the hotel, they used to be normal people like you and me. Now they're killers. What kind of a world are we bringing his kid into, Kara?"

"I don't know. I don't understand what happened here or in Baltimore or what we may be facing in New Orleans. But I do know that we will do whatever we need to do to make this a better world for our child." Kara lifted her hands to cup his face, a stray tear running down her cheek. "And I know that is how I want to spend the rest of my life, Danny. With you. Raising this baby. Together."

Forcing himself to keep the embrace light, Danny bent down to give Kara a gentle kiss before tightening his arms around her and once more allowing silence to fall.

 _Sometime there was nothing to say._


	34. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream

_Ch. 34 - "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." ~ Buddha._

 _x_

"So these are the volunteers I have heard so much about." Michener's voice was exactly what Danny expected of a politician. Smooth. Warm. _Fake_ _._ "Doctor Scott told me how invaluable your assistance was in developing a vaccine, Ms. Williams. And I'm sure that your contribution will be equally valuable, Mr. Green."

Michener glanced around the helicopter-bay-turned laboratory, as though hoping Doctor Scott would appear, despite having been told that she wasn't here. Whatever Danny thought about the man – and so far nothing he thought about Michener was particularly good – their newly discovered president did know how to work a crowd. Both Bertrise and Chris were awe-stricken, seeming equally embarrassed and flattered by the attention he was showering on them. And from what Wright was saying at meals, Michener was having the same effect on the crew, his visits to the mess and the deck since his "rescue" from the Immunes boosting morale.

 _Or building them all up for a fall._

Call him cynical, but Danny wasn't sold on Michener's abrupt transformation from brainwashed cult member, swallowing the Ramseys' koolaid hook, line, and sinker, to a man who claimed to abhor the Immunes' actions and wanted to do everything possible to stop them from spreading the virus. The prisoner that they took from Solace had been believable too, convincing enough to fool both the XO and Master Chief, at least for a little while. Who was to say that Michener wasn't just bidding his time? Using these meet-and-greet opportunities to case the ship and then jump at the earliest opportunity? Or even worse, could he be using his position to lead them into a trap?

Finding number twelve on the list of presidential succession in the Immunes' compound _had_ been rather coincidental. True the Captain, Burk and Ravit had seen television clips of the man, but it wasn't as if recorded television broadcasts couldn't be faked. And what better way to convince Captain Chandler to divert the Nathan James to New Orleans, potentially leading them right into a trap, than have the president-and-chief make it an order? Alisha claimed that it was impossible for Michener to be communicating with anyone off the James, that they were jamming all outgoing signals, but Danny couldn't shake the feeling that there was something off about President Jeffrey Michener. For the first time, Danny understood Captain Chandler's decision to have his father and children remain behind in Norfolk. Everyone he loved was on this ship – his father, sister, brother, Kara, the baby.

If the Immunes attacked, he could lose everything in a single moment.

Which was the reason that Danny was here, playing guard in the helo bay rather than spending his downtime with Kara or his team or catching up some much needed sleep. Just the idea of Michener being in the same room as Chris or Caro or Kara made him twitchy. So he was here, memorizing every word that Michener said, analyzing every twitch, searching for any sign that Michener's purpose here was something more than a moral boosting meet-and-greet.

And he wasn't the only one. From the moment Michener walked into the lab, Caro had been tense, on guard, as though she was waiting for someone to jump out and scream boo. Danny wondered how much she knew. Although news of Michener's association with the Immunes was supposed to be need-to-know, Caro was incredibly good at weaseling information out of people and in her fury about the teddy bears Rachel would have been an easy target.

"It's an honor to meet you, Mr. President," Chris responded. When Michener reached out to take the offered hand, his sleeve rose, revealing a glimpse of the bandages underneath. If the guy really had been an unwilling captive of the Ramseys, as Ravit seemed to think, why slit his wrists at the first sight of freedom? Upon returning to their cabin after the incident – one that was immediately deemed need-to-know, Danny learning the truth only because he, along with the XO, Master Chief Jeter, and Burk were now providing Michener with around-the-clock "security" – even Tex's usual optimism was shaken. After bundling up his blood-stained clothing to burn, he had turned to Danny, shaking his head.

 _"The virus might not have killed his body, but his mind. That's a whole nuther ball of wax."_

"Are you planning to follow in your brother's footsteps, young man?" Michener inquired, focus completely on Chris.

"I hope to, sir. If I can," Chris stammered. Danny caught the flash of unease the crossed Mark Green's face. While Mark and Joanne didn't oppose Danny's choice to join the Navy, they had done their best to steer their eldest in a different direction, convincing him to wait until after graduating from college before making a final decision. The thought of Chris joining the military as well clearly brought out a gut-jerk reaction from Mark - and one that wasn't exactly positive. Of course, given the state of the world, it wasn't clear to Danny what other options Chris would have. Who knew how long it would take before schools and universities were back on line? And even then, Chris's dream of working for NASA, designing rocket engines, was pretty clearly off the table in the short-term. A Navy career focused on engineering might be the way to go.

Michener turned to Bertrise. "How about you, Ms. Williams?"

"I hope to train with Doctor Scott. Perhaps become a nurse," Bertrise answered humbly. According to Caro, the young woman was already a capable assistant.

"A very worthy goal." Michener glanced around again, his gaze finally settling on Danny. "Now where is the good doctor? I was hoping to speak with her about a few matters."

 _Avoiding you_. Instead Danny gave the answer that Rachel gave him when he arrived to see her practically running down the pathway in the opposite direction, something that Caro claimed happened immediately after President Michener's planned visit was annouced. "Doctor Scott was needed in sick bay, sir."

"That's unfortunate. I hoped to ask her about our prisoner," Michener replied, but his smile seemed more forced, his interest (or over-interest) in Niels another red flag as far as Danny was concerned. An awkward silence fell before Michener turned to Jeter. "I believe it's time for our meeting with Captain Chandler?"

Danny knew that the Captain Chandler was in CIC getting an update on the submarine's location, making it unlikely that the CO needed Michener, but the Master Chief didn't blink. "Yes, sir, I believe that you are correct."

Danny watched as the two men exited the helo bay, about to make his own departure when Caro blocked him. "Coffee?"

He raised an eyebrow. Caro _never_ offered him coffee unless she wanted something. Most likely information that he couldn't tell her. "No thanks."

Caro scowled. "Fine, then walk me to the cafeteria to get some. I can't go alone. Rules, remember?"

Leaving Walker on duty outside the helicopter bay, Danny fell into step alongside Caroline as she hurried along the pathway. Caro had collected her coffee and they were on their way back to the lab when he finally gave in to curiosity, telling himself that he was a better target than someone like Cruz, who was likely to spill his guts just to get Caro to stop giving him the cold-shoulder. "Was it an escort you required or something else?"

Caro glanced up and down the corridor, confirming that they were alone. "Something's off with Rachel. Niels is getting to her. He feeds her little bits of information and she spends all night fixating on finding the solution, but there isn't one. He's just telling her random things, making her jump through hoops and driving her crazy. She'd be better off spending her time figuring it out herself. I was hoping that you could talk to someone. Maybe Captain Chandler could stop her from going."

As usually with his sister, she picked one of the last topics that Danny wanted to discuss. "It's Rachel's choice."

"Choice?" Caro snorted. "There's no choice when he might know the answer to powderizing the cure. It could save millions. And he knows it. He's pushing her to the edge, Danny, and I'm afraid she's going to break."

The worry in Caro's voice got to him, until Danny remembered just who they were dealing with. _Doctor Rachel Scott did not do anything that she did not want to do_. "Look, I agree that it sucks but Rachel is stronger than she seems. She knows what she's doing. Trust me."

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"You going to tell me what's bugging you?" Alisha asked. She leaned forward in her chair, taking a sip of her water bottle.

Kara watched as Rick made a basket, hooting and hollering as Teylor gave him a high five. Originally she had chafed at the Captain's R&R order, wanting to remain in CIC hunting for the submarine, but she could now see the wisdom of forcing everyone to take a break. Still in Quiet 1, they were moving at only twelve knots and in a somewhat erratic pattern, stretching the trip from Florida to New Orleans over five days. After only three, Kara could see the difference in the crew. People were more energetic, happier, the very mood of the ship lifting. In fact, the only person who hadn't seemed to benefit from this time was Rachel, who had reverted to her behavior from the Arctic, taking all of her meals in her lab and appearing only when her presence was mandated.

"Kara?" Alisha prompted, reminding Kara that she was not alone.

She sighed. "It's silly."

"I just found out that my mother was working with the Ramseys and trading people for supplies. I could use some silly right now," Alisha replied, shading her eyes with her hand and conveniently blocking Kara's view of her face.

Kara looked over, startled by Alisha's blunt statement. This was the first time that she had mentioned Amy Granderson's connection to the Immunes outside of official business. Hesitating, Kara finally asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Hell no." Alisha waited until Carl was done sinking a basket. It was CIC versus TAC except for Danny, who had switched sides. He claimed it was in order to even out the teams but Kara was suspicious. Her guys were more than capable of holding their own and Danny's less-than-subtle efforts to integrate himself with her team had not gone unnoticed. Kirkland had gone so far as to ask her what the deal was. _If only she knew_. "So tell me about this silly issue that has your mind wandering."

Checking to make sure that nobody could overhear, Kara slouched in her chair. "I think Danny gave the ring back."

Alisha was immediately interested, pulling her knees up so she could sit sideways. "Oh, now this is good stuff! Two questions. Why do you think he gave the ring back and why do you care? Last I heard you weren't exactly jumping at the idea of becoming Mrs. Danny Green."

That, of course, was the reason why Kara didn't plan on telling Alisha but now that she had, she might as well give her the whole story. "I wasn't back in Baltimore." _She was too angry - too upset with Danny, with Captain Chandler, with the world - to realize what she was giving up._ "But then things in Norfolk were different." _The way they used to be, back in the Arctic, before everything went so wrong. But even better because now she knew that he loved her. He wanted the baby. He wanted a future together._ "And then with what happened in Florida..." _She could have lost him. His voice over the radio calling for immediate extraction, a call she couldn't answer without giving away their position to the submarine, knowing those might be the last words she heard him say._ "I screwed up Alisha. You were right, before, when you said that no means it's over. I finally know what I want and it's too late."

"Please, Danny is currently playing five-on-five with Nishioka and Mason, who really is terrible at basketball, in an effort to impress you." Alisha rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should tell him what you just told me rather than sulking about the fact that the guy is not a mind-reader."

That, in a nutshell, was the problem and the reason that Kara was, admittedly, sulking. "I did. When he got back from Florida. I basically told him that I would say yes."

"And?"

Kara leaned back, taking another sip of her water. "And nothing. He didn't say anything."

Another snort. "I feel like I'm in a soap opera right now. Really? You gave him what, all of three days to ask you again when, I'll remind you, the last time did not go well. Besides, why does he have to ask? Equal rights and all. You could ask him."

Kara gaze Alisha a dark look, earning a giggle. After the disaster that was Baltimore, she could understand Danny not wanting to stick his neck out but ... "I can understand waiting but why give back the ring?"

"But what makes you think he gave it back to the Master Chief?"

This was the tricky part. Technically the frat rules were still in place, which meant she wasn't supposed to be in Danny's quarters at all. "It's been in his locker, next to his pictures since we left Norfolk. Now it's gone."

Alisha chuckled. "I'm not going to ask except, how do you know he didn't just stick it in his underwear drawer?"

"I looked. Everywhere," Kara admitted, drawing another cackle from Alisha.

"Just how much time are the two of you spending together these days?"

Kara fought the urge to shift in her chair. "It's probably better for you not to know."

"Ha. Just as long as you aren't using my bunk."

"We aren't," Kara replied quickly but Alisha was no longer paying attention, gazing past Kara's shoulder.

"Is that who I think it is?"

Caroline Green stepped onto deck, her appearance resulting in Teylor missing a basket, much to Carlton's disgust and everyone else's amusement. Kara exchanged glances with Alisha, hiding a grin. She lifted a hand, waving at Caroline. The woman hesitated, her eyes flickering towards Teylor before she picked her way around the deck towards Alisha and Kara. Caroline might not want anyone to know, but it was pretty obvious that she wasn't as indifferent to Teylor as she liked to pretend.

"Wonder what she's here to bitch about," Alisha commented under her breath.

Kara shot her a quelling look. "Caroline has been working long hours helping Rachel and Doctor Milowsky with the powderized cure. She probably just needed a break."

"After hours with that woman I'd need a break too." Alisha gathered her water. "Let's find Ravit and Nina and see if anyone is up for a girls night. Maybe this time we can talk Ravit into watching a Molly Ringwald movie."

Laughing, Kara rose. "First let's grab some food. I need subsistence before listening to you and Ravit argue over movies."

"It's not my fault she had terrible taste," Alisha groused. "I mean, who watches Die Hard _on purpose_?"

Not bothering to respond, Kara headed towards Caroline Green to suggest the dinner/movie plan. At least with her plan she wouldn't miss dinner while waiting for Ravit and Alisha to come to an agreement on something.

 _And maybe a night with the girls would distract her from wondering whether she really had ruined things back in Baltimore._

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Danny was in the middle of a curl-up when Tex walked into the cabin, skirting around him without missing a beat. Throwing himself on Danny's bunk, Tex watched him silently, stroking Halsey's ears. The dog immediately dropped to the deck, rolling onto his back. "It appears that somebody's in a good mood. What do you think, Admiral? Did Kara throw him back to the wolves?"

"You aren't funny, Tex," Danny grunted. "And no, Kara didn't do anything."

"So then why aren't you off stealing yourself a kiss?"

Danny did three more curls. "Caroline's worried about Rachel."

The amused look fell off Tex's face. He dropped his eyes to Halsey as he scratched the dog's belly. "She tell you why?"

"She thinks Sorenson is manipulating her, driving her crazy giving her fake clues. Caroline wants me to say something to Captain Chandler, ask him to stop letting Rachel see Niels." Danny snorted. "As if Captain Chandler could stop her. That woman does what she wants."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure those visits aren't the Doc's idea," Tex said slowly, his serious tone more concerning than his words.

Danny stopped mid-curl. "Who suggested them?"

Tex shrugged. "Can't say that for sure, but that new President has been down in the lab twice a day all week, saying he wants the new cure ready before we get to New Orleans, asking about her progress with Niels. Putting a lot of pressure on the Doc. Course, the Doc isn't exactly slacking. Those teddy bears brought a whole new level of fury. I thought she was going to burst into flames on the spot she was so mad."

"So you agree with Caroline? Think that something's wrong with Rachel?" Danny blanched, recalling those times in the Arctic when his plans clashed with Rachel's plans. Arguing with the woman was like banging your head against a wall - pointless, and you got a headache. "Do you think I should say something to the Captain?"

Tex paused, before shaking his head. "Nah, those two are peas in a pod. Both too stubborn to back down. If he tells her not to do it, she'll probably turn around and do it more. Things will work themselves out. They have so far. Just might be a little bit bumpy for a while."

Danny returned to his curls, feeling far less confident than he had only twenty minutes before. Everyone was worried about Captain Chandler. First losing his wife and then with what happened at the labs. If they started to lose Rachel too...

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Answering it, Danny was greeted by Cruz. "XO wants us to gear up. Guess Doctor Scott needs us to find her some oysters. Said she's close to a breakthrough."

 _Maybe those visits with Niels were worth it after all._


	35. It has been said, 'time heals all wounds

_A/N - apologies for the long delay, real life got in the way of writing for a bit but I'm back and have the remainder of this story prewritten so the plan is to continue posting on Wednesdays as I finish editing. Hope you all enjoy!_

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 _Ch. 35 - "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." ― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy_

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They brought Cody's body back to the Nathan James for burial.

Danny stood by the rail on the top deck, tossing a ball to Halsey, surreptitiously watching the ceremony going on below. The Master Chief had suggested that the group needed the opportunity to say goodbye and Ray Diaz had agreed, his voice quivering, his eyes darted everywhere except the bottom of the rhib where Cody's body lay. And, of course, the Master Chief was right. These kids had been at summer camp, cut off from civilization when the Red Flu hit. Like so many on the Nathan James, none of them knew what had happened to their families, their friends. All they knew was that nobody ever arrived to take them home. They _needed_ to see Cody's body, to know for certain that he was gone. It was an opportunity to get the closure that they were unlikely to get in any other area of their lives.

Flipping the ball to Halsey, Danny found himself replaying the events of the day before, searching for the errors that turned a simple mission to harvest fresh-water mussels for Rachel into a firefight that ended with a sixteen-year-old kid dead.

In retrospect, the entire op was a mess, right from the moment they ran into the kids. Twelve of them, ranging in age from sixteen-year-old Ray Diaz to ten-year-old Natalie Wolchuck, driven from their summer camp upriver to the docks in search of food and supplies. Originally their attempt to capture Burk was more amusing than concerning, everyone on the TAC team assuming this was a case of scared kids aggressively defending their territory. But after Ray mentioned the bounty, that all changed.

A reward for capturing anyone in a military uniform, and a second, heftier reward for the capture of Doctor Rachel Scott.

Really, they should have cut their losses, gathered the mussels, inoculated the kids, and gotten the hell out of dodge. But Captain Chandler wanted to know who was behind the bounty, hoping that it would lead them to the submarine, going so far as to agree to Ray's outrageous terms. Not just taking the other kids to the Nathan James - which was the only safe option anyway, they couldn't leave the kids there to deal with the fallout - but letting Ray stay. Those moments played in Danny's head over and over again, and he wondered how Ray managed to fool all of them. Ravit was the only one to protest, pulling both Danny and the Master Chief aside.

 _"They're kids. They shouldn't be involved."_

 _Danny gave her a level look. Sure Natalie was a kid, but Ray and Cody were sixteen and Colin and Sydney were both fifteen. Definitely old enough to know what they were doing. "They tried to take Burk hostage. They involved themselves."_

 _Still, Ravit refused to let it go, tenacity being one of her best, and most annoying, traits. "It's wrong. We should leave before anyone figures out we were here."_

 _"We can't take the chance that the kids tell the Immunes we were here and they follow us," the Master Chief offered solemnly. "This is the best way."_

But, of course, in the end Ravit was right. Ray and Cody were too young to understand what they had gotten themselves involved with, and the failure of the adults around them to take teenage male bravado into account resulted in the death of a kid.

How Cody managed to slip off the rhib, even with the other kids covering for him, was disconcerting. Teylor took responsibility for not noticing that Cody was missing when they headed back, acknowledging that he should have counted heads instead of a roll-call, but the lapse was frightening. The XO was already organizing some evacuation practice drills to drill home the point. Still, no matter the reason, the end result was the same. Cody was dead, caught by a stray bullet through a door while he was hiding - no doubt terrified - in the building that had been his home for months now. Gone before the team even knew that he was in danger, everyone believing him to be safely on his way to the Nathan James.

And the men they captured, the entire purpose of the operation, had yet to provide any intel, useful or otherwise. They were simply foot-soldiers in a war that they didn't understand, told to capture anyone in Navy uniform by the Ramseys and not smart enough to question those orders. That's what Cody's life was worth. Dumb, dumber and dumbest.

"You doing okay?" Kara asked, bending down to scratch the dog's ears before moving to stand next to him at the rail, their hands not quite touching, but so close that they might as well be. Down below the ceremony was finishing, the Captain assisting Ray in tipping the board holding Cody's body over the side. Each child stepped forward to toss what appeared to be a flower into the water below puzzling him for a few minutes, before he realized that they were lilies from the pond where Teylor and Wolf had gone to gather the oysters.

"He was a kid, Kara. No different from that girl in Florida." Clamping his jaw closed, Danny stared out into the endless water, feeling Halsey pressing against his legs. "This was our fault. Ravit warned us that Ray wasn't old enough to understand but I ignored her. She was right. Ray had no idea what he was getting himself into. Neither did Cody. He thought it was exciting. Like a video game."

Kara took a moment to pet Halsey before she responded, her calm comment not what he was expecting. "Ravit was wrong."

"What?"

"Ray is sixteen. So was Cody. Only two years younger than Mason or Miller." She let that sink in. "Ray and Cody weren't too young. We screwed up, yes. We should have made sure that neither Cody or Ray were there when the Immunes arrived. But that doesn't make us responsible. Cody is dead because he made the decision to sneak off the rhib and hide in the marina. And he was old enough to understand that actions have consequences."

"The penalty was too high, Kara. Cody _died_." The weight hung heavily on his shoulders. Ray was now alone, staring in the direction of the ship's wake, as though he could still see Cody. The same way that Danny stood only a few short months ago, watching Frankie's body slide under the waves.

"I know. And we can't change that. _Ray_ can't change that. He's just going to have to figure out how to move on. Just like we do every day."

Silence fell and Danny resumed tossing the ball to Halsey until a sight on the deck below drew all of their attention. President Michener was walking towards Ray, Carlton trailing several feet behind. Kara nibbled her lip before turning. "Do you think we can trust him?"

Danny took a moment to check the deck around them to make sure that nobody was close enough to overhear. "I don't know. He was in pretty deep with the Ramseys. And CO gave strict orders to keep him away from Niels. That can't be a good sign."

"Wonder if that had anything to do with Michener refusing to let Rachel perform a biopsy on Niels," Kara mussed. At Danny's inquisitive look, she explained. "Rachel believes that a tissue sample from Niels' lungs will help her research on the powderized cure. Niels won't volunteer, of course."

"Of course not. The asshole started the damn thing and now won't even try to help."

"Anyway, Rachel asked Michener to let her to do the procedure anyway. Michener refused. Said he wouldn't sign off on medical procedures without consent."

 _Apparently the man did have a few principles left._ Danny glanced at Ray, noticing the way his hands were clenched, his jaw tight, as he spoke to Michener, obviously struggling with his emotions. Then Michener's hand fell on Ray's shoulder and a slight smile crossed the teenager's face, the President managing to somehow lighten the mood. "How will we ever go back to a normal life?"

Kara didn't answer immediately, her gaze out on the water, her face giving nothing away. "Being here on the ship, all we think about is the cure and the submarine. Once we get to New Orleans things will be different."

"What will you do once we get there?"

The question hung between them. It wasn't one that they had discussed, not since Michener made the unilateral decision to turn the Nathan James towards New Orleans. Kara was already four months pregnant, and there was no telling when the James would be returning to Norfolk.

Kara turned away, looking out at the water, her profile giving him no clue as to her thoughts. "I don't know. The chatter that we are already hearing, it's so normal. People talking about borrowing a cup of sugar and planning birthday parties for kids and discussing the weather. There's a community there. It wouldn't be a bad place to use as a base of operations. Might be a good place to put down roots. Raise a baby."

He tried to imagine it. He and Kara with their own boat, a crib tucked into the corner between the mini-kitchen and the bunk. Sitting down for dinner together. Going to bed together every night. Talking to neighbors not about possible threats but about birthday cakes and presents. But no matter how hard he tried, Danny could not picture it. The images shifting away, never crystallizing. "Maybe."

He thought he saw a flicker of sadness cross her face at his doubtful reply, but before he could ask, she turned towards him, a teasing smile on her face. "But it's not like we need to figure it out. Not right away. Five months is a long time. Long enough for you to sweep me off my feet."

 _And long enough for eighty percent of the world to die._

Danny slid his hand to cover Kara's. She was right. Five months was an eternity. There was no reason to rush into anything.

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Danny grabbed a couple cookies and a soda as he made his way across the mess to where Chris was sitting, surprised to see the teenager alone. "Where's Betrise?"

A scowl crossed Chris's face. "She had to help Lieutenant Mason with something."

Danny hid a smile at Chris's piss-poor mood. Chris's crush on Bertrise was painfully obvious, as was Betrise's crush on Will Mason. In fact, the only person in that little love-triangle who wasn't wearing their heart on their sleeve was Mason. Although it was possible that the guy was simply more adept at hiding his feelings. He certainly _liked_ Bertrise but whether he liked her as a little cousin or as a romantic interest, Danny was clueless. The realization that there was only a year difference in age between Will and Chris struck Danny again. He had trusted his life to Mason. He _did_ trust his life to Mason. A kid barely older than the little brother. He needed to stop picturing Chris as a five-year-old kid stuck in a tree and see him for who he was - a young man who was doing what he could to help find and spread the cure.

He bit into one of the oatmeal cookies. Not Bacon's best, but not terrible either. "Did Commander Garnett tell you about the new rules?"

With the addition of ten kids to the rooster, the CO had been forced to relax his rule about civilians requiring a guard to move around the ship. They simply didn't have the manpower to escort fourteen civilians everywhere, in addition to guarding Michener, Niels and the three Immune prisoners. Fleetingly, Danny wondered if anyone thought to tell Caro about the change. Hopefully. Otherwise he could expect another lecture next time he saw his sister.

"Yeah." Chris shrugged.

"I heard what you said to President Michener, about maybe joining the Navy."

Chris shrugged again. "Yeah, we'll see. Not like there's much else to do."

Danny raised an eyebrow, offering Chris a cookie. "Sounds like a great reason to join the Navy to me. Not much else to do."

"Har, har." Chris took a small bite. "I can't just do nothing. You and Caroline are both busy all the time. And now Dad's helping out with the kids. I need something to do. Might as well join the Navy."

It was a common complaint from Chris. A much younger third child, he often seemed lost, unable to make a decision, always feeling outpaced by siblings who - in Chris's mind anyway - were never hesitant or undecided. Maybe that was why Chris seemed so much younger than Miller or Mason or a dozen other new enlists who joined the Nathan James just before the trip to the Arctic. His air of uncertainty.

Or maybe Danny was simply unable to see his baby brother as anything else.

"The middle of a crisis is the worst time to make a decision, Chris. Wait until we've had time to spread the cure and deal with the Immunes." Danny remembered Kara's words from earlier. "New Orleans sounds like it escaped pretty unscathed. I bet that once we're there things will get back to normal before you know it."

"Uh-huh. I'm sure we'll be sending men to Mars next year," Chris snapped.

Unimpressed with his brother's attitude, but not wanting to get into it in public, Danny changed the topic. "We have a couple other kids your age on board. I would be happy to introduce you."

Chris shrugged. "If you want."

"Let's go."

Ten minutes later, having run into Bertrise and convinced her to join them, Danny knocked on the cabin door. After some discussion, a few of the more senior enlisted had been moved into officer's quarters so the group of kids could bunk together. Although putting that many people in a cabin was a tight fit, the group had not wanted to be separated. Knocking on the door, Danny nodded to Teylor, who was seated on one of the lower bunks reading a book to some of the younger kids. With a pang, Danny remembered that Teylor had several young nieces and nephews.

"Do other people have their families here?" Ray asked once the introductions are done.

Danny exchanged glances with Teylor. He hadn't considered how these children - presumably orphans - would take meeting his brother. "No. Most of the crew with surviving family left the ship back in Norfolk."

Ray gave Chris a challenging look."So why are you here then?"

"We have been helping Doctor Scott with her research," Betrise offered, her voice melodic and calming.

One of the little girls, Evie, sat up. "How are you helping Doctor Scott? Can we help too?"

Chris glanced at Danny, his reluctance to answer the question obvious. Danny gave the child his most charming smile. "Sorry girls. Bertrise and Chris have something special in their blood that Doctor Scott needs. But I bet she would be happy to have dinner with all of you one night and tell you about her monkey."

"Really?" Evie sounded awe-stricken.

"Sure," Danny replied, forcing himself to sound enthusiastic, wondering what it would cost him to convince Rachel to take a night off to hang out with a couple of pre-teens.

"You're immune," Colin interjected, his comment directed at Chris, his stance tense. "Like the guys who killed Cody. That's why you're on the ship."

In an instant, the temperature in the room cooled noticeably, the younger children retreating to their cots, staring at Chris and Bertrise with wide eyes. Chris's chin shot up. "We had nothing to do with Cody dying. Bertrise is the reason that Doctor Scott found the cure to the virus. So you should be thanking her."

"What about you?" Colin demanded. "Why are you here if that doctor already found the cure?"

"Colin, cool it," Ray began, but Colin was having none of it.

"No, man, I want to know why I should trust him. Those Immunes killed Cody. How do we know this guy's not going to kill us?"

"You guys know about antibiotics?" Teylor spoke up, drawing a round of nods from the group. "It's like that. What if there was only one kind of antibiotics? How do you think that would work? Not well, right, because some people would be allergic to it. And some people would need a stronger version. And you'd want a back-up just in case the first dose didn't work." Another round of nods. "That's what Doctor Scott is doing, and what Chris and Bertrise are helping with. Right now she's trying to make a version of the vaccine that doesn't require a shot."

"No shot?" Natalie asked, her eyes wide.

"Nope, no shot," Teylor responded solemnly.

"That would be awesome!" Natalie bubbled. "I hate shots."

Colin stood still for a few more seconds, before returning his focus to Chris. "So what do you do on this tin-can for fun anyway?"

"Well, the lounge has a pretty kickass game system," Chris replied. "Want to check it out?"

As the group moved down the pathway towards the crew lounge, Teylor and Danny exchanged glances. The disagreement was over for now, but neither man was fooled. Colin wouldn't be the last person to react that way. The pandemic had caused rifts that were only now coming to light - immune versus non, those with surviving family versus those without, those who were in the epicenter versus those who had the good fortunate to be far away.

Saving their country was going to take more than locating the cure. It was going to take a leader. And Danny had no idea whether Michener was up for the job.


	36. The future is unpredictable

_A/N - I understand that notifications were not working so if you missed last week's update, I suggest you check out the last chapter before reading this one. Thank you all for the lovely reviews! I am happy to be back. :)_

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 _Ch. 36 - "I figured something out. The future is unpredictable." ― John Green, An Abundance of Katherines_

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Kara was not amused. In general, she had no problem with Caroline Green. The woman was blunt and sarcastic, but Caroline saved the worst of her mockery for Danny (or Teylor) and so long as she avoided controversial topics like the Navy or whales or the morality of eating meat, Kara actually found their conversations enjoyable. And while there were a number of sailors on the Nathan James - including Carlton, the big baby - who openly avoided her, Caroline had never given Kara any reason to dislike her.

Until now.

Because standing outside CIC demanding to see Kara _immediately_ and harassing Kara's team for refusing to admit her was simply not acceptable. Especially since Captain Chandler, Danny, and the rest of the TAC team was currently off-ship looking for a safe spot to deposit Ray and his band of kids, leaving the Nathan James short-handed and making this a rather piss-poor time for Kara to take a break. Keeping her temper on a short leash, Kara turned to Kirkland. "You're in charge. I will be back as soon as I deal with Ms. Green."

Exiting the command center, Kara immediately scowled at the woman. "This better be good. We're in the middle of an operation."

Caroline looked like she was about to argue, then changed her mind. "It's Rachel. I know that Danny think that I'm being paranoid but I know that something is wrong. Please come see her. You're her friend. Maybe she'll talk to you about what's going on."

The word "no" was on the tip of Kara's tongue but something about the way that Caroline was twisting her hands, the slight panic in her voice, made Kara hesitate. While Caroline did seem to distrust the Navy on principle, she wasn't the paranoid sort - her complaints at least had a basis in reality. And Rachel _had_ been different recently, spending all of her time working on the nebulized cure, barely eating or sleeping and avoiding any social gathering. Kara knew that people reacted to loss differently - she had certainly seen that first-hand over the past four months - but perhaps Rachel's retreat was not entirely related to her grief over Doctor Hunter's death or the destruction of the labs. If nothing else, Caroline's concerns warranted a visit. "Okay. I'll come by. But only for a minute. We have people on the ground right now. I need to be here in case they need support."

"Thank you." Caroline's shoulders drooped, her relief obvious.

Popping back into CIC, Kara alerted Commander Slattery that she was headed to the helicopter bay to check on an issue with Doctor Scott. Although not one of Kara's usual duties, the XO didn't question her, probably already aware of Caroline Green's presence outside of CIC and assuming that the two were related. There was little that escaped the XO's attention.

The brief walk to the helo bay was silent, Kara too caught up in her own concerns to make chit-chat. There was no reason to think that Cobra Team was in any danger, but Kara hadn't been able to shake a vague sense of unease. Of course, that didn't mean much. Nowadays she felt that way every time Danny left the ship. Glancing sideways at Caroline, she noticed the woman was grinning, a complete change from her demeanor outside CIC. Kara viewed the other woman warily. "Why are you smiling?"

Caroline gestured towards Kara's midsection. "You're holding your stomach."

Glancing down, Kara was surprised to see that Caroline was correct. She felt another of the fluttery motions that had begun only days earlier, so soft that at first Kara thought it was simply a new form of morning sickness. The confirmation that her baby, that little piece of her and Danny, was alive and well drew a smile from Kara. Her voice softening, Kara explained. "She's moving a lot these days."

"She?"

Kara shrugged. "Just a feeling. Really I have no idea."

"I figured that Danny would want a boy. A son to carry on the name and all of that," Caroline replied, her voice rather neutral.

Oddly, Kara realized that it was something that she and Danny had never talked about. Before Baltimore there had never been time and afterwards, well, then they had just been hoping that there was a baby at all. Still, it was one of those normal couple conversations that she and Danny had never had, another reminder of how abnormal everything about their relationship was. Turning the last corner before the helicopter bay, Kara focused her attention back on the issue at hand. She trailed Caroline through the door, somewhat surprised to see that the chamber appeared almost empty. Recently the lab had been busting at the seams with Doctor Milowsky and Caroline assisting Rachel with her research while Bertrise continued to produce vials of the cure, Chris usually hanging around to "help" her.

"Rachel?"

The woman started, immediately closing the computer screen she was studying, almost as though she were hiding something. "Kara. What are you doing here?"

No wonder Caroline was worried. Kara had never seen Rachel so jumpy. "I was passing by and thought I would stop for a minute. We haven't really spoken since Florida and I wanted to check to see how you were doing. I know how much Doctor Hunter meant to you."

"Yes, well, we have all lost people." Rachel paused, eyes going to the small framed picture on her desk. A moment passed before Rachel looked up again. "Did you still need something?"

Whatever Kara was expecting, it wasn't Rachel turning back to her work, dismissing Kara out of hand the way she used to do back in the Arctic. Back before they were friends. Before they went through so much together. _Before Baltimore._ At a loss, Kara said the first thing that popped into her head. "Where is Doctor Milowsky?"

"I asked him to take the morning off. The noise from all of the equipment was making it difficult to concentrate," Rachel explained airily.

Another surprise. The idea that Rachel would suggest Milowsky take a day off when they were pushing so hard to have the new vaccine ready before New Orleans didn't make sense. Kara's eyes slid to Caroline. Was that completely out-of-character behavior what had prompted her visit to CIC or was there more? Kara made sure to keep her voice light. "Perhaps a break would help. Maybe today is one of those times when you could use some tea and a girlfriend."

Rachel hesitated, but her voice was firm when she replied. "While I always enjoy our time together, Kara, Niels will be arriving any minute. I need to focus on our research."

Kara frowned. In addition to being jumpy, Rachel's hand was shaking as she reached for her mug. Since when did Rachel drink coffee? And when was the last time she slept? "Are you sure that you are feeling okay, Rachel? You don't look well."

"And since when are you qualified to make that decision, Lieutenant?" Rachel snapped, spinning around to face Kara. "Now I really must insist that you and Ms. Green leave. My work is far too important to be delayed by chit-chat!"

It took Kara a moment to find her voice, shocked as she was at Rachel's harsh tone. Her first instinct was to retreat, to accept Rachel's dismissal and leave her to her work, but that was a path that Kara had taken for too many years. She was no longer a child scared of losing the only parent she had. She wasn't even the woman she was in Gitmo, accepting Danny's rejection as no more than her due, her punishment for breaking the rules. Rachel was lashing out at everyone around her, like Danny did at Gitmo, like Kara did after Baltimore, and Kara knew with one hundred percent certainty that leaving would be the wrong thing to do. What Rachel needed right now was a friend. One who couldn't be chased off.

"No. It's clear that you are upset and this is not the time to meet with Niels." Picking up the phone, Kara connected to CIC. "Please inform the men guarding Sorensen that Doctor Scott's not feeling well and won't be able to meet with him today."

"Yes, ma'am. Do you want me to recall Doc Rios?" Kirkland asked, making the obvious assumption that Rachel was at death's door if she was willing to pause in her work.

"I have things under control at the moment," Kara quickly answered. Timothy was with the Captain, inoculating the survivors in the safe zone that they were visiting. If they contacted him, Captain Chandler would immediately know that something was amiss, giving Kara no opportunity to talk to Rachel. "I will let you know if the situation changes."

Having handled the practicalities and advised Kirkland what she was up to, Kara hung up. Turning to Rachel she forced a smile. "How about that cup of tea now?"

But Rachel was having none of it. Hands on hips, she stormed across the helicopter bay. "You don't know what you've done. There's no time, Kara! Every minute that we wait there are more people out there dying. This is the _only_ way to get the information that I need. Don't you understand that?"

"What I understand is that you are the only person alive who can beat this thing and you can't do that if you don't take care of yourself. A hour break to get something to eat," Kara looked Rachel up and down, "and maybe take a nap and a shower, isn't going to make a difference."

"There's nothing else I can do, Kara." Rachel threw up her hands. "Why can't you understand that? Niels is the only one who can help now."

"He doesn't have the answer either!" Caroline interjected, rather to Kara's dismay. She would have preferred that the woman remain quiet given her tendency to say the absolutely wrong thing. "The man is stringing you along! He's not telling you anything new."

Rachel's eyes flashed. "Don't you think that I know that? I tricked Niels into confirming my theory on the mussels, just like I got him to admit the stabilization sequence. And I'll get the rest of what I need from him as soon as the two of your leave!"

Kara frowned, picking up on something that she had missed previously. "Why don't you want Caroline here when you talk to with Niels?"

"Niels prefers to work along," Rachel offered, her voice suddenly far less forceful, her eyes again darting to the small cooler sitting on her desk.

"See what I mean?" Caroline hissed. "He's manipulating her! It's classic brainwashing! He gets her alone. Strings her along. Convinces her that he's the only one who can give her the information that she needs until he he had her dancing on his string! Hell, it's probably all an Immune plan. Can you imagine what a coup it would be for them to tell the world that the woman who discovered the cure had joined them?"

Kara spared a moment to look at Rachel, who was clearly beyond furious at the suggestion that there might be any circumstances under which she would join with the men who took out the labs. "Um, Caroline, it may be better if you let me talk to Rachel..."

"And what is in that cooler you keep looking at?" Caroline demanded, storming across the chamber to open it despite protests from both Rachel and Kara - who had a strong enough sense of self-preservation to not go poking around Rachel's lab. "What the hell is this?"

As Caroline pulled out an IV bag, Rachel's face went white, and then red. However, her voice was calm when she spoke. "It's an extra IV bag for Niels."

"Unlabeled?" Caro demanded. She turned on Kara. "Is that _standard practice_ here on the ship? Because where I come from that would be a really big goof."

"No," Kara replied carefully, glancing between the two women. "We always label the bags. It's grounds for getting written up."

"What is this really, Rachel?" Caroline demanded, shaking the bag.

Rachel reached for it, eyes wide. " _Please_ be careful..."

Darting away, Caroline stuck the bag behind her back. "Why? What's in it? What are you doing?"

"Enough." Kara stepped between the two, suspecting that Caroline was about ten seconds away from getting punched. "Rachel, please tell us what is going on. We just want to help."

For a long moment Kara thought that Rachel wasn't going to answer, then she collapsed into her chair, eyes turning towards the picture of Doctor Hunter once again. "I've done everything I can, but it's not enough. I need that biopsy, but Niels continues to refuse."

"But didn't you just say that you have the stabilization sequence?" Kara asked uncertainly. "Why do you need the biopsy?"

"Because she's not talking about the nebulized cure," Caroline explained, and Kara noticed that she was bent over Rachel's laptop, having found the data that Rachel was examining earlier. Caroline straightened. "This is brilliant, Rachel."

Kara was baffled by the sudden turn in the conversation. "What?"

Caroline's voice was awed. "She's going to make the cure contagious."

 _"What?"_

Rachel smiled faintly. "Think about how Niels spread the virus, Kara. All he had to do was breathe. Now imagine if we could make all of us contagious, just like Niels, but with the cure. No needles, no containers, no infrastructure, just one person infecting another. We could cure the world within months."

A sick feeling rose in Kara. "So, what, you were going to knock him out and take out part of his lung?"

"No." Caroline's voice was barely a whisper. "She was going to kill him."

"Caroline, that's absurd..."

"He deserves to die! The man killed _five_ _billion people_. And now he's claiming that a minor operations is too risky? A procedure that could be used to save the remainder of the human race?" Rachel laughed, her voice almost hysterical. "Watching him die will be a pleasure."

Kara gasped, staring at Rachel. "You don't mean that."

"Oh, but I do. Watching the virus do to him what it did to so many, watching his last, noxious breath leave his body," Rachel paused, her hands balling into fists. "The only guilt I feel is for making it too easy. And, now, for involving the two of you. I didn't want to get blood on anyone else's hands."

Dumbstruck, Kara couldn't think of a single thing to say. This wasn't Rachel. This wasn't the woman she had grown to know over the past few months, the woman that would walk through hell to figure out a way to save humankind. Was she really capable of taking one in cold blood?

Caroline had no such problem. "No matter what he's done, no matter how much he deserved it, it isn't worth it."

"And who are you to tell me what is worth it?" Rachel retorted, her laughter almost cackling. "Men like Niels have no conscious. No moral compass. All they care about is themselves. Do you know that he still claims that it wasn't his fault? That if had just gotten the support he needed that his _experiment_ would have worked?"

 _Her father_. With a stroke of insight Kara understood that that this wasn't just about Niels or the virus or the cure. This was about a little girl who watched her mother die because her father refused to accept that he might not know best. Just like Niels, who was so confident that his vaccine would work that he injected himself with a vaccine that everyone around him knew was flawed.

 _And killed five billion people._

"I know because I've done it!" Silence descended on the room at Caroline's words. The woman crumpled into a chair. "Those guards who were holding Chris? I didn't put them to sleep. I told Dad that because I didn't want him to know what I really did. I gave them enough opioids to kill an elephant. On purpose. I didn't want them to wake up. I couldn't take the chance of them following us."

"You did what you had to do." Rachel responded, her voice flat. "Those people are monsters."

Caroline shook her head. "That's the thing. I _know_ that I did the right thing. And I thought I didn't care but..."

"But you can't stop seeing their faces," Kara finished.

"Yes." Tears rolled down Caroline's face. "I keep seeing their faces and wondering about them. Did they know what Hamada had planned? Did they have families that they were trying to protect? Or were they just guys sent out to a college to collect a kid? We've seen so many people forced to do things they never would have done before, simply to survive. How are we any different? We say that we're doing the right thing, but how do we know that? How do we know that in five years we won't find out that what we did was just as wrong - as evil?"

"I wonder about Hamada," Kara admitted. "Amy Granderson wasn't always a bad person. A little self-centered, maybe, but not evil. Maybe Hamada wasn't either. Maybe he could have been saved, somehow. Firing a missile is easy. You never have to see the damage first-hand, just a video on a computer screen. But killing someone by hand. It's awful. I don't know how Danny lives with it."

Caroline turned to Rachel. "And that's why you can't kill Niels. I know that you _think_ it will help but it won't. Even if you get the lung samples, have you thought about what will happen afterwards? Do you really think that President Michener will turn a blind eye to you killing Sorenson? That he'll let you keep working on the cure?"

"Captain Chandler will..." Rachel began, but Kara interrupted.

"Follow orders. Captain Chandler will follow lawful orders given to him by the President," Kara explained quietly.

"And even if President Michener did let you keep working," Caroline interjected, "what will people think about using the contagious cure, knowing that it was created through murder? That it violates every principle of medical ethics?"

Rachel paused, and Kara took advantage of the silence. "Please, Rachel, think about what you are suggesting. Killing Niels in cold blood. That's not who you are."

"We have the nebulized cure," Caroline inserted. "A cure that _you_ made without compromising your beliefs, Rachel. Yes, maybe it will take longer, but it will work. And you never have to see Niels again."

"You know, your idea might still work." Both Caroline and Rachel's attention swung to Kara. "We can trick Niels into giving you the lung samples. Think. What does Niels want more than anything?"

"To see Rachel." There was a _duh_ tone to Caroline's voice that Kara ignored.

"So you don't see him until he agrees to the biopsy. It maybe take a while, but Niels will get sick of talking to Walker and Johnson and agree eventually. And nothing says we can't lie to prisoners. So even if you agree to see him after the surgery, nobody will make you do it. In the meantime you can focus on production of the vaccine powder."

Rachel considered the idea. "That might just work."

"You have to tell Captain Chandler about this," Kara said softly. "Not all of it, but what you thought about doing. He needs to know how far Niels and Michener are pushing you."

The two women locked eyes, both remembering a different conversation not so long ago, back when Kara was the one with a secret.

Finally, Rachel nodded. "I'll talk to him when he returns."

Relief flooded Kara as she read the sincerity on Rachel's face. "Good, now I think it's time for that tea."

Twenty minutes later, convinced that Rachel was not going to change her mind the moment she left, Kara headed back towards CIC. But she was only a few steps down the pathway when Caroline caught her. Confirming that they were out of range from the guard, Caroline turned to Kara. "Are you going to tell anyone about, well, what I said?"

"No." The relief on Caroline's face was absolute - until Kara continued. "But I think you should talk to your family. It was self-defense Caroline. Those men kidnapped you. Whether or not they had reasons for what they did, you shouldn't feel guilty for doing what you needed to do. No jury in the world would convict you on those grounds."

Caroline hesitated, as though considering the words, before shaking her head. "I can't. I'm a nurse. I'm supposed to help people. I can't tell them that I killed people."

"Well, if you ever want to talk, let me know."

Caroline glanced away. "I should get back."

Kara watched Caroline disappear back into the lab, her mind spinning. Ignoring her aching back, she headed down the pathway again. She had a report to make to the XO, and even with ninety-nine percent of the details removed, nobody was going to like what she had to say.


	37. It is not fair to ask of others what you

_Ch. 37 - "It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself." - Eleanor Roosevelt_

 _x_

Flea groaned as the rhib went over another wave. "My ribs, man!"

Danny fought the urge to smack the man upside the head. _Flea._ The name was ridiculous, although fitting. The man really was as worthless, the only reason he was even on this rhib because the one thing that Danny did believe was that Flea would do whatever he needed to do to save his own skin. Which, in this case, meant warning Danny if the Immunes sent out a signal on the Deadman communication system about the Nathan James' approach.

"Your ribs will feel a hell of a lot worse if you're lying to us," Tex responded without an ounce of sympathy.

"I'm telling you, man, there's nothing here," Flea babbled.

Not that anyone was paying attention to Flea, their focus on the armada that was just now appearing through the darkness. Danny and Rick continued scanning the boats, while Tex leaned over to check the CDC box they were carrying, the one filled with the first doses of the nebulized cure. Rachel, along with Doctor Milowsky, Caroline and Bertrise, had spent every spare moment of the last two days stockpiling the powder. Well, every spare moment that hadn't been taken up by the investigation into Niels.

Danny still wasn't sure what had happened while he, along with the rest of the TAC team, Captain Chandler, Doc Rios, and Ray and the kids, were visiting that safe zone in Alabama. What he did know was that they returned to a ship on edge - and nobody was talking about it. Kara had flat out told him that it was need-to-know and she couldn't say anything, something that he was reluctantly forced to accept. Caro, on the other hand, had simply avoided him for the past forty-eight hours, hunkering down in her cabin, effectively confirming that not only did she know more than she was letting on, but also that, whatever it was, she didn't want to tell Danny.

Presumably because it was bad.

And because she didn't think he would take it well.

According to Wright, there had been a rather loud conversation between the Captain and Doctor Scott in the wardroom late on the evening of the incident, one that might have involved glasses being smashed, but without independent corroboration, nobody knew whether to believe Wright's story. One thing that was clear was that Niels must have done _something_. All visits between Niels and Rachel had been suspended, and Niels had been confined to his quarters with no visitors permitted.

In retrospect, Danny rather wondered whether he and Tex should have put a bullet through the guy's head back in Florida and spared everyone the misery of figuring out what to do with him.

At first Michener had protested Niels' isolation, arguing that he could be useful to the cure effort, but Michener's protests quickly died when Rachel produced the new version of the cure without any help from that slimy arsehole, as evidenced by the doses of the powder that they were carrying. The original plan had been to spread the powder via helicopter to the boats below, but Rachel was concerned that the area was too large, with too great a chance of people not receiving enough powder to be completely immune. Instead she had managed to rig an inhaler to provide the appropriate dose, giving them strict directions on sterilization and use. Not that Danny figured anyone would complain about reusing an inhaler when it meant being protected from the deadliest virus known to man.

Flea's nasally voice interrupted Danny's scattered thoughts. "Oh wait, there's something coming through."

Tex leaned over Flea, reading the small text out-loud. "They're here."

He and Danny exchanged glances. Looks like the sub had figured out where they were going. "Nathan James, this is Cobra Team. Recommend all stop. We just intercepted a signal. I say again, I recommend you do not proceed inshore at this time. They know that we're here."

Silence descended as the rhib floated on the water, waiting for instructions. Danny was just turning towards Miller when the explosion threw them all backwards. "Miller! Ship now!"

Those were standing orders. In case of an attack, return to the ship and regroup. But before Miller could move, Danny realized that the explosions that he was looking at hadn't been aimed at the rhib or the Nathan James.

 _They were coming from New Orleans._

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"General Quarters, General Quarters. All hands, man your battle stations!"

Alarms were screaming as Kara flung herself down the ladder towards CIC. She was on the bridge when the explosion happened, coordinating the rhib's approach and watching, like everyone else, hoping and praying for a safe approach. They had expected the Immunes to try something, but not this. Not destroying a floating safe zone. And, even worse, the submarine was sitting under the city, giving the Nathan James no way to take them out without killing anyone who survived the destruction of the safe zone.

Leaving them sitting ducks for the torpedoes even now heading for them.

Captain Chandler was issuing orders as Kara relieved Kirkland. "Ready to 5-inch, CIWS, all crew-served weapons and port-side chaff. We'll give them a full broadside."

"Aye, sir."

Mason glanced up. "First torpedo, 200 yards, ma'am. Thirty seconds to impact."

Kara rested a hand on his shoulder to reassure him, bracing herself as the ship turned sharply to port. "Surface action to port, fire ten rounds at two miles. All weapons and chaff at 1-9-5. Fire! Fire!"

Every eye was glued on their screens as they watched the fish take the bait. Long seconds later Captain Chandler spoke. "It's working. TAO, hold your fire."

"Holding fire, aye. Countermeasures successful. No damage." She smiled at her team, a collective breath of relief passing over them.

Then Mason's head jerked up, his voice panicked. "The last torpedo has reacquired! Brace for impact, port side!"

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"Those motherfuckers!" Tex slammed his fist into the console.

The fires, the screams, the horror - it was all coming from the floating safe zone here in New Orleans. Or rather, what had been a floating safe zone. Every from this distance Danny could see the broken hulls of boats, the people splashing in the water among the flames and debris. This was a floating city, full of civilians, full of survivors, _full of children_. What kind of monster would do this?

Then another explosion rent the air, this one behind them, coming from the Nathan James. Fear washed through Danny. Everyone he loved - _Kara, the baby, his father, sister, brother_ \- was on that ship. His hand was on the com before he had a single conscious thought. "Nathan James, do you copy?"

"What's your status, Cobra Team?" The XO sounded calm, collected despite the alarms in the background.

Danny's heartrate slowed and he managed to keep his voice even. The Nathan James was built to withstand far more than a single missile. _Unlike the recreational boats before them._ "Sir, I have eyes on sinking vessels. Civilians in the water. Request permission to stay back and render aid to survivors."

"Do what you can. But be advised, hostiles are still in the water. We cannot provide support." The XO's last statement was telling. No assistance meant that the ship was damaged. But no matter how much Danny wanted to know that Kara was okay, that wasn't an option.

The Nathan James was still afloat and the boats in front of him were not.

"Copy that, sir. We'll watch our own backs." With a nod to Miller, they were moving again, away from Kara, from his family, towards the people struggling to get out of the water. He kicked at Flea. "You goddamned people!"

"I-I-I didn't know! I swear, man. I had no idea."

Tex set a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Ignore that rat. He'll get his later."

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Struggling to her feet, ears buzzing, Kara found her hand moving automatically to her stomach. She felt a wave of nausea, most likely from her impact with the console. Either way, getting thrown across CIC couldn't have been good for the baby. And what about the shock wave from the missile? Her heart racing, Kara tried to remember what Rachel had said about shock waves the last time they had a close call, back before Florida, but there was no time to think. Alarms were still blaring, indicating damage, and there could be more missiles inbound. Managing to get into her chair, making sure to fasten her belt, Kara's heart sank as she realized that all of the screens before her were blank.

Picking up the phone, she made the dreaded call. "Captain, we're blind here. Sonar's out."

"Roger. Contact engineering. Get them working on it." Captain Chandler's brusque response was followed by a click and Kara wondered how badly the ship was damaged to warrant that casual of a reaction to the news that they were currently sitting ducks. Not bad enough to sink, there was no abandon ship order, but not a quick repair job either. Looking at the dazed and scared faces around her, Kara realized that they were all looking to her. They were all waiting for her to tell them what to do. These were her people. She couldn't let them down.

"Sonar is out. Nishioka, take Wright and go to engineering. See if there is anyone available to help get it running. If not, join the repair team there."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Kirkland, head to the bridge. You can coordinate the rhib and helo from there." A quick nod and Kirkland was gone. Kara looked around, noticing the blood streaming down Will Mason's neck. "Mason, go get that head looked at."

Despite looking like he was going to protest, Will left quietly. Kara waited until he was gone. "As for the rest of you, let's see if we can get anything back up and running from here."

As everyone jumped to their tasks, Kara took a deep breath. Fishing her water bottle off the floor, Kara chugged several ounces. Chances were that the tightening she was feeling in her lower abdomen was nothing more than dehydration. Rachel kept warning her about that, telling her she wasn't drinking enough water. So tonight she would make a point of drinking more.

It simply couldn't be more than that.

It couldn't.

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"Got another one just to the right!" Tex called.

They were creeping through the water, using makeshift oars rather than the motor, the visibility nil between the smoke, the fires reflecting off the water, and the dark. It was only the calls from other boats doing the exact same thing that Danny, Tex and Rick were doing that told them they were not the only ones out here.

"Here! We're here!" A woman's voice, followed immediately by a cough. A figure appeared through the smoke, and then diverged, and Danny realized that it was a mother clutching a small child, who she passed to Danny first. As the woman clambered onto the boat, Danny held the small, shivering boy, his eyes wide and dazed as he stared at the stranger holding him. Grabbing a blanket, Danny stripped off the child's life-vest and wrapped the boy up before settling him next to his mother. She grabbed Danny's arm, nails digging in enough to make him wince. "My husband and daughter, they were on the other side of the boat. Have you found them?"

Danny covered her hand, noticing how chilled she was, reminding him that the two had been in the water for more than an hour. The time had flown. The first few passes there had been no problem locating survivors, the hardest part turning people away once the boat was full so they could bring them safely to shore. But with each minute that passed there were fewer and fewer people in the water, as those remaining tired and succumbed to injuries. They might be in the Gulf of Mexico, but the water wasn't what Danny would consider warm. Chances of finding this woman's family went down by the second.

"There are a lot of boats out here, ma'am. I'm sure someone has found them already, but we'll take a look."

Danny nodded towards Rick, who began maneuvering the boat through the water again, the wreckage of boats towering over them on all sides. Only days ago Danny had tried to imagine a life here with Kara and their baby. The three of them settling into one of these boats, living on the water, being a family.

Maybe there was a reason why he could never seem to get that picture to work.

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"Ma'am! You need to see this." Mason rushed back into CIC holding a cell phone, Caroline Green trailing after him with the bandages that he apparently hadn't waited for. Although the woman wasn't supposed to be here, there certainly wasn't anything to hide at the moment. Despite their efforts, every screen remained black.

Being so cut off was driving Kara crazy.

"What's going on?"

"Watch." Mason angled the phone so she could see as Caroline resumed bandaging his head. At first all Kara could see was black, then the Nathan James appeared. A man spoke. "What the hell is that? Hey, quick, grab the shot. It's a Navy ship, turning."

And then footage of the Nathan James firing at the missiles was followed by explosions around the video, as New Orleans went up in flames.

Kara stared at the phone blankly, before turning her gaze to Mason. "They made it look like we destroyed the safe zone. Who has seen this?"

"Everyone with a phone, probably as far north as the Mason-Dixon line, according to Lieutenant Granderson," Mason explained. "It's just appearing. Like an Amber Alert. They must have tapped into the emergency broadcast system. Captain thinks that the Ramseys are using this to turn people against us, so we have to stay on the run."

 _Which meant that Danny was out there trying to rescue people who might turn around and kill him._

"I need to be on the bridge. Mason, see what you can do here." Kara didn't wait for a response, heading out the door.

Caroline followed her. "Kara! Wait, please."

Slowing but not stopping, Kara glanced at her impatiently. "Now is not a good time."

"Rachel wanted me to check on you. See if you were doing okay. She's worried about the baby. Will said you took a tumble."

It was the only thing that was guaranteed to stop Kara. She glanced around to confirm that they were alone before speaking. "I ... fell when the missile hit. I'm having cramping but nothing too bad. Similar to what happened after ... Baltimore."

The concern on Caroline's face did nothing to reassure Kara. "Are you sure you don't have time to have Rachel take a look?"

Kara swallowed. This wasn't the first time she had been in this position. If she told Rachel about the cramping, she would want Kara off her feet. And while nothing Kara was doing in CIC was working at the moment, leaving meant there was one less set of hands on a ship that was already short-handed. She couldn't do that to her team. Not right now. Not when her absence might make the difference of life or death for all of them. That was why she stayed on the Nathan James, after all, when they left Baltimore. She didn't want to leave the crew - to leave her _friends_. She wanted to do what she could to help. Kara shook her head, her voice husky. "I can't."

But rather than the lecture that Kara was expecting, the one about putting her baby before her job, Caroline simply nodded. "Stay off your feet as much as you can and keep pushing the water. I'll tell Rachel that you will come see her when you can."

And with that, Caroline was off, leaving Kara without a goodbye. Leaning against the bulkhead, Kara drew long breaths, hand creeping once again towards her stomach. "Please, little one, I really need to know that you're okay."

Drawing in a deep breath, Kara waited for that faint, fluttery motion that she was beginning to feel regularly. The kind that would tell her that the baby was alive and kicking. The kind that she hadn't felt since they were on their approach to New Orleans, before the torpedo hit. The kind that she still wasn't feeling.

Swiping away a tear, Kara resumed her path towards the bridge. Right now she needed to focus on getting the ship running again.

She would deal with everything else later.

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Tex turned again, lining the small radio controller up as he faced west, but nothing happened. He glanced at Danny. "Are they sure that the signal is coming from land? It all seems the same."

Danny shrugged. "Granderson seemed sure and it's her job so..."

Both men stopped as the controller began to beep, the tone picking up pace as Tex turned towards the water. The air now mostly clear of smoke, they still couldn't see anything. "Mother, this is Cobra. Think we've found the source of that signal."

"Roger that Cobra Team. Render aid and then return to Mother."

It was Kara's voice, drawing a smile to Danny's face. It was only after he heard her speak that he realized how worried he had been. Knowing that she was going about her duties, that she and the baby were okay, was a hell of a relief. "Signal's coming from out to see. Approximately 28 degrees, 33 minutes north by 89 degrees, 22 minutes west. Nothing visual but could be an anchored ship."

"Roger that, Mother." Danny's lips curled at the final word, enjoying the way it sounded when he said it to Kara. "Just a few more wounded to look at, then we're off the beach."

 _And back where he belonged._


	38. To do nothing at all is the most difficu

_A/N - I have to admit that I was pretty bummed when the premiere date was postponed as TLS is (pretty obviously) my favorite summer show! But I was excited to see that the premiere date will be August 20th. At least they aren't going to make us wait until October, lol. Now if we could just get some promos to tide us over..._

 _Also, I posted the first chapter of a new story called Only Fools Rush In focusing on Carlton Burk and Ravit Bivas. So if you have any interest, check it out. :)_

 _x_

 _Ch. 38 -_ _"To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual."_ _― Oscar Wilde_

 _x_

Kara stood between Commander Slattery and President Michener as they studied the map before them, the one that showed the river system where the Nathan James was currently hiding. Or, at least, the most updated map that they had in their database. Unfortunately for their current predicament, the Mississippi delta was unpredictable, constantly shifting as the river carried sediment downstream. After nine months without any human management, there was no telling how much the system had changed, or how out-of-date their map might be. Still, without radar, it was their best option.

Kara put a hand on her back, wondering if she looked as hunched over as she felt. For hours now her back had been killing her, presumably the result of the fall she took the night before, combined with twenty-four hours without sleep. She really needed to go see Rachel, but with the sun rising, the darkness that they were using as a cloak was evaporating, leaving them far too exposed, and with little time to figure out what to do next.

"What's the status on sonar?" Captain Chandler asked.

"Sir, the torpedo blast ruptured several pipes in sonar's cooling skid. It's fixable, I think, but not quickly," Andrea explained, and the look on her face told Kara that "not quickly" could be measured in days rather than hours. At least this time, unlike after Gitmo, they weren't stuck in the middle of the ocean without engines or any means of making fresh water.

"Heading into open sea with no ears and no idea where that sub is prowling... that's suicide," Slattery protested.

"And now New Orleans is burning, and we can't do a damn thing about it." President Michener slammed a fist into the table. "What is the situation there?"

Captain Chandler didn't look up when he spoke, his voice too quiet, as though even he was tired of Michener's temper-tantrums, which had been going on throughout the night. As though they, not he, were the ones that told the Immunes about the safe zone here. As though they, not the Immunes, were the ones who destroyed the armada. As though this situation were in any way their fault. "Our team is doing everything they can to assist the survivors. Lieutenant Green reports that your emergency fire plan worked, sir. The fire squads extinguished the fire quickly, but the fire wasn't the primary problem. Both Green and Tex reported seeing shrapnel washed up on shore. The Immunes must have rigged the boats to explode from below. The sub must have used the explosions to slip by us into open water after launching their torpedoes. They could be anywhere."

"We should be sending more teams," Michener snapped, as though he hadn't heard a word that Captain Chandler said, drawing an exchange of glances between the CO and XO. _Impulsive_. Michener was the opposite of Captain Chandler, jumping to decisions and demanding action without considering the consequences.

"That could put those people in more danger, sir," Master Chief Jeter spoke quietly, calmly, the only person who seemed capable of getting through to their new President-in-Chief. "So long as we keep our distances, the Ramseys will remain focused on finding us and not interfere with the rescue operations. If he realizes that the Nathan James is sending teams to shore, he may target those teams, resulting in additional civilian casualties."

That was the party line, anyway, the official reason for their failure to render aid, the choice to withdraw and hide difficult for all of them. Left unspoken was the fact that with their safe zone and most of their supplies destroyed, these civilians were now at even greater risk of exposure to the virus. The Immunes didn't need to lift a finger to harm the survivors. They could simply sit back and wait for natural selection to do it for them.

"And we need the repair crews here," Captain Chandler added. "We aren't at full capacity as it is."

Ignoring the tension, Kara turned to Captain Chandler. "Sir, recommend using our helo to drop passive sonobuoys at both entry points to the canal. It will act as an early-warning system until we get sonar back up."

Captain Chandler nodded. "That'll buy us some time. First hit on the buoys, we go to quiet 2, hunt that sub."

"Sir!" Every head swiveled towards Gator as he marked a location on the map. "The UAV just located something. An oil rig at the coordinates that Cobra gave us. It must have a massive antenna. That could be how the Ramseys sent out the video."

"That has to be the source of the signal," Slattery noted. "We should send a team. Burk can..."

"No, I'll lead the team." Captain Chandler's voice brokered no argument. He looked at President Michener. "But first I need you to give a speech. We aren't going to destroy that antenna. We're going to use it."

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Kara stroked the top of Halsey's head as she sat in the helicopter bay, glad for the excuse to keep her hands busy while Rachel located her stethoscope. The dog rested his head in her lap, clearly relishing the attention after being cooped up in Danny's cabin all night. "I'm sorry to add to your workload right now. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

Rachel smiled, placing the cool stethoscope on Kara's small bump. "It is not a problem at all. In fact, it's a welcome distraction. Ah, there we are." There were several seconds of silence while Rachel studied her watch. "Heart rate is 144. Perfectly normal."

Kara stared at the other woman, stunned, realizing only now how much she was steeling herself to receive bad news. "Really? What about my back? And the cramping?"

"Those aren't uncommon symptoms, Kara, especially given the amount of stress you have been under," Rachel replied calmly. "You haven't had any bleeding, correct?"

"No, no bleeding." Kara felt dazed. She had been so certain that something was wrong. It was why she delayed seeing Rachel as long as possible, postponing this visit until she had no more excuses, terrified that she would have to look Danny in the eyes and tell him that the baby was gone.

 _Don't tell me that I need you. Because I have already proven that I will do whatever I need to do to protect this child whether you are around or not._

The words that she threw at Danny in Baltimore haunted her. Not only because of how unfair they were, how unjustified, but also because they were untrue. Because when forced to choose between what was best for the baby and what was best for the ship, Kara chose to put their child at risk in order to help her friends. "So everything's fine?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong, if I had my way you would be on bed-rest after that kind of fall," Rachel said, giving Kara a stern look. "But it's been fifteen hours, the fetus's heartbeat remains strong and you aren't having bleeding. If I had to guess, I would say that this child is just as tough as his or her parents. That said, I want you to be use common sense, Kara, and try not to push it."

"I'm relieved. Really. It's just..." Kara trailed off, searching for a way to explain. "I want to do everything I can to keep this baby safe, but I also want to stay useful. I didn't realize how difficult that choice would be sometimes."

"I understand the feeling." Rachel's mouth was tense as she put away her stethoscope. "Knowing that you could do more, but that you can't, is not an easy position to be in."

Kara could have kicked herself. Was it only two days ago that she was telling Rachel that she had to put herself first? That she wasn't responsible for what Niels did? That they would find a different way to spread the cure? "Oh, God. I'm sorry."

Rachel's lips quirked. "It's fine, Kara. Captain Chandler and I have spoken and reached an agreement about how my research will proceed. You and Ms. Green were quite correct in saying that I became too focused on gathering the information from Niels, rather than pursuing multiple paths. Spending time away from him has made me realize how ... toxic that the man is. And not simply because he is infected by the virus."

"How did Captain Chandler take it?" Kara asked hesitantly. Although she attempted to downplay Rachel's plan when speaking with Commander Slattery, the man _had_ been a cop. Kara left the meeting feeling as though she had been put through the wringer, without the XO so much as raising his voice. She could only imagine how Rachel's conversation with the Captain went.

"Not well, of course." Rachel pressed her lips together, glancing away before she gave Kara a tight smile. "Captain Chandler is a reasonable man, but he also feels very strongly about following rules. Something about maintaining order and discipline."

Kara barked a laugh. _That_ was certainly true. "He will get over it eventually. After all, you didn't actually break any rules. You can't be convinced for thinking about killing Niels. Otherwise we would all be in trouble."

"It was somewhat beyond a stray thought," Rachel replied somewhat absently, as though her mind were somewhere else, perhaps replaying a conversation. "Although I do believe that forgiveness will come more easily if I am able to develop the contagious cure. It is the victors who write history, after all."

Suspecting that Rachel was ready to drop the topic and not wanting to push her, Kara asked, "Have you made any progress?"

"I took a lung biopsy this morning," Rachel explained, her eyes turning towards several small containers sitting on the table by her laptop. "Once Niels understood that it would be the only opportunity he would have to speak with me, he agreed to a needle biopsy, although he continues to decline the surgical option. President Michener reluctantly agreed to authorize the procedure."

Kara was confused by Rachel's lack of a reaction. "That's great! Isn't it?"

That drew a sigh. "It is a significantly more difficult process to isolate the correct mutation in this manner. There is no way to know how many strains of the virus are contained in Niels' lungs, how large of an area each one inhabits, and whether it is one or more mutations that caused Niels to become permanently contagious. I am attempting to take biopsies from the sections in a systemic manner but without the entire organ, it is somewhat of a guessing game. And while I am working on this, people are dying."

"You're doing this the right way, Rachel. Maybe not the easiest or the fastest, but the right way." _And the way that would allow Rachel to live with herself, rather than being weighed down by her secret, one that would weigh her down, a wedge between her and the world._

Rachel smiled tentatively. "As are you, Kara. Your dedication to your shipmates is admirable. But you are now responsible for another life as well. Your shipmates will understand if there are times when you cannot put them first."

"Am I interrupting?" Captain Chandler was standing in the doorway, his eyes intense as he stared at Rachel, his manner leaving Kara with no doubt that her presence was neither wanted nor appreciated.

"No, sir, I was just leaving." Kara reached over to clasp Rachel's hand. "Thank you, Rachel. For everything."

Kara quickly departed, Halsey on her heels. As the door swung shut behind her, leaving the Captain and Doctor alone, Kara wondered what really happened between the two of them that night. Because she had worked with Captain Chandler for a long time - she had even been on the receiving end of Captain Chandler's displeasure - but she had never seen him look at anyone quite the way he was looking at Rachel.

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"You keep eyeballing my sidearm, I'm gonna poke your damn eyes out," Tex muttered and Danny held back a grin. Flea was getting on all of their nerves, although he had been damn helpful throughout the night. The guy might be an idiot to believe in the Ramseys' drivel, but he had seemed just as horrified by what happened in New Orleans as the rest of them. Before Danny could say anything, the cell phone he had confiscated from Flea in case he tried to contact the sub dinged. Pulling it free, Danny's grin quickly melted away as he caught sight of Sean Ramsey, motioning for Tex and Rick to watch.

 _"By now, many of you will have seen the horrible video captured by witnesses on the scene. The U.S. Navy ship that attacked New Orleans harbor was flying the American flag, but it doesn't represent you good people. That ship is a key part of a larger conspiracy to take over this country, and it won't be stopped until you are dead and a new world order is established. I know it's heartbreaking and difficult to believe. But soon, you will have more evidence of the U.S. Navy's role in creating the deadly virus."_

The same video as the night before, apparently being re-broadcast for those who might have missed it the first time around. How long would this go on? Glancing up, Danny realized that Flea was taking advantage of the team's distraction, dashing off down the beach. "Hey! Did you see that video before it cut out? Them guys is Navy. Them's the one that did it. They're the ones that blew up New Orleans. Check out their boat!"

In an instant, the plan was clear. Tex stepped forward, his ability to diffuse situations like this their best chance. "Hey, man, we're just trying to help. Navy had nothing to do with that attack. Just trying to help you people out."

But, for once, Tex's charm was getting them nowhere, these people too angry to listen to reason. They had spent the last nine months on these boats, hiding from the virus, only to be pulled into a war that they knew nothing about in a night of terror and destruction. Danny waved Rick towards the rhib. Moving backwards slowly, not wanting to spook anyone. Flea disappeared deeper onto the beach.

The self-appointed leader raised his weapon. "Stop right there!"

Tex glanced at Danny, his voice pitched low. "Green, fire in the air if you have to. None of these idiots need to die today."

There was no time to respond. At the first shot, Danny began firing into the sand, then the air. "Miller, let's go! I need cover! Mother, this is Cobra. Under fire from civilians. We're on the move. I say again, search and rescue aborted! We're on the move!"

"No ability to provide cover, Cobra." It was Kirkland's voice, rather than Kara's, and Danny found himself strangely relieved. By the time she found out what was happening, he would be back on the ship.

"Argh!" Tex collapsed into the waves, Danny catching him by the back of his vest and tossing him into the rhib before rolling over the edge himself. "Miller, go!"

Remaining low until they were well out of range of the beach, Danny looked to Tex. "Where are you hit?"

Tex scowled. "Can't believe those bastards shot me in the ass!"

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Kara stepped into CIC, where Commander Slattery, Andrea and President Michener were waiting. Not that there was much to see with most of their systems still down, but they had the information being relayed from the buoys up on the screen.

Andrea nodded towards Kara as she entered. "Sir, Vulture Team has hit open water. When they reach the oil rig, Walker will secure the rhib. Once aboard the oil platform, the snipes will secure the cap and ensure the soundness of the facility."

"The last thing the people of New Orleans need is the Navy causing a massive oil spill," President Michener muttered, drawing a scowl from Nishioka. Kara caught his eye, shaking her head slightly. With a flush, Carl resumed his prior position, staring at a blank screen as he waited for an update from Vulture.

Commander Slattery turned to Kirkland. "We lost visual on the rig?"

"Yes, sir. The UAV is en route back to ship to refuel," Kara replied crisply, stepping easily back into her role as TAO.

"And our radios?"

"HF should work. We'll be able to hear everything that happens on the oil rig," she confirmed.

"Now we just wait."

Five minutes passed, then ten. Without the computers running and information to share, the only sounds in CIC were the occasional click of a keyboard and the check-ins from Vulture and Cobra. Usually Slattery would have introduced some sort of small-talk in an effort to pass the time, but not today. Today there had already been too much death. And now there was too much riding on this mission, on their ability to convince people that the cure was real, and that it was the Ramseys, rather than the Navy, who was lying to them.

"What was that?" Kara asked, grabbing up one of the headphones while Andrea and Slattery grabbed their own sets at the unexpected noise.

"You hear that? Was that the sub?" Slattery demanded.

Kara felt her mouth go dry. "No, sir, it's coming from the rig. Sonobuoys are picking up an explosion."

"Get the helo up now!" Slattery demanded. "I want to know what is going on! Vulture, Cobra, report!"

Kara was in the middle of launching the UAV and the helo when Danny's voice came across the com. "Cobra team reporting. No contact, but we have a visual on the rig and what looks like flames."

Slattery didn't hesitate. "Cobra, approach and render assistance pronto."

"Roger that, Mother."

"Vulture team, report!"

As the silence stretched, the pit in Kara's stomach grew until she could barely force out the words she needed to launch the helo. An oil rig containing ten members of their crew - including her two closest friends - was going up in flames. She had no idea what had happened, if the damage was caused by the submarine or an accident, or what danger Danny was headed towards. Everyone that she loved, everyone that she cared about, was in danger.

And there was absolutely nothing that she could do to help.


	39. True goodbyes need not be said or explai

_A/N - I will be on vacation next week so next chapter will probably be in two weeks. Hope you enjoy!_

 _x_

 _Ch. 39 - True goodbyes need not be said or explained._

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Danny found Kara in the small storage room where they met up sometimes, her head buried in her arms, barely visible in the dim light. It was only once he knelt down next to her that he realized she was asleep, her body wedged into the seat of the snowmobile, looking about as comfortable as he imagined sleeping on a small, hard plastic chair while leaning on a steering wheel would be. Danny felt like he had been looking for her for hours, although he knew it couldn't have been more than thirty minutes. His sense of time was gone, hours of the day having passed in seconds, while minutes lasted an eternity.

 _Ten minutes to get to the rig, watching the flames grow and the smoke increase with every passing moment, knowing that the helicopter would never be able to land in those conditions._

 _Twenty minutes on the rig searching for survivors, then another five chasing after that damn idiot Valkyrie._

 _Another ten minutes loading the injured onto the rhib, listening to Alisha cry and Andy scream each time he was jostled until, mercifully, he passed out. At least Lynn was easy in that regard. No need to worry about neck braces or stretchers. DOA, he didn't care when Danny threw him over his shoulder and tossed his body into the corner of the rhib._

 _Then fifteen minutes heading back to the Nathan James, the helicopter giving them extra visibility and cover, but also extra vulnerability because it identified them as military. By then it was clear that Andy wasn't going to make it, his fall from the helopad of the rig causing massive internal injuries, the rhib not stocked with anything strong enough to dull his pain. Alisha had clutched his hand, her eyes haunted as she begged him to hold on for a few more minutes._

Seeing Kara in the helo deck turned trauma center when he finally came aboard the James was the only thing that gave Danny any comfort. He hadn't approached her, hadn't spoken to her as they both went about their duties. He had given his report to Commander Slattery, letting him know that they were forced to leave Lynn's body, while Kara assisted Doc Rios in trying to make Chung comfortable. Just knowing that she was there was enough.

When Rachel determined that Ravit needed immediate surgery, Carlton insisted on going despite his own injuries, and Danny couldn't let him stay alone. Not when he knew what it was like, being on the outside, wondering if you would ever see the woman that you loved alive again. As soon as he was done with reports and somewhat cleaned up, Danny made his way to the medical bay, where Carlton and Wolf were holding vigil. As the hours passed they were joined, first by Rick and then Tex and Teylor, and finally Captain Chandler, who was literally swaying on his feet. It was only when Captain Chandler mentioned a shift change that Danny realized it was night again.

An entire day lost to the fog and haze of war.

When the door finally opened and Rachel emerged, Danny held his breath, half expecting her to tell them that Ravit was gone, joining Walker and Lynn and Chung. For a few moments, the relief of learning that Ravit survived the surgery was overpowering, but then he was hit by reality. _Paralysis_. The word rolled around in his head over and over again. Ravit wouldn't be the first soldier Danny saw incur a serious injury. But given the state of the world, with no hospitals or rehab or even homes to return to, what did it mean for Ravit?

Then, before there was time to process what had happened, Rachel rushed back into the cabin with the news that Captain Chandler had collapsed, starting a new round of tension and waiting. At least the CO's surgery, to remove bits of metal that were impaled into his back under his vest, was shorter. But it was well into the middle of the night before Danny attempted to find his bunk.

And then, as though the day hadn't already contained every horror possible, Danny ran into Rios.

 _"Have you seen Lieutenant Foster tonight?"_

 _"Not recently," Danny admitted. Given the hour she was probably either asleep or back in CIC._

 _"Hopefully she's resting like I told her to. If you see her, make sure she's staying off her feet. Just as a precaution," Rios added, presumably seeing the concern cross Danny's face. "Nothing to worry about."_

So, of course, Danny had worried. First he checked her cabin, then CIC, then the wardroom and finally the lounge, but nobody had seen her. The decision to check the storage room wasn't intentional so much as another place to check off the list. Not wanting to wake her - she, like all of them, had been awake for more than twenty-four hours at this point - Danny found an empty spot in the limited space between the snowmobile and Frankie's skis. Why they hadn't dumped the snow gear in Norfolk was beyond him. Mostly lack of time. The priority had been on distributing the cure and loading supplies, not getting rid of equipment. The floor was cold and hard and uncomfortable but it was somewhere to sit, and that was what he needed right now. He couldn't be seen caring Kara through the ship. Even if it didn't violate every frat rule possible, it would spark gossip - and concern. And after today, nobody needed anything else to worry about.

He wasn't sure how long he sat, eyes growing accustomed to the darkness, half asleep himself, before Kara raised her head. "Danny?" She asked, her voice confused, before she seemed to realize where she was and what was happening. "Ravit?"

"She's alive." Danny's voice was gruff, but whether that was from the smoke on the rig or some other reason, he couldn't say. "She lost a kidney. Rachel thinks she might not walk again."

"It's so hard to think of her stuck in a chair for the rest of her life. Does she know?"

"I don't know. I don't think she's woken up yet." Guiltily, Danny realized that his focus had been on Carlton's reaction to the news, rather than Ravit herself. Realizing that she probably was unaware of what happened to Captain Chandler, he quickly filled her in before setting a hand on her knee. "Rios said to make sure you were off your feet. Said something about telling you to rest?"

Kara's back straightened, pulling away from him. "The baby's fine, Danny."

The instant withdrawal, the defensiveness - so similar to Baltimore - stung. "I trust you, Kara. I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt the baby."

"Sorry." Kara's voice cracked, and then she moved until she was seated next to him on the floor. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he realized that she was crying. "I was so scared - after the missile hit. I ..."

Danny slid his arm around her, pulling her closer. "Everything's okay though, right?"

Kara nodded, her head moving against his chest. "Yes. Rachel checked the baby and said she was good. She said the kid is tough, like us."

That drew a chuckle despite his tension. "Oh it's a girl now, is it?"

But Kara didn't take the bait. "Walker. Lynn. Chung. Ravit barely hanging on. Captain Chandler injured. New Orleans destroyed. What next, Danny?"

He could feel tears seeping into his shirt. "Same as always. We shoulder on. Because that's all we can do."

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"And that's the plan," Valkyrie (aka Valerie Green) finished. Danny leaned against the wall of the wardroom wondering how they could possibly be expected to trust this woman given that she was the reason that they were all here to begin with. Without her network, the Ramseys never would have been able to spread their false message and gain so many converts in a few short months.

"I will be personally inputting all data into the system to make sure there are no accidents," Alisha added coolly, the hard look on her face suggesting that Danny wasn't the only person questioning Valerie's trustworthiness.

Not that the plan itself was bad. It made sense. Convince the Ramseys that the Nathan James was north of the bay, directing traffic in that direction, allowing the ship to escape the river, and trapping the submarine in the bay. Of course, the fact that the Nathan James still had no working sonar and no means of detecting the submarine put their odds of success fairly low, but Commander Garnett's idea of tapping into the depth finder meant they wouldn't be completely blind.

Captain Chandler turned to President Michener. "Assuming you approve, sir, I will need you, as well as the medical personnel and civilians, to leave the ship. I have already spoken to Doctor Scott and she is currently packing up what supplies she needs. Slattery and his team will go with you to provide protection."

President Michener frowned. "You can't tell me it's safer on land than here. Not with roving immune armies and non-immunes conned by Ramsey."

Danny went cold as he realized what Captain Chandler was doing. Because Michener wasn't wrong. Being on land _wasn't_ safe, arguably was less safe than being on the Nathan James even in the middle of a dog-fight. But by splitting them up, creating two separate groups with the cure, Captain Chandler was preparing for the worst case scenario. A scenario in which only one group survived the day.

"Unfortunately, Mr. President, as of today, this ship has gone from being one of the safest places on earth to one of the most dangerous."

"What about the prisoner?" President Michener inquired. Tex kicked Danny, nodding towards the man. As usual, Michener seemed to show far too much interest in Niels.

"The two men we picked up in Alabama will go with you and Commander Slattery will release them when he deems doing so appropriate. We've gotten all we can from them anyway. But Niels will remain onboard," Captain Chandler said firmly. "We do not have the manpower to guard him and being contagious means he needs to remain separate from civilians at all costs."

Captain Chandler turned towards Kara. "Lieutenant Foster, I will need your team ready at a moment's notice. We may only have one chance at this, so we will need to make it count."

Kara didn't hesitate. "Understood, sir, we'll be ready."

"Green, let the rest of your team know that you'll be moving out in an hour. And inform your family and the kids of the plan."

"Yes, sir." He shot a look in Kara's direction, but she was focused on the map before her and not looking. He managed to stay calm when fielding the complaints from the teenagers about being kicked off the ship. He even convinced his sister that she would be in the way if she stayed. But by the time he arrived at Mark and Chris's cabin, Danny was grinding his teeth, his anger barely contained.

"I want a moment alone with your brother," Mark said when Danny finished explaining what was going on, Mark's voice deceptively calm. The principal voice, Danny and Caro used to call it, because it was the one Mark adopted when he was about lay down the law to unruly high school students - or his offspring.

"I'll, uh, go see if Ray and Colin need help with the kids," Chris mumbled, quickly disappearing from the cabin.

Mark gazed at Danny. "You seem pretty worked up over us leaving the ship. Or is the problem who _isn't_ leaving the ship?"

"She didn't even talk to me about it," Danny snapped, throwing his hands out and barely missing the top bunk in the small space. "Just started working on plans."

"Do you consult with her about your missions before leaving the ship?" Mark asked.

Danny scowled. "Of course not. That's my job."

"And, if I understand correctly, in order for Kara to do her job she needs to stay here. You and Kara both re-joined the Nathan James in Norfolk. Sounds to me that you were okay with her being on-board until now."

"It's different now," Danny argued. "She needs to do what's safest for the baby. And that means getting off the ship with us."

 _Where he could protect them. Because the last time that they were separated like this, everything went to hell._

"I realize that this isn't what you want to hear, Danny, but telling a woman that she can't do something because she's pregnant never goes over well," Mark observed. "Once the kid is here, you have an equal say in what is safe and not safe for your child but until then, you have to respect Kara's decision. She's the one who is pregnant. Not you."

"Fu...dge." Danny couldn't believe that he still found it awkward to swear in front of his father. "I know why she's staying. She knows that they have a better chance of taking out the sub with her here. She doesn't want to let them down."

Mark set a hand on Danny's arm. "I guarantee you that you aren't the only one worrying about that baby, Danny, or the only one feeling conflicted. Giving Kara a hard time about it isn't going to make this any easier. For either of you."

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Commander Slattery scowled at Danny. "Did you forget to tell Miss Green that we were leaving?"

 _Of course not._ A combination of fury and embarrassment filled Danny. Of everyone leaving, he - or maybe Carlton - had the most reason to stay. But they were both here, following orders like good soldier. Hell, even Rachel had conceded with relative grace, despite her ferocious protests to the Captain. But not Caro. Not his sister. Apparently she was above such mundane things as showing up on time.

"I, um, believe she may be the lab," Doctor Milowsky offered. Danny was almost amused by the sight of the confident scientist withering under the XO's blistering gaze.

"I'll find her, sir," Danny said, knowing that Slattery planned to send him anyway. And sure enough, just as Milowsky predicted, Caro was in Rachel's lab, bending over one of the machines. Seeing her standing there, so casually, was enough for his barely leashed temper to bubble over. "Did you forget to join us on deck?"

Caro didn't look up. "Rachel figured it out last night, how to make the cure contagious. She injected herself to test it. She cured the mice."

Danny blinked at the small, white rodents that were happily scurrying around their cage. He had expected Caro to come out swinging, not basically ignore him as she moved to another machine. "That's good, isn't it?"

Caro glanced at him. "Yes, except that it's not permanent, like with Niels. She will only remain contagious for a week, maybe ten days, and we only had time to make a few extra doses. The machines are too heavy to move. If the ship goes down..."

"We lose the ability to make more." It wasn't hard to see where Caro was going with this. "We can find more equipment. But if you don't get off this ship, we might lose you."

"That would not be much of a loss."

Danny could barely hear the words over the hum of the machines. He grabbed her arm, turning her around. "It would be for me."

Caro looked away for a moment, before meeting his eyes. "You don't know me anymore, Danny. You don't know what I've done. If you did, you wouldn't say that."

The look in Caro's eyes was a familiar one, but not a look that he ever imagined seeing on his sister, that of a soldier pushed too far, brittle to the point of breaking. _What had happened to her during those months when Danny was on the Nathan James?_ "We've all had to do things that we wish we hadn't, Caroline. I could say the same thing to you. Do you want to know how many people I've killed? Because I can say with absolute certainty that it's more than you."

"How do you live with it?" Her eyes were haunted. "How do you keep it together?"

"I focus on the good things. Kara. The baby. Dad. Chris. _You_." He let that settle in, trying to be patient as the minutes ticked by, knowing that Commander Slattery would not be happy about the additional delay.

"I don't know if I can do that," Caro whispered.

"You won't know unless you try."

Caro's eyes were squeezed shut. "At least here I'm doing something useful. But out there, I'm no different that anyone else. Just another mouth to feed."

 _God he didn't want to have this conversation. He wished Kara was here. She would know what to say, what to do. He was clueless, out of his depth, grasping at straws._

"Trust me, Caro, when I say that you are so much more." Danny tugged at her arm. "But now's not the time. Right now, it's time to go. Bring those doses with you if it makes you feel better. Who knows what we'll run into out there? Maybe we'll be able to use them."

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Danny stomped around the corner, stuffing the additional ammo into his bag. Despite managing to get Caro to the deck, Slattery remained annoyed with him, sending Danny on three more supply runs - a task that usually would have fallen to Miller or Cruz. The last thing he expected was to run into the very person he desperately wanted to see.

 _Kara_. "Lieutenant."

He hated the formality in his voice, but Kara didn't seem to notice. "Lieutenant." She hesitated. "You doing okay?"

 _Okay_. Such a simple word, but so much meaning. How could he be okay when the Nathan James was going after the submarine - and that the likelihood of everyone coming out safe and sound was slim to none? How could he be okay when he knew that Kara would be in the thick of the action, remaining at her post until the last possible second no matter how bad things got?

He forced himself to take a deep breath. "Good as I can be."

"Thank you."

Danny frowned. "For what?"

"For not asking me to leave," Kara explained, reaching up to smooth down his hair, smiling slightly. He wondered if she knew how much he wanted to ask her, no, _beg her_ to leave with them. To tell Captain Chandler that she was out. To stay with him, where he could make sure she and the baby were safe. But he hadn't, because he knew that his dad was right. Loving Kara meant respecting her choices, and this was her choice. "Stay safe out there, okay?"

As though he were the one at risk. As thought he wouldn't give the world for their positions to be reversed right now. He wasn't the most sensitive guy, he wasn't the smartest or the funniest. The one thing that Danny had going for him was that he could take care of her - and now he couldn't even do that. He couldn't think, he couldn't feel, operating on auto-pilot. "You too."

Kara nodded briskly before turning, continuing down to the pathway. But he couldn't let her go. Not like this. Not when this might be the last time he saw her. He needed her to know that he believed in her, no matter what.

"Kara!" She paused but didn't turn. "This sub... You've beaten them before. You'll sink it this time."

Kara turned, tears glittering in her eyes, and then she was standing before him, fist curled into his shirt. "Don't you dare make me raise this child by myself."

He blinked. "I'm not the one going after the submarine, Kara."

"But you will be out there with people trying to kill you. _Again_." Kara swallowed, here eyes pleading. "Promise me that you won't leave us alone."

"That will not happen. Okay?" Not taking the time to check for an audience, Danny cupped her neck, pressing a hard kiss on her lips, before dropping to his knees to press a kiss to her belly. Under his palm her belly wiggled, whether the baby moving or her stomach demanding food, Danny couldn't tell, but he found himself laughing as he looked up at her glowing face.

 _Knowing that, if everything went to hell, he would remember her exactly like this._


	40. If my life were a song it would probably

_Ch. 40 - "If my life were a song it would probably be titled 'Roller Coaster', up and down all the time." Scotty McCreery_

 _x_

They didn't see anyone during the forty minutes it took for the rhibs to reach the agreed upon destination. One that was far enough inland to be safe from the submarine, but sufficiently far enough away from suspected Immune territory (determined by large concentrations of people that the UVA picked up).

Danny was the first off the boats, followed quickly by Tex and the XO. Commander Slattery waited until everyone was on solid ground and the rhibs were out of the water before deliberately reaching down to turn off his comm. "Walkies are off. We do not, under any circumstances, make contact with the ship. We are officially dark till we hear from them that they've killed that sub."

 _Officially dark. No contact. No check-ins._

It was the agreed upon approach, the one that was the safest for both groups given the Immunes' ability to track their communications, but it also meant that they wouldn't know if something went wrong. Either they would hear from the ship in a couple of hours, telling them to return, or they would hear nothing. For hours, then for days. Nobody had discussed what would happen then. Probably because nobody wanted to ask the question.

 _At what point did they stop waiting?_

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 _She hated this._

Kara stared down at the blank screen of the computer, resisting the urge to tap her fingers. There was nothing to see, nothing to do but wait and listen. Captain Chandler had left the comm open from the bridge, in case they needed to deploy countermeasures with little notice, so Kara could hear Alisha issuing orders to change directions and Val relaying information on the civilian fleet, but it wasn't the same. Kara was used to being the first one to see possible threats. She was the person who notified others - not the other way around. Sitting here without any radar, waiting for someone else to tell her what to do, where to fire.

 _It was driving her crazy_.

There were still getting information from the sonobuoys, of course, but between the civilian traffic moving around and the fact that the submarine had gone quiet almost immediately after the explosion in New Orleans, they had absolutely no way of knowing where the Ramseys were and what they were facing.

The plan was to turn on the depthfinder once they reached open water. To locate the submarine and immediately fire. It was a plan that Captain Chandler, Commander Garnett, the Master Chief, and Kara had gone over time and time again, and Kara had then drilled into her team. But there were so many things that might go wrong. The depthfinder might not work - after all this wasn't what it was designed for and the current they would be pushing through it might fry the thing within seconds. The submarine might be out of range. They might not be able to locate the submarine before the depthfinder failed. Or, worse, the submarine might find them first, taking them out before they could fire a single shot.

There were a thousand things that might go wrong, and all Kara could do was sit here and hope that her first warning of an incoming missile wasn't the sound of groaning steel and the splash of water beneath her feet.

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Danny sidled up to Carlton, making certain that nobody else could overhear them. Not that anyone would be interested, Chris, Bertrise, Ray and the rest of the kids gathered around a handheld video device, while Rachel, Doctor Milowsky and Caro talked to Commander Slattery and President Michener, their conversation centered around the new version of the cure that Rachel planned to try at the earliest convenience. If they hadn't been stuck in a shitty cabin in the middle of the woods, Danny could have believed this was any day on the Nathan James. "How are you doing?"

"Civilians." Carlton snorted. "Instead of spreading the cure and saving lives, we're out here hiding from civilians who want to kill us."

Like the earlier conversation with Caro, Danny wished he was someone else, someone who was good at this emotional stuff. Sure he could give a pep-talk before a mission, but that wasn't the same as knowing how to inspire people the way that Captain Chandler did. Or knowing just what to say to make someone put aside their anger or grief like the Master Chief could. "Things weren't exactly peachy-keen here, Burk. These people are desperate. They were fed a story and they believed it. They'll figure out what's really going on soon enough when we show them that we really do have the cure."

"Ravit wasn't even awake yet, Green. What if she wakes up and there's nobody there or..." Carlton trailed off but Danny could guess the rest of the sentence. _What if she dies before I get back?_ It was always a risk, their job, but one that had never felt so real before. After all, what were they fighting for if they couldn't even keep the people at home safe?

"When I saw Kara through that hazmat tent, all I could think about was what I would do without her."

"Did you figure it out?"

"Nope. I couldn't imagine that world. I still can't." Danny stared out the window. "And I don't want to."

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"Stand by to go hot with the sonar." At Captain Chandler's words, Kara straightened, her entire team poised to jump into motion. "TAO. FIS green. Ready torpedoes. CIC, prepare to calculate a fire-control solution."

They were as ready as they were going to be. "TAO, aye."

"All engines stop. Now!" Captain Chandler called.

The machine before Kara sputtered to life, hundreds of small spots suddenly appearing, the way they were clustered making it clear these were small civilian vessels. Nothing else. Was the submarine hiding again, using the civilian boats as cover? If so, would they shoot? Or would they run?

"Mason?" she demanded.

"Ma'am, I've got nothing."

Kara swallowed. "Bridge, CIC, we do not have a target."

"Shut it down." Captain Chandler sounded frustrated. A minute passed, then another, as the ship slowed, drafting along with the engines idling in order to keep the submarine from finding them. They all knew that this couldn't last. As soon as they brought up the engines, the submarine would lock on and, even if they didn't, the civilians were certain to spot them eventually. "Sonar, you got one more in you?"

"Ready as we'll ever be, sir," came the response. Everyone knew how much they needed this to work.

Kara held her breath as the sonar came back to life, almost afraid to hope, and then alarms began blaring. "Contact!"

"Where?"

"He's right below us!" Kara stared at Mason, the situation too unbelievable to accept. Of all of the spots for the submarine to have chosen to wait, they were here, in the mouth of the tributary that the Nathan James was exiting.

But Captain Chandler didn't hesitate, as though he had always had a contingency plan for this type of totally-unheard-of situation. "Come to full power! We need room. All engines ahead, flank three!"

"They're accelerating," Mason said, although they could all track the small dot on the screen. Kara's finger hovered about the launch button, knowing that there was nothing she could do right now without blowing all of them to pieces.

"How long before they can dive?" Captain Chandler demanded.

"Two klicks to the trench, sir," Nishioka replied.

"On my mark, all back full! Prepare to fire!"

The desperation - and brilliance - of the plan hit Kara. They needed the submarine away from them, which meant letting it get away, but a full back might allow them to evade the submarine's fish. Assuming it worked. Assuming them could make it. Assuming...the damn sonar had stayed on.

"All engines back full! Fire torpedoes!"

Kara hit the button, staring at the blank screen before her, hoping, _praying_ that the torpedoes would find their mark or, at the very least, take out some of the incoming fish. "Captain, we're blind here. Sonar's out."

She took a look around the room. Her team sat shell-shocked, their focus on the submarine so absolute that the disappearance of their target left them off-balance. They had done everything that they could, and the fear was simply that it wasn't enough.

Captain Chandler didn't waste time discussing the now useless sonar. "He's probably launched on us. Launch acoustic decoys."

More buttons and the decoys were out, not that it would matter at this distance. They were too close. It would be too easy for the missiles to re-acquire.

"All hands, brace for shock!"

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"That child is sick." Rachel's exclamation drew everyone's attention, and Danny slid to the window, spotting the woman walking down the dirt road with a small child. A girl. Probably seven or either years old. Her shuffling feet and stooped shoulders confirming Rachel's diagnosis.

Slattery quickly stepped in front of the door as Rachel stood, slinging her backpack over a shoulder. "Stay put."

"You want me to stay put when you know very well that I can heal her?" Rachel demanded incredulously.

But Slattery was not swayed, his arms crossed over his chest in a manner that Danny knew well. One that meant that argument was futile. "Until this battle is over, we don't exist out here. Once the captain gives the all-clear, we can go after them if you want."

"By then they could be dead!" Rachel threw her arms up as she turned, appearing to have accepted the XO's orders but, as usual, failed to play by the rules, exiting through the side door before anyone realized what she was planning. Danny and Tex scrambled after her as Slattery swore. "Everyone else stay here!"

"Excuse me!" Rachel was waving at the a woman, ignoring the men behind her. "Excuse me! The girl is sick."

And that was when the situation turned dangerous, a man appearing from the bushes and putting himself in front of the woman and child, gun leveled directly at Rachel. "Not another step, or I'll shoot!"

"Doc..." Tex was trying to get himself in front of her but Rachel hadn't stopped, continuing her path to the child. Tex glanced back to Danny, who nodded. At the first sign that the man planned to fire, they would take him out, notwithstanding Michener's order that no civilians be hurt. The man simply didn't understand war.

 _Sometimes civilian casualties were unavoidable._

"The girl is sick. You all are," Rachel was still walking forward. "We have the cure. I can help you."

"Don't lie to me! I know what you are!" The man's hands were shaking as he tried to move the woman and child towards the cover of the woods. "Y'all stay back! We don't want no trouble!"

"I've got the shot," Burk murmured, his tone harsh, unheard of for the even-keeled man. Danny gave Tex an uneasy glance. He had never seen Burk this way. So...unpredictable. He edged closer to the man in case he needed to intervene.

Slattery shook his head firmly. "We're not shooting civilians."

"I'm not lying to you." Rachel took another step forward, her arms outstretched, gaining on the family. "I have the cure to the Red Flu here. I'm going to treat the child. If you want to stop me, you're gonna have to shoot me. All right?"

Just when Danny thought there was no way around the impasse, the sick woman stepped around the man. "Lower it, Mase! If these people can help, well, let them."

Dropping to her knees, Rachel checked the little girl's throat and forehead before reaching into her backpack to pull out a small, clear container filed with a brown powder. There was silence as Rachel measured out a small amount of the powder, dumping it into her canteen and shaking it thoroughly. "Drink, all of you."

Noticing the family's hesitation, Tex took a swig. He coughed. "Tastes like sh...mud, but it'll cure you. I should know. Doc here cured me and I was sick as a dog."

Rachel took the opportunity to check both adults while the little girl drank, the man going so far as to set his gun to the side. Danny leaned towards Tex. "What's the powder?"

"Beats me. Tastes like ground up MREs," Tex muttered.

"Guess just breathing on them would have made us look like quacks," Danny replied, equally softly. He wondered how long it would take before they knew whether the new cure worked.

Once the canteen was drained and Rachel was done examining the trio, the man spoke again. "I'm Mase, this is my wife Gin and our girl Lottie. Sorry we came at you like that. We thought you was immunes the way you came at us, no one wearing any masks."

"Hell, no. Murderous arseholders." This time Tex didn't bother lowering his voice.

Mase nodded. "They was the ones gave us the sickness. Wrapped my daughter up in one of they infected blankets. First sign of the fever, they kicked us out. We found a car, but it died on the road a few miles north of here."

Rachel's jaw was tight as she stood, another example of the Immunes' inhumanity obviously infuriating her. Commander Slattery passed over a blanket for Lottie. "Lieutenant Green, bring these people some MREs and water, please."

As Danny was just returning from the cabin when he heard Gin ask. "Y'all with the Navy, then?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mase and Gin exchanged glances. "And this cure, it's real?"

"We wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't," Commander Slattery responded.

Mase shifted. "We should tell you then. When we were there at the immune camp, yesterday morning, right before we left, we heard some people talking. They said some English ones from the sub was bringing something to Lomas Point. Something to sink your ship."

"What do you mean, something?" Carlton demanded, getting far too close to Mase, causing the man to shrink back. Danny pulled on his shoulder. While he knew _exactly_ how Carlton felt, that wasn't the way to keep these people talking, and they needed to know what the hell the Nathan James was going up against.

"I got the idea it was some kind of gun or tank. They just said it was something big and it could take you out."

 _Armaments._ Fort Polk wasn't too far away, and would certainly have enough surface-to-air missiles to take out the James. Heart pounding,Danny turned to Slattery. "If it's a threat, we need to warn them."

"If we warn them, it could give up both our positions," Slattery said slowly. "But Lomas Point is just a few miles north of here."

Silence fell as Slattery obviously struggled with his obligation to the President, and his duty to the crew. Decision made he straightened. "Tex, Green, gear up. Everyone else stays put. Burk, it's on you now here."

Carlton straightened. "Don't worry, XO. I got it."

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Kara braced herself against the desk, the seatbelt digging into her stomach in a way that would probably leave bruises, as the Nathan James swung. Even if she hadn't heard Captain Chandler give the order, she would have known what was happening. They were evading the submarine's missiles, missiles that they couldn't see but knew were out there. Still, even knowing that it was coming, the hit was unexpected, the ship lurching one way and then the other before alarms began ringing. Straightening, Kara quickly checked, her heart sinking as she realized where the alarm was coming from.

She heard Alisha's voice, her panic unmistakable. "Captain, fire in the weapons room!"

"Flood it! Flood projectiles magazine!"

The standard order, but one that would leave the Nathan James not only blind, but defensless. An analysis that Alisha confirmed only seconds later.

"Magazine's flooded, sir. We're out of weapons."

 _Leaving them sitting ducks._

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"Guys, look. That truck is hauling something heavy," Tex said quietly, indicating the tracks.

Danny stared at the ground. Some part of him had hoped that Mase was just wrong. That they guy had misheard or that his idea of a "big weapon" was something like a hand-held rocket launcher that would do little damage to the James. But these tracks were no joke. Whatever the Immunes had gotten their hands on, it was a ship killer. A few more feet and they could see the surface-to-surface missiles.

Slattery whistled. "One of those warheads hits the James, she's sunk."

A glance around the clearing showed some rather familiar faces. Danny nodded towards Tex. "Looks like the same guys we fought on Solace."

"It's too late to warn the ship. They're already in firing range," Slattery commented.

Peeking above the truck again, Danny caught sight of the Nathan James barreling towards them, smoke streaming from him. God knew what they were doing, heading so close to land. Was the Captain trying to ground her to give the crew a chance to escape? God, the CO had no idea what the ship was facing. If the three of them couldn't take out this battery, those incoming lifeboats would be doomed.

"Okay. Here's the plan, boys." Both Tex and Danny looked at Slattery. "Win."

"Good plan," Tex muttered, moving around the truck towards the first hostile he saw, while Danny snuck around the perimeter to attack from the other side. Without any time to formulate strategy and completely outnumbered, each man did what came naturally. Not expecting any resistance, the first three hostiles went down easily, then one caught Slattery off-guard. Swinging around, Danny took him out, only to feel the punch of a bullet hitting his chest. Collapsing, he brought his hand towards his chest, praying that his vest had held, the sounds of Tex taking out the shooter barely registering as he tried to force air into his lungs.

 _He wasn't ready to die._

Not when he had so much to live for. Not when dying meant leaving Kara, leaving their baby, alone.

 _Not now._

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"TAO, what's left in the holster?"

The question felt far away, but Kara knew that was the ringing in her ears. Forcing herself to focus, she checked, feeling sick as she answered. "Just the rounds in the 5-inch, sir."

"How many?"

"Four." _Not enough. Not nearly enough_.

But Captain Chandler's voice didn't reveal any worry. "If all we got are surface weapons, we'll make this a surface fight. Head for shallow water. We'll make that sub show its ugly face."

The plan was crazy. If the Ramseys were at all rational, they would stay a safe distance, never getting within range of the James' guns. She was a sitting duck at this point, barely mobile and with no hope of reaching clear water. The only benefit to being closer to shore was that more people would likely make it to land during an evacuation, the body of the ship providing the lifeboats protection from the submarine. Kara wondered if that was Captain Chandler's next step. To order all non-essential personnel to evacuate. To try to buy as much time as they could.

"TAO, fire control will fire as 5-inch bears on target on your call."

Kara wished that she could sound as confident as Captain Chandler, but at least her voice didn't waiver as she answered. "Aye, sir."

Gator's voice broke the silence, his tone panicked. "The sub has locked on us! They're going to fire!"

This time she couldn't stop the tremble in her voice. "Sir, we still don't have a shot."

 _All they could do was pray._

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Danny gasped, forcing himself to an elbow. He could see Tex grappling with one of the Immunes, Slattery with another near the battery. Bringing up his gun, he waited until Tex moved just enough, steadying the barrel against his chest. The force of the recoil was enough to put him flat on his back again, long minutes passing before he managed to stumble to his feet, just in time to see Slattery nail the submarine. He staggered towards Tex and Slattery, needing to see with his own eyes that the ship was still standing.

"That is a damn fine sight." Tex slapped Danny on the back, a jolt that brought on a coughing fit.

"Amen." Slattery grinned. "Vulture Team. The sub is sinking. Saddle up. We're headed home. It's over."

When Danny gasped again, still struggling to bring into his lungs, Tex gave him a long look. "You okay, kid?"

"Just a little out of breath," Danny managed to reply, but the words came out as a wheeze as the edge of his vision began to go black.

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Kara took a deep breath, allowing her eyes to close monetarily as the final shell landed on the submarine. Without sonar or weapons there was little she could do besides listen and, unlike earlier in the day, there was something very comforting about the news being relayed from the lookouts, who were providing every detail of the submarine sinking.

 _It was done_.

The submarine was sunk and they were still here. She was still alive. Rachel would check the baby, just in case, but unlike the other day, Kara could feel the baby doing flips, reassuring her that their little one was fine. Soon Danny would be back on the ship and everything would be okay.

"Mother, this is Tiger Team."

"XO, I assume we have you to thank for our assistance?" Captain Chandler sounded almost jovial in his relief.

"Figured we would do what we could," Slattery said modestly, but the humor disappeared almost immediately. "Vulture Team is inbound on the rhibs but we're requesting a medical evac from Lomas Point if the helo is up and running."

Chandler's slightly jovial tone was gone. "How serious?"

Kara sat up straighter. Chances of it being Danny were slim but...

"Green took a bullet to the chest."


	41. Come live with me and be my love

_Ch. 41 - Come live with me and be my love, And we will all the pleasures prove, That valleys, groves, hills, and fields, Woods, or steepy mountain yields. Christopher Marlowe_

 _x_

"I going to see if Rios needs help. You're in charge, Kirkland." Whether people believed that was her real reason for leaving CIC, Kara didn't care. "Let me know immediately if the UAV picks anything up."

"Yes, ma'am."

Behind her she could hear Kirkland coordinating the departure of the helo, as well as the rhibs coming from land, but her focus was making it to the helicopter-bay-turned-sick-bay before Danny arrived. Of course, when she arrived it was already full, Timothy Rios in the middle of bandaging up one of the engineer's heads. Without Rachel and Doctor Milowsky for backup, he was obviously overwhelmed, although a quick glance around showed that none of the injuries appeared severe.

"Lieutenant Foster! Could you please triage that side of the room?" Timothy didn't wait for an answer as he moved on to the next sailor.

Snapping on a pair of gloves, Kara bent down next to Petty Officer Thomlinson. The burn on his hand and arm looked nasty, although not overly deep. Covering the gash with ointment, Kara began wrapping the angry red flesh. "You were guarding Niels, Thomlinson? Do you need me to locate a replacement?"

"No, ma'am." Thomlinson indicated the corner of the room where someone lay on a pallet. Looking closer, Kara realized that the man was handcuffed to the cot. "Doc said he must have hit his head when we reversed suddenly. I had to let him out when the armory caught fire."

Kara nodded. Not that she wished Niels dead - not exactly - but she also didn't mind seeing him lying there silent, knowing that he couldn't do any more harm. The man literally oozed death. There were times when she wished that she hadn't stopped Rachel from killing him. Shaking off the thought, Kara stood, then turned back to Thomlison. "Lieutenant Bivas was on that row as well. Do you know if she was moved?"

"Yes, ma'am." Thomlinson winced as he settled back on the cot. "I saw some of the guys moving her, although not sure where she ended up."

Making a mental note to ask Rios, Kara set a hand on Thomlinson's shoulder. "Rest. I'll have someone bring you some water in a few."

Fifteen minutes and three more patients, Kara was in the middle of stitching up a jagged cut when the sound of the helo landing penetrated her concentration. Fortunately the majority of the injuries she had seen were minor, burns from those near the armory and bumps and cuts from the impact of the torpedo tossing either bodies or objects into bodies. One of the engineering JOs had what appeared to be a broken arm, but that was the only patient she had been forced to pass off to Rios. Tying off the knot on the end of the cut and dismissing the young ensign with orders to return in four hours for a wound check, Kara stood, her heart thundering, as Commander Slattery and Tex carried in a stretcher, Danny's still form draped across it.

 _Almost as though he were dead._

Kara froze, unable to breathe. They would have told her, surely, if he was dying? Without conscious thought Kara took one step, then another, until she was close enough to see the way that Danny's chest was rising and falling. Her breathe escaping in a rush, Kara felt almost light-headed with relief. But the feeling passed quickly. The tension in Danny's jaw and the wheezing sound he was making told her that something was definitely wrong. Rios passed her, his stethoscope out, quickly and efficiently taking Danny's temperature, listening to his chest, and making notes on his chart.

Tex slipped a hand onto Kara's arm. "Nothing to worry about, darling. The vest stopped the bullet. Just having a hard time catching his breath. That boy of your is kind of a drama queen, you know?"

The comment drew snickers and Danny flipped Tex the bird, unable to speak as Timothy slipped an oxygen mask over his face. Despite their audience, Kara caught Danny's hand, squeezing it tightly between both of hers.

"Probably a collapsed lung," Timothy said finally. "Doctor Scott is about ten minutes away, so I suggest we wait for her. Lieutenant Foster, will you monitor the patient while I resume my rounds?"

"Of course." Kara wondered if her voice sounded shaky to anyone else. She steeled herself to take a closer look at Danny and, despite the pallor on his skin, there was no blood or other visible injuries. Still, a collapsed lung wasn't exactly good news. "So much for being safer on land. You managed to get shot."

Danny made to move his oxygen mask, but Kara swatted away his hand, drawing a laugh from Tex. "This one goes looking for trouble, I tell you."

"I assume it was you who took out the submarine?" Kara asked, her voice softening slightly. Danny stopped fighting with his mask, lying back on the cot with a nod.

"Doc got a little bored with nothing to do," Tex said. "So she decided to spice it up by curing some passerbys with that new cure of hers..."

"She _what_?" Kara asked, eyes wide as she imagined Captain Chandler's reaction when he found out.

"Oh yeah, the Commander took it pretty well but the Commodore, well, doubt he'll be quite so understanding. Still, good thing she did 'cause it turned out that the Immunes had a Plan B for taking the James out. It was too late to warn you so figured we'd take care of the problem ourselves."

"Couldn't," Danny gasped, his fingers tightening around Kara's, "let you walk into a trap."

Kara swallowed, moving the mask back into place as the lookout announced the arrival of the second rhib. _She could have lost him so easily._ If the shot hit his neck or leg or the armhole in his vest...so many possibilities. "Save your breath. We'll talk later."

Behind her there was a slight shuffle, and then Captain Chandler appeared. His eyes flickered to Danny and Kara's joint hands, but he didn't comment. "Commander Slattery told me what you boys did. You saved the ship. Thank you."

Tex grinned. "Couldn't let them blow you up. How else am I going to get back to Florida?"

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Kara jerked upright, almost falling out of the stiff chair she was sitting in. After a moment's disorientation she realized that she was in one of the cabins in sick bay. She had been sitting by Danny's bunk, watching him sleep, and must have drifted off. In a rush of embarrassment, Kara noticed that Danny was not only awake now, but was holding out a handkerchief, no doubt to address the drool that she could feel slipping down her cheek. _Talk about an attractive look._

He smiled at her. "Morning, sleepyhead."

Pretending that she wasn't mortified, Kara made a pretense of checking her watch. 0645. The last time she remembered checking the time was just after midnight. She had been asleep for six hours, which meant that Rachel and Timothy had probably seen her as well. To cover her embarrassment, she motioned towards Halsey, who was currently resting his head on Danny's bunk. "Rios let Halsey in here? I'm shocked."

Halsey's ears perked up at his name and Danny started to chuckle, a sound that was quickly cutoff as he brought a hand to his chest, the area still obviously sore. "Not exactly. He was tearing up Miller's cabin again so Master Chief said it was either this or the XO was going to throw him overboard. Doc backed down."

"You should have taken him with you when you left. He was going crazy stuck here," Kara replied, not surprised by Halsey's antics. Despite being well-trained, Halsey was still a dog, and dogs didn't do well being cooped up in small spaces like ships. "How are you feeling?"

"Bored. Rios says I'm stuck in here for the day."

"You _did_ have a collapsed lung. That seems like something worth observing," Kara replied dryly.

"Tomato, tomato."

Kara blinked, the comment unexpectedly drawing tears. "When I heard Slattery say that you were injured, all I could think about was what I would do without you. I don't want to find out, Danny."

"Kara, I..."

"No, let me finish." Kara took a moment to brush away the tears forming in her eyes. "I did a lot of thinking yesterday, Danny. Thinking about what is going to happen when we get to St. Louis.."

"St. Louis?" Danny interrupted, his face confused, and Kara realized that he had been out of the loop for most of the discussions concerning their next steps. "We're going up the Mississippi? Can the ship make it that far north?"

Glancing towards the door to make sure it was shut, Kara explained. "It depends. Sonar's still out but Gator charted it and based on the most updated navigational maps that we have, the river should be deep enough. If it looks close we're using the old tried-and-true method of dropping anchor and seeing how far down it goes."

Danny began laughing again, this time cutoff by the look on Kara's face. "You're serious, aren't you."

Kara shrugged. "President Michener is dead-set on taking the ship to St. Louis. He thinks starting in the center of the country gives us the best shot at spreading the contagious cure effectively, and Rachel agrees. We're stopping in Vicksburg later today, then Memphis in two days. We're already sending out radio broadcasts."

"We're broadcasting our position? When there's no way to turn the ship and we might end up stuck on a sand bank?"

If possible, Danny sounded even more dumb-founded than he had at the idea of taking the Nathan James up the Mississippi. Kara smiled. "You sound like the XO, but yeah, we're broadcasting our position. Captain has snipers on the decks but otherwise we're hoping for the best."

"I get a little knocked about and the world goes crazy," Danny muttered.

Kara took a deep breath, the words escaping in a rush. "When we get to St. Louis, I'm leaving the ship. I can't do this any longer. Worrying about the baby, worrying about the ship, worrying about _you_ , never knowing when the next threat is going to come. I can't take the chance of something happening to this child. Not after everything he's survived. I would never forgive myself."

Dead silence filled the cabin and Kara waited, barely breathing, uncertain of how Danny would take her announcement. But she knew that this was the right decision. For weeks she had been walking a fine line, balancing the ship and the baby and Danny. She couldn't do it anymore. She needed to make a choice.

 _She needed to put the baby first._

Then Danny heaved a sigh, his hand moving from Halsey's head to grasp hers. "Thank God."

"You aren't upset?" Kara pressed, wanting to make certain she wasn't misreading his response.

"Leaving the ship, knowing that you were heading out to face that sub without me, that was the hardest thing I've done since the day I stepped aboard the ship," Danny admitted. "Knowing that you - and the baby - are safe. That's all I want. And right now that means getting off the ship."

For long minutes they sat there, hands folded together, both lost in their own thoughts until a knock sounded.

Rachel eased the door open quietly in response to Danny's summons. "Oh good, you're awake Kara. I was hoping that you would have time for a quick ultrasound today. Not that I anticipate any problems but given the events of yesterday I think it would be prudent to check."

"Of course," Kara replied, every muscle protesting after a night in a chair, wishing that she could take an hour long shower.

"If you let me grab the ultrasound machine, we can do it right now." Rachel disappeared and Kara stood awkwardly in the middle of the cabin.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" She asked Danny, finally, needing to break the silence.

"I'm good. Rios brought by some water and MREs earlier. I have some left if you're hungry." Danny held up the packages.

The mention of food reminded Kara that she was starving but the sight of the MREs - peanut butter by the looks of it - was less than appealing. She also needed to pee rather badly but that was something she didn't plan to share, simply hoping that Rachel would not be long. "I'll grab something in the mess after Rachel does the check."

"Here we are." Rachel rolled the ultrasound machine into the small space. Danny sat up, allowing Kara to recline on the bunk, pulling out her shirt for the familiar procedure. "You're far enough along that we can probably tell the sex, Kara. If the two of you want to know."

The light on Danny's face was impossible to miss, although he turned to Kara. "Up to you."

She smiled, his excitement contagious. "Yes, if we can."

Rachel studied the screen. "Good heartrate." She turned on the volume so the infant's heartbeat filled the room. "You have a busy one here. He or she is doing flips. Can you feel that, Kara?"

Kara blinked. "I thought that was gas."

The look on Danny's face was hysterical, a combination of shock and amusement. "Our baby moving feels like _gas_?"

Rachel chuckled. "If that bothers you, I strongly suggest that you skip labor."

Kara hadn't known that it was possible for someone to go from such joy to such horror in seconds. Danny looked shell-shocked. "God, I hadn't even thought about that part. Maybe you leaving the ship isn't such a bad idea."

"Just for that I'm going to make _sure_ that you are present," Kara retorted.

"And for the finale..." Rachel commented, ignoring the byplay as manipulated the wand. She smiled as she turned the screen so they could both see the dancing baby.

"Congratulations. It's a boy."


	42. Without a family, man, alone in the worl

_Ch. 42 - "Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold." -Andre Maurois_

 _x_

"Do you think there will be a lot of people there?" Chris asked, eyes glued on the muddy water of the Mississippi River. As they drew closer to St. Louis, most of the crew had moved onto the deck, waiting and watching, praying that St. Louis was the safe haven they needed it to be given the state of the ship and their dire lack of fuel.

Danny considered the question. Vicksburg was a bust, obviously, but the crowd in Memphis was larger than anticipated. Now the only question was whether the people immunized in Memphis had left the college excited about the cure, or wary of the trap laid by the Immunes. It was how those ordinary people talked about the Nathan James, far more than anything that President Michener or Doctor Scott or Captain Chandler could say, that would determine whether their stop in St. Louis was a success. Danny felt his fingers tightening on the rail, still uncertain about his actions that day in blocking the gate. At the time there had seemed to be no other choice but to keep the crowd contained, to make sure that they received the cure, knowing that they easily could have been exposed to the virus. Still, the knowledge that he had held regular American citizens at gunpoint rankled, Danny unable to dismiss the nagging feeling that he should have found a better way to handle the situation.

"I hope so." Realizing that he wasn't exactly being encouraging, Danny turned towards his brother. "You should be proud, Chris. Proud of the part you played in developing the cure. We've found a way to beat this thing and, no matter what happens today, we'll find a way to spread it. "

Chris fidgeted. "What do you think of that new woman, Val?"

"Valerie Raymond?" Danny parroted, frowning. When had Chris run into Val? Since her assistance in taking out the submarine, the crew had warmed slightly to the computer hacker, but only slightly, and Val hadn't seemed all that interested in branching out either. Other than a few visits to the officer's mess with Alisha, Val seemed to stayed in her cabin when she wasn't helping Rachel run computer simulations mapping the anticipated spread of the contagious cure. Oh, that was where Chris would have run into Val, Rachel's lab. Danny ran an assessing eye over his brother. Had Chris's crush on Bertrise been transferred to an even more unlikely target? Because Danny was willing to bet a week's salary that Val's interest in Alisha Granderson wasn't all professional. "Smart, but stupid, falling for the Immunes' shit. Helping them without any proof."

"She was at MIT before the virus hit, getting her Ph.D," Chris explained slowly. "Some of the computer stuff she's doing is really complex. She said that I'm not half bad at programming. She would be willing to teach me."

"I thought you were going to help Commander Garnett's team?" Danny hedged, uncertain of how he felt about his younger brother working with a conspiracy theorist with known ties to the Immunes. If Chris thought that things were rough being immune, that would be nothing if word got around the ship that he was a Ramsey sympathizer.

"I will be. Commander Garnett was saying that there are going to be a lot of logistical issues to deal with in St. Louis to get the city running - power, communications, even traffic lights. All of that stuff runs off computers. Commander Garnett plans to set up a civilian corps to stay in the city after the Nathan James leaves. Val is going to be the communications expert. If I can learn enough about how the operating systems work, I could travel with the team that will eventually move around the country getting the infrastructure back up and running. With that kind of experience, I'll have a lot of options."

Danny was impressed. Not so much with Commander Garnett's organizational skills, because there was a reason she was the chief engineer, but by how much Chris seemed to have thought through this plan. "Have you told Dad yet? What about the rest of high school?"

"He knows." Chris shrugged. "He's not real happy but none of the other guys are going back. Ray plans to join up as soon as he can, and Colin is only a couple months behind him. Apparently Captain Chandler said that they have to be seventeen."

None of that was a surprise to Danny. Ray had made his plans to enlist clear from the moment he stepped foot on the Nathan James, and Colin was a follower. But unlike Chris, neither kid had much of a choice. Without family or adult guardians, they were pretty much on their own.

"Just don't rush into anything. It's going to take some time for things to start getting back to the way they were," Danny began, but Chris was no longer listening, his attention fixed on the sight of Bertrise standing next to Will Mason on the lower deck. Nodding towards the two teenagers, Danny decided to ask. "How are things going there?"

"We're just friends," Chris replied immediately, but his glum look told a different story. "Bertrise said she's not interested in anyone, not like that. She isn't even sure what will happen to her once we get to St. Louis."

"What do you mean?" Danny couldn't imagine Captain Chandler sending the seventeen-year-old off on her own, not after all the assistance that she had provided.

"We heard Doctors Scott and Milowsky talking. President Michener is planning to send Doctor Scott to various spots around the country to spread the cure. Kind of like a PR campaign, I guess. Doctor Milowsky said that Bertrise can stay with him, but she's not super comfortable with the guy," Chris explained. This was the first that Danny had heard of Rachel leaving, although he could understand why Michener might want to take advantage of the doctor's popularity. Of course, if Rachel was going to be travelling, she wouldn't be going alone. He had been counting on some time in St. Louis. Time with Kara, time to figure out their future, time to just be together while they worked focused on getting the new administration settled and repairing the Nathan James. Now it seemed like that time might be days, rather than the weeks or even months he was anticipating.

Not wanting to dwell on the worrisome thought, Danny fell silent as the Nathan James approached the last turn before St. Louis. Long minutes passed as the ship took the final bend and there, spread out before them, were crowds. Far more people than they could have imagined, spreading in every direction, a great roar of welcome as they spied the Nathan James.

 _Maybe they had done it after all._

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Danny stood to the side of the dock, eyes flickering across the crowd, only half listening as the Captain introduced President Michener and Doctor Scott to the surviving civilian government in St. Louis, headed by Mayor Howard Oliver. Oliver appeared to be a laid-back man, one who seemed almost overwhelmed by his luck in being in charge of the first major city to receive the cure. Danny's current job was to watch for any threat from the crowd while Captain Chandler assessed Oliver himself. Not that the man was acting suspicious but, after Baltimore, trust no longer came easily.

"And this is Doctor Scott, Mr. Oliver."

"It's such a pleasure to be here in your beautiful city. I look forward to seeing more of it soon, but first I think that crowd requires some attention." Rachel sounded almost giddy, her relief at the size of the crowd unmistakable.

"Yes, yes. Obviously spreading the cure is the priority. We reopened the hospital yesterday, in anticipation of your arrival, and have a number of people who are quite sick. We were hoping that a group from your ship might be able to head there directly," Oliver replied.

"I would be happy to go," Caro pipped up. Danny forced himself not to roll his eyes. Of course Caro would volunteer.

Captain Chandler nodded, before explaining to Oliver, "Ms. Green is a nurse who is well-versed in both the cure and the virus."

"We are still working on getting the power going, and have few medical supplies remaining, unfortunately," Oliver continued apologetically. "But we are doing what we can to keep those who are sick comfortable while they wait."

Chandler caught Danny's eye before turning back to the mayor. "Lieutenant Green, take Cruz and Miller and ask Commander Garnett if she has anyone to spare to help get the hospital generator running. I'm certain that there will be more people arriving as word spreads that the cure works on the infected."

"Yes, sir."

Five minutes later Danny was back on the dock, this time joined by Cruz, Miller and Ensign Rodriguez, who was apparently the most experienced engineering officer after Commander Garnett, now that Chung and Lynn were dead. Given that the kid was maybe twenty and was about as green as they came, Danny could understand why Garnett was willing to risk recruiting Valerie Raymond. The woman might not have a clue about people, but she did know computers, and that was a skill set that was in desperately short supply.

Mayor Oliver's aide, a man named Calvin Harris, led them across the small harbor towards a SUV, where he opened the front passenger side door. Turning to Caro, he waved her towards the seat. "After you."

Danny promptly opened the rear door. "Cruz, take the front. Caro, I want you in back."

Harris shot Caro a charming smile. "Your husband seems to be rather protective, Mrs. Green."

Danny pretended not to hear Miller snort as Caro quickly corrected the mistake. "Danny's my brother."

"Oh, my apologies, _Miss_ Green." Despite his words, Harris's smile grew broader and his eyes lingered a little too long on Caro's backside as she climbed into the SUV, presumably on areas that Danny liked to pretend didn't exist when it came to his sister. A quick glimpse to his left told Danny that he wasn't the only one bothered by Harris's behavior. Cruz's usually stoic expression had disappeared, and the man was now wearing a distinct scowl.

"Although you're correct, my husband is quite protective." Caro smiled sweetly as she settled herself in the SUV, pointing at Teylor.

Any amusement that Danny might have felt over Teylor's annoyance with Harris disappeared instantly. "Your _what_?"

Caro rolled her eyes. "Fine, fiance. Not that it matters. We're making it official as soon as things settle down. No long engagements for me."

Danny turned on the man he _used_ to consider a friend. "Who the hell gave you permission to ask my sister to marry you?"

"Dad did," Caro interjected, not giving Cruz a chance to respond. "Back in Louisiana. Not that you would have any say in the matter even if Dad didn't give us his blessing."

Unwilling to concede that Caro _might_ have a point, Danny simply scowled. "Why would you want to marry that bullet sponge anyway?"

Caro was quiet for so long that Danny thought she wasn't going to answer. "You told me to focus on the good things, Danny. I'm trying."

The words were a punch to the gut. "Caro..."

But his sister clearly wasn't in the mood for a meaningful conversation. "Now get the hell in the car. I have a job to do and you're holding me up."

"Yes, ma'am." Without another word, Danny slid into the seat next to Caro, while Miller and Rodriquez took the third row. As Harris started the engine, Danny glanced at his sister. One of these days, the two of them were going to need to sit down and have a real talk about what had happened to Caro during the eight months that the Nathan James was gone.

Today, however, was not that day. Today they had people to save.

"Let's go."

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"Do you think that he's up for it?" Kara asked quietly as they eased their way through the crowd, not quite touching. While the crew might have accepted their relationship, Danny and Kara were both very conscious of the fact that they were in uniform and there were certain standards to uphold. Everywhere they turned there was someone shaking their hands or pressing kisses to their cheeks, the joyous atmosphere as contagious as the cure.

"I don't know," Danny replied, not having to ask what she meant. Watching President Michener officially sworn in had brought home just how much was riding on this man - a man who had fallen for the Ramseys' lies, who had attempted to kill himself, one who was barely capable to making a decision about what to eat for lunch.

 _A man who neither of them trusted._

"This is for you!" A young boy, perhaps five, held up a somewhat squashed flower, the roots still dangling from the bottom of the stem.

Dropping to her knees, Kara took the offered gift, reaching out her hand to wipe a spot of dirt from the child's face, brushing his dirty-blond hair behind an ear. "Thank you, it's beautiful! What's your name?"

"I'm Danny!"

"Oh really?" Kara grinned up at Danny, her smile taking his breath away. "This is Danny too!"

"You're huge!" Young Danny stared at his older counterpart in amazement before looking back to Kara. "Will I be that big when I'm all done growing?"

Danny chuckled as he helped Kara back to her feet. "You can be. Just make sure to eat your wheaties."

The boy nodded, wide-eyed, before turning and dashing towards a woman with the same sandy hair and green-blue eyes. "Mommy! Mommy! I'm going to be _huge_."

As the crowd around them laughed, Kara tilted her head towards Danny, speaking quietly, her comment for his ears only. "In a couple of years that could be us."

Deciding to hell with the rules, Danny slipped an arm around Kara's waist. "I have a good feeling about this place. This time I think we're home."


	43. Meet me in St Louis, Louis

_Ch. 43 - "Meet me in St. Louis, Louis."_

x

Kara's eyes shot open, heart pounding as she stared into the unfamiliar room, something heavy pinning her to the bed.

 _Strapping her down._ _Trapping her, like at Avocet._

"What's wrong?" The voice was low, tense, and Kara abruptly relaxed, logic overcoming panic as she realized that the "weight" pinning her to the bed was nothing more Danny's arm slung across her chest from when they fell asleep, curled up together in the large hotel bed that was about six times as wide as her bunk. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she could make out Halsey's outline by the door, the dog alert and at attention, no doubt responding to the tenor of Danny's voice.

"Nothing, just a cramp. Sorry I woke you." Lying as still as possible, Kara waited for Danny to relax, his breath slowing as, having confirmed that nothing was wrong, he drifted back to sleep. Staring into the darkened room, Kara wished that she could do the same.

It was after midnight by the time they got to their room following a long but rewarding day spent spreading the cure, and a hectic evening spent relocating the entire crew from the Nathan James to the St. Regis. Without fuel, and with most of its critical systems crippled, the CO and XO had quickly decided that the hotel was a better base of operations than the James. Mayor Oliver suggested the St. Regis due to its central location and proximity to the hospital where Rachel was setting up shop, and the decision was made. Garnett and her team were able to get the hotel's emergency generator running fairly quickly using propane commandeered from one of the safe zones, but the process of assigning rooms and arranging watch and transferring people the five miles from the harbor to the hotel had taken hours. Shifting slightly, Kara realized that she had another problem - one that would definitely preclude more sleep. She began easing out of the bed, only to have Danny's arm tighten again.

"Where are you going?"

Apparently he _hadn't_ fallen back to sleep. "I need to make a quick trip to the facilities."

There was a slightly pause while Danny squinted at his watch. "It's 0445, Kara. You have to pee _now_?"

"Blame your son," Kara grumbled as she struggled to a sitting position. Although the bed was incredibly comfortable - it should be given that this had once been a four hundred dollar a night hotel - getting out of it made her feel like a whale. Next to her Danny slung his feet over the side without any problem. "You don't need to come, Danny. The Captain posted a watch."

Ignoring her protest, Danny slid on a shirt and his shower flip-flops, opening the door to let Halsey exit first. One downside to being back on land was the lack of working bathrooms. Garnett had put them on the priority list, but given that she was currently facing a city without any working infrastructure and a destroyer that needed to be rebuilt almost from the ground up, Kara wasn't sure which "critical priority" would actually take priority. Still, without clean water and proper facilities, Rachel was concerned about the spread of preventable disease, which would probably propel water and sewer closer to the top of the list. Nobody wanted a rash of deaths from whooping cough when they finally had a cure for the Red Flu.

Reaching the hallway, Kara was thankful for the emergency lighting as they traveled the five floors down to the ground. They were on the last flight when a voice called out, "Who's there?"

"Foster and Green, Walker. Just making a pit stop," Danny answered.

"Didn't know you had such a small bladder, sir," Walker replied. He nodded as Kara passed, his tone revealing nothing about his thoughts on seeing them together in the middle of the night. Kara supposed by now people were used to the idea. Nobody had so much as blinked when Danny offered to gather her belongings from the Nathan James the night before, allowing Kara to avoid the trip back to the ship. And Danny was no longer even pretending to follow the frat rules. Hell, he hadn't even bothered to collect the key to the room he was assigned here in the hotel, joining Kara in hers without discussion. "Ma'am."

"Quiet night, then?" Danny asked, having scoped out the fenced in space before returning to where Walker was standing in the doorway, trusting Halsey's sharp senses to notice any intruders before he did. Kara made a beeline to the porta-potties that she and Alisha marked "women only" earlier that evening. They might not have running water and be reduced to peeing in a hole, but there was still a line. Neither she nor Alisha was willing to share with the guys. Their bathrooms were always disgusting.

"A few stragglers came by, looking for the cure, but we directed them over to the hospital," Walker was explaining when Kara returned.

"Do you know if Lieutenant Bivas was moved from the James?" Danny asked.

"Doc Rios decided to wait until morning," Walker replied.

Kara supposed that made sense. It was well past dusk by the time they got things in somewhat decent order at the hospital, and even that was mostly thanks to Mayor Oliver's foresight in opening the building in anticipation of the Nathan James' arrival. The mayor of St. Louis for only fifteen months prior to the outbreak, Oliver had done better than most in keeping the city under control, with no major rioting. While the hospital lacked power, water, and supplies, it hadn't been ransacked, and a surprisingly large number of the medical staff had survived in the various safe zones set up around the city due to Oliver's foresight in splitting them up early. There were already rumors that Michener planned to ask Oliver to serve as his vice-president, and Kara thought that the man could do far worse. Michener needed a strong second-in-command to serve as his sounding board, while occasionally giving him a swift kick in the ass. In other words, he needed his own Master Chief and, on first glance at least, Oliver fit that bill.

Even if he did ride out the pandemic in a Costco, a fact that brought no end of amusement to both his own staff and the crew of the Nathan James.

Kara shivered in the cool morning air. Yesterday had been a beautiful day, but it _was_ December in St. Louis, and the weather wasn't warm. "Thank you, Walker."

Hurrying up the stairs, Kara was breathing heavily by the time they reached the fifth floor, a fact which Danny wisely didn't comment on as he preceded her into the room, collapsing onto the bed. Following him at a slower pace, Kara settled down on the other side, the one that she had claimed as hers the night before, back against the headboard, too wound up to go back to sleep despite the hour. "Have you been by to see Ravit?"

Danny rolled until his head was against her stomach, arm thrown across her legs. "I tried. She didn't want to talk or play cards. Said she was too tired. Carlton said she barely talks to anyone, even him or Wolf. Just sleeps and reads."

Kara threaded her fingers through Danny's hair. It was too long, and there was no longer any excuse for the beard, but nobody had said anything, probably because there were so many more important things to worry about. Although the contagious cure was spreading, the good news was almost dwarfed by stories of outbreaks currently going on across the country, brought by people travelling hundreds of miles based on rumors of a cure. Today alone, there had been planes arriving from as far away as Arizona, mostly small, private aircraft. After two near collisions, Slattery assigned Gator to handle traffic control until they could find someone qualified to do the job.

It was something that Michener should have approved, but he was apparently too busy personally supervising Niels' transfer from the Nathan James to the hospital to take the time. Despite the myriad issues the country was facing, their new president remained hyper focused on Niels, demanding a formal investigation into what happened during the sinking of the Archilles, despite all evidence pointing to Niels' coma being the result of the man falling and hitting his head on his bunk when the missiles hit the ship. In light of all of the other problems he was facing, Michener's focus on Niels struck Kara as almost obsessive.

"She's been through a lot, Danny. She can barely move and she's in pain. Give her time."

"It's just..." Danny paused. "Carlton is going nuts trying to figure out how to help her. His head isn't in the game. The guys are covering for him but Slattery's going to notice sooner or later."

More likely he already had and was simply cutting Burk some slack. Kara sighed. "This is something that she needs to work through on her own. Carlton needs to give her that space."

Danny moved so his head was propped up on one arm. "That's what Caro said too. But it just feels wrong. Ravit was a member of my team, and they're my friends. I want to help them. Both of them."

Kara raised an eyebrow. "When did you talk to Caroline?"

"I gave her a lift to the James to pick up her stuff. I still can't believe she plans to marry Teylor. They've never even dated," Danny sulked.

Biting her tongue, Kara managed not to point out that Danny hadn't seen dating as a prerequisite to proposing back in Baltimore. She could already hear his response.

 _"It's different."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Because you're pregnant!"_

That's what it always came back to, the baby, the pregnancy, him wanting - no needing - to keep her and the baby safe, the way he couldn't keep Frankie or his family safe. Kara blinked away tears, once again cursing the hormones that overwhelmed her at the most inopportune moments, wondering what would have happened if she wasn't pregnant. Would she and Danny have moved past the events of Gitmo, coming back together in Norfolk or even now in St. Louis? Or would that night in Gitmo have been the end, the need to keep their distance putting too much stress on a relationship that barely was?

And did it even matter? Because Danny was right about one thing. She _was_ pregnant and, if there was anything that she had learned over the past few months, it was that she and Danny were tied together in a way that she would never have understood before. A way that felt far more permanent than any relationship, bound by their love for the tiny person who was even now kicking her in the ribs.

Dragging her thoughts back to the topic at hand, Kara tried for reason. "Even if they never technically dated, haven't Caroline and Teylor known each other for years?"

"Only if you count mutual hatred," Danny groused. That wasn't the story that Kara had heard - and didn't quite mesh with Danny's own admission that the two were having sex - but Danny apparently wasn't interested in reason when it came to his sister. "And what's the deal with wanting to get married _this week_? Why not stay engaged for a while? Marriage is a big step. No reason to rush into anything."

In Kara's opinion, Caroline had every right to live her life however she wanted, including marrying one of Danny's friends without waiting for her brother to adjust to the idea. But saying that out-loud would simply get Danny riled up. As much as he claimed to be a modern man, there were times when he was unbelievably old-school, and Caroline getting married seemed to have brought out those caveman instincts.

"I heard today that Michener is hoping to get the high school reopened by the middle of January. Your dad should talk to him about a job there." Kara paused as a thought occurred to her. "Unless he plans to go look for your mom."

"No, he's not." Danny shook his head. "Said it was too dangerous to be on the roads right now, and he didn't want to leave Chris. Originally Caro was dead set on going, but Teylor talked her out of it somehow. If Mom's alive, she'll head here the moment that she hears about the Nathan James. If she isn't, well, we'll find out sooner or later."

Silence fell and Kara thought that Danny might have fallen back to sleep until one of his hand found its way under the hem of her shirt and began stroking her baby bump. "Did Rachel say when I'll be able to feel him move?"

"She said it could be as early as twenty weeks, but more likely around twenty-five weeks. I guess it depends on the woman," Kara explained. "So any time now."

Rolling, Danny pushed Kara's shirt up to kiss her no-longer-flat stomach. "Come on baby, I know you're in there. Move for daddy..."

Giggling, Kara drank in the sight of Danny talking to her bump. Apparently giving up on the idea of feeling the baby move, Danny looked up, giving her that slow grin, the one that never failed to reduce her to a quivering pile of goo. "No luck with the little guy. What about you, mama? Think I could get lucky?"

"Maybe." Sliding down, Kara wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him towards her for a slow, languid kiss that ended only when Danny rolled her on top of him. Wiggling herself free from his arms, drawing a groan from Danny when she brushed against his growing erection, Kara pushed into a seated position that was more comfortable for her bump. Pulling her shirt over her head, she bent down for another kiss, only to be stopped by his hands cupping her face.

"I can't imagine my life without you. You know that, right?"

Tears pressed against her eyes and Kara blinked them away. It wasn't a proposal, but maybe that no longer mattered. "Well, lucky for you, you won't need to. You're stuck with me, Danny Green. Get used to it."


	44. There will come a time when you believe

_A/N - a million apologies for the delay in updating! I had no intention of leaving you hanging but between work getting busy, Scousedancer coming to visit (which was a total blast! everyone should invite Scousedancer to visit - hi Scouse!), Comic-con, and my kids being out of school for the summer, I've been buried. Still, I know the delays are hard as a reader so I will try super hard not to take too long to post the last few chapters of this story. I hope you enjoy. XOXO - tmtcltb._

 _x_

 _"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning." - Louis L'amour_

 _x_

"So it's Christmas Even and we're doing this anti-piracy mission off the coast of Somalia..."

Kara sipped at her water, smiling as Danny's hands moved, animating the story. This was the first time since Frankie's death that she had heard him speak about his best friend so casually, no bitterness or anger in his voice, just amusement muted by a touch of sadness. Maybe the downtime had helped. Although the last week hadn't exactly been a cruise to the Caribbean (something that no longer sound appealing after their experience getting to Serrana Bank), being in St. Louis was strangely relaxing, the responsibility of saving the world now no longer solely on their shoulders.

With the Nathan James out of commission for months, Mayor - now Vice-President - Howard Oliver had immediately thrown himself into organizing teams to spread the cure to the areas surrounding St. Louis, roping in every available public servant to assist him. And there had been no shortage of volunteers. Some were part of the original emergency plan - Oliver's staff, police officers, firefighters, doctors and nurses. But others were simply people who wanted to do what they could to help, motivated by a desire to save those who could still be saved.

The abrupt switch from eighteen hour days shifts spent hiding from the submarine, and most other human contact, to being inundated with volunteers had been jarring at first. Still, the crew immediately began taking advantage of the extra personnel, the time off requests becoming so frequent that Commander Garnett finally put the majority of the crew on an every-other-day schedule. With Danny's departure - along with all those assigned to land teams - quickly approaching, Kara was determined to enjoy every minute of their time together, and Danny seemed to feel the same way. Over the past week they had settled into an easy routine, grabbing breakfast together most mornings before Kara joined President Michener and Captain Chandler for the day's briefing, her transition from the Nathan James to President Michener's military liaison a natural one given the circumstances. Danny and Carlton spent most days putting the new surprisingly large number of volunteers with a military background through their paces, assigning those who qualified one of the coveted spots on the teams disbursing the cure, while the rest received slightly less prestigious duties here in St. Louis. Most days they were both done by 1600 hours, leaving plenty of time to eat dinner and catch up with Carlton or Alisha or visit with Ravit, and even explore the city a little.

Dragging herself back to the present, Kara focused on Danny as he continued his story. "Thirty minutes later, our helo is hovering over that Hungarian ship. Frankie is fast-roping down, dressed as Santa Claus handing out presents to that entire crew."

Carlton shook his head. "That is completely insane."

"That was Frankie Benz." Danny stared down at his beer for a moment, the group quiet, before lifting it. "To Frankie Benz."

"Hear, hear."

But before they could drink, O'Connor spoke. "To Lynn."

Then Miller. "To Maya."

 _Smith. Berchem. Barker. Cossetti. Cody._

So many names, so many losses. A wave of grief passed over Kara as she considered all those who weren't here. People she would never see again. Who would never again enjoy a beer with a friend. Who would never again sing a song or attend a ballgame or feel the boat rock beneath their feet. And not just those she served with on the Nathan James, but also friends from Norfolk and Annapolis and Kansas and everywhere in-between. She fought tears back, knowing that once she started crying that she wouldn't be able to stop, and not wanting to spoil the evening. Not when this might be the last time she saw many of these people for weeks, or even months.

 _Or ever._

Kara hadn't expected to enjoy this evening, barely managing to stuff herself into her dress uniform and unable to have so much as a drink. But despite her misgivings over the President whom they were celebrating and the series of rather dry speeches that made dinner feel never-ending, the evening had been enjoyable, especially once Tex dragged the group of them to a side-room. Separated from the politicians and other bigwigs, the party became much more like shore leave than a formal event, with Commander Slattery doing little to reign in the festivities. Kara's eyes met Danny's and she saw him swallow, but his voice was steady as he spoke.

"Hear, hear!"

As though sensing her shift in mood, Danny moved towards her, his arm sliding around her back as Tex began a round of song. She picked up his hand, ghosting it over her stomach. "He's kicking, can you feel it?"

Danny paused, waiting, until the baby did another roll, batting at his father's hand. "That's my boy."

Leaning her head against Danny's shoulder, Kara relaxed, tears receding as she joined the singing.

 _"We'll be all right 'cause we sail the Nathan James. We'll roll the old chariot along, and we'll all hang on behind!"_

"Is now a good time?" Puzzled by the way Danny's voice shook, Kara glanced over, puzzled until she realized that he was holding a ring box. A very familiar ring box. The one that she had rejected so bitterly in Baltimore. Caught off-guard, Kara felt her jaw drop, unable to say a word.

"I've been trying to find the right moment to do this. The right _way_ to do this." Danny paused and she could see how hard he was working to force the words out. "I know that I screwed this up before but I love you, Kara, and I want you in my life forever and I-I just think..."

Throwing her arms around him, Kara pressed her lips against his to stop the sputtering, punctuating her answer with one kiss, and then another, the catcalls from the crew not deterring her in the least.

Danny leaned back slightly, looking far more sure of himself than he had a moment before, cocking an eyebrow at her. "Does that mean yes?"

With a laugh she threw her arms around him, murmuring against his lips. "Yes! Definitely yes!"

Almost forgetting their audience, Kara was startled when Tex slapped Danny on the back hard enough for her to lose her balance. " _Finally_. Now I think our boy here needs a whiskey. You sure put him through the ringer, darling!"

"Just a minute." Shrugging off Tex's arm, Danny reached for Kara's left hand, sliding the ring on quickly, almost as though he was afraid that she would change her mind. A fear that wasn't completely irrational, Kara knew, not given the way his last proposal went.

"It's perfect."

 _Not just the ring, but the timing, the proposal and, most importantly, the man._ She reached up to touch his cheek, watching his eyes morph from blue to green as their gaze met, hoping he understood everything that she wasn't saying.

"Enough of that," Tex groaned, "You two can be all sicky-sweet later. Now it's time for a celebratory drink!"

Stepping back, Kara watching Tex and Carlton drag Danny the three feet to the bar, Carlton elbowing Wolf when Rick pulled out his wallet, the words _n_ _ever bet against Tex_ , the only words that Kara made out before Alisha materialized by her side.

Alisha smirked. "Told you he didn't give the ring back."

Before Kara could think of a response, Andrea was picking up her hand. "Congratulations, Kara. There is a lot of history in this ring, a lot of love."

"That there is," Jeter commented, his face serene, but Kara thought she caught a flash of sadness in his eyes, making her wonder how he felt seeing his wife's ring on another woman's hand. "Congratulations, Lieutenant. Julia would be thrilled to know that her ring was being used to unite such a deserving couple. I wish you and Lieutenant Green a lifetime of happiness."

Blinking away tears, Kara managed a watery smile. "I'm honored to wear it."

"Your mom is going to be so excited!" Alisha squealed. "When does she arrive?"

Kara's eyes darted over to Danny, who was currently downing a shot. Wondering how long they were expected to stay when what she really wanted to do was escape to their room - alone. "Next week. Captain Chandler pulled some strings to get her on an earlier transport but medical personnel take priority."

Alisha opened her mouth but, before she could speak, the door to the ballroom slammed open to reveal Captain Chandler. "I need every available sailor geared up now."

 _"There's been a shooting at the hospital."_

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We have multiple reports of shots fired at Memorial East, including a call that I personally received from Doctor Scott approximately ten minutes ago. Cruz and Lewis are on premises, as well St. Louis PD. I spoke to Cruz and from what he could tell, all of the shots came from the second floor of the hospital." Chandler explained shortly as the TAC team geared up, swapping ties and jackets for bulletproof vests and guns. The Captain looked around the room, meeting each man's eyes, reminding them of what was on the second floor.

 _Doctor Scott. Her lab. The cure._

But as horrible as the situation was, Danny couldn't help but feel some relief when he glanced across the hotel lobby and saw who _wasn't_ on the second floor. Caro had been working around the clock, pulling double shifts in the ER in addition to moonlighting at the lab, and with Bertrise still assisting Rachel with her work, Chris could often be found there in the evenings. So chances were good that at least one of them would have been at the hospital tonight had Rachel not insisted that _all_ of them - she, Milowsky, Bertrise, Caro, and Chris - attend the inaugural ball. Of course, Rachel had stayed for less than an hour before disappearing, presumably to return to her work, but the others had remained, Chris and Ray playing cards and sneaking drinks when they didn't think anyone was looking, while Caro socialized with some of the personnel from the hospital while she waited for Teylor to finish his shift and join them.

Danny reached down to make certain Halsey's leash was properly hooked while Captain Chandler continued. "Cruz didn't see anything suspicious prior to the shooting, but noted that the emergency room was crowded with several groups that arrived late this afternoon. He is coordinating with local PD to evacuate those who safely be moved across the street."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Danny found himself smiling at the Captain's choice of words. Across the street was a polite way of saying Costco. When Danny and Carlton began scouting for secure locations to move President Michener in case of attack, to their amusement, the big box store located less than a quarter mile away quickly jumped to the top of the list. The large parking lot made for clear lines of sight in three directions, the interior space provided plenty of room to evacuate the entire hotel if necessary, and the lack of windows allowed for an extremely defensible position. Cruz must have remembered that when making the snap decision of where to send the people streaming out of the hospital.

"Anything from Lewis, sir?" Master Chief Jeter asked, reminding Danny of another reason why someone might be interested in the second floor of the hospital. Niels was there, still in a coma, guarded twenty-four hours a day. Lewis had laughed when he pulled the guard duty tonight, flipping Miller the bird and telling him to choke on his prime rib, the conversation devolving from there.

Chandler shook his head. "Lewis made an initial report to Cruz, stating that he was locking down the room, then he went dark."

"Everyone ready?" Slattery demanded then, without waiting for an answer, turned towards the hotel entrance where Commander Garnett stood barking out orders of her own, presumably locking down the hotel and securing the President and Vice-President. "Move out."

Danny welcomed the frigid air that greeted them on the other side of the door. If nothing else, it helped combat the whiskey shot that he had taken less than fifteen minutes before. He wasn't drunk, at least not enough for Slattery to send him back to the ballroom with an admonition to sober up like he did with Gonzolez, but he could feel the pleasant hum of the booze as it spread through his body. Just enough to dull his senses. _Just enough to get him killed._

The trip from the hotel to the hospital took less than five minutes, Teylor meeting them just outside the door to the emergency room. He immediately launched into his report. "We're moving the last of the civilians now, Captain. First floor has been cleared. We have not tried to access to the second floor."

Teylor's eyes flickered to Carlton as he spoke the last sentence, and it was only then that Danny made the connection. _Ravit's room was on the second floor_. Paralyzed. Stuck in her bed. With no means of escape.

"You made the right call, Cruz."

Danny turned to the man beside him, who stood staring up at the lights streaming from the second story windows of the hospital. "You okay, Burk?"

"I should have been there." Carlton's eyes were slightly glazed from the alcohol - similar to Danny's own, he imagined. But there was no doubting the focus on the man's face. "If they hurt her..."

"If anyone can take care of herself, it's Ravit," Wolf interjected. Unlike the majority of the group, he appeared dead sober. Apparently the Aussie had a hell of a tolerance.

Danny rested his hand on Carlton's shoulder, thanking God that Kara was back at the hotel. When Captain Chandler began forming the team to respond to the hospital, Danny had expected Kara to try to join them. After all, she and Jeter were probably the only two sober people in the room. But she hadn't, instead joining Garnett and heading off with Nishioka to personally check on the President and Vice-President, both of whom had retired to their rooms earlier in the evening. "We'll find her, Carlton."

Turning his attention back to the CO, Danny focused on Cruz's report. "I pulled a few people who got out of the second floor aside to talk to you, if you want, but none of them seemed to know what happened. Mostly nurses and patients who heard the shots and took off. We searched them, of course, but if any of them did have a weapon, they were smart enough to dump it."

"Doubtful they know anything," Captain Chandler agreed. "Here's the plan. XO, take Burk, Wolf, and Tex and circle around to the secondary staircase. Once you get to the top, wait for my signal. Evacuate any civilians you find but search everyone, just in case, and watch your backs. These people got in unnoticed so they're probably dressed in street clothes or maybe disguised as a doctor. Everyone you don't recognize is a suspect. Jeter, Green and Miller, you're with me. We'll take the main staircase. Number one priority is Doctor Scott and evacuating civilians. Next is saving the lab."

Slattery hit his comm. "Sitrep, O'Connor?"

The response was immediate. "All ready, sir."

Chandler nodded. "Time to turn off the lights."

 _It was Baltimore all over again._


	45. Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas

_"Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore." ― L. Frank Baum, Wizard of Oz_

x

"Captain, we have problem." Kara's voice crackled across the radio. Despite the calm tone, Danny knew there was something wrong from the clipped way that she spoke. "We cannot locate Prince Charming or the Wizard of Oz."

 _Fuck._ Ignoring, for a moment, the ridiculous code names that Slattery had assigned to the President and Vice-President - Danny _heard_ the XO laughing every time someone was forced to refer to Michener as Prince Charming - this was bad. _Really, really bad._ There were a dozen reasons why Michener might not in his rooms. He might have needed to take a bathroom break. He might be talking with Oliver about strategy. Hell, he might even be getting laid or drunk like half the people who had been at the ball tonight - and what Danny would most likely be doing if he wasn't here.

But an inability to locate either the president _or_ the vice-president right after a shooting next to the hotel was simply too much of a coincidence.

"The others?" Captain Chandler's voice didn't waiver.

"Secured and accounted for."

At least that was something. The only surviving member the Supreme Court, three senators and a half dozen members of the house of representatives who had arrived in St. Louis after hearing Michener's broadcast - including the newly appointed Speaker of the House and person next in line for the presidency after Oliver - were accounted for.

Chandler didn't hesitate. "Lock down the building immediately."

"Already done, sir, as well as adding extra guards at all entry points and doorways." This time it was Garnett who responded.

Tex grinned, his teeth sparkling in the darkness. "That Red knows her shit."

There were a few tense chuckles but everyone snapped back to attention when Chandler spoke again. "Let's go."

The building was dark as the two groups entered and immediately separated, each group heading to a different stairway, the only illumination the flickering of the emergency lighting. Upon reaching the second floor, Danny released Halsey's leash, allowing him to take the lead, knowing that the dog would alert at every occupied room, speeding up the process of clearing the wing. The first door that Halsey indicated revealed two men in white lab coats, presumably lab rats, cowering in the corner.

There had been no shortage of volunteers willing to join Rachel's team here in St. Louis, although Kara had privately told him that Rachel was less than impressed with most of their qualifications. Danny hadn't been surprised. During a family dinner two nights ago - one orchestrated by Mark with the official purpose of welcoming Teylor to the family but really an effort to smooth over the tension between his two oldest children - Caro had spent at least thirty minutes railing about Rachel's "groupies". Most of whom, according to his sister anyway, had no experience with either vaccines or viruses and were generally stupider than rocks.

Danny was still miffed at both Caro and Teylor for the surprise engagement, followed within forty-eight hours by a wedding ceremony, but had reluctantly conceded that it was more Caro's doing than Teylor's, his sister not the type of woman to be dissuaded from doing exactly what she wanted. And there was one immediate benefit to having a brother-in-law. Upon the signing of that marriage license, it had become Teylor's job to talk Caro out of heading to Connecticut to look for their their mother, which he accomplishing by pointing out just how lost Doctor Scott would be with only the rock-heads to help her, a point that Caro grudgingly acknowledged. Not that she conceded gracefully, her parting shot a sickly-sweet reminder that the job of finding their mother was now entirely on Danny's shoulders.

Quickly frisky the two men, both of whom possessed nothing more dangerous than a pen, Danny sent them down the stairs to where Teylor waited. Two clicks over the comm indicated that Slattery's team had reached the newly constructed laboratory. A third click several seconds later provided the welcome news that it was still intact.

As he followed Captain Chandler down the corridor, checking room after room, Danny's head whirled. The news about Michener and Oliver made a strange situation even stranger. Was it possible that Rachel wasn't the target so much as the lure? But even if that were the case, both Michener and Oliver had their own security detail. It seemed impossible that both could be taken out so easily without an inside man. Danny and Carlton had vetted Michener's escort, but Oliver's was comprised of locals, men who had been with him since before the virus struck. Was it possible that one of them was a traitor? Or, even worse, was Oliver himself involved?

It was Captain Chandler who, by chance, was on point when they reached Ravit's room, turning the handle silently only to have it remain firmly closed. It wasn't the first locked door that they had encountered, having already spent precious time coaxed out several rather reluctant survivors who had barricaded themselves inside a storage closet upon hearing shots fired, but this one was puzzling. How could Ravit have locked her door?

"Lieutenant?" Captain Chandler called softly, his voice toned to reach through the door, but not carry in the quiet hallway.

Seconds later the door opened to reveal a site that would have left Rios horrified. Ravit was in a wheelchair, a long pipe and a pistol in her hand. Danny almost chuckled at the sight. Breaking protocol, he hit his comm. "Wonder Woman located. Fantastic condition."

Captain Chandler shot him a disapproving look, one that Danny answered with an apologetic shrug. The last thing they needed was for Carlton to run out of patience and come charging down the hall looking for his girlfriend. Which, Danny recognized, was what he would have done if the situations were reversed and it was Kara in that room.

Turning back to Ravit, Captain Chandler took advantage of a trained set of eyes - or at least ears - on the floor. "Do you have any intel on the shooters or what they were after?"

"No sir. Eight shots in quick succession, probably aimed at causing maximum chaos, followed by a stampede of people heading for the exits. Whoever they were, they knew where they were going. It took me more than ten minutes to get the door locked and nobody touched the handle except for this guy." Ravit aimed her thumb towards the corner of the room and Danny noticed the orderly for the first time, the man's shuffling feet and bowed head a pretty solid indicator that wasn't thrilled at being found hiding behind a paralyzed woman. "That was how I got the door locked and into the chair."

"How'd you get the gun?" Miller asked, the naivety of the question actually earning a raised eyebrow from Jeter. Did Rick _really_ think Ravit was hanging around a hospital unarmed?

"My underwear drawer," Ravit replied, deadpan, causing Miller's eyes to bulge.

Interrupting the byplay, Captain Chandler asked, "Anything else you can tell us?"

Ravit cocked her head to the side as she thought. "Just the sense that, whoever they are, they seemed to know exactly what they were doing."

Chandler's lips thinned. "Professionals? Military?"

"Definitely possible," Ravit confirmed. That made the most sense. These people were after something specific, and there were only a few reasons to target this hospital.

Chandler nodded, tossing Ravit a radio before turning towards the door. "Elevators are out, so I suggest you lock yourself back in after we leave. If you don't hear from us again within an hour, call down for an evac."

After Ravit's room there were only a few more to check before they hit the isolation wing, which was where Niels was being held. Given the targeted attack, the apparent lack of interest in the lab, and Lewis's failure to respond to Teylor's calls, Danny was starting to wonder if they had this attack all wrong. Captain Chandler seemed to be thinking the same.

Hitting his comm again, he asked. "Any sign of the White Witch?"

Another code name that Danny suspected Slattery found secretly amusing, although the official reason for the choice was their original assignment in the Arctic.

"Negative," Slattery responded immediately. "We're almost done clearing the south wing. Located the Wizard of Oz's protective detail in a bathroom stall. DOA. No bullets so probably done first."

The news came like a wet blanket. Captain Chandler's lips thinned. "We're headed towards the Gremlin. Meet up in the North Hallway."

 _Gremlin_. Niels' code-name was entirely appropriate.

Without waiting for Tiger Team, Chandler once again began moving down the hall towards the heavy doors to the isolation wing, barely scanning the few regular rooms that remained. Upon entering the unit, even the poor lighting couldn't disguise the sight of several lumps lying near the door to Niels' room, ones that Danny recognizeds for what they were - human bodies. Approaching as quietly as possible, Captain Chandler and Danny took up positions on either side of the hall while Miller leaned down, rolling the first body over to reveal Lewis's blank stare. A quick inspection showed the other two men to be part of Michener's guard detail, all three men shot point blank with no evidence that they tried to fight back.

 _Taken by surprise._

As Slattery, Burk, and Tex joined them, voices rang out, too loud to be muffled by the door. Rachel was the first to speak, her voice shrill. "You're completely insane!"

"You have no understanding of what we are dealing with, Doctor," a voice responded. Danny shook his head, glancing at Carlton in case the booze was making him imagine things, but Carlton wore the same shocked expression. As implausible as it seemed, the voice currently coming from the room sounding exactly like their current commander-in-chief, swarmy poised politician and all.

"What we're dealing with here is a man who attempted to kill the entire human race," Rachel snapped back. "What exactly do I not understand!"

"Niels is a patriot," a man's voice interjected. Danny couldn't immediately place him but the voice was vaguely familiar. A few seconds later the memory crystallized. Aaron Prentice. One of the volunteers who had arrived earlier this week, a police chief from somewhere in Arkansas. A retired Marine Captain, who Danny cleared and assigned to hotel detail. He felt abruptly sick.

 _Had he been the one to let the inside man inside - again?_

But there was no time for reflection. One thing was clear, Rachel was inside that room and getting to her was the priority. How Michener was involved could be determined later. Stepping back, Danny switched place with Slattery, who had managed to find a set of master keys.

Captain Chandler held up three fingers, silently signalling the countdown. 3. 2. 1. A turn of the key and Halsey was through the door, Slattery, Wolf, and Miller on his heels. By the time Danny made it into the room, Prentice was already face down on the floor, Wolf's knee in his back, and Halsey had a solid grip on an unknown man's leg. Slattery was standing before a furious looking Michener, who had a gun against Rachel's side, while Rick stood in front of a dazed Oliver.

Scanning the room to confirm that there were no other suspects, Danny unarmed the man Halsey was holding before ordering the dog to release, ignoring the man's whining about dying from blood loss. A small slimy looking character, Danny recognized him now. A guy by the name of Curtis, he had come by the hotel two days ago, claiming to be a minister at one of those big box churches down in Florida and asking about a role in the new administration.

"Let's discuss this," Captain Chandler was saying, as he moved slowly into the room, leaving Burk and Jeter to watch the hallway. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation."

"If it isn't the Great Captain Chandler," Michener's voice no longer sounded smooth but rather angry and bitter. "The man who saved the world. Isn't that right, Captain? Except that you didn't, did you? You were too late. Too late for your wife. Too late for my family. Too later for _five billion people._ If you had done your job right - come back with the primordial on schedule - none of that would have happened."

 _He was crazy_. Captain Chandler hadn't even know what Rachel was doing in the Arctic. None of them had, not until it was time to leave and they learned that the weapons' test was just a cover. And even if they had, what could they have done differnetly? Nobody could ever accuse Rachel of slacking on the job. As someone who spent every day with her for four months, Danny could personally attest to her work ethic. If anything, it was President Hayes and his administration, including Michener, that waited too long to do anything about the plague sneaking up on them.

"And if you hadn't joined a cult, millions of Americans might be alive," Rachel bit out, the last thing that any of them wanted to hear given the proximity of the gun to her body.

"Think you what you want, but we will prevail. It's too late for you to stop us." Without hesitation, Michener turned the gun just enough to fire two bullets into Niels' head. Rachel screamed at the unexpected shots only inches from her head. Returning the gun to its prior position at Rachel's side, Michener smiled, his visage twisted into a cruel smile. "As you can see, Niels is no longer a problem for either of us."

"What good does killing Doctor Scott do you?" Chandler asked calmly, although Danny thought his voice shook slightly, the pressure of the situation weighing on all of them. _The President of the United States was holding a gun on the woman who saved the world_. If they weren't successful in getting Michener to lower that gun, who knew what might happen.

Danny considered his options and realize that he had none. Michener was keeping Doctor Scott in front of him, making any shot too dangerous. He began moving, inch by inch, around the perimeter of the room, hoping that Michener wouldn't notice the slight change of position.

But whatever might have happened next was forever a mystery. Because at that moment the large pane of glass to the right of Michener shattered, followed immediately by a bullet that took out most of Michener's head.

 _Killing the sitting President of the United States._

Taking advantage of the chaos, Rachel threw herself in Captain Chandler's direction, being quickly bundled out of the room into the hallway. Danny turned towards the gaping hole in the wall, having no idea what to expect, only to be greeted by the sight of Master Chief Jeter balancing on a small ledge. Moving forward without conscious thought, Danny pulled him inside before he fell.

A stunned silence followed, the only person who seemed unaffected by the sight of Michener lying sprawled across Niels' body with of his head missing was the Master Chief himself. Setting his weapon down on the floor, he dropped to his knees, putting his hands in his head. "I imagine that you will need to arrest and charge me with assassination, Captain. I will not resist arrest or contest the charges. I only want you to know that I did what I firmly believed was the only option at the time."

 _"No."_

Every head in the room swiveled towards Oliver. Although his voice was shaky, it was firm, the man brushing imaginary dust from his vest as he stepped around Miller. "We all saw what happened here, Master Chief. President Michener made the ultimate sacrifice, stepping in the way of a bullet meant for Doctor Scott before Captain Chandler could apprehend Prentice here. We will, of course, mourn President Michener's loss as a hero."

A second silence, almost as tense as the first, descended as Oliver reached his hand down to help Jeter to his feet. Drawing himself up, the Master Chief studied Oliver for long moments before raising his hand to salute. "Of course, Mr. President."

Oliver turned, looking at each of them in turn. "I trust there is no need to discuss what happened in here further?"

"Not at all, sir." Captain Chandler replied, pausing before adding. "And thank you."

"No, thank you." Oliver looked over at Michener, a hand moving to his own throat for a brief moment. "I am very confident that without the Master Chief there, neither Doctor Scott nor I would have left this room alive."


	46. There is no real ending It's just the

_"There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story."_ _― Frank Herbert_

 _x_

"I thought she was crazy," Danny said, his words mumbled into the back of Kara's head. Without turning over, she intertwined their fingers, the early morning sun glinting on the ring she had worn for less than twelve hours. They had been like this since they finally were relieved the night before, curled up together in the center of the bed, neither able to sleep, their minds whirling with the events of the evening prior.

When Danny returned to the hotel, Kara's first emotion was relief. Relief that he was still alive and unharmed, relief that Rachel was safe - even if the woman did appear somewhat shell-shocked, barely moving from Captain Chandler's side - relief that there were no further friendly casualties after the initial assault on the hospital. But then she saw the look in Danny's eyes, a look mirrored by Carlton and Miller and Wolf, and she knew that something had happened at that hospital. Something far worse than she had heard over the radio.

Something that nobody was talking about.

The entire time that she was coordinating with Oliver's team to ensure that the civilian evacuees from the hospital were receiving appropriate medical care, food and housing, her mind had been whirling, wondering what could have happened. President Michener's absence was concerning, but it was Commander Slattery's insistence that the hospital's bio-containment unit remain off limits - an order reinforced by the assignment of two armed guards - which cemented Kara's belief that whatever went down would have long-lasting implications. But nothing had prepared Kara for what she learned during the top secret meeting that happened well after midnight.

She was now one of only thirty-four people in the world who knew that President Michener was a traitor who had attempted to kidnap Rachel and turn her over to the Immunes. As Captain Chandler spoke, Kara understood the teams' gobsmacked expressions. She felt the same way. Kara might never have truly trusted Michener, and she had certainly had her doubts about his ability to govern, but she never would have believed him capable of such treachery, such betrayal of his country and the oath he had taken only days before. In fact, looking around the room, Tex was the only person who didn't appear at least slightly dazed, even cracking a few caustic jokes, causing Kara to wonder what he must have experienced to take the death of a sitting president so calmly.

"Val, you mean?" Kara asked quietly, stroking her thumb across Danny's wrist.

"Yeah." The word was a sigh. "All of her talk about government conspiracy involving our trip to the Arctic. I flat out told her she was nuts. Didn't believe a thing she said. Now I wonder some of her ideas weren't so far-fetched after all."

It wasn't difficult to figure out what caused Danny to change his tune so abruptly. Because what happened in the early hours of the morning was the definition of a cover-up, and what took place in that hospital room was now a state secret, one approved by both the newly-appointed President Oliver and the Chief (and only) Justice of the Supreme Court.

And it was Kara's job to make sure that nobody learned the truth.

Turned out that was the reason she was invited into the meeting in the first place. As President Michener's (and now President Oliver's) Deputy Chief of Staff, she would be the person in charge of ensuring that the events of the night before never saw the light of day, the actual reports buried in the bottom of a drawer while the cleaned up, official versions - ones with key information carefully redacted to make them look more authentic - were leaked. It was her job to lie to her country, to ensure that everyone believed the story that Oliver planned to feed them. A story where Michener was a hero tragically killed in a misguided attempt to save Doctor Scott from a crazed Curtis. A story that meant Michener would be buried as a hero while Curtis was convicted for a crime he didn't commit (not that Kara felt bad for the man, given his involvement in the deaths of seven guards), with only a few "crackpots" like Val ever questioning the official version.

Seeing how easily Oliver spun the story, not a single twitch of his face to give him away, made Kara question whether their new president was any better than their old. Yet what choice did he have? Ironically, the truth was so unbelievable that it was more likely to be questioned than the lie that Oliver had invented. Revealing that Michener was an Immune spy, a traitor who truly believed that only those with natural immunity to the Red Flu deserved to live, could easily tear the country apart, destroying any chance they had to rebuild.

"We should probably get up," Kara said despite the exhaustion, both physical and mental, that pulled at her. "Must be almost time for PT."

Danny chuckled, his tone suddenly lighter. "Did you forget what day it was?"

It took Kara a full minute before her sleep deprived, pregnancy-fogged brain caught up. _Christmas_. Today was Christmas. December 25th. The most celebrated holiday of the year - and the XO had given them all the day off. Told them to sleep and be merry, despite knowing full well that the vast majority of the crew would be spending the day mourning those who were no longer here to celebrate with them.

"I didn't get you anything." The words popped out and Kara immediately wished that she could recall them. This was their first Christmas together. _H_ _ow could she have forgotten to get Danny a gift?_

But Danny didn't seem bothered, his head moving to nuzzle the spot between her neck and shoulder. "Don't worry, I didn't get you anything either."

"Except a ring," she replied dryly, glancing down at the ring she now wore on her left hand. The ring that felt like she had worn for an instant, and an eternity. "I didn't get a chance to tell you last night. It's beautiful."

"Master Chief gave it to me. It was his wife's ring."

"I know," Kara replied. "He told me. There is a lot of history with this ring, a lot of love."

"I..." Danny paused, forcing Kara to wonder if their engagement felt as surreal to him as it did to her, or if it was residual fear that she would reject him again that had him hesitating.

She kept her voice low, quiet. "Yes?"

The words escaped in a rush. "I was thinking that maybe we could have the ceremony for before the baby arrived. Not that we have to. That's not the only reason I asked. Just so you know."

Kara blinked away tears, hating the pregnancy hormones that had her crying at the drop of a hat, wondering if they could ever really move past the events of Baltimore. Or if what happened there, the words that she threw at him in such anger, would always be there, a barrier between them that could never be overcome.

"I think a short engagement is a great idea," she replied softly, an idea beginning to form. A grand gesture, if you would. The type that was completely out of character for Kara, but one that might go a long way towards rectifying the damage done in Baltimore. To show, rather than tell, Danny how much her feelings had changed since that night.

Danny relaxed against her back, pulling her slightly closer to him. His hand, still intertwined with hers, dropped to her small bump. "Slattery thinks we'll be gone about six weeks. Your mom should be here by then. Does that give you enough time to plan?"

Kara closed her eyes, feeling a burst of panic at the idea of him leaving. It wasn't that she was surprised to learn that Danny would be leading one of the advance teams spreading the cure and working to help rid the country of any remaining Immune threat. In fact, she had been part of the group who planned the different routes and the assigned the teams, so she knew even before Danny where he would be going. But now that the day was here, six weeks felt like an eternity.

Six weeks ago they were in Norfolk with her mother, knowing nothing about the Immunes or Michener and still believing that Niels was dead.

Twelve weeks ago she was gearing up for the vaccine trial, the idea of being pregnant not even a glimmer in her mind.

Eighteen weeks ago they were still in the Arctic, eagerly anticipating the end of the weapons testing and their return to Norfolk.

Over the past six months Kara's entire world had been refashioned as she experienced more anguish, and more joy, than she ever knew was possible. And during that time, her only constant was the man lying here with her. And just like that, Kara knew. She didn't want to wait - not six weeks, not one week, not one more day.

 _She couldn't take the chance that Danny would leave, and never return._

"I'm sure I can rustle up something," she said aloud, her mind spinning ahead, focusing on the practicalities involved in arranging a wedding with only a couple of hours notice. "Given that it's Christmas, do you think Bacon's cooking up something special?"

Danny laughed when Kara's stomach began to rumble. "Want me to go get you some grub?"

"No." Kara realized that her voice was too sharp when Danny's hand paused on her stomach. Forcing a lighter note, she explained. "I'll go. I want to check on Andrea anyway. Make sure that she's doing okay, given the holiday."

Accepting the explanation without question, Danny helped Kara into a seated position, having quickly learned that laughing as she struggled out of the bed was a terrible idea, before flopping back down on the pillows. "Okay, but take Halsey. And don't leave the hotel without telling me."

Yesterday Kara would have rolled her eyes but not today, not when the memories of last night were still so close. Slipping on her sweatpants and a hoodie, she leaned over to give Danny a lingering kiss, one that had him trying to pull her back into the bed while she deftly avoided his hands, laughing at the disgruntled look he shot her. Signalling the dog, she opened the door. "Be back soon."

Three hours and a dozen favors later, Kara swung the door to their room open carrying two steaming cups of coffee and a dress bag over her shoulder. "Rise and shine sleepy head!"

Danny grumbled as he rolled over, obviously less than enthused about the idea. Without waiting for an answer, Kara set one of the cups down next to Danny and slipped into the bathroom to don the dress that Alisha and Val had somehow procured on absolutely no notice. A dark blue color, it was some sort of chiffon material that floated around Kara's waist, making her look almost like her non-pregnant self. Best of all, it was an a-line, which meant that she could actually breathe even with it zipped. When she exited the bathroom ten minutes later, Danny had moved from a prone position to a seated position, coffee cup in hand. One eyebrow rose when he took in her dress. "Not that I'm complaining about the view, but did I miss a memo?"

Winking at him as she sat down to wiggle on her shoes, Kara shook her head. "No, Alisha just thought it would be nice to have everybody dress up for Christmas dinner. I assume you have slacks and a shirt? If not, Carlton has something you can borrow."

Danny snorted as he moved towards his bag, removing a surprisingly unwrinkled pair of slacks. "Do I need to shave?"

Given the lack of running water, most of the guys had taken to shaving just off the kitchens where water was easy to obtain. Unfortunately, the area was also just off the conference room that Kara and Alisha had commandeered as wedding central and the last thing Kara wanted was Danny figuring out what she was up to and ruining the surprise.

"Not on my account." She shook her head, leaning over to press a kiss to his stubbly chin. "Actually, I kind of like it."

Taking advantage of her proximity, Danny wrapped his arm around Kara's disappearing waist, tugging her close enough to give her a much more suggestive kiss. "You know, we didn't really get much of a chance to celebrate last night..."

One more kiss later, Kara pulled away. "Later. Now get dressed before we get written up for being late to Bacon's celebration."

Twenty-five minutes later they were on their way down the stairs, Danny still grumbling about things that he would rather be doing. He seemed puzzled when she turned left at the end of the stairwell rather than right, but didn't comment, probably chalking it up to another one of Bacon's ideas about how a holiday dinner should be served. It was only when Kara opened the doors to the small conference room that Danny seemed to get an inkling of what was about to happen.

He stopped in the doorway, taking in the room in a single sweeping glance, although Kara was unprepared for the first question out of his mouth. "Is Halsey wearing a _bow_?"

Beyond the rows of chairs, most of which were currently filled with members of the Nathan James, Kara caught sight of Master Chief Jeter at the front of the room. Next to him were Alisha and Carlton, who was holding Halsey's lease. And, sure enough, there was a large blue bow on his head.

Fighting the urge to wince at the ridiculous sight - the bow was no doubt courtesy of Alisha - Kara shrugged. "I'm sure that Halsey will recover."

"Is this what I think it is?" Danny asked, his voice quiet, almost stunned.

Taking a deep breath, Kara looked up, hoping that Danny wouldn't notice her slight tremor. "You asked me if six weeks was enough time to plan a wedding. As you can see, it was more than enough."

Danny glanced around the room again, this time fixing on the sight of his father standing with Caro and Teylor to one side of the room, Chris next to them, shifting awkwardly in a suit that was clearly borrowed, probably from Tex based on the fact that it appeared to be corduroy. The silence stretched so long that Kara began to wonder whether Danny might actually say no. Then his eyes fixed on her face. "What about your mother?"

Swallowing, Kara blinked away tears. Because it _was_ hard not having Debbie here. Kara might not have spent much time dreaming about her wedding, either before or after meeting Danny, but even a year ago she would never have imagined getting married without Debbie by her side.

Now, though, now Kara knew how lucky she was that Debbie was alive. Because Danny's mother wasn't here either and, unlike Debbie, Joanne was unlikely to be here even if they waited a year to get married. And even more, Kara knew that she could no longer plan her life around her mother. Because Debbie was no longer the most important person, or even the second most important person, in her life. Her spot had been usurped by a sailor with a quick wit and charming smile, and a baby who had yet to take his first breathe.

"You're my family now. You and this baby," Kara replied, her voice husky. "I don't want to wait to make that official."

"We don't have rings."

Laughing at Danny's rather ridiculous protest, Kara opened the small black clutch she borrowed from Andrea, pulling out the simple gold bands. A lump grew in her throat. "These belonged to my parents. My mother gave them to me years ago and I picked them up when I was gathering things at Norfolk. They were happy, you know, back then. It might not have lasted very long but they were happy." She passed one over. "See if it fits."

They were both silent as Danny slid the ring, which fit perfectly, onto his ring finger. Quickly removing it, he met her gaze full-on. "Are you sure, Kara?"

"Yes." She glanced away, taking in all of the faces of those surrounding them. The faces of those who had become her family - _their_ family - in the last few months. The faces of those who had been with them through thick and thin. Who had been there for every step of her and Danny's relationship, whether they knew so at the time or not. Having them here felt right. "So what do you think? You ready to get married, Lieutenant Green?"

A familiar grin split Danny's face. "Hell yeah."

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 _AN - and the story is done. I appreciate all of your support in the form of reviews and messages and favorites and follows. It means so much as a writer! Really!_

 _I had a few requests to continue this story through the time jump to season 3 but, after careful consideration, decided to stick with my planned ending. After all, this is really Danny and Kara story and what is a wedding, except both a beginning and an end? If you are interested in my take on nation building and the crew's search for their families, please check out my story The Journey North, which is canon through season 2._

 _For anyone wondering what I will be working on next, I am hoping to finish Messenger of Death and Fools Rush in over the next couple of weeks. After that I will be taking a break as I am expecting my third little munchkin soon and (unlike Kara) it takes me more than a couple of days to jump back into things. ;) So until next time! XOXO - tmtcltb_


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